Missing Princeton student

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if these suicides skew in the direction of FGLI. The problem is you take kids who are relatively unprepared/unqualified versus peers and toss them into one of the more academically rigorous environments in the U.S. where they struggle/fail. Add to this being a fish out of water socially. Princeton above all other schools has been aggressive about FGLI with 70 pct of students now receiving aid

I've been wondering about this for a while. When I attended HYP, there were certainly class tensions. But there was also a lot of well-rounded regular suburban kids in the mix. That middle has been hollowed out. How can that not affect the social dynamic on campus, in a way that is highly detrimental to FGLI kids who simply don't have the advantages or know how to play the game the way wealthy kids do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if these suicides skew in the direction of FGLI. The problem is you take kids who are relatively unprepared/unqualified versus peers and toss them into one of the more academically rigorous environments in the U.S. where they struggle/fail. Add to this being a fish out of water socially. Princeton above all other schools has been aggressive about FGLI with 70 pct of students now receiving aid

Not sure about the current kid, but the previous two who died by suicide were a double legacy and a faculty kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if these suicides skew in the direction of FGLI. The problem is you take kids who are relatively unprepared/unqualified versus peers and toss them into one of the more academically rigorous environments in the U.S. where they struggle/fail. Add to this being a fish out of water socially. Princeton above all other schools has been aggressive about FGLI with 70 pct of students now receiving aid

Not sure about the current kid, but the previous two who died by suicide were a double legacy and a faculty kid.

There was a girl from the Midwest with Somali or Ethiopian background as well

[Anonymous]

This is really tragic.

At the risk of sounding callous, my kids (senior and junior at 2 different schools) were recently talking about the kids going to X, Y or Z school. Princeton came up because they know about 8 different kids who got in from a mixture of privates and publics. It is the most interesting group of intense, odd and heavily parented kids you could imagine. Their conclusion was that it was a bunch of kids who had little in common with each other except they all stood out as being extreme.

I do think that colleges who select for these outlier kids are going to get ones who struggle with mental health issues at a higher rate than the rest of humanity . Both because mental illness sometimes tracks with brilliance and because the pressure these kids have been under for so many years (from parents and from themselves) is really hard.

I doubt it has anything to do with what Princeton is doing or not doing. These kids arrive with these risk factors.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really tragic.

At the risk of sounding callous, my kids (senior and junior at 2 different schools) were recently talking about the kids going to X, Y or Z school. Princeton came up because they know about 8 different kids who got in from a mixture of privates and publics. It is the most interesting group of intense, odd and heavily parented kids you could imagine. Their conclusion was that it was a bunch of kids who had little in common with each other except they all stood out as being extreme.

I do think that colleges who select for these outlier kids are going to get ones who struggle with mental health issues at a higher rate than the rest of humanity . Both because mental illness sometimes tracks with brilliance and because the pressure these kids have been under for so many years (from parents and from themselves) is really hard.

I doubt it has anything to do with what Princeton is doing or not doing. These kids arrive with these risk factors.

Put a bunch of “extreme” perfectionist kids together and add in grade deflation, and this is what you get. Many schools have successfully made changes to address suicide clusters, MIT and Penn for example. It appears Princeton need to do more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really tragic.

At the risk of sounding callous, my kids (senior and junior at 2 different schools) were recently talking about the kids going to X, Y or Z school. Princeton came up because they know about 8 different kids who got in from a mixture of privates and publics. It is the most interesting group of intense, odd and heavily parented kids you could imagine. Their conclusion was that it was a bunch of kids who had little in common with each other except they all stood out as being extreme.

I do think that colleges who select for these outlier kids are going to get ones who struggle with mental health issues at a higher rate than the rest of humanity . Both because mental illness sometimes tracks with brilliance and because the pressure these kids have been under for so many years (from parents and from themselves) is really hard.

I doubt it has anything to do with what Princeton is doing or not doing. These kids arrive with these risk factors.

Not to be mean, but we know a narcissistic liar going to Princeton. Their app was full of lies and they still got accepted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is really tragic.

At the risk of sounding callous, my kids (senior and junior at 2 different schools) were recently talking about the kids going to X, Y or Z school. Princeton came up because they know about 8 different kids who got in from a mixture of privates and publics. It is the most interesting group of intense, odd and heavily parented kids you could imagine. Their conclusion was that it was a bunch of kids who had little in common with each other except they all stood out as being extreme.

I do think that colleges who select for these outlier kids are going to get ones who struggle with mental health issues at a higher rate than the rest of humanity . Both because mental illness sometimes tracks with brilliance and because the pressure these kids have been under for so many years (from parents and from themselves) is really hard.

I doubt it has anything to do with what Princeton is doing or not doing. These kids arrive with these risk factors.

You are callous. Shame on you.

[Anonymous]

This is an awful thread and should be deleted. Have some empathy. Think of his poor parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I went to Princeton 30 years ago. The social environment is challenging and competitive in a below the surface way. There is a lot of snubbing that goes on. The eating clubs drive this. It can be a cold place. I would have sent my kids just for the career opportunities if they got in (they never actually applied) but I’m glad they are at different schools. A lot of otherwise socially successful people struggled there. The gothic dorms, cold winters and heavy workloads don’t help.

Also went and agree 100% with this. I had mental health struggles there, which I did not have before nor since. It wasn’t about academic pressure at all for me, I did very well and that’s not my personality. For me it was about social/living stuff and social climate: being surrounded by ultra thin girls with very disordered eating, gross living conditions, and heavy drinking and hookup culture that was normalized/celebrated. It just wasn’t great for me. I also had several assistant professors and visiting lecturers who were consumed by stress about their tenure and career prospects and talked about their own problems openly and often, to the point where feeling bad for them was my main takeaway from their classes. I made good friends and had some great experiences as well but often felt at odds with the prevailing culture, which pp describes well.

I’m sure it’s different now in many ways though.

Pp here. Maybe I know you. The eating disorders were truly rampant. It’s a very idiosyncratic culture and it’s impossible for anyone to understand unless you’ve had exposure to it… Things have probably changed but whatever energy this was is probably hard to kill

+1
I went to a SLAC and really had none of this. Ended up in ny and was roommates w/ a group of Princeton girls that I had met in my summer analyst program. They all continued the eating disorders after college. It really was normalized within their group. I ended up moving out to a studio bc it’s not fun to share a bathroom with a group like that

[Anonymous]

I remember reading a few years ago about how Yale had a demonstrated pattern of counseling out kids who'd had issues with mental health and discouraging them from returning from Yale. In this case, the young man was a 23-year junior who clearly had taken breaks from his education, and from all signs Princeton was giving him every opportunity to continue his studies. It's absolutely tragic that he apparently chose to take his own life, but dumping on Princeton when it potentially could have taken the same approach as Yale seems like an exercise in "no good deed goes unpunished."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really tragic.

At the risk of sounding callous, my kids (senior and junior at 2 different schools) were recently talking about the kids going to X, Y or Z school. Princeton came up because they know about 8 different kids who got in from a mixture of privates and publics. It is the most interesting group of intense, odd and heavily parented kids you could imagine. Their conclusion was that it was a bunch of kids who had little in common with each other except they all stood out as being extreme.

I do think that colleges who select for these outlier kids are going to get ones who struggle with mental health issues at a higher rate than the rest of humanity . Both because mental illness sometimes tracks with brilliance and because the pressure these kids have been under for so many years (from parents and from themselves) is really hard.

I doubt it has anything to do with what Princeton is doing or not doing. These kids arrive with these risk factors.

You are callous. Shame on you.

+1. This young man was a star in high school in Indiana, and everyone interviewed spoke of his kindness, humility, and brilliance. PP should be ashamed of herself. I truly despise this forum sometimes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really tragic.

At the risk of sounding callous, my kids (senior and junior at 2 different schools) were recently talking about the kids going to X, Y or Z school. Princeton came up because they know about 8 different kids who got in from a mixture of privates and publics. It is the most interesting group of intense, odd and heavily parented kids you could imagine. Their conclusion was that it was a bunch of kids who had little in common with each other except they all stood out as being extreme.

I do think that colleges who select for these outlier kids are going to get ones who struggle with mental health issues at a higher rate than the rest of humanity . Both because mental illness sometimes tracks with brilliance and because the pressure these kids have been under for so many years (from parents and from themselves) is really hard.

I doubt it has anything to do with what Princeton is doing or not doing. These kids arrive with these risk factors.

You are callous. Shame on you.

NP. You're all on a thread about the death of an Ivy kid that none of you know. Many of you are only here because it's an Ivy kid.

Parents, like myself, are questioning how our society produces top young achievers. There's no question in my mind that the process fosters anxiety. And that there are selection rewards for being an outlier (having an extreme talent, conveying through writing an unusual perspective or voice, etc.). We all know that a lot of interesting, intense people can be anxious and have wide emotional swings.

I don't find the person's comment callous. Just their family's experience.

[Anonymous]

There have been 8 suicides at Princeton in three years. If there isn’t pressure on the school to do more about it, this trend will continue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is really tragic.

At the risk of sounding callous, my kids (senior and junior at 2 different schools) were recently talking about the kids going to X, Y or Z school. Princeton came up because they know about 8 different kids who got in from a mixture of privates and publics. It is the most interesting group of intense, odd and heavily parented kids you could imagine. Their conclusion was that it was a bunch of kids who had little in common with each other except they all stood out as being extreme.

I do think that colleges who select for these outlier kids are going to get ones who struggle with mental health issues at a higher rate than the rest of humanity . Both because mental illness sometimes tracks with brilliance and because the pressure these kids have been under for so many years (from parents and from themselves) is really hard.

I doubt it has anything to do with what Princeton is doing or not doing. These kids arrive with these risk factors.

You are callous. Shame on you.

NP. You're all on a thread about the death of an Ivy kid that none of you know. Many of you are only here because it's an Ivy kid.

Parents, like myself, are questioning how our society produces top young achievers. There's no question in my mind that the process fosters anxiety. And that there are selection rewards for being an outlier (having an extreme talent, conveying through writing an unusual perspective or voice, etc.). We all know that a lot of interesting, intense people can be anxious and have wide emotional swings.

I don't find the person's comment callous. Just their family's experience.

Oh please. Posters are making many painful assumptions about a kid they know nothing about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Remember that one YouTube from that Princeton kid that was posted here last year?

Wow eye-opening.

Immediately took it off of my kids list. It is not a happy place. Buyer beware

Lol my dc is there and is pretty happy

m
Curious what is your HHI?

$350k
My kid gets aid.

How much aid do you get with $350k?

We are paying half our in state tuition costs. We are grateful.

You must have very low assets. When we ran the NPC it resulted in zero aid and our HHI is lower.

We do! Grateful to Princeton and grateful our kid is happy there.

Many FA families feel they have a much harder time getting admitted than full pay applicants. Can you tell us why you think DC was accepted to so many schools?