Are people getting meaner?

[Anonymous]

Meaner? Not really. Stupider? Absolutely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only the first story is a sign of the times, OP.

I'm a foreigner waiting for my green card, and I am NOT traveling outside the US right now, because I don't need to. But I know plenty of foreigners working in the US who need to travel internationally for work, on diplomatic visas and other types of visas. They're not going to refuse to go just because they're afraid, that's not how it works! So yes, the employee has to go if they can't fulfill a job requirement.

Crazy parents at sports events have always existed.

Me again. To be clear, I was referring to the unfair detentions imposed on British, French, German citizens with legal paperwork or legal visa waivers, and no known history of any terrorist activities. Foreigners are legitimately worried right now when they cross a US border!!! But if you need to do so for work, you do it.

If you're referring to a US person who doesn't wish to travel internationally, then that's ridiculous. They're not going to be harassed abroad just because they're American.

This person was a foreigner with a green card. They were not white, but rather from a country that is on the visa ban list.

I do feel terrible. It was not even necessary for this person to go. I actually covered their work for them, which wasn't a problem at all.

Another thing -- we know a lot of federal workers. I keep running into people who are just don't care and don't feel bad. I was talking with a mom in a group of four other women. Our kids are good friends. She mentioned she and her husband were both caught up in the firings in conversation, wasn't fishing or anything just responding when people asked how you are. She walked off and every other woman in the group began crap talking her! Saying she was fishing for sympathy, talking about how lazy government workers are, this had to be done, etc.! Which is wild, because she really wasn't! She was very factual.

Sounds like you live in a Republican enclave of Fairfax. How many Trump flags were there in your neighborhood?

LMFAO. Is this a joke?

FFX is deep solid Blue. There are no R enclaves.

You would be shocked at the amount of subtle trumpers. Our street has at least 3. I actively shun them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had a 20 year old guy aggressively follow me into a parking lot and block me in to yell at me because he didn't like that I got in front of him in the right turn lane into the shopping center. Guarantee he is heading for jail.

You cut him off and almost caused a collision just because you couldn’t miss your turn and do a u-turn further down the road. Screw that. Don’t be an ass to other people and then complain that they reflect your own actions back at you.

NP- There is no need to escalate in that case. It's poor emotional regulation. I've had what op did done to me. You curse under your breath, might tell your spouse about it like "can you believe that woman did this? What a moron" when you get home but you don't rage follow people and risk a full on confrontation. This is how terrible road rage cases end up in the paper.

[Anonymous]

I take my aggression out on the road. Some moronic school bus driver cursed at me today because I had to pull out a TAD into the road to see around an illegally parked car. I tailgated her and gave her the finger. Don’t disrespect me. It felt good.

[Anonymous]

I think people have always been this mean, but it was not socially acceptable to be outwardly mean. They thought the mean thoughts and said the mean things with their close friends and family members, but never out in public. They were never bold about it.

The political climate changed everything in 2016. People are more comfortable being outwardly mean.

I have an overweight sister. People have said the most horrific things to her in public over the last almost 10 years. Sure, she'd get some snickers from people or comments from dumb teens, but more recently it has been adults being downright cruel. A mom loudly telling her kids "You can order dessert if you want to end up looking like her" while pointing at my sister in a restaurant. A guy in public asked her "How often do you think about dropping dead from a heart attack? If I was fat, I think that's all I would ever think about."

[Anonymous]

Social” media + Covid + WFH = we are far less tolerant and/or social than prior generations or prior times.

We just want to be left alone to mindlessly scroll.

[Anonymous]

AI should be pointed at DCUM to figure this out (or at least provide a data point). I think DCUM is getting meaner. There is no doubt in my mind politics is meaner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started reading DCUM just a couple years ago & was surprised to see the constant contempt for others in so many threads. Calling people a moron, idiot, stupid, is a regular occurrence. I didn't expect to see this level of ugliness considering the better umc life options & higher quality education the majority of this community has been blessed to have.

I have been in DCUM for 13 years and…

It hasn’t really changed much. The rest of society, maybe, this website, nope.

Agree. I've been on since before it was even a website (it was a liserve and I bought baby things for my now 19 year old). Although I don't remember the listserve being toxic.
But I have learned SO MUCH from DCUrban Moms. My husband, and now my adult child, roll their eyes because they think it's mean bitties on here but they are well informed mean bitties and not always mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am very wary of “friends” or “neighbors” who turn out to be closet Trumpers. I’m developing a way to weed them out so I can avoid avoid avoid. The best topic to sort of skirt around is climate change. If there is any push back at all, that’s a tell. I just turn cold and avoid in the future. I hate being angry and distrustful. But we’re all guarded. This is what he wants. Divide and conquer. This is a soft coup d’ etat.

Climate issues are so behind the microplastics problem we have. That’s the one I need to know where people stand.

Can you say more? If I had 5 minutes to start learning, where to go?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No, you have just lived a sheltered life and not been exposed to true humanity.

Travel some around the world, and you will be shocked at how cheap life is in most of the world.

I don't disagree that there is less of a premium on survival in some places.
Except people are much, much nicer in many parts of the world. Maybe because people know they will run into each other again in rural areas or areas with less mobility? More social contract because of less diversity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I serve on a private school board and have for over a decade. In the last 2 years, I’ve felt a huge shift in our conversations. People have gone from being collegial team players focused on generosity and service, to speaking nastily about financial aid recipients, teachers, etc. And I don’t mean the tone of the room overall- individuals have changed. They’ve also started being greedy and stingy all at once. It’s been a shocking turn and has really changes how we work. No surprise that our work has become stagnant and bogged down.

I can see this, but I wonder if the school has also changed and people are reacting to that change?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I started reading DCUM just a couple years ago & was surprised to see the constant contempt for others in so many threads. Calling people a moron, idiot, stupid, is a regular occurrence. I didn't expect to see this level of ugliness considering the better umc life options & higher quality education the majority of this community has been blessed to have.

Look back to threads 10 years ago. This happened less often.

[Anonymous]

It is so many things and I do not blame Trump, (and I can’t stand Trump).
1) we live in a world where everyone is a victim, except sometimes the victim,
2) we do not develop patience anymore, everything is quick and could be done at our fingertips,
3) we do not teach kids to manage their emotions,
4) lack of consequences starts early,
5) the main source of community and families these days is competitive sports,
6) lack of religion, even if you believe this is a good thing, which may be fair, teaching morality was not a bad thing for the masses,
7) lack of relationships, most people, strongest relationship is with their phone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Only the first story is a sign of the times, OP.

I'm a foreigner waiting for my green card, and I am NOT traveling outside the US right now, because I don't need to. But I know plenty of foreigners working in the US who need to travel internationally for work, on diplomatic visas and other types of visas. They're not going to refuse to go just because they're afraid, that's not how it works! So yes, the employee has to go if they can't fulfill a job requirement.

Crazy parents at sports events have always existed.

Me again. To be clear, I was referring to the unfair detentions imposed on British, French, German citizens with legal paperwork or legal visa waivers, and no known history of any terrorist activities. Foreigners are legitimately worried right now when they cross a US border!!! But if you need to do so for work, you do it.

If you're referring to a US person who doesn't wish to travel internationally, then that's ridiculous. They're not going to be harassed abroad just because they're American.

This person was a foreigner with a green card. They were not white, but rather from a country that is on the visa ban list.

I do feel terrible. It was not even necessary for this person to go. I actually covered their work for them, which wasn't a problem at all.

Another thing -- we know a lot of federal workers. I keep running into people who are just don't care and don't feel bad. I was talking with a mom in a group of four other women. Our kids are good friends. She mentioned she and her husband were both caught up in the firings in conversation, wasn't fishing or anything just responding when people asked how you are. She walked off and every other woman in the group began crap talking her! Saying she was fishing for sympathy, talking about how lazy government workers are, this had to be done, etc.! Which is wild, because she really wasn't! She was very factual.

Sounds like you live in a Republican enclave of Fairfax. How many Trump flags were there in your neighborhood?

LMFAO. Is this a joke?

FFX is deep solid Blue. There are no R enclaves.

Not a joke at all. You don't think OP's examples sound like something Trumpers would do? I think people are vastly underestimating the amount of people who voted for him, including people in Fairfax County.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I started reading DCUM just a couple years ago & was surprised to see the constant contempt for others in so many threads. Calling people a moron, idiot, stupid, is a regular occurrence. I didn't expect to see this level of ugliness considering the better umc life options & higher quality education the majority of this community has been blessed to have.

Look back to threads 10 years ago. This happened less often.

I think the explosion of trolls has contributed to this as well.