S/O - Why does DCUM hate this kind of woman so much?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That original thread was about women who wear obvious status symbols — designer bags and belts and jewelry that “if you know you know” and is meant to exhibit a certain amount of wealth and status.

I don’t hate those types but feel sorry for them. They obviously feel like they need to prove something to someone by wearing something that is recognizable as wealthy. Even worse are those who buy those things off somewhere like dhgate… (there’s a whole thing on TikTok right now about two sisters who were bragging about all the designer stuff they got for Christmas being called out for it being fake). What exactly are the trying to prove and to whom? Why are they wasting their money on that crap?

It’s a pretty bad sign to know about that though isn’t it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Many women play by the rules and have spent a lifetime trying to be a “good girl” and a “good woman” by studying hard, becoming well-read and attempting to be the antithesis of a bimbo/low-quality woman. They aim to be attractive and well-groomed without flashy overconsumption. Years of effort trying to be kind, fair, honest and at least a little bit of a feminist. So, they are mildly irritated when vapid or women with différèrent priorities don’t play by the rules and seem to thrive. These good women realize that high value men (and maybe even their husbands) admire these glossy sorts who flirt and are probably bad cooks/mothers/friends and it just doesn’t seem FAIR.

See everyone? JEALOUSY. Extreme jealousy. Based on imagining all kinds of things out of personal insecurity.

Yes, someone said it was jealousy, just like you did. Congratulations.

Maybe it's important to both of you for all the other people who don't like you to be jealous of you, not just find you unenviable. Okay. Sure.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That original thread was about women who wear obvious status symbols — designer bags and belts and jewelry that “if you know you know” and is meant to exhibit a certain amount of wealth and status.

I don’t hate those types but feel sorry for them. They obviously feel like they need to prove something to someone by wearing something that is recognizable as wealthy. Even worse are those who buy those things off somewhere like dhgate… (there’s a whole thing on TikTok right now about two sisters who were bragging about all the designer stuff they got for Christmas being called out for it being fake). What exactly are the trying to prove and to whom? Why are they wasting their money on that crap?

It’s a pretty bad sign to know about that though isn’t it

Bad sign for who exactly?

I know about this stuff because of the circles I run in and yea feel pressured to participate in it but at the same time know how mulch if a waste of money it all is. I have to make a conscious choice not to succumb to feeling like I have to participate in this female rat race. It’s disgusting that this type of societal pressure exists…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That original thread was about women who wear obvious status symbols — designer bags and belts and jewelry that “if you know you know” and is meant to exhibit a certain amount of wealth and status.

I don’t hate those types but feel sorry for them. They obviously feel like they need to prove something to someone by wearing something that is recognizable as wealthy. Even worse are those who buy those things off somewhere like dhgate… (there’s a whole thing on TikTok right now about two sisters who were bragging about all the designer stuff they got for Christmas being called out for it being fake). What exactly are the trying to prove and to whom? Why are they wasting their money on that crap?

+1, I just think stuff with the really obvious designer branding and labels is tacky. That's it.

I admire wealthy women who use their money to dress really stylishly, who put their clothes together in an interesting way or clearly just have an eye for fashion. No jealousy, no hate -- I find them inspiring and would want to be friends so I could ask for tips.

Someone in tacky designer stuff with huge logos or that have been deemed the "it" item on Instagram or whatever inspires pity, not jealousy. I am sorry an adult cannot think for themselves and feels the need to try and impress others in this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think anyone hates this woman.
People have strong reactions to situations where the person is obviously looking to be perceived a certain way but lacking in any subtleties. So the neverfull/ cartier love bracelet/ lulu is one or the person who posts on instagram from business class or associated lounge or the white Lexus basic b****h etc etc. these women are a click above the juicy velour sweatpants of yore.
I think people prefer ‘originals’. People who find a way to forge a new path, march to the beat of their own drum etc. they don’t hate the basic mom but they scorn her obvious attempts to ‘buy’ social capital instead of just being a badass person in her own right

Always “badass.” These basics don’t know any other word for a woman they admire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That original thread was about women who wear obvious status symbols — designer bags and belts and jewelry that “if you know you know” and is meant to exhibit a certain amount of wealth and status.

I don’t hate those types but feel sorry for them. They obviously feel like they need to prove something to someone by wearing something that is recognizable as wealthy. Even worse are those who buy those things off somewhere like dhgate… (there’s a whole thing on TikTok right now about two sisters who were bragging about all the designer stuff they got for Christmas being called out for it being fake). What exactly are the trying to prove and to whom? Why are they wasting their money on that crap?

It’s a pretty bad sign to know about that though isn’t it

DP but the whole point of this stuff is that it's easy for anyone to know about it. I've never owned a Neverfull or a Tiffany love bracelet but I've just kind of absorbed what they are by osmosis. Just like 20 years ago I'd never owned a pair of Tory Burch flats or a Coach bag or a pair of 7 for all Mankind jeans, but I could recognize any of them on sight because they were so ubiquitous.

Even my mom, who has never owned designer anything and thinks it's all a waste of money (she can afford it and then some, she just doesn't care and wear Lands End and clothes from Target mostly) knows what some of the more well known branded items are.

The whole point of wearing this stuff is that everyone knows what it is, where it came from, and how much it cost.

[Anonymous]

DCUM isn’t a good representation of reality. Fact is most people really don’t care what you wear. Your average American isn’t going to notice designer items unless it’s pointed out to them. Hell, your average American isn’t even looking at what people are wearing. It’s only a VERY small group of people who obsess over the social hierarchy (many of which try to prove their superiority by the fact that they don’t wear designer).

Personally I wish women would stop hating on each other over dumb stuff. Who cares. Also personally, I am INSANELY jealous of the women OP describes. I badly wished I had married wealthy enough to be one of those women. But instead of hating on them, I always find a way to connect with the person underneath.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DCUM isn’t a good representation of reality. Fact is most people really don’t care what you wear. Your average American isn’t going to notice designer items unless it’s pointed out to them. Hell, your average American isn’t even looking at what people are wearing. It’s only a VERY small group of people who obsess over the social hierarchy (many of which try to prove their superiority by the fact that they don’t wear designer).

Personally I wish women would stop hating on each other over dumb stuff. Who cares. Also personally, I am INSANELY jealous of the women OP describes. I badly wished I had married wealthy enough to be one of those women. But instead of hating on them, I always find a way to connect with the person underneath.

Lol yeah at least you don't feel the need to prove your superiority

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I don’t mind and I genuinely like some designer pieces, but I confess I don’t understand a lot of label-obvious pieces, like a sweatshirt that says “GIVENCHY,” or a tote that has the two huge Chanel interlocking Cs.

I think that Van Cleef Alhambra earrings are objectively pretty, for example, even though they are obviously from a designer label. Whereas interlocking Chanel C earrings just…aren’t beautiful. I enjoy beauty for beauty’s sake, whether it is a Tiffany silver cuff or a no-name silver cuff.

A lot of times I wonder, why the label and not just something pretty? Who is impressed by a sweatshirt or a baseball cap that has a designer logo?

You "don't understand"? Or you are contemptuous of it? I doubt you truly "don't understand" the appeal of a Givenchy sweatshirt. You just feel the need to put yourself above it.

I truly…don’t understand why people think a GIVENCHY sweatshirt is a flex. I get why a Birkin is a flex. I get that a luxury car is a flex. I truly don’t understand a designer sweatshirt. Because it’s not a flex even though it is apparently intended to be?

Ok. So here you are proving that you fully understand why people wear sweatshirts with a designer name on them, and also proving that you just want to emphasize how you know "it's not a flex" whereas they "apparently intended it to be"?

You probably shop at Talbot's and are all "why do people wear GIVENCHY sweatshirts?? I don't get it?? Blah, blah, blah." Go wander off to Chico's, lol.

Gee, I wonder who has designer sweatshirts and baseball caps and is just now figuring out they’re not landing as intended? Defensive much! LOL. If you want to look like a Real Housewife versus those of us who actually know and invest in quality and style, by all means.

PP here. I have zero "designer sweatshirts" and have never worn baseball caps. Not at all defensive. Just calling it. But I knew you were shopping at Talbot's. Hilarious. Go on with your bad self and your "quality and style." We can all picture it, I assure you.

Oh honey, I’ve never even been inside a Talbot’s, but keep reaching! We see you.

Oh, look, it’s the term-of-endearment poster. Now I’m even more convinced that you are wearing a Talbots sweater right this very minute.

And we all know you’re going to wearing a Big Dumb Hat today…

[youtube] https://youtu.be/meKH5jn_5M8?si=ytfcJauTzTzXY2Sw[/youtube]

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think your highlighted paragraph is hilarious. Whoever wrote that is funny.

And prob lives in the south.

[Anonymous]

Where are these women in DC?? I don’t know any of these women. I’m not poor or even dcum poor. Our HHI is >800k. I guess maybe I’m just not paying attention.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where are these women in DC?? I don’t know any of these women. I’m not poor or even dcum poor. Our HHI is >800k. I guess maybe I’m just not paying attention.

Have you ever been an attendee at the CharityWorks Dream Ball?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM isn’t a good representation of reality. Fact is most people really don’t care what you wear. Your average American isn’t going to notice designer items unless it’s pointed out to them. Hell, your average American isn’t even looking at what people are wearing. It’s only a VERY small group of people who obsess over the social hierarchy (many of which try to prove their superiority by the fact that they don’t wear designer).

Personally I wish women would stop hating on each other over dumb stuff. Who cares. Also personally, I am INSANELY jealous of the women OP describes. I badly wished I had married wealthy enough to be one of those women. But instead of hating on them, I always find a way to connect with the person underneath.

Lol yeah at least you don't feel the need to prove your superiority

Literally every woman on here is trying to prove their superiority over each other. It’s stupid.

[Anonymous]

I don’t like being a sheep, so I seek out things I actually like. I tend to favor items that are unique, hard to find. Other women seem to admire that.
Women who feel they have to wear the label everyone else is wearing are just obviously trying to ft in and show off, why not be yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like being a sheep, so I seek out things I actually like. I tend to favor items that are unique, hard to find. Other women seem to admire that.
Women who feel they have to wear the label everyone else is wearing are just obviously trying to ft in and show off, why not be yourself?

I think the issue is that a lot of women don't have a unique self to be. This is who they are -- sheep who will buy and wear what they were told by the powers that be, which in this case are other women who similarly are risk averse and unoriginal.

Let the lemmings run.