Women don't want men over 45 who have never been married or have no kids

[Anonymous]

A 45-year old with no kids is definitely better than a 45-year old with kids, regardless of gender. Kids are hugely complicating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And men ideally do not want women who have been married before and have kids, so there's that.

Yeah and those men pursue women who are younger than 40

Average age gap for first marriages is 1.4 years; second marriage 4 years. Keep dreaming about all these younger women drooling over you, bro !

Traditionally it was about 20 years, and marriages lasted forever, till death do they part. Less than 4% divorce rate for hundreds of years.

Modern society tried to reverse the gender roles and now divorce rates are over 65%, and they were only 35% just 40 years ago.

It's feminism that has ruined everything. Saying this as a woman.

Maybe you are a woman, but you can't google and throw baseless statements. There was never an age gap of 20 years at marriage in Anglo Saxon cultures, even 3 centuries ago. It was 2-4 years max, people married at 20

That person is ridiculous. People married young, it was never traditional for women to marry men their father's age on any kind of scale. Just like now, there are always outliers but it wasn't some expected widespread practice men would marry their daughters off to their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my country we call anyone unmarried or at least not engaged to be married past year 30 a leftover. In the West maybe you get a few more years, so let’s say past year 35 makes you a leftover in America.

Korea?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

Why do you assume this? Wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What did the person posting about being lame mean? That lame men only succeed with Ukrainian and Russian women?

I dated someone who never married or had kids by late 40s. It was a disaster. They can’t relate to someone with kids (which I had) and were unable to let go and express themselves openly and freely. Hot and cold. Predictably unpredictable. I’d never experienced anything like it. They captivated me for a while and I was hopeful but it never improved.

PP. My point was that Ukrainian and Russian women will marry down a bit, particularly with respect to social skills. I was being harsh but in my opinion they will put up with a lot for an American husband. Because a B-tier American husband is a better, less sexist husband than an A minus tier EE husband. That matters to a woman who has her -ish together. There are a lot of issues with men as a demographic in the ex-USSR. Too complicated to go into here at a convincing, factual level. But there are real phenomena. Main point, it's a potential opportunity for OP. There are people here now living with relatives, escaping the war.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did the person posting about being lame mean? That lame men only succeed with Ukrainian and Russian women?

I dated someone who never married or had kids by late 40s. It was a disaster. They can’t relate to someone with kids (which I had) and were unable to let go and express themselves openly and freely. Hot and cold. Predictably unpredictable. I’d never experienced anything like it. They captivated me for a while and I was hopeful but it never improved.

PP. My point was that Ukrainian and Russian women will marry down a bit, particularly with respect to social skills. I was being harsh but in my opinion they will put up with a lot for an American husband. Because a B-tier American husband is a better, less sexist husband than an A minus tier EE husband. That matters to a woman who has her -ish together. There are a lot of issues with men as a demographic in the ex-USSR. Too complicated to go into here at a convincing, factual level. But there are real phenomena. Main point, it's a potential opportunity for OP. There are people here now living with relatives, escaping the war.

Russian woman here. You are strongly underestimating the will power and determination of Russian women. I married an uber successful Russian American in my 20s. Yes I did divorce him for grueling into a total ass….e and date only American men now. But they are are even more successful than my exH with only election- this time around I don’t overlook the social skills.
OP shouldn’t lie to himself: if he wants a pretty younger EE woman he’ll have to pay up to afford her. Particular if he lacks social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my country we call anyone unmarried or at least not engaged to be married past year 30 a leftover. In the West maybe you get a few more years, so let’s say past year 35 makes you a leftover in America.

Korea?

I think China. There was a funny audition on AGT or BGT about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did the person posting about being lame mean? That lame men only succeed with Ukrainian and Russian women?

I dated someone who never married or had kids by late 40s. It was a disaster. They can’t relate to someone with kids (which I had) and were unable to let go and express themselves openly and freely. Hot and cold. Predictably unpredictable. I’d never experienced anything like it. They captivated me for a while and I was hopeful but it never improved.

PP. My point was that Ukrainian and Russian women will marry down a bit, particularly with respect to social skills. I was being harsh but in my opinion they will put up with a lot for an American husband. Because a B-tier American husband is a better, less sexist husband than an A minus tier EE husband. That matters to a woman who has her -ish together. There are a lot of issues with men as a demographic in the ex-USSR. Too complicated to go into here at a convincing, factual level. But there are real phenomena. Main point, it's a potential opportunity for OP. There are people here now living with relatives, escaping the war.

Russian woman here. You are strongly underestimating the will power and determination of Russian women. I married an uber successful Russian American in my 20s. Yes I did divorce him for grueling into a total ass….e and date only American men now. But they are are even more successful than my exH with only election- this time around I don’t overlook the social skills.
OP shouldn’t lie to himself: if he wants a pretty younger EE woman he’ll have to pay up to afford her. Particular if he lacks social skills.

PP. Not underestimating at all. And I assume OP has a good job and might be a geek. That's okay. Still might be a good husband.

I've read your story before, I think.

The people I've known have not come from wealthy backgrounds. Educated yes, but not wealthy. And far away from organized crime or anyone with big money.

Also I don't live in the DMV. The standards for leading a good life are less expensive here (big house, nice car, college for kids).

In my original post, I mentioned a lady from a not-famous Russian undergrad who married a guy from her Virginia private Christian university grad program. He's still a manager. She's a big corporation's VP of Comms. I've seen numerous such women who were way smarter and more pulled together than their husbands. They had to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What did the person posting about being lame mean? That lame men only succeed with Ukrainian and Russian women?

I dated someone who never married or had kids by late 40s. It was a disaster. They can’t relate to someone with kids (which I had) and were unable to let go and express themselves openly and freely. Hot and cold. Predictably unpredictable. I’d never experienced anything like it. They captivated me for a while and I was hopeful but it never improved.

PP. My point was that Ukrainian and Russian women will marry down a bit, particularly with respect to social skills. I was being harsh but in my opinion they will put up with a lot for an American husband. Because a B-tier American husband is a better, less sexist husband than an A minus tier EE husband. That matters to a woman who has her -ish together. There are a lot of issues with men as a demographic in the ex-USSR. Too complicated to go into here at a convincing, factual level. But there are real phenomena. Main point, it's a potential opportunity for OP. There are people here now living with relatives, escaping the war.

Russian woman here. You are strongly underestimating the will power and determination of Russian women. I married an uber successful Russian American in my 20s. Yes I did divorce him for grueling into a total ass….e and date only American men now. But they are are even more successful than my exH with only election- this time around I don’t overlook the social skills.
OP shouldn’t lie to himself: if he wants a pretty younger EE woman he’ll have to pay up to afford her. Particular if he lacks social skills.

PP. Not underestimating at all. And I assume OP has a good job and might be a geek. That's okay. Still might be a good husband.

I've read your story before, I think.

The people I've known have not come from wealthy backgrounds. Educated yes, but not wealthy. And far away from organized crime or anyone with big money.

Also I don't live in the DMV. The standards for leading a good life are less expensive here (big house, nice car, college for kids).

In my original post, I mentioned a lady from a not-famous Russian undergrad who married a guy from her Virginia private Christian university grad program. He's still a manager. She's a big corporation's VP of Comms. I've seen numerous such women who were way smarter and more pulled together than their husbands. They had to be.

I didn’t see your original post maybe it was deleted by moderator. Yes, it could be in option but keep in mind they tend to divorce the husband who was lacking in anything because these women simply can… If the gorgeous VPs get divorced they date either 1) a 10 years younger pro athlete looking better than Brad Pitt; 2) an equal partner within 5 years of their own age or 3) an older hedge fund manager from Silicone Valley. All examples from my own circle.

So OP does have a chance of dating an equally attractive VP if he’s a VP himself . Or if he wants a younger fertile model, he needs to pay up for a lady of modest background (EE or American, doesn’t matter), and bear the risk that she will divorce him upon her own maturation

[Anonymous]

People are so judgy in this area it makes sense that nobody really wants to date or marry anyone here for a good reason

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 45-year old with no kids is definitely better than a 45-year old with kids, regardless of gender. Kids are hugely complicating.

[phone]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did your date actually say she had concerns about your history?

Because it seems far more likely that she just didn't vibe with you for whatever reason.

OP here. Yes I'll agree with you we probably didn't vibe. But when I have been on dates before, I always feel like they think there is something wrong with me because I am single no kids never married at this age. I understand it's part of the vetting process, but it's frustrating nevertheless because there is nothing wrong me I just didn't want to settle in my 30s.

NP. 50s woman who dated after my divorce in my 40s. I was open to never married guys at first, but every one ended up being a bit weird and immature, sorry. They didn’t understand family and work commitments, and a guy who says he ‘didn’t want to settle’ is a red flag (so no one is good enough for you??). I found the easiest fit was divorced guys with kids, although I met two guys who were great who were divorced with no kids because they had tried and couldn’t have children .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

Why do you assume this? Wrong.

I think it’s absolutely true. Deadbeats gonna deadbeat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Annual sperm testing? That's bizarre. Red flag in itself regardless of the results.

Don't men have fertility issues after 40 as well?

Yes and most can’t get it up anyway

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of the women are lying when they say that they would prefer a 46 years old man who has never been married and has no kids over a man the same age who is divorced with kids. I have not observed this in the real world, instead it's like there is something wrong with you for being this age and never had a wife and/or kids. Maybe I should have a had a kid out of wedlock in my 20s/30s lol it would have given me more "clout"

Sorry I am just venting this saturday morning. Went to the bar yesterday got rejected, been getting rejected on OLD. In the meantime this guy I know who is recently divorced came with us with his new date.

Luckily we have an anonymous forum we can vent because for us men we can't really share these kind of feelings among us.

So what are your reason(s) for never marrying in your 20s or 30s?

At a minimum tell yourself the truth and work from there.