Women don't want men over 45 who have never been married or have no kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

+1. Men or women who want a second family at all are a huge red flag to me. It shows a selfishness that is incompatible with being a good person. It destroys your existing kids.

+1

Esp the ones who keep refusing to get a vasectomy during the first marriage after kids and age 40+.

“Keeping my options open”

No man should get a vasectomy.
No woman should get tied unless there is a real health risk not doing so, which is rare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A 45-year old with no kids is definitely better than a 45-year old with kids, regardless of gender. Kids are hugely complicating.

Only in theory, on a message board where people like to virtue signal and babble about hypotheticals. In real life this gives men and women the ick and they're going to immediately obsess about what's wrong with you. It's human nature. People who are "catches" don't spend 35 or 40 plus years of their life unmarried without kids. Who are you guys kidding with this nonsense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 45-year old with no kids is definitely better than a 45-year old with kids, regardless of gender. Kids are hugely complicating.

Only in theory, on a message board where people like to virtue signal and babble about hypotheticals. In real life this gives men and women the ick and they're going to immediately obsess about what's wrong with you. It's human nature. People who are "catches" don't spend 35 or 40 plus years of their life unmarried without kids. Who are you guys kidding with this nonsense?

No, lots of people have long term relationships now without getting married. It's not 1955.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 45-year old with no kids is definitely better than a 45-year old with kids, regardless of gender. Kids are hugely complicating.

Only in theory, on a message board where people like to virtue signal and babble about hypotheticals. In real life this gives men and women the ick and they're going to immediately obsess about what's wrong with you. It's human nature. People who are "catches" don't spend 35 or 40 plus years of their life unmarried without kids. Who are you guys kidding with this nonsense?

People with kids from a pre-existing relationship are never a "catch," though. Even widows bring a tremendous amount of baggage. Add in a coparent, and it's so much extra complexity. Comparing a relationship with no kids or only mutual kids to one with unrelated kids to one of the partners is like comparing swimming with the current versus swimming upstream. It's just so much harder, even with the best of people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am about to test OP's theory. I turned 47 yesterday and went on date with a woman who is 34. I have 2 kids and divorced. She doesn't have any kids and never married. We had a good time. And we will go on our second date next week.

Folks I am just going on date lol. I'm not looking for a second wife. If she wants a husband and kids she wouldn't have agreed to go on a date with me.

Has she told you that she does not want a husband and kids? If she has not, then you cannot make that assumption.

You owe it to her to make it clear that you are not looking for a second wife.

If she did want marriage and kids, dl.uou honestly think she will opt for a 47 years old man who already has kids? She is only 34. There are so many men her age of you her who want to be married and have kids. I think it's safe for amy 47 years old man who goes on a date with a woman to make that assumption..Sure she may want marriage and kids but definitely not with a 47 years old who already has kids. She is only 34!!!! He is a grandpa compared to her

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am about to test OP's theory. I turned 47 yesterday and went on date with a woman who is 34. I have 2 kids and divorced. She doesn't have any kids and never married. We had a good time. And we will go on our second date next week.

Folks I am just going on date lol. I'm not looking for a second wife. If she wants a husband and kids she wouldn't have agreed to go on a date with me.

Has she told you that she does not want a husband and kids? If she has not, then you cannot make that assumption.

You owe it to her to make it clear that you are not looking for a second wife.

If she did want marriage and kids, dl.uou honestly think she will opt for a 47 years old man who already has kids? She is only 34. There are so many men her age of you her who want to be married and have kids. I think it's safe for amy 47 years old man who goes on a date with a woman to make that assumption..Sure she may want marriage and kids but definitely not with a 47 years old who already has kids. She is only 34!!!! He is a grandpa compared to her

Maybe she's not that great looking and cant find someone her age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

…most divorced guys with kids in their late 40s don’t want more kids. Even the ones who end up having more kids typically don’t want them, it’s just that they met a younger woman and she talked him into having kids. But those dads typically are not involved much with the later kid(s), other than financially supporting them.

There are tons who do. Especially the narcissists who make bank.

They want to prove to everyone they are not a failure and are socially successful, so they start dating asap and promising the world to women.

They also steer away from women who work fulltime and make good money. They want a more dependent SAH woman this time, since they know they won’t be doing much at home or with any future or current kids. Btdt.

But they’ll swing by when convenient and snap/post a couple Family Guy pics and pat the kids on their heads.
Do some Disney dad stuff with his first set of kids or dump them off at his mother’s house. Hope they don’t play summer sports or need summer classes or like to go to camps with their friends.

Or maybe they want such a second wife because their ex was a battleaxe careerist and it ruined their marriage, so they yearn for a more traditional feminine homemaker spouse. I mean a breadwinner husband and SAHM is the way it's been done for literally thousands of years, but sure, modern feminists have it all figured out. Which is why every other woman is divorced and addicted to SSRIs.

Incorrect. Open a history book. Women have always worked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: you should have bought a ticket to Thailand this morning. You will do much better there.

If you insist on dating here, date younger. I now realize I was wasting my time with women around my age. I currently have a 26 year old GF, we have been together for three years.

You think she’ll stick around when she’s 56 and you are 76?

When I'm 76 she will be 35.

Do you think she’ll enjoy sleeping with 76 yo you? Does it matter for you when your partner is satisfied and happy or only your need matter ? Do you plan kids (because otherwise she won’t stick around unless you can provide $5m+ in your will for her in current present value).

That’s a very creepy statement. She doesn’t want a child and guys like me don’t have wills, we have trusts.

[Anonymous]

I am a mid 40s woman who has never been married and have several single female friends/never married friends of the same age. all of our male friends are married....where are the single men hiding? not being divorced is a red flag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A guy with kids who promises to start a second family with a new woman should be an automatic 🚩

That guy already is not pulling his weight with his first set of kids. You think he’s going to become more involved with a new kid added to the mix? No way.

Single women should be way more leery of a divorced guy with kids who says he wants more kids. But it doesn’t always work that way unfortunately.

-Married dad

+1. Men or women who want a second family at all are a huge red flag to me. It shows a selfishness that is incompatible with being a good person. It destroys your existing kids.

+1

Esp the ones who keep refusing to get a vasectomy during the first marriage after kids and age 40+.

“Keeping my options open”

No man should get a vasectomy.
No woman should get tied unless there is a real health risk not doing so, which is rare.

Enjoy your dry condoms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did your date actually say she had concerns about your history?

Because it seems far more likely that she just didn't vibe with you for whatever reason.

OP here. Yes I'll agree with you we probably didn't vibe. But when I have been on dates before, I always feel like they think there is something wrong with me because I am single no kids never married at this age. I understand it's part of the vetting process, but it's frustrating nevertheless because there is nothing wrong me I just didn't want to settle in my 30s.

I think there is something wrong with you, but you lack self awareness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of the women are lying when they say that they would prefer a 46 years old man who has never been married and has no kids over a man the same age who is divorced with kids. I have not observed this in the real world, instead it's like there is something wrong with you for being this age and never had a wife and/or kids. Maybe I should have a had a kid out of wedlock in my 20s/30s lol it would have given me more "clout"

Sorry I am just venting this saturday morning. Went to the bar yesterday got rejected, been getting rejected on OLD. In the meantime this guy I know who is recently divorced came with us with his new date.

Luckily we have an anonymous forum we can vent because for us men we can't really share these kind of feelings among us.

I didn’t read any of the responses yet but it 100% depends on who you are trying to meet and how you are meeting them and what you are both looking for. I know a few women with kids who remarried a never been married /no kids guy. In all but one case they met the guy someway other than OLD and in the one case of OLD it turned out they had friends in common but had never met. My friends that have dated the never been married older guy from OLD end up breaking up because either he doesn’t get the family obligations with kids or it’s the Peter Pan type that really doesn’t want to settle down much less in a relationship where the women might only be available to go out 50% of the time at best.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Many of the women are lying when they say that they would prefer a 46 years old man who has never been married and has no kids over a man the same age who is divorced with kids. I have not observed this in the real world, instead it's like there is something wrong with you for being this age and never had a wife and/or kids. Maybe I should have a had a kid out of wedlock in my 20s/30s lol it would have given me more "clout"

Sorry I am just venting this saturday morning. Went to the bar yesterday got rejected, been getting rejected on OLD. In the meantime this guy I know who is recently divorced came with us with his new date.

Luckily we have an anonymous forum we can vent because for us men we can't really share these kind of feelings among us.

Sorry to say you're giving off "the ick" because it's human nature to assume there is something deeply wrong with a man who couldn't get a fiancée, wife, and/or child in 40+ years -- creepy, weird, weak, poor, low status, low virility, outcast, loner, mental illness, whatever the case. Same goes for women. Men naturally assume a gorgeous 40-something woman with no kids and no ex-husband has a screw loose or worse. Will a man sleep with such a woman? Of course. Will a high-status man marry such a woman? Unlikely.

Unless you stumble into money or career success, most men 40+ men without an ex-wife and kids are going to be lucky to end up with a single mom and/or a low status foreigner. That's just reality of the dating landscape at that age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many of the women are lying when they say that they would prefer a 46 years old man who has never been married and has no kids over a man the same age who is divorced with kids. I have not observed this in the real world, instead it's like there is something wrong with you for being this age and never had a wife and/or kids. Maybe I should have a had a kid out of wedlock in my 20s/30s lol it would have given me more "clout"

Sorry I am just venting this saturday morning. Went to the bar yesterday got rejected, been getting rejected on OLD. In the meantime this guy I know who is recently divorced came with us with his new date.

Luckily we have an anonymous forum we can vent because for us men we can't really share these kind of feelings among us.

Sorry to say you're giving off "the ick" because it's human nature to assume there is something deeply wrong with a man who couldn't get a fiancée, wife, and/or child in 40+ years -- creepy, weird, weak, poor, low status, low virility, outcast, loner, mental illness, whatever the case. Same goes for women. Men naturally assume a gorgeous 40-something woman with no kids and no ex-husband has a screw loose or worse. Will a man sleep with such a woman? Of course. Will a high-status man marry such a woman? Unlikely.

Unless you stumble into money or career success, most men 40+ men without an ex-wife and kids are going to be lucky to end up with a single mom and/or a low status foreigner. That's just reality of the dating landscape at that age.

That's projection. The reality is that a handsome, established man in his 40s with no kids is a total catch and can have his pick. Men are in their prime at 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 45-year old with no kids is definitely better than a 45-year old with kids, regardless of gender. Kids are hugely complicating.

Only in theory, on a message board where people like to virtue signal and babble about hypotheticals. In real life this gives men and women the ick and they're going to immediately obsess about what's wrong with you. It's human nature. People who are "catches" don't spend 35 or 40 plus years of their life unmarried without kids. Who are you guys kidding with this nonsense?

No, lots of people have long term relationships now without getting married. It's not 1955
.

It’s not 1995- but 25 years ago it was 2020 and every person I know married. I’m 49 and yes, non marriage - ever would be a red flag for me. I agree with the poster who said no cst h goes unmarried and I agree.