DW never wants sex during the holidays

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband does NOTHING for Christmas. I do all the shopping, all the wrapping, all the schlepping. Once the kids opened their presents, he slept for the rest of the day. I made dinner. And cleaned up. There are a ton of boxes that need to by broken down--did he do it? Nope. I'm just over it. He gets incredibly defensive when I ask him to do anything.
I want to get in the car and drive somewhere far away.

No one is more surprised by a kid's gifts on Christmas morning than their father.

⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's completely normal. Her social energy is all used up by the social obligations of the holidays. She doesn't have enough alone time and rest. Yes it's a special time to connect-- but with other people, not you. Because she lives with you all year long. You should be connecting with the other people that you are seeing, not increasing your demands on your wife.

You might think that telling her all of her efforts are stupid and pointless is the solution, but it isn't. You could consider taking on some of the workload, but only if you're going to do a good job and do it reliably and without being reminded. Otherwise you're just one more problem on her list.

I don’t think that telling her that all of her efforts are stupid and pointless is good, but I think it’s fine to tell her that maybe they should dial it back as a couple.
He’s her husband. He is supposed to protect her and take care of her, at least somewhat. He shouldn’t just watch while she makes herself crazy and exhausted.

You can try that, but what you're saying is "Don't do the things you have been doing, because I don't value them." That is not going to put her in the mood. It only makes her feel unappreciated and alone. He should offer up something that *he* values to be eliminated or taken over by him.

No.
You can have like three things you value around the holidays and that’s it. So, you can value:
- family time, religion, music
Or
- gifts, elaborate meals, and decorations
Or
- cards, connecting with extended family, and baking for the neighbors

You don’t get to say that you value 25 different things and then drive yourself and everyone around you crazy.

I could do all of those things, including the 25 other different things I enjoy doing.

Why do you have to use this time to get more and more and more and more attention from me you have me the other 300 days of the year.

Hey. If you are “Christmas lady” and you wait all year for it to come around so that you can do all of the things, and you are pretty go with the flow the rest of the year, then you should go for it and your husband should respect that.

That’s like being an accountant during tax season or a coach during play-off season.

There are certain times of the year that people are busy. If that’s new to you I can’t help you.

The week before a family vacation. The week before school starts. The week everyone has the flu, The day of a kids birthday party.

If someone has to tell you these things are exhausting your a child yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you’ve got young kids, trust me your wife is exhausted. If you don’t have any kids she has “visions of Santa dancing in her head”.

How exhausting is sex? It's not like you're asking her to run a 5k with you. Let's be honest, it's about 6 minutes, on average, of mostly just laying there for her. Maybe a few minutes of foreplay. People make way too big a deal about sex. Being tired is just an excuse. If she wanted to have sex with you, she would find the energy required to enjoy it with you.