Missing Princeton student

[Anonymous]

^common age for mental health issues to arise. ^^

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was a kid in high school (private) in our town that committed suicide and in obit father talked about achievements. Talk about tone deaf.

Are you really criticizing how a grieving family eulogized their child? When you know nothing about what they faced privately or the root of that child’s struggles? That’s rather cruel and unfeeling. And tone deaf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton 30 years ago. The social environment is challenging and competitive in a below the surface way. There is a lot of snubbing that goes on. The eating clubs drive this. It can be a cold place. I would have sent my kids just for the career opportunities if they got in (they never actually applied) but I’m glad they are at different schools. A lot of otherwise socially successful people struggled there. The gothic dorms, cold winters and heavy workloads don’t help.

Yes, pretty sure your experience from 30 yers ago (!) is irrelevant today. The kids on reddit seem happy, or at least as happy as others students at similarly competitive schools.
The eating clubs are open to everyone now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton 30 years ago. The social environment is challenging and competitive in a below the surface way. There is a lot of snubbing that goes on. The eating clubs drive this. It can be a cold place. I would have sent my kids just for the career opportunities if they got in (they never actually applied) but I’m glad they are at different schools. A lot of otherwise socially successful people struggled there. The gothic dorms, cold winters and heavy workloads don’t help.

Yes, pretty sure your experience from 30 yers ago (!) is irrelevant today. The kids on reddit seem happy, or at least as happy as others students at similarly competitive schools.
The eating clubs are open to everyone now.

This contradicts with all the suicides in recent years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton 30 years ago. The social environment is challenging and competitive in a below the surface way. There is a lot of snubbing that goes on. The eating clubs drive this. It can be a cold place. I would have sent my kids just for the career opportunities if they got in (they never actually applied) but I’m glad they are at different schools. A lot of otherwise socially successful people struggled there. The gothic dorms, cold winters and heavy workloads don’t help.

Yes, pretty sure your experience from 30 yers ago (!) is irrelevant today. The kids on reddit seem happy, or at least as happy as others students at similarly competitive schools.
The eating clubs are open to everyone now.

This contradicts with all the suicides in recent years.

When considering small sample sizes, posters should familiarize themselves with the cluster illusion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton 30 years ago. The social environment is challenging and competitive in a below the surface way. There is a lot of snubbing that goes on. The eating clubs drive this. It can be a cold place. I would have sent my kids just for the career opportunities if they got in (they never actually applied) but I’m glad they are at different schools. A lot of otherwise socially successful people struggled there. The gothic dorms, cold winters and heavy workloads don’t help.

Yes, pretty sure your experience from 30 yers ago (!) is irrelevant today. The kids on reddit seem happy, or at least as happy as others students at similarly competitive schools.
The eating clubs are open to everyone now.

This contradicts with all the suicides in recent years.

Agree, the Princetonian article points out that the vast majority of suicides at Princeton have occurred in the past decade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton 30 years ago. The social environment is challenging and competitive in a below the surface way. There is a lot of snubbing that goes on. The eating clubs drive this. It can be a cold place. I would have sent my kids just for the career opportunities if they got in (they never actually applied) but I’m glad they are at different schools. A lot of otherwise socially successful people struggled there. The gothic dorms, cold winters and heavy workloads don’t help.

Yes, pretty sure your experience from 30 yers ago (!) is irrelevant today. The kids on reddit seem happy, or at least as happy as others students at similarly competitive schools.
The eating clubs are open to everyone now.

This contradicts with all the suicides in recent years.

When considering small sample sizes, posters should familiarize themselves with the cluster illusion.

You should take a moment to ask yourself why you are arguing against the school taking further steps to address mental health issues on campus. Particularly when there is currently a young man missing and feared dead.

[Anonymous]

Low income students are more isolated which doesn't help. It's happening at Yale with the residential colleges. About half of students move out after sophomore year so they can be with their friends who typically come from similar SES backgrounds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton 30 years ago. The social environment is challenging and competitive in a below the surface way. There is a lot of snubbing that goes on. The eating clubs drive this. It can be a cold place. I would have sent my kids just for the career opportunities if they got in (they never actually applied) but I’m glad they are at different schools. A lot of otherwise socially successful people struggled there. The gothic dorms, cold winters and heavy workloads don’t help.

Also went and agree 100% with this. I had mental health struggles there, which I did not have before nor since. It wasn’t about academic pressure at all for me, I did very well and that’s not my personality. For me it was about social/living stuff and social climate: being surrounded by ultra thin girls with very disordered eating, gross living conditions, and heavy drinking and hookup culture that was normalized/celebrated. It just wasn’t great for me. I also had several assistant professors and visiting lecturers who were consumed by stress about their tenure and career prospects and talked about their own problems openly and often, to the point where feeling bad for them was my main takeaway from their classes. I made good friends and had some great experiences as well but often felt at odds with the prevailing culture, which pp describes well.

I’m sure it’s different now in many ways though.

[Anonymous]

I went on reddit and the kids report being happy. Some even say they are living the happiest years of their life.
Sorry you had a poor experience and were depressed 30 years ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/princeton/s/HFhBBnFxKr

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went on reddit and the kids report being happy. Some even say they are living the happiest years of their life.
Sorry you had a poor experience and were depressed 30 years ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/princeton/s/HFhBBnFxKr

I don’t think you actually read this reddit thread because plenty of complaints in it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I went on reddit and the kids report being happy. Some even say they are living the happiest years of their life.
Sorry you had a poor experience and were depressed 30 years ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/princeton/s/HFhBBnFxKr

NP.

So? Lots of people posting on the Internet are masking issues. Sometimes being in denial is worse.

But let’s say 99% of the students at Princeton are perfectly content. That doesn’t mean more can’t be done for the other 1%, and in a way that educates the content 99% on how to respond to issues they may have later in life. Princeton has the resources to do things other schools can learn from, but all schools should be asking how to help students learn about holistic health in ways that help them now and in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Low income students are more isolated which doesn't help. It's happening at Yale with the residential colleges. About half of students move out after sophomore year so they can be with their friends who typically come from similar SES backgrounds.

This was a phenomenon at Yale even back in my day in the early 2000s. Athletes and rich kids/prep school friends often moved out and lived together in apartments. Even though they were by far in the minority, it was obvious and visible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on reddit and the kids report being happy. Some even say they are living the happiest years of their life.
Sorry you had a poor experience and were depressed 30 years ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/princeton/s/HFhBBnFxKr

NP.

So? Lots of people posting on the Internet are masking issues. Sometimes being in denial is worse.

But let’s say 99% of the students at Princeton are perfectly content. That doesn’t mean more can’t be done for the other 1%, and in a way that educates the content 99% on how to respond to issues they may have later in life. Princeton has the resources to do things other schools can learn from, but all schools should be asking how to help students learn about holistic health in ways that help them now and in the future.

The comments were blaming the school and making it look like everyone there is miserable. Mental health resources exist at Princeton and are accessible. The kids need to recognize when they are in trouble, reach out and get help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went on reddit and the kids report being happy. Some even say they are living the happiest years of their life.
Sorry you had a poor experience and were depressed 30 years ago.

https://www.reddit.com/r/princeton/s/HFhBBnFxKr

NP.

So? Lots of people posting on the Internet are masking issues. Sometimes being in denial is worse.

But let’s say 99% of the students at Princeton are perfectly content. That doesn’t mean more can’t be done for the other 1%, and in a way that educates the content 99% on how to respond to issues they may have later in life. Princeton has the resources to do things other schools can learn from, but all schools should be asking how to help students learn about holistic health in ways that help them now and in the future.

The comments were blaming the school and making it look like everyone there is miserable. Mental health resources exist at Princeton and are accessible. The kids need to recognize when they are in trouble, reach out and get help.

A symptom of depression is distorted thinking, which can make it hard to recognize depression in yourself. I don’t know what the solution is but blaming suicidal kids for not accessing help would not be my go-to.