Judgement and stares in public with a big family - a vent

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having seven kids is an imposition on other people. Everywhere you go, your family takes up too much space. Yes -- too much space. You go to a restaurant and you need them to put three table together just for your one family. You go to the pool or beach and you take up too much real estate and smaller families can't find space. You take up too much space walking down the street.

When people say things like "wow, how do you do it?" or "gosh, so many kids!" That is actually them being polite. They are suppressing what they actually want to say, which is that they think it was dumb and selfish of you to have that many kids and then to expect the whole world to accommodate your huge family. It's not 1950 anymore. None of your kids is dying of typhus and you didn't need to create a workforce to maintain the family farm.

You better find a way to deal with the comments and the looks because you will be getting them until all your kids are grown and gone.

Come on that’s silly. Two families of 3 kids each would take up just as much space at the beach. In fact, more. And you wouldn’t be saying anything about that.

Two families with three is totally different. More parents per child, tighter age gap within each family. Those families are not going to impose as much on the people around them because the kids are going to get what they need from their parents. They won't need special accommodations most places, and they won't expect it because they have a more typical family size.

A family with seven kids is an actual burden in the people around them. When I encounter families like this in public spaces, it's harder to move or get around them, they are louder, it's more stressful. Even if the kids are reasonably well behaved. It's just too many people for a nuclear family. If you want to do this, expect people to be aggravated with you a lot. You've done an annoying, selfish thing.

This is nuts. You are a crazy selfish person if you can’t handle navigating around a large family when out in public. That’s a burden to you?

Selfish is the person who produced so many kids that they will consume the same resources as 5 other families. The planet can’t sustain every family having that many kids so what gives OP the right to take more resources than their fair share?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having seven kids is an imposition on other people. Everywhere you go, your family takes up too much space. Yes -- too much space. You go to a restaurant and you need them to put three table together just for your one family. You go to the pool or beach and you take up too much real estate and smaller families can't find space. You take up too much space walking down the street.

When people say things like "wow, how do you do it?" or "gosh, so many kids!" That is actually them being polite. They are suppressing what they actually want to say, which is that they think it was dumb and selfish of you to have that many kids and then to expect the whole world to accommodate your huge family. It's not 1950 anymore. None of your kids is dying of typhus and you didn't need to create a workforce to maintain the family farm.

You better find a way to deal with the comments and the looks because you will be getting them until all your kids are grown and gone.

Come on that’s silly. Two families of 3 kids each would take up just as much space at the beach. In fact, more. And you wouldn’t be saying anything about that.

Two families with three is totally different. More parents per child, tighter age gap within each family. Those families are not going to impose as much on the people around them because the kids are going to get what they need from their parents. They won't need special accommodations most places, and they won't expect it because they have a more typical family size.

A family with seven kids is an actual burden in the people around them. When I encounter families like this in public spaces, it's harder to move or get around them, they are louder, it's more stressful. Even if the kids are reasonably well behaved. It's just too many people for a nuclear family. If you want to do this, expect people to be aggravated with you a lot. You've done an annoying, selfish thing.

This is nuts. You are a crazy selfish person if you can’t handle navigating around a large family when out in public. That’s a burden to you?

Selfish is the person who produced so many kids that they will consume the same resources as 5 other families. The planet can’t sustain every family having that many kids so what gives OP the right to take more resources than their fair share?

They are nine people living in the same house and sharing resources. Why would that be better split into two or three families with people in multiple houses with three times as many cars?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having seven kids is an imposition on other people. Everywhere you go, your family takes up too much space. Yes -- too much space. You go to a restaurant and you need them to put three table together just for your one family. You go to the pool or beach and you take up too much real estate and smaller families can't find space. You take up too much space walking down the street.

When people say things like "wow, how do you do it?" or "gosh, so many kids!" That is actually them being polite. They are suppressing what they actually want to say, which is that they think it was dumb and selfish of you to have that many kids and then to expect the whole world to accommodate your huge family. It's not 1950 anymore. None of your kids is dying of typhus and you didn't need to create a workforce to maintain the family farm.

You better find a way to deal with the comments and the looks because you will be getting them until all your kids are grown and gone.

Come on that’s silly. Two families of 3 kids each would take up just as much space at the beach. In fact, more. And you wouldn’t be saying anything about that.

Two families with three is totally different. More parents per child, tighter age gap within each family. Those families are not going to impose as much on the people around them because the kids are going to get what they need from their parents. They won't need special accommodations most places, and they won't expect it because they have a more typical family size.

A family with seven kids is an actual burden in the people around them. When I encounter families like this in public spaces, it's harder to move or get around them, they are louder, it's more stressful. Even if the kids are reasonably well behaved. It's just too many people for a nuclear family. If you want to do this, expect people to be aggravated with you a lot. You've done an annoying, selfish thing.

This is nuts. You are a crazy selfish person if you can’t handle navigating around a large family when out in public. That’s a burden to you?

Selfish is the person who produced so many kids that they will consume the same resources as 5 other families. The planet can’t sustain every family having that many kids so what gives OP the right to take more resources than their fair share?

Literally the worst argument.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I have a friend with 5 kids. They get looks and comments.

"Are they all yours?"

Her response "No I kidnapped a few."

LOL! Perfect answer!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having seven kids is an imposition on other people. Everywhere you go, your family takes up too much space. Yes -- too much space. You go to a restaurant and you need them to put three table together just for your one family. You go to the pool or beach and you take up too much real estate and smaller families can't find space. You take up too much space walking down the street.

When people say things like "wow, how do you do it?" or "gosh, so many kids!" That is actually them being polite. They are suppressing what they actually want to say, which is that they think it was dumb and selfish of you to have that many kids and then to expect the whole world to accommodate your huge family. It's not 1950 anymore. None of your kids is dying of typhus and you didn't need to create a workforce to maintain the family farm.

You better find a way to deal with the comments and the looks because you will be getting them until all your kids are grown and gone.

Come on that’s silly. Two families of 3 kids each would take up just as much space at the beach. In fact, more. And you wouldn’t be saying anything about that.

Two families with three is totally different. More parents per child, tighter age gap within each family. Those families are not going to impose as much on the people around them because the kids are going to get what they need from their parents. They won't need special accommodations most places, and they won't expect it because they have a more typical family size.

A family with seven kids is an actual burden in the people around them. When I encounter families like this in public spaces, it's harder to move or get around them, they are louder, it's more stressful. Even if the kids are reasonably well behaved. It's just too many people for a nuclear family. If you want to do this, expect people to be aggravated with you a lot. You've done an annoying, selfish thing.

Ths is such a weir dfixation, how much space a family takes up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3DC. I used to get comments asking if they were all mine, one must look like dad, or just “big family - you don’t see that anymore!”

Ha! I have four. Someone asked me once if DH and I needed a television for our bedroom.

I don't get it - what does that have to do with a large family (and 3 kids are pretty common?)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're not babies.

Definitely not babies.

[Anonymous]

Lady, it’s a vagina, not a clown car.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having seven kids is an imposition on other people. Everywhere you go, your family takes up too much space. Yes -- too much space. You go to a restaurant and you need them to put three table together just for your one family. You go to the pool or beach and you take up too much real estate and smaller families can't find space. You take up too much space walking down the street.

When people say things like "wow, how do you do it?" or "gosh, so many kids!" That is actually them being polite. They are suppressing what they actually want to say, which is that they think it was dumb and selfish of you to have that many kids and then to expect the whole world to accommodate your huge family. It's not 1950 anymore. None of your kids is dying of typhus and you didn't need to create a workforce to maintain the family farm.

You better find a way to deal with the comments and the looks because you will be getting them until all your kids are grown and gone.

Come on that’s silly. Two families of 3 kids each would take up just as much space at the beach. In fact, more. And you wouldn’t be saying anything about that.

Two families with three is totally different. More parents per child, tighter age gap within each family. Those families are not going to impose as much on the people around them because the kids are going to get what they need from their parents. They won't need special accommodations most places, and they won't expect it because they have a more typical family size.

A family with seven kids is an actual burden in the people around them. When I encounter families like this in public spaces, it's harder to move or get around them, they are louder, it's more stressful. Even if the kids are reasonably well behaved. It's just too many people for a nuclear family. If you want to do this, expect people to be aggravated with you a lot. You've done an annoying, selfish thing.

This is nuts. You are a crazy selfish person if you can’t handle navigating around a large family when out in public. That’s a burden to you?

Selfish is the person who produced so many kids that they will consume the same resources as 5 other families. The planet can’t sustain every family having that many kids so what gives OP the right to take more resources than their fair share?

They are nine people living in the same house and sharing resources. Why would that be better split into two or three families with people in multiple houses with three times as many cars?

Because that is a false comparison. Not every family has a car and not every family has a house. Wealthy people consume more resources than the poor so to take and already over consuming family an then grow it to such an absurd size is nothing but selfish. It’s not right to do to the kids or the community. It’s only for the satisfaction of the parents. Selfish.

[Anonymous]

The only time I'm staring down large families is when their kids are out of control in public. Do what you want but when you have way more kids than the norm you need methods of keeping things under control in public. To be fair though I feel that way regardless of the number of children a family has. It's just been my experience, particularly with seemingly homeschooling families, that parents have large numbers of kids and bring them in public and expect that other people are going to help parent them and/or put up with their "gentle" permissive/lazy parenting.

[Anonymous]

Your DNA isn’t so special that you needed to procreate enough to populate a small school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having seven kids is an imposition on other people. Everywhere you go, your family takes up too much space. Yes -- too much space. You go to a restaurant and you need them to put three table together just for your one family. You go to the pool or beach and you take up too much real estate and smaller families can't find space. You take up too much space walking down the street.

When people say things like "wow, how do you do it?" or "gosh, so many kids!" That is actually them being polite. They are suppressing what they actually want to say, which is that they think it was dumb and selfish of you to have that many kids and then to expect the whole world to accommodate your huge family. It's not 1950 anymore. None of your kids is dying of typhus and you didn't need to create a workforce to maintain the family farm.

You better find a way to deal with the comments and the looks because you will be getting them until all your kids are grown and gone.

Come on that’s silly. Two families of 3 kids each would take up just as much space at the beach. In fact, more. And you wouldn’t be saying anything about that.

Two families with three is totally different. More parents per child, tighter age gap within each family. Those families are not going to impose as much on the people around them because the kids are going to get what they need from their parents. They won't need special accommodations most places, and they won't expect it because they have a more typical family size.

A family with seven kids is an actual burden in the people around them. When I encounter families like this in public spaces, it's harder to move or get around them, they are louder, it's more stressful. Even if the kids are reasonably well behaved. It's just too many people for a nuclear family. If you want to do this, expect people to be aggravated with you a lot. You've done an annoying, selfish thing.

This is nuts. You are a crazy selfish person if you can’t handle navigating around a large family when out in public. That’s a burden to you?

Selfish is the person who produced so many kids that they will consume the same resources as 5 other families. The planet can’t sustain every family having that many kids so what gives OP the right to take more resources than their fair share?

They are nine people living in the same house and sharing resources. Why would that be better split into two or three families with people in multiple houses with three times as many cars?

Because that is a false comparison. Not every family has a car and not every family has a house. Wealthy people consume more resources than the poor so to take and already over consuming family a then grow it to such an absurd size is nothing but selfish. It’s not right to do to the kids or the community. It’s only for the satisfaction of the parents. Selfish.

I’m sure everyone who lives in a house larger than 1500 sq ft asks themselves if it’s for their satisfaction or the community’s. /s/

This isn’t a communist country yet. Get over it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 7 babies. 4 DD’s ages 4,9,12,17 and 3 DS’s ages 7,13 & 15 and one thing that really bothers me is comments in public when we’re all out about how many kids we have, about how we do it, why we had that many, etc. We’ve gotten a lot of rude comments and looks. It’s summer now so we get more. I know it’s expected and most people are curious and don’t mean any harm but it’s really annoying and feels invasive. We’re just a typical UMC family, not rich or anything, and have just had a bit more kids than most others.

No I came from a family like this

You are selfish and a shitty parent.
You had more kids so you could use the older ones as help in your house for cleaning and baby

You won’t have enough for everyone to go to college and you don’t have enough time in your day fir their emotional needs

You are a selfish pos morally bankrupt

[Anonymous]

Wow - who'd of thought there'd be so much vitriol? I wouldn't do it (the 3 we have just about did me in physically in the younger years and emotionally during the teenage years), but I don't care what other families do. I can't imagine paying for 7 sets of braces, 7 sets of summer camp, 7 sets of college education, etc., but good for you!

It is unusual, which is why people stare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having seven kids is an imposition on other people. Everywhere you go, your family takes up too much space. Yes -- too much space. You go to a restaurant and you need them to put three table together just for your one family. You go to the pool or beach and you take up too much real estate and smaller families can't find space. You take up too much space walking down the street.

When people say things like "wow, how do you do it?" or "gosh, so many kids!" That is actually them being polite. They are suppressing what they actually want to say, which is that they think it was dumb and selfish of you to have that many kids and then to expect the whole world to accommodate your huge family. It's not 1950 anymore. None of your kids is dying of typhus and you didn't need to create a workforce to maintain the family farm.

You better find a way to deal with the comments and the looks because you will be getting them until all your kids are grown and gone.

Come on that’s silly. Two families of 3 kids each would take up just as much space at the beach. In fact, more. And you wouldn’t be saying anything about that.

Two families with three is totally different. More parents per child, tighter age gap within each family. Those families are not going to impose as much on the people around them because the kids are going to get what they need from their parents. They won't need special accommodations most places, and they won't expect it because they have a more typical family size.

A family with seven kids is an actual burden in the people around them. When I encounter families like this in public spaces, it's harder to move or get around them, they are louder, it's more stressful. Even if the kids are reasonably well behaved. It's just too many people for a nuclear family. If you want to do this, expect people to be aggravated with you a lot. You've done an annoying, selfish thing.

This is nuts. You are a crazy selfish person if you can’t handle navigating around a large family when out in public. That’s a burden to you?

Selfish is the person who produced so many kids that they will consume the same resources as 5 other families. The planet can’t sustain every family having that many kids so what gives OP the right to take more resources than their fair share?

Using that logic, no one should have any kids.
And how do you get using the same resources as 5 other families? Are you only allowing 1 child per family?