Differences in gender roles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

Oh, please! My mother had a very successful career and was a great mother. What really helped is that my father was very supportive of her doing what she wanted to do. He knew what her priorities were and trusted her. She made some mid career pivots that slowed her career but were best for the family.

Exactly. You are lying to yourself if you think there are no consequences to prioritizing your career. A lot of these women chasing these jobs are unattractive to men because it usually boils down to ego and proving that you're "somebody." Hard pass for must guys.

I would encourage women to take a hard pass on that kind of guy. You guys are going extinct.

Thank god! So tired of these red pill incels.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who isn't somewhat traditional in approaching life and too interested in what his wife brings in marriage as her own income potential or inherited wealth is a male equivalent of gold digger, wouldn't be a good partner or provider.

Not everyone wants to do all the house work, childcare and be treated like a sex doll. Progressive men make much better partners and parents.

It’s sad that's your only experience of a traditional family. Both my parents were traditional and middle class so he busted his chops to provide and she into managing the family front. He was also her assistant on weekends and helped in every way possible. However, with his schedule, he wasn't able to do much after full day job and long commute on public transport.

So he was a workaholic who was never around.

Great dad! Great husband! Gmafb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being traditional doesn't mean he wants you to leave work to cook and clean but may be he still wants you to manage hired help or be a loving partner and an involved mom who prioritizes family, not a stressed workaholic witch playing tit for tat 24/7 and throwing divorce threats at every argument. You wouldn't want a man like that either. Marriage is a traditional partnership, not no threads attached shack up.

Why can't he manage it? Oh, that's right. That would not be "traditional".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who isn't somewhat traditional in approaching life and too interested in what his wife brings in marriage as her own income potential or inherited wealth is a male equivalent of gold digger, wouldn't be a good partner or provider.

Not everyone wants to do all the house work, childcare and be treated like a sex doll. Progressive men make much better partners and parents.

Its sad that's your only experience of a traditional family. Both my parents were traditional and middle class so he busted his chops to provide and she into managing the family front. He was also her assistant on weekends and helped in every way possible. However, with his schedule, he wasn't able to do much after full day job and long commute on public transport.

Sounds like the type of dad to say he babysits his own kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who isn't somewhat traditional in approaching life and too interested in what his wife brings in marriage as her own income potential or inherited wealth is a male equivalent of gold digger, wouldn't be a good partner or provider.

Not everyone wants to do all the house work, childcare and be treated like a sex doll. Progressive men make much better partners and parents.

It’s sad that's your only experience of a traditional family. Both my parents were traditional and middle class so he busted his chops to provide and she into managing the family front. He was also her assistant on weekends and helped in every way possible. However, with his schedule, he wasn't able to do much after full day job and long commute on public transport.

So he was a workaholic who was never around.

Great dad! Great husband! Gmafb.

It wasn't workaholism but lack of jobs in town and having to do 3.5 hr commute every day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Any man who isn't somewhat traditional in approaching life and too interested in what his wife brings in marriage as her own income potential or inherited wealth is a male equivalent of gold digger, wouldn't be a good partner or provider.

Not everyone wants to do all the house work, childcare and be treated like a sex doll. Progressive men make much better partners and parents.

Its sad that's your only experience of a traditional family. Both my parents were traditional and middle class so he busted his chops to provide and she into managing the family front. He was also her assistant on weekends and helped in every way possible. However, with his schedule, he wasn't able to do much after full day job and long commute on public transport.

Sounds like the type of dad to say he babysits his own kids.

Just like parents whose kids are with babysitters or at daycare most of the waking hours yet they claim to raise them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being traditional doesn't mean he wants you to leave work to cook and clean but may be he still wants you to manage hired help or be a loving partner and an involved mom who prioritizes family, not a stressed workaholic witch playing tit for tat 24/7 and throwing divorce threats at every argument. You wouldn't want a man like that either. Marriage is a traditional partnership, not no threads attached shack up.

Why can't he manage it? Oh, that's right. That would not be "traditional".

Well, may he because he'll manage all the traditional dad work to pick and drop at school, sports activities, dinner dishes, evening story and tuck in, yard care, maintaining cars, repairs, BBQ, weekend breakfast, furniture assembly and deep cleaning with mom etc etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being traditional doesn't mean he wants you to leave work to cook and clean but may be he still wants you to manage hired help or be a loving partner and an involved mom who prioritizes family, not a stressed workaholic witch playing tit for tat 24/7 and throwing divorce threats at every argument. You wouldn't want a man like that either. Marriage is a traditional partnership, not no threads attached shack up.

Why can't he manage it? Oh, that's right. That would not be "traditional".

Well, may he because he'll manage all the traditional dad work to pick and drop at school, sports activities, dinner dishes, evening story and tuck in, yard care, maintaining cars, repairs, BBQ, weekend breakfast, furniture assembly and deep cleaning with mom etc etc.

Is that a joke? How is kid drop off/pick up a traditional male activity? If dad’s off working 22h days he’s clearly not available for the kids during school hours. Dishes? Yeah right, mom already loaded the dishwasher. Evening story? Only if they are home in time for bed time. Yard care is what, once a week or two? Car maintenance once a quarter max. Furniture assembly? Once a year at most?!
Hilarious that men always fluff up their “tasks” that are so few and far between. These things take up like 1 day a year.

If all you contribute is a pay check, you can do that with or without seeing your family (child support).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

Oh, please! My mother had a very successful career and was a great mother. What really helped is that my father was very supportive of her doing what she wanted to do. He knew what her priorities were and trusted her. She made some mid career pivots that slowed her career but were best for the family.

Exactly. You are lying to yourself if you think there are no consequences to prioritizing your career. A lot of these women chasing these jobs are unattractive to men because it usually boils down to ego and proving that you're "somebody." Hard pass for must guys.

Except that women with college degrees and more are more likely to married and less likely to be divorced. So ambitious women are more likely to be married and stay married.

Those same women who are most married are also most likely to mommy-track. It is what it is.

So highly educated women are more likely to be married and then mommy track.

Logic doesn't follow. People on this board are claiming ambitious educated women can't find men, except, stats show these women are more likely to be married. You can claim a "mommy track" is a less ambitious doctor or lawyer, but that woman is still a doctor or lawyer, not a stay at home traditional mom.

Just pointing out people telling women they have to want to be SAHM to be married and have kids isn't supported by data.

But OP says her boyfriend basically expects her to mommy-track, versus following her career ambitions as far as they go. He isn’t asking her to SAHM necessarily. I would think it’s the highly-ambitious women who are unwilling to let their career take the backseat to her duties as wife and mother that find it hard to find a man.

[Anonymous]

If you can earn significantly more than your husband, he fan daddy-track.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My boyfriend and I have a beautiful connection. both of us are marriage minded. There is one issue that’s giving me pause and I’d like to know what others think.

I am ambitious and probably make a little more than him. He is somewhat traditional on gender roles. he doesn’t want me to work long hours, and I get the feeling he does not want me to climb the corporate ladder.

I’ve told him in marriage I’d compromise on long hours. But I have this feeling he may generally speaking resent me for being ambitious down the road. I have no plans of stopping being career driven though I can dial back hours.

Everything else is golden between us. Thoughts?

Couples therapy.

You both owe it to yourselves to explore this. What is "somewhat traditional on gender roles"? That could mean anything from really wanting you to take his last name to expecting you to do all of the housework and quit your job to be a SAHM. You should figure this out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Times of SAHM are gone, having it all is unlikely, flexible yet lucrative jobs are the easier route.

I am a SAHM and have it all. My husband is incredible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would you marry someone who doesn’t want you to succeed to your fullest?
For you to be your best self?
He’s a non confident shit move on.

That is the issue. Some people don't see climbing the corporate ladder as a measure of success. No one's tombstone reads "Larlo was the best CFO" and the odds of any one of your coworkers showing up at your funeral 25 years later is slim to none. Work is a mean's to an end not a measurement of importance or self worth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You cannot be a good mother and have a career. Sounds like you both have different priorities and it will never work.

YOU can't but I can.

I'm a lawyer and a mom, my coworkers are mostly lawyers and parents. My kid's doing great at school, I manage my schedule so we spend lots of time together. You can manage to do these things and anyone who claims it's impossible has an agenda.

I don’t know, pp.
I’m a doctor and a mom, but I have a job, not the big career I thought I would. I couldn’t have a career and be a good primary caretaker to my kids.

My dentist only works from 9-2 Monday through Thursday so she can be there for her school aged kids. I always thought that was a pretty good schedule!

Yeah. This is kind of what I do. I wouldn’t say that I’m making big advances in my field or climbing the ladder. It’s just a job.

[Anonymous]

Which one of you planning on getting pregnant? If no agreement then just hire a surrogate and a live in nanny to outsource whole thing. Parenting isn't what its cracked up to be, your corporation needs you more and compensates you well.