Impressive parents with below average kids

[Anonymous]

^^Not that PP, but boys take longer to mature than girls and maybe he was undiagnosed ADHD? A lot of the “bad” yet intelligent GenX and elder Millennial kids had undiagnosed ADHD and/or LD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^Not that PP, but boys take longer to mature than girls and maybe he was undiagnosed ADHD? A lot of the “bad” yet intelligent GenX and elder Millennial kids had undiagnosed ADHD and/or LD.

That’s an interesting thought. I wonder if the PP knows if those guys were medicated as adults.

[Anonymous]

Rich and successful parents have the ability to put a lot of scaffolding around their mediocre and lower to middle intellect children to ensure that they are at least somewhat successful.

If born to poor parents in Appalachia or Compton these kids would be flipping burgers. But born to prominent or even UMC parents in SF, DC, NYC, Boston, they are shepherded through primary and secondary education with tutors, counselors, accommodations for “learning disabilities”, and coaches. They then secure comfortable if not prestigious careers due to their parent’s social and professional networks. I see it all of the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed many parents we know who are superstars in their fields have average/below average children. The kids are not motivated.

I wonder if they were born less intelligent or it is their upbringing.

We just spent the weekend with a family whose parents are some of the most intelligent kind people we know. Their kids are an absolute disaster in every way possible.

Funny you say this. My mom had a friend who was very educated and well to do who had two nightmares of kids. Horribly horribly behaved in every way. Now one is a neurosurgeon and the other is an anesthesiologist.

I have three siblings. When we were growing up, my dad was a very successful lawyer and my mom was very focused on it, but had her own full time career (with flexibility). We all did well in school, but one of my brothers was VERY mischievous and got into trouble in high school. Many teachers hated him and he was a difficult teenager to parent.

He ended graduating from a top university and is incredibly successful today - we’re all pretty high achieving but he is by far the most successful of us financially. He is in a senior leadership role at a top global financial firm.

One of my uncles was also a really difficult rebellious teen and ended up being a successful anesthesiologist.

NP. Can I ask what you attribute this to? Like how would you explain it? Risk taking tendency? Low self esteem? Or was he just too smart to connect with most kids when he was younger? When did he start to improve where people liked him and he started being more successful? (Especially your brother since I guess you know him best)

^ I’m curious because one of my kids is like this - very smart and a good people person when he wants to be but man he drives us crazy a lot of the time. Seems like ADHD but with more mischief. We’re hoping there’s hope for success!

Mischief? Some of the words people use make me wonder if they grew up on a prairie somewhere where time stood still

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed many parents we know who are superstars in their fields have average/below average children. The kids are not motivated.

I wonder if they were born less intelligent or it is their upbringing.

We just spent the weekend with a family whose parents are some of the most intelligent kind people we know. Their kids are an absolute disaster in every way possible.

Funny you say this. My mom had a friend who was very educated and well to do who had two nightmares of kids. Horribly horribly behaved in every way. Now one is a neurosurgeon and the other is an anesthesiologist.

I have three siblings. When we were growing up, my dad was a very successful lawyer and my mom was very focused on it, but had her own full time career (with flexibility). We all did well in school, but one of my brothers was VERY mischievous and got into trouble in high school. Many teachers hated him and he was a difficult teenager to parent.

He ended graduating from a top university and is incredibly successful today - we’re all pretty high achieving but he is by far the most successful of us financially. He is in a senior leadership role at a top global financial firm.

One of my uncles was also a really difficult rebellious teen and ended up being a successful anesthesiologist.

NP. Can I ask what you attribute this to? Like how would you explain it? Risk taking tendency? Low self esteem? Or was he just too smart to connect with most kids when he was younger? When did he start to improve where people liked him and he started being more successful? (Especially your brother since I guess you know him best)

^ I’m curious because one of my kids is like this - very smart and a good people person when he wants to be but man he drives us crazy a lot of the time. Seems like ADHD but with more mischief. We’re hoping there’s hope for success!

Mischief? Some of the words people use make me wonder if they grew up on a prairie somewhere where time stood still

Haha, we do read a lot of classics! But as an example, he would hide someone’s bracelet that they took off to have a shower. What would you call that, if not mischief? It’s like he can’t help himself. On the other hand, he will run after a stranger to give them something they dropped, just to be helpful. Seems like he’s always bored. He does get top percentile in all of his testing. Maybe he needs more challenge. I wonder if some of the other kids mentioned earlier (annoying as kids but became successful later) may have been similar.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Usually the parents spend more time on their careers than with the children.

All of this. We know several like this in academia and it is very sad for the kids to have to move from continent to continent every year as their parents accumulate prestigious things to put on their CVs. The kids have no friends and very inconsistent schooling. Why do people like this even have kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed many parents we know who are superstars in their fields have average/below average children. The kids are not motivated.

I wonder if they were born less intelligent or it is their upbringing.

We just spent the weekend with a family whose parents are some of the most intelligent kind people we know. Their kids are an absolute disaster in every way possible.

Funny you say this. My mom had a friend who was very educated and well to do who had two nightmares of kids. Horribly horribly behaved in every way. Now one is a neurosurgeon and the other is an anesthesiologist.

I have three siblings. When we were growing up, my dad was a very successful lawyer and my mom was very focused on it, but had her own full time career (with flexibility). We all did well in school, but one of my brothers was VERY mischievous and got into trouble in high school. Many teachers hated him and he was a difficult teenager to parent.

He ended graduating from a top university and is incredibly successful today - we’re all pretty high achieving but he is by far the most successful of us financially. He is in a senior leadership role at a top global financial firm.

One of my uncles was also a really difficult rebellious teen and ended up being a successful anesthesiologist.

NP. Can I ask what you attribute this to? Like how would you explain it? Risk taking tendency? Low self esteem? Or was he just too smart to connect with most kids when he was younger? When did he start to improve where people liked him and he started being more successful? (Especially your brother since I guess you know him best)

^ I’m curious because one of my kids is like this - very smart and a good people person when he wants to be but man he drives us crazy a lot of the time. Seems like ADHD but with more mischief. We’re hoping there’s hope for success!

Mischief? Some of the words people use make me wonder if they grew up on a prairie somewhere where time stood still

It’s a totally normal and appropriate word. Why is your vocabulary so stunted?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^Not that PP, but boys take longer to mature than girls and maybe he was undiagnosed ADHD? A lot of the “bad” yet intelligent GenX and elder Millennial kids had undiagnosed ADHD and/or LD.

There were learning centers for kids with ADHD and learning disabilities going back to the 70s. Ritalin has been used for ADHD since the 60s.

Unless you were living in some back water hole with no running water ADHD and learning disabilities were well known.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Rich and successful parents have the ability to put a lot of scaffolding around their mediocre and lower to middle intellect children to ensure that they are at least somewhat successful.

If born to poor parents in Appalachia or Compton these kids would be flipping burgers. But born to prominent or even UMC parents in SF, DC, NYC, Boston, they are shepherded through primary and secondary education with tutors, counselors, accommodations for “learning disabilities”, and coaches. They then secure comfortable if not prestigious careers due to their parent’s social and professional networks. I see it all of the time.

Yes, there are entire schools built around these very wealthy loser kids. Dumb White Idiots Getting High Together didn't come from nowhere. But private!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rich and successful parents have the ability to put a lot of scaffolding around their mediocre and lower to middle intellect children to ensure that they are at least somewhat successful.

If born to poor parents in Appalachia or Compton these kids would be flipping burgers. But born to prominent or even UMC parents in SF, DC, NYC, Boston, they are shepherded through primary and secondary education with tutors, counselors, accommodations for “learning disabilities”, and coaches. They then secure comfortable if not prestigious careers due to their parent’s social and professional networks. I see it all of the time.

Yes, there are entire schools built around these very wealthy loser kids. Dumb White Idiots Getting High Together didn't come from nowhere. But private!

Not even. Some of the “best” and exclusive private schools in the country have many of these very average kids- no way they would be admitted had their parents not be ultra successful with tons of money. They wouldn’t even make it into local magnet schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed many parents we know who are superstars in their fields have average/below average children. The kids are not motivated.

I wonder if they were born less intelligent or it is their upbringing.

We just spent the weekend with a family whose parents are some of the most intelligent kind people we know. Their kids are an absolute disaster in every way possible.

Funny you say this. My mom had a friend who was very educated and well to do who had two nightmares of kids. Horribly horribly behaved in every way. Now one is a neurosurgeon and the other is an anesthesiologist.

I have three siblings. When we were growing up, my dad was a very successful lawyer and my mom was very focused on it, but had her own full time career (with flexibility). We all did well in school, but one of my brothers was VERY mischievous and got into trouble in high school. Many teachers hated him and he was a difficult teenager to parent.

He ended graduating from a top university and is incredibly successful today - we’re all pretty high achieving but he is by far the most successful of us financially. He is in a senior leadership role at a top global financial firm.

One of my uncles was also a really difficult rebellious teen and ended up being a successful anesthesiologist.

NP. Can I ask what you attribute this to? Like how would you explain it? Risk taking tendency? Low self esteem? Or was he just too smart to connect with most kids when he was younger? When did he start to improve where people liked him and he started being more successful? (Especially your brother since I guess you know him best)

I honestly have no idea! He just came out mischievous. He was always tinkering with things as a toddler and getting into trouble. He had no social issues, was completely neurotypical, but just his personality has always been testing boundaries. My parents channeled that energy into sports as much as possible for him, and always had him in structured programs to remain out of as much trouble as possible. Fortunately he was a good student -even if he infuriated teachers - and he had some drive in college to achieve and start taking on prestigious degrees and internships which led him from one thing to the next. He is a risk taker for sure and combined with his high intelligence it has helped him achieve. All to say, he got into some serious trouble as a teenager but thankfully he turned out great. He was super challenging to parent but I have great parents who did everything they could. Gave him opportunities, put him in therapy, consulted with psychologists on how to parent him, made sure they were doing everything they can so he did well in school etc. and were present with us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have noticed many parents we know who are superstars in their fields have average/below average children. The kids are not motivated.

I wonder if they were born less intelligent or it is their upbringing.

We just spent the weekend with a family whose parents are some of the most intelligent kind people we know. Their kids are an absolute disaster in every way possible.

Funny you say this. My mom had a friend who was very educated and well to do who had two nightmares of kids. Horribly horribly behaved in every way. Now one is a neurosurgeon and the other is an anesthesiologist.

I have three siblings. When we were growing up, my dad was a very successful lawyer and my mom was very focused on it, but had her own full time career (with flexibility). We all did well in school, but one of my brothers was VERY mischievous and got into trouble in high school. Many teachers hated him and he was a difficult teenager to parent.

He ended graduating from a top university and is incredibly successful today - we’re all pretty high achieving but he is by far the most successful of us financially. He is in a senior leadership role at a top global financial firm.

One of my uncles was also a really difficult rebellious teen and ended up being a successful anesthesiologist.

NP. Can I ask what you attribute this to? Like how would you explain it? Risk taking tendency? Low self esteem? Or was he just too smart to connect with most kids when he was younger? When did he start to improve where people liked him and he started being more successful? (Especially your brother since I guess you know him best)

I honestly have no idea! He just came out mischievous. He was always tinkering with things as a toddler and getting into trouble. He had no social issues, was completely neurotypical, but just his personality has always been testing boundaries. My parents channeled that energy into sports as much as possible for him, and always had him in structured programs to remain out of as much trouble as possible. Fortunately he was a good student -even if he infuriated teachers - and he had some drive in college to achieve and start taking on prestigious degrees and internships which led him from one thing to the next. He is a risk taker for sure and combined with his high intelligence it has helped him achieve. All to say, he got into some serious trouble as a teenager but thankfully he turned out great. He was super challenging to parent but I have great parents who did everything they could. Gave him opportunities, put him in therapy, consulted with psychologists on how to parent him, made sure they were doing everything they can so he did well in school etc. and were present with us.

I’m also going to add that an element of it is luck. Plenty of great parents have challenging kids who aren’t able to turn around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^Not that PP, but boys take longer to mature than girls and maybe he was undiagnosed ADHD? A lot of the “bad” yet intelligent GenX and elder Millennial kids had undiagnosed ADHD and/or LD.

There were learning centers for kids with ADHD and learning disabilities going back to the 70s. Ritalin has been used for ADHD since the 60s.

Unless you were living in some back water hole with no running water ADHD and learning disabilities were well known.

It’s also well-known that kids went undiagnosed and untreated far more frequently than they do now.

[Anonymous]

Gentle parenting

[Anonymous]

Impressive = they have more material things: large house, multiple expensive cars.

We judge success by income.

If your children do not have many material possessions, they really are not very impressive; don’t you agree ?