Women don't want men over 45 who have never been married or have no kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

Why do you assume this? Wrong.

I think it’s absolutely true. Deadbeats gonna deadbeat.

Smooth talking divorced misogynists want kids like a toddler wants a dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: you should have bought a ticket to Thailand this morning. You will do much better there.

If you insist on dating here, date younger. I now realize I was wasting my time with women around my age. I currently have a 26 year old GF, we have been together for three years.

You think she’ll stick around when she’s 56 and you are 76?

When I'm 76 she will be 35.

That’s nasty.

[Anonymous]

Image & ego!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 45-year old with no kids is definitely better than a 45-year old with kids, regardless of gender. Kids are hugely complicating.

Good point.

You’re basically not tested as a real adult and life Partner until you raise and parent kids together. Or fail and bust your marriage and/or ruin your kids with your selfish individual behaviors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would prefer a divorced man with no kids at 45+. No marriage at all by that age is a red flag for both men and women.

I agree with a few exceptions. If someone has had a long health struggle or difficult climb out of poverty, it’s more understandable.

Also, a relative of mine took care of her disabled mom from age 17 to 37. She was not only unmarried, but a virgin at that age.

Yeah, that’s a huge burden. Sometimes you have to put yourself first, in waves.
She either diverted a lot of money from her high income job or a lot of time and a bit of money from her less high income job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did your date actually say she had concerns about your history?

Because it seems far more likely that she just didn't vibe with you for whatever reason.

OP here. Yes I'll agree with you we probably didn't vibe. But when I have been on dates before, I always feel like they think there is something wrong with me because I am single no kids never married at this age. I understand it's part of the vetting process, but it's frustrating nevertheless because there is nothing wrong me I just didn't want to settle in my 30s.

You must get the question why.

What were you doing and focusing on during your 20-40s?

[Anonymous]

Peace Corp for life!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

…most divorced guys with kids in their late 40s don’t want more kids. Even the ones who end up having more kids typically don’t want them, it’s just that they met a younger woman and she talked him into having kids. But those dads typically are not involved much with the later kid(s), other than financially supporting them.

There are tons who do. Especially the narcissists who make bank.

They want to prove to everyone they are not a failure and are socially successful, so they start dating asap and promising the world to women.

They also steer away from women who work fulltime and make good money. They want a more dependent SAH woman this time, since they know they won’t be doing much at home or with any future or current kids. Btdt.

But they’ll swing by when convenient and snap/post a couple Family Guy pics and pat the kids on their heads.
Do some Disney dad stuff with his first set of kids or dump them off at his mother’s house. Hope they don’t play summer sports or need summer classes or like to go to camps with their friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

…most divorced guys with kids in their late 40s don’t want more kids. Even the ones who end up having more kids typically don’t want them, it’s just that they met a younger woman and she talked him into having kids. But those dads typically are not involved much with the later kid(s), other than financially supporting them.

They never were earlier either. Hence the broken marriage and divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

+1. Men or women who want a second family at all are a huge red flag to me. It shows a selfishness that is incompatible with being a good person. It destroys your existing kids.

+1

Esp the ones who keep refusing to get a vasectomy during the first marriage after kids and age 40+.

“Keeping my options open”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did your date actually say she had concerns about your history?

Because it seems far more likely that she just didn't vibe with you for whatever reason.

OP here. Yes I'll agree with you we probably didn't vibe. But when I have been on dates before, I always feel like they think there is something wrong with me because I am single no kids never married at this age. I understand it's part of the vetting process, but it's frustrating nevertheless because there is nothing wrong me I just didn't want to settle in my 30s.

“Not wanting to settle in my 30s”—what does that mean? Were you expectations unrealistic?

OP here. But settle I meant getting married having kids. Poor choice of word. I don't have unrealistic expectations. I many not be the most outgoing bubbly guy, but I am an introvert either. I think my issue is that I don't have that spark that can captivate a woman's attention. And this why I was hoping OLD would work for me because with OLD at least the first initial contact is not face to face. Should I get a dating coach? I'm getting kind of desperate and I don't want to be alone anymore because I have a lot to offer. I get my sperm count/mobility checked yearly, I exercise and eat healthy. So I don't know.

You seem to lack confidence.

What areas of your life are you confident and keep focusing there and hope it bleeds over to friendships, dating, travel, hobbies, interests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP what are you going for now? Are you trying to meet someone to start a family with now? If so, what are you considering "too old" for you to date?

What were you doing between 30 and 46? Were you actively dating and trying to start a family and it just didn't work out? Or were you off touring as a musician or something and just putting off family life?

The context matters a lot.

So I graduated with a degree in petroleum engineering and from the age of 23 until 38 I was based outside the United States mainly in Africa Angola, Gabon and Nigeria and for a few years in Saudi Arabia. So I spent all my 20s/30s working in my dream job and still do but I am not longer on the field.

Where do you live now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am about to test OP's theory. I turned 47 yesterday and went on date with a woman who is 34. I have 2 kids and divorced. She doesn't have any kids and never married. We had a good time. And we will go on our second date next week.

Folks I am just going on date lol. I'm not looking for a second wife. If she wants a husband and kids she wouldn't have agreed to go on a date with me.

Has she told you that she does not want a husband and kids? If she has not, then you cannot make that assumption.

You owe it to her to make it clear that you are not looking for a second wife.

[Anonymous]

Agree w PP.

That post was total muck for understanding why she doesn’t want marriage or kids, or that he told her that he doesn’t want either as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

…most divorced guys with kids in their late 40s don’t want more kids. Even the ones who end up having more kids typically don’t want them, it’s just that they met a younger woman and she talked him into having kids. But those dads typically are not involved much with the later kid(s), other than financially supporting them.

There are tons who do. Especially the narcissists who make bank.

They want to prove to everyone they are not a failure and are socially successful, so they start dating asap and promising the world to women.

They also steer away from women who work fulltime and make good money. They want a more dependent SAH woman this time, since they know they won’t be doing much at home or with any future or current kids. Btdt.

But they’ll swing by when convenient and snap/post a couple Family Guy pics and pat the kids on their heads.
Do some Disney dad stuff with his first set of kids or dump them off at his mother’s house. Hope they don’t play summer sports or need summer classes or like to go to camps with their friends.

Or maybe they want such a second wife because their ex was a battleaxe careerist and it ruined their marriage, so they yearn for a more traditional feminine homemaker spouse. I mean a breadwinner husband and SAHM is the way it's been done for literally thousands of years, but sure, modern feminists have it all figured out. Which is why every other woman is divorced and addicted to SSRIs.