Differences in gender roles

[Anonymous]

If a couple wants a good marriage, stable home and happy kids, what's wrong with one or both to parent-track their career for child bearing and rearing years?

[Anonymous]

If both very ambitious, skip children or just have one so you can take turns parent tracking careers for couple of years before kid can be schooled and after schooled without many isdues.

[Anonymous]

Easier to let him find his type and you try to your type. Worst case, you'll regret letting each other go but eventually would find success is ambition or marriage or both or none.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a couple wants a good marriage, stable home and happy kids, what's wrong with one or both to parent-track their career for child bearing and rearing years?

nothing, but the BF wants OP to, but OP doesn't. Hence why this relationship won't work out well once the kids come.

Even before kids, I bet he will be the type who will expect OP to have dinner ready.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never give up a career because of what a guy thinks about it. I’ve seen too many women give it up, and 15 years/3 kids down the road, the H bails for someone younger and more exciting. Or in my case, my H wanted a wife who did all the cooking and cleaning yet refused to advance his career to make that a reality and basically wanted us to live in poverty.

Talk to more women 40-50+ so you can see what really happens in marriages. They all recommend putting yourself and your money first.

Yes talk to older women!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.

I will fully admit I have one of those made up, meaningless jobs (although it pays quite well).

I do it because it makes me happy. I like the mental stimulation. I like having lots of money and being able to buy nice things. I like having things to do besides raise kids. If all I did was care for my H and kids all day, I’d be completely miserable.

Women don’t need to justify working. If you want to work, work. Your kids will be fine. It’s far better to have a happy mom than a mom who hovers over them 24/7.

Its not great to have a happy but unavailable mom. Kids need balance not a happy mum who rather spends most waking hours at work, shopping and at social occasions to display her shopped goods.

Funny how no one says that about dads 🧐

If they aren't working to pay bills but just for fancy clothes and social activity, everyone says that loudly.

So.. golfers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the point is most jobs are just made up. They don't actually matter. It doesn't matter how well you do them, because it's meaningless.

I will fully admit I have one of those made up, meaningless jobs (although it pays quite well).

I do it because it makes me happy. I like the mental stimulation. I like having lots of money and being able to buy nice things. I like having things to do besides raise kids. If all I did was care for my H and kids all day, I’d be completely miserable.

Women don’t need to justify working. If you want to work, work. Your kids will be fine. It’s far better to have a happy mom than a mom who hovers over them 24/7.

Its not great to have a happy but unavailable mom. Kids need balance not a happy mum who rather spends most waking hours at work, shopping and at social occasions to display her shopped goods.

Funny how no one says that about dads 🧐

If they aren't working to pay bills but just for fancy clothes and social activity, everyone says that loudly.

No, definitely not everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a couple wants a good marriage, stable home and happy kids, what's wrong with one or both to parent-track their career for child bearing and rearing years?

Sure. In OPs case her DH needs to be the parent-tracked one. This guy probably won’t make enough to be the breadwinner and NEEDS ops income but is too insecure to be the main parent of his own child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple wants a good marriage, stable home and happy kids, what's wrong with one or both to parent-track their career for child bearing and rearing years?

nothing, but the BF wants OP to, but OP doesn't. Hence why this relationship won't work out well once the kids come.

Even before kids, I bet he will be the type who will expect OP to have dinner ready.

I won't mind making an extra serving of dinner if I'm making mine anyways. He can wash the dishes or wash my car so we both win.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple wants a good marriage, stable home and happy kids, what's wrong with one or both to parent-track their career for child bearing and rearing years?

Sure. In OPs case her DH needs to be the parent-tracked one. This guy probably won’t make enough to be the breadwinner and NEEDS ops income but is too insecure to be the main parent of his own child.

Why would you assume that? She said she makes a little more not significantly more. May be he'll surpass. May be OP's income-debt-spending ratio limits her ability to be an equal contributor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple wants a good marriage, stable home and happy kids, what's wrong with one or both to parent-track their career for child bearing and rearing years?

Sure. In OPs case her DH needs to be the parent-tracked one. This guy probably won’t make enough to be the breadwinner and NEEDS ops income but is too insecure to be the main parent of his own child.

Why would you assume that? She said she makes a little more not significantly more. May be he'll surpass. May be OP's income-debt-spending ratio limits her ability to be an equal contributor.

Why would you bet on things that haven’t happened over actual reality? Op makes more now. He is not happy about it and still expects her to be his house slave. Bizarre to give so much benefit of doubt to her partner but you won’t extend that to op. Women are allowed to work AND want to work. It’s not a crime.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple wants a good marriage, stable home and happy kids, what's wrong with one or both to parent-track their career for child bearing and rearing years?

Sure. In OPs case her DH needs to be the parent-tracked one. This guy probably won’t make enough to be the breadwinner and NEEDS ops income but is too insecure to be the main parent of his own child.

Why would you assume that? She said she makes a little more not significantly more. May be he'll surpass. May be OP's income-debt-spending ratio limits her ability to be an equal contributor.

Why would you bet on things that haven’t happened over actual reality? Op makes more now. He is not happy about it and still expects her to be his house slave. Bizarre to give so much benefit of doubt to her partner but you won’t extend that to op. Women are allowed to work AND want to work. It’s not a crime.

I am a SAH, I made more than DH did when we were first married. Worked for a large company and was pretty high up. His path had a significantly higher ceiling. I wanted to be a SAH and made that clear to DH early on. If you need the income, I get it. But saying you want to climb the corporate ladder because that will make you feel accomplished is crazy. No one cares.

I am not a "house slave" in any way, shape or form. I don't know many men or woman who would pass up the opportunity to live very comfortably and not have to work. Sure there are some but in reality if you actually put that offer in front of people they would say would choose not to work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple wants a good marriage, stable home and happy kids, what's wrong with one or both to parent-track their career for child bearing and rearing years?

Sure. In OPs case her DH needs to be the parent-tracked one. This guy probably won’t make enough to be the breadwinner and NEEDS ops income but is too insecure to be the main parent of his own child.

Why would you assume that? She said she makes a little more not significantly more. May be he'll surpass. May be OP's income-debt-spending ratio limits her ability to be an equal contributor.

Why would you bet on things that haven’t happened over actual reality? Op makes more now. He is not happy about it and still expects her to be his house slave. Bizarre to give so much benefit of doubt to her partner but you won’t extend that to op. Women are allowed to work AND want to work. It’s not a crime.

I am a SAH, I made more than DH did when we were first married. Worked for a large company and was pretty high up. His path had a significantly higher ceiling. I wanted to be a SAH and made that clear to DH early on. If you need the income, I get it. But saying you want to climb the corporate ladder because that will make you feel accomplished is crazy. No one cares.

I am not a "house slave" in any way, shape or form. I don't know many men or woman who would pass up the opportunity to live very comfortably and not have to work. Sure there are some but in reality if you actually put that offer in front of people they would say would choose not to work.

You don’t seem to be the target audience for OPs post then. She is ambitious and wants to have a career, not to sit at home. Glad it works for you but this apples and oranges. If sitting at home on your ass is so great I’m sure OPs boyfriend can do that. She’s not interested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If a couple wants a good marriage, stable home and happy kids, what's wrong with one or both to parent-track their career for child bearing and rearing years?

Sure. In OPs case her DH needs to be the parent-tracked one. This guy probably won’t make enough to be the breadwinner and NEEDS ops income but is too insecure to be the main parent of his own child.

Why would you assume that? She said she makes a little more not significantly more. May be he'll surpass. May be OP's income-debt-spending ratio limits her ability to be an equal contributor.

Why would you bet on things that haven’t happened over actual reality? Op makes more now. He is not happy about it and still expects her to be his house slave. Bizarre to give so much benefit of doubt to her partner but you won’t extend that to op. Women are allowed to work AND want to work. It’s not a crime.

I am a SAH, I made more than DH did when we were first married. Worked for a large company and was pretty high up. His path had a significantly higher ceiling. I wanted to be a SAH and made that clear to DH early on. If you need the income, I get it. But saying you want to climb the corporate ladder because that will make you feel accomplished is crazy. No one cares.

I am not a "house slave" in any way, shape or form. I don't know many men or woman who would pass up the opportunity to live very comfortably and not have to work. Sure there are some but in reality if you actually put that offer in front of people they would say would choose not to work.

You don’t seem to be the target audience for OPs post then. She is ambitious and wants to have a career, not to sit at home. Glad it works for you but this apples and oranges. If sitting at home on your ass is so great I’m sure OPs boyfriend can do that. She’s not interested.

This. Love being a mom but being SAHP was never for me. I'm not climbing the corporate ladder as much, I'm an attorney but not chasing the highest salaries (though I do well). But being a SAHP just isn't for me. My husband and I both made choices to balance family and career, so we don't miss things like performances and have time together every single day and full weekends.

[Anonymous]

Why are SAHWs responding to a post about specifically NOT WANTING to stay at home? Like y’all so insecure you have to come pounce on a woman who wants to work and have her own career to make yourselves feel better or something? Why shouldn’t OP strive to do whatever she wants in her career AND hold out for a real man who will support and encourage her? You really think she should settle for some small insecure man who will only try to bring her down? When there’s men out there that would lift you up and be proud to have an ambitious wife? Nah girls that is NOT IT. Sounds like unhappy women trying to bring other women down to their level. Not having it.