Judgement and stares in public with a big family - a vent

[Anonymous]

Why are there so many troll threads these days?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:UMC cannot afford that many kids easily. People are more annoyed when you dump your kids on them especially for rides.

This and that you make the older ones help with the younger ones.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll never understand people who make conscious decisions then lack any confidence to live out those decisions. Like why do you care what people think?

Exactly.
OP knows the choice to have seven was outside the norm. Not that she doesn’t have that right or that there is anything wrong with it, but to pretend she has no idea that this is unusual is disingenuous.
This is like a lady with pink hair and tattoos feigning embarrassment when people look her way as she enters a room. Please.
And maybe people shouldn’t stare. But you literally created and cultivated the circumstance that makes you stand apart from the standard, so why the act of pretending to be annoyed by the attention?

This is how I feel about the whole scenario.

[Anonymous]

Why are you so worried about what people think about you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t worry about all of us. We are just in awe at how you can handle such a big beautiful family and I loose my sh!t sometimes with two!

You’re doing great! Don’t second guess us!
Happy Summer!

Don't speak for others. We are not all in awe of that.

But I know how to keep my thoughts to myself. It's a free country. Have an 8th kid if you want, OP.

Another +1 to speak for yourself, first pp. I am not in awe of 7 kids and I don't "loose" (or did you mean "lose"?) my shit with my child. good try though.

OP it's weird to have that many kids. People are going to look at you. Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 7 babies. 4 DD’s ages 4,9,12,17 and 3 DS’s ages 7,13 & 15 and one thing that really bothers me is comments in public when we’re all out about how many kids we have, about how we do it, why we had that many, etc. We’ve gotten a lot of rude comments and looks. It’s summer now so we get more. I know it’s expected and most people are curious and don’t mean any harm but it’s really annoying and feels invasive. We’re just a typical UMC family, not rich or anything, and have just had a bit more kids than most others.

Oh come on, you knew EXACTLY what you were doing. Don’t play victim. It’s annoying.

[Anonymous]

Unusual things attract attention and your family is unusual. Commenting can be rude of course but I don’t think “are they all yours” is I inherently rude— when I have my nieces out with my daughter people ask the same thing about 3 and it’s never occurred to be to be offended.

The sad fact is OP, the people staring at you are worried. They think you’re being exploited, that your children are being neglected, that you’re parentifying the oldest and barely noticing the youngest, they think your kids aren’t vaccinated and may spread serious illnesses or they think they may proselytize to their kids on the playground, and they worry your kids are being sexually abused. That’s because the most famous people with families like yours, the ones who got TV shows and spinoffs and endless attention, turned out to be really bad people.

[Anonymous]

You aren’t typical so that’s why the states. Just keep moving on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having seven kids is an imposition on other people. Everywhere you go, your family takes up too much space. Yes -- too much space. You go to a restaurant and you need them to put three table together just for your one family. You go to the pool or beach and you take up too much real estate and smaller families can't find space. You take up too much space walking down the street.

When people say things like "wow, how do you do it?" or "gosh, so many kids!" That is actually them being polite. They are suppressing what they actually want to say, which is that they think it was dumb and selfish of you to have that many kids and then to expect the whole world to accommodate your huge family. It's not 1950 anymore. None of your kids is dying of typhus and you didn't need to create a workforce to maintain the family farm.

You better find a way to deal with the comments and the looks because you will be getting them until all your kids are grown and gone.

Come on that’s silly. Two families of 3 kids each would take up just as much space at the beach. In fact, more. And you wouldn’t be saying anything about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 7 babies. 4 DD’s ages 4,9,12,17 and 3 DS’s ages 7,13 & 15 and one thing that really bothers me is comments in public when we’re all out about how many kids we have, about how we do it, why we had that many, etc. We’ve gotten a lot of rude comments and looks. It’s summer now so we get more. I know it’s expected and most people are curious and don’t mean any harm but it’s really annoying and feels invasive. We’re just a typical UMC family, not rich or anything, and have just had a bit more kids than most others.

Move to Utah.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 7 babies. 4 DD’s ages 4,9,12,17 and 3 DS’s ages 7,13 & 15 and one thing that really bothers me is comments in public when we’re all out about how many kids we have, about how we do it, why we had that many, etc. We’ve gotten a lot of rude comments and looks. It’s summer now so we get more. I know it’s expected and most people are curious and don’t mean any harm but it’s really annoying and feels invasive. We’re just a typical UMC family, not rich or anything, and have just had a bit more kids than most others.

I’m staring with mildly horrified fascination and thanking my lucky stars I’m not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Having seven kids is an imposition on other people. Everywhere you go, your family takes up too much space. Yes -- too much space. You go to a restaurant and you need them to put three table together just for your one family. You go to the pool or beach and you take up too much real estate and smaller families can't find space. You take up too much space walking down the street.

When people say things like "wow, how do you do it?" or "gosh, so many kids!" That is actually them being polite. They are suppressing what they actually want to say, which is that they think it was dumb and selfish of you to have that many kids and then to expect the whole world to accommodate your huge family. It's not 1950 anymore. None of your kids is dying of typhus and you didn't need to create a workforce to maintain the family farm.

You better find a way to deal with the comments and the looks because you will be getting them until all your kids are grown and gone.

Come on that’s silly. Two families of 3 kids each would take up just as much space at the beach. In fact, more. And you wouldn’t be saying anything about that.

Np. The point being made is whereas two or more families could be serviced, only one is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 7 babies. 4 DD’s ages 4,9,12,17 and 3 DS’s ages 7,13 & 15 and one thing that really bothers me is comments in public when we’re all out about how many kids we have, about how we do it, why we had that many, etc. We’ve gotten a lot of rude comments and looks. It’s summer now so we get more. I know it’s expected and most people are curious and don’t mean any harm but it’s really annoying and feels invasive. We’re just a typical UMC family, not rich or anything, and have just had a bit more kids than most others.

I’m staring with mildly horrified fascination and thanking my lucky stars I’m not you.

Seriously. How do you keep everyone fed? Someone must be hungry, not everyone can get as much as they need with 9 people to feed at every meal. Is the dishwasher going constantly? The laundry? How do you make it to the kid’s back to school nights? How do they get to sports/activity practice?

[Anonymous]

No one cares about. your clown car vagina except you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think it’s selfish to have 7 kids. Some people really like big families. It’s just not culturally normal at this place in time.

I also think people who have that many kids exist in every income bracket. Many of us feel like we can’t “afford” another child but in reality that’s a comment on our expected standard of living. That’s absolutely okay but not everyone has the same values or will make the same choice.

Doing something just because you like it, without considering the implications of your actions or the impact on others, is literally the definition of selfish.