NYT article on men struggling with their place in society

[Anonymous]

In theory I agree with DEI and I want to break down the old boys club.

But I can’t help but notice that so many diversity hires are incompetent and unqualified. I hate that I notice this.

I also can give credit to white males for a lot of modern day conveniences. The car, light bulb, airplane, iPhone, antibiotics, modern day plumbing etc weren’t invented in Africa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they suddenly are experiencing a lack of sea parting for straight men in society and are having breakdowns and being crybabies. Mad because society has started to value competence and excellence over gender/race/physical appearance/stereotypes of what kind of people should be in what roles in society.

Agree. There is an idiom for this: when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.

An example is a study done in business meetings. When women spoke 25% of the time, men said that men and women spoke equally as often. When women spoke just 30% of the time, men said that women dominated the conversation. It objectively wasn’t true, but women only had to speak a little more for men to think they were dominating the conversation.

Men (esp white men of a certain age) were raised believing that they would be at the top of the food chain. And that’s still mostly true. But they have to share some of the spotlight now, and boy, they don’t like it.

I certainly think we have work to do regarding equality, but in my profession I have noticed that in the past 5-8 years literally ZERO white people have been given residencies, grants, fellowships or stipends in the DC area. Well, I think maybe there was one white woman but she was gay. So, as a white person, I have been going after every single thing and have been shut out. I'm not saying anything of course because the whole world would call me a Karen, but I guess I'm lucky my spouse makes a decent amount of money because I have totally stagnated despite being pretty damn talented and incredibly hard working.

Every group tries to help their own out. White men were getting their golfing buddies and frat bros in for years. So we start getting people of color and women into positions of power, they then start helping out their fellow women. That was the original point of DEI, to break up the boys club. For it to be a true meritocracy, everyone would have to stop helping out their friends, family, and people from their racial groups and that isn’t going to happen in the near future.

No, that's not it. White men are hiring, but they are not hiring white people. You have convinced them that everyone-but-white people deserve their chance. So that's who they are hiring.

It's not a meritocracy. It's something else.

This is how it's currently done in academia. White men hiring but only hiring people of color. Candidates often have to write a statement about how they will promote diversity in their work and teaching. It's going to weed out anyone who doesn't have "lived experience" and thar's probably the point. It's not really open to CIS white people though they can get adjunct/PT jobs.

Gross.

[Anonymous]

NP. As a person who predicted months before both the 2016 and 2020 elections that Trump was going to win easily (and was laughed at), this thread is just more evidence to me of how much of a sealed bubble DCUM is. It is a bit remarkable.

[Anonymous]

Women are awarded college degrees at far higher rates than men, according to PEW research:

https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2024/11/18/us-women-are-outpacing-men-in-college-completion-including-in-every-major-racial-and-ethnic-group/

And the rate is higher among all racial groups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. As a person who predicted months before both the 2016 and 2020 elections that Trump was going to win easily (and was laughed at), this thread is just more evidence to me of how much of a sealed bubble DCUM is. It is a bit remarkable.

That’s not the issue. It’s the unholy alliance of the patriarchy and the oligarchy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/01/16/opinion/men-trump-voters-focus-group.html?unlocked_article_code=1.pk4.M2Hr.Thy5lM84dXHH&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

I just read this and I am not sure there is an eye roll emoji that can accurately reflect how ridiculous this article is. A focus group of 12 men who voted for Trump. I admit I am a 40-something woman, with sisters and daughters so I probably have less opportunity to see this, but I struggle to believe that men are feeling like they don’t have a place in society. They OWN society. What is the deal with this whining? Even the comments about how they feel like chivalry is gone because women give them a dirty look if they hold a door. It is BASIC courtesy. And since when are men worried about getting a dirty look?

Can anyone explain this to me?

I bet the people who are disagreeing with you, OP, are these BOY MOMS.

boy moms are the worst!

- suburban white, boy-moms are the very worst people on the planet !

[Anonymous]

Men are such whiny babies. That’s what Trump really did, he made them unashamed to be whiny little worms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they suddenly are experiencing a lack of sea parting for straight men in society and are having breakdowns and being crybabies. Mad because society has started to value competence and excellence over gender/race/physical appearance/stereotypes of what kind of people should be in what roles in society.

Agree. There is an idiom for this: when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.

An example is a study done in business meetings. When women spoke 25% of the time, men said that men and women spoke equally as often. When women spoke just 30% of the time, men said that women dominated the conversation. It objectively wasn’t true, but women only had to speak a little more for men to think they were dominating the conversation.

Men (esp white men of a certain age) were raised believing that they would be at the top of the food chain. And that’s still mostly true. But they have to share some of the spotlight now, and boy, they don’t like it.

I certainly think we have work to do regarding equality, but in my profession I have noticed that in the past 5-8 years literally ZERO white people have been given residencies, grants, fellowships or stipends in the DC area. Well, I think maybe there was one white woman but she was gay. So, as a white person, I have been going after every single thing and have been shut out. I'm not saying anything of course because the whole world would call me a Karen, but I guess I'm lucky my spouse makes a decent amount of money because I have totally stagnated despite being pretty damn talented and incredibly hard working.

Every group tries to help their own out. White men were getting their golfing buddies and frat bros in for years. So we start getting people of color and women into positions of power, they then start helping out their fellow women. That was the original point of DEI, to break up the boys club. For it to be a true meritocracy, everyone would have to stop helping out their friends, family, and people from their racial groups and that isn’t going to happen in the near future.

You think women help each other out in this way? I’ve got a bridge to sell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. As a person who predicted months before both the 2016 and 2020 elections that Trump was going to win easily (and was laughed at), this thread is just more evidence to me of how much of a sealed bubble DCUM is. It is a bit remarkable.

That’s not the issue. It’s the unholy alliance of the patriarchy and the oligarchy.

It is precisely the issue, and the fact you can’t see that shows how insulated and out-of-touch DCUM posters are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In theory I agree with DEI and I want to break down the old boys club.

But I can’t help but notice that so many diversity hires are incompetent and unqualified. I hate that I notice this.

I also can give credit to white males for a lot of modern day conveniences. The car, light bulb, airplane, iPhone, antibiotics, modern day plumbing etc weren’t invented in Africa.

Do you also notice the incompetent and unqualified white people?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they suddenly are experiencing a lack of sea parting for straight men in society and are having breakdowns and being crybabies. Mad because society has started to value competence and excellence over gender/race/physical appearance/stereotypes of what kind of people should be in what roles in society.

Agree. There is an idiom for this: when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.

An example is a study done in business meetings. When women spoke 25% of the time, men said that men and women spoke equally as often. When women spoke just 30% of the time, men said that women dominated the conversation. It objectively wasn’t true, but women only had to speak a little more for men to think they were dominating the conversation.

Men (esp white men of a certain age) were raised believing that they would be at the top of the food chain. And that’s still mostly true. But they have to share some of the spotlight now, and boy, they don’t like it.

I certainly think we have work to do regarding equality, but in my profession I have noticed that in the past 5-8 years literally ZERO white people have been given residencies, grants, fellowships or stipends in the DC area. Well, I think maybe there was one white woman but she was gay. So, as a white person, I have been going after every single thing and have been shut out. I'm not saying anything of course because the whole world would call me a Karen, but I guess I'm lucky my spouse makes a decent amount of money because I have totally stagnated despite being pretty damn talented and incredibly hard working.

Every group tries to help their own out. White men were getting their golfing buddies and frat bros in for years. So we start getting people of color and women into positions of power, they then start helping out their fellow women. That was the original point of DEI, to break up the boys club. For it to be a true meritocracy, everyone would have to stop helping out their friends, family, and people from their racial groups and that isn’t going to happen in the near future.

No, that's not it. White men are hiring, but they are not hiring white people. You have convinced them that everyone-but-white people deserve their chance. So that's who they are hiring.

It's not a meritocracy. It's something else.

This is how it's currently done in academia. White men hiring but only hiring people of color. Candidates often have to write a statement about how they will promote diversity in their work and teaching. It's going to weed out anyone who doesn't have "lived experience" and thar's probably the point. It's not really open to CIS white people though they can get adjunct/PT jobs.

I teach at a medical school in Omaha. White men are doing just fine here. And yet, they still voted for Trump.

[Anonymous]

Reading this thread makes me realize Republicans are going to win for decades.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. As a person who predicted months before both the 2016 and 2020 elections that Trump was going to win easily (and was laughed at), this thread is just more evidence to me of how much of a sealed bubble DCUM is. It is a bit remarkable.

Trump lost 2020. What’s your point?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they suddenly are experiencing a lack of sea parting for straight men in society and are having breakdowns and being crybabies. Mad because society has started to value competence and excellence over gender/race/physical appearance/stereotypes of what kind of people should be in what roles in society.

Agree. There is an idiom for this: when you're accustomed to privilege, equality feels like oppression.

An example is a study done in business meetings. When women spoke 25% of the time, men said that men and women spoke equally as often. When women spoke just 30% of the time, men said that women dominated the conversation. It objectively wasn’t true, but women only had to speak a little more for men to think they were dominating the conversation.

Men (esp white men of a certain age) were raised believing that they would be at the top of the food chain. And that’s still mostly true. But they have to share some of the spotlight now, and boy, they don’t like it.

I certainly think we have work to do regarding equality, but in my profession I have noticed that in the past 5-8 years literally ZERO white people have been given residencies, grants, fellowships or stipends in the DC area. Well, I think maybe there was one white woman but she was gay. So, as a white person, I have been going after every single thing and have been shut out. I'm not saying anything of course because the whole world would call me a Karen, but I guess I'm lucky my spouse makes a decent amount of money because I have totally stagnated despite being pretty damn talented and incredibly hard working.

Every group tries to help their own out. White men were getting their golfing buddies and frat bros in for years. So we start getting people of color and women into positions of power, they then start helping out their fellow women. That was the original point of DEI, to break up the boys club. For it to be a true meritocracy, everyone would have to stop helping out their friends, family, and people from their racial groups and that isn’t going to happen in the near future.

No, that's not it. White men are hiring, but they are not hiring white people. You have convinced them that everyone-but-white people deserve their chance. So that's who they are hiring.

It's not a meritocracy. It's something else.

This is how it's currently done in academia. White men hiring but only hiring people of color. Candidates often have to write a statement about how they will promote diversity in their work and teaching. It's going to weed out anyone who doesn't have "lived experience" and thar's probably the point. It's not really open to CIS white people though they can get adjunct/PT jobs.

I teach at a medical school in Omaha. White men are doing just fine here. And yet, they still voted for Trump.

There are maybe three non-white people in Nebraska, so that makes sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2025/01/16/opinion/men-trump-voters-focus-group.html?unlocked_article_code=1.pk4.M2Hr.Thy5lM84dXHH&smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

I just read this and I am not sure there is an eye roll emoji that can accurately reflect how ridiculous this article is. A focus group of 12 men who voted for Trump. I admit I am a 40-something woman, with sisters and daughters so I probably have less opportunity to see this, but I struggle to believe that men are feeling like they don’t have a place in society. They OWN society. What is the deal with this whining? Even the comments about how they feel like chivalry is gone because women give them a dirty look if they hold a door. It is BASIC courtesy. And since when are men worried about getting a dirty look?

Can anyone explain this to me?

I bet the people who are disagreeing with you, OP, are these BOY MOMS.

boy moms are the worst!

They really are. On the other hand, girl dads are pretty great. My husband came from a very male centric culture and is a (never Trumper) Republican. He has turned into such a great ally. Our daughter becoming a young woman and Trump’s rise has made him aware of all the inequality around him.