Parents who volunteer for everything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Teachers work hard and educate my children. I am happy to chip in or organize a breakfast or lunch for them.

I like going to my child’s Halloween party and parade, going on field trips and attending school events.

It goes by fast. I’m going to enjoy this phase.

I didn’t say you enjoyed it. I just said it was unnecessary. It’s distracting. And it’s more work for the teachers to entertain you.

But I’m glad you enjoy it

[Anonymous]

I didn’t say you didn’t enjoy it. *^^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

None of that has to be done inside the school, distracting the children, and the teachers and the administration.

[Anonymous]

I'm grateful that they have time. I was laid off recently so have had more time to volunteer and have been doing it quite a bit, not to relive my youth but because they need volunteers and why not make myself useful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

None of that has to be done inside the school, distracting the children, and the teachers and the administration.

I'm not sure what you think we were doing that was distracting anyone. But then you never volunteered for anything, did you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else feel bad for the parents who feel the need to volunteer for everything their kid does-helps on the field for every football game, chaperones every field trip, flies to every school trip?
And they act like they know all the kids and the “kids just love” them.

It’s almost like they are reliving their youth

What a bizarre take. Some therapy might be in order for you.

[Anonymous]

I don’t even understand how a parent who doesn’t want to volunteer could feel “competition” or anything with parents who do because wouldn’t you just not see them? What are we mad at, an email update?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else feel bad for the parents who feel the need to volunteer for everything their kid does-helps on the field for every football game, chaperones every field trip, flies to every school trip?
And they act like they know all the kids and the “kids just love” them.

It’s almost like they are reliving their youth

The parents all have some weird childhood trauma.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

None of that has to be done inside the school, distracting the children, and the teachers and the administration.

Our administration loves having parents and other volunteers in the school. Most of our teachers love it, too. Those who don't can limit volunteers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else feel bad for the parents who feel the need to volunteer for everything their kid does-helps on the field for every football game, chaperones every field trip, flies to every school trip?
And they act like they know all the kids and the “kids just love” them.

It’s almost like they are reliving their youth

No, you sound jealous. Sorry you don't have the emotional energy, free time, or bandwidth to give back to your community.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Teachers work hard and educate my children. I am happy to chip in or organize a breakfast or lunch for them.

I like going to my child’s Halloween party and parade, going on field trips and attending school events.

It goes by fast. I’m going to enjoy this phase.

I didn’t say you enjoyed it. I just said it was unnecessary. It’s distracting. And it’s more work for the teachers to entertain you.

But I’m glad you enjoy it

Yes, community is just extra fluff. Why bother when you can just be antisocial? It’s easier

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

None of that has to be done inside the school, distracting the children, and the teachers and the administration.

I'm not sure what you think we were doing that was distracting anyone. But then you never volunteered for anything, did you?

+1. Shelving library books or making copies and putting together projects in the work rooms is hardly distracting to kids. It’s not as if the volunteers are literally sitting side by side the kids for most things. Seems like a lot of projecting from people who never volunteer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

None of that has to be done inside the school, distracting the children, and the teachers and the administration.

I'm not sure what you think we were doing that was distracting anyone. But then you never volunteered for anything, did you?

+1. Shelving library books or making copies and putting together projects in the work rooms is hardly distracting to kids. It’s not as if the volunteers are literally sitting side by side the kids for most things. Seems like a lot of projecting from people who never volunteer.

They want to cancel it because they have FOMO and their kids ask them why they never see their parents at school. If the schools had an issue with it they would cancel it themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Teachers work hard and educate my children. I am happy to chip in or organize a breakfast or lunch for them.

I like going to my child’s Halloween party and parade, going on field trips and attending school events.

It goes by fast. I’m going to enjoy this phase.

Same. Sounds like OP is talking about older kids but with the tone it's hard to tell.

I WFH with a flexible schedule and walking distance to our ES. Yes I volunteer. Like a PP, I enjoy seeing the kids it's a nice break from the workday. And if feels useful and appreciated by the teachers and staff. I appreciate the parents that do more of the legwork in organizing and planning things.

I don't really care if some bitter person finds what I do performative.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I have two friends who volunteer for everything their kids do. They do it because they know it gets their kids things that the other kids don't get. But these moms in general have no lives of their own. I feel bad for the kids, actually, because they have nothing for themselves. They also think that they earned these special extras because of their talent/hard work, they will end up being very disappointed later in life when they realize they have to so the work or that they weren't as talented as they thought.

None of this is true, but if it makes you feel better to think ill of those who help out in your community, not one can stop your bitterness.