Women (or men too I guess) did you change your last name after marriage?

[Anonymous]

I didn’t change my name, honestly it seems antiquated to me.

If anything, I regret not giving my daughters my name or at least a double last name name- (not hyphenated)

I’m tired of living in a patriarchy, can you tell?

[Anonymous]

I got married last year. I didn't change my name. I might at some point, maybe when I have kids, but first we had our honeymoon, then I sold my condo, now we have another international trip plan and there just doesn't seem to be a good time to 'change over' all my information.

I don't really care if people call me "Mrs. HusbandsLastName" or "The HusbandsLastNames", but I hate when people send me things addressed to "Mrs. Joe HusbandsLastName".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t change my name, honestly it seems antiquated to me.

If anything, I regret not giving my daughters my name or at least a double last name name- (not hyphenated)

I’m tired of living in a patriarchy, can you tell?

Sad for you and family

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t and somehow when my old friends send me something, noting it is from ‘THE HINKLEBOTTOMS’ rather than from how I think of them ‘Jane Maiden Name’ it strikes me as a little creepy stepford. My issue, I’m sure, but it does strike me

Yes. Spouses and children having the same last name is part of being a family.

Sounds like a Phyllis Schlafly follower and a graduate of Liberty University.

[Anonymous]

I changed mine 25 years ago and remain happy with the decision and with dh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t and somehow when my old friends send me something, noting it is from ‘THE HINKLEBOTTOMS’ rather than from how I think of them ‘Jane Maiden Name’ it strikes me as a little creepy stepford. My issue, I’m sure, but it does strike me

Yes. Spouses and children having the same last name is part of being a family.

Sounds like a Phyllis Schlafly follower and a graduate of Liberty University.

80% of college educated women change their last name? Do they all attend liberty?

[Anonymous]

Been married since 1986 and I kept my name. My DH hates his name. We gave our 3kids just the first letter of his last name as their middle name.

[Anonymous]

^^^
kids have my last name, obviously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t and somehow when my old friends send me something, noting it is from ‘THE HINKLEBOTTOMS’ rather than from how I think of them ‘Jane Maiden Name’ it strikes me as a little creepy stepford. My issue, I’m sure, but it does strike me

Very few men change their names. I changed mine but do regret it. Wish I had kept my name

[Anonymous]

My sister quickly hated changing her name. So after 2 years of using her husbands name, she hyphenated for 10 years. Then she simply dropped the husband's name and now has her original name again.

I never changed mine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t and somehow when my old friends send me something, noting it is from ‘THE HINKLEBOTTOMS’ rather than from how I think of them ‘Jane Maiden Name’ it strikes me as a little creepy stepford. My issue, I’m sure, but it does strike me

me too. but i think of the general tradition of women who take their husband's names as creepy stepford.

Labeling women who take their husband’s name as stepford is a bit narrow. In 2024, the real goal is having the freedom to choose what feels right—whether that’s keeping your name or sharing one. Taking a partner’s last name isn’t about losing individuality; it’s often about simplifying life and showing commitment. It’s a personal choice with meaning, and it deserves respect, not shame

I am the person you are quoting.
Women have a lot of choices and freedom in 2024.
I find the choice to change the name "because it feels right" extra weird (esp because it's usually saying 1950 "feels right," and - barring exceptional circumstances -- I don't respect rhe choice, sorry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote: It’s definitely a personal choice, but changing to a shared last name can simplify things a lot in daily life—whether it’s paperwork, travel, or even how others see you as a family.

To give some perspective, about 70% of college-educated women and 80% of non-college-educated women in the U.S. take their spouse's last name. Even high-profile professional women like Hillary Clinton and Michelle Obama made the change, and they’re known for being pretty liberal.

Having a shared last name also shows commitment and can help avoid misunderstandings, like assumptions about being recently divorced, a new mom, or even just difficult. And if you’re considering hyphenation, just a heads-up: it can get really confusing! It’s tough enough for daily things, but think about when your kids marry—how many hyphens are they going to have to carry? It can quickly get out of hand and becomes more complex with each generation.

In the end, it’s all about what works best for you both, but there’s a lot to be said for the simplicity and unity that come with sharing a family name

Dude, Hillary is old. So is Michelle really. These are not contemporary examples.

I kept my name. Kids have their dads. I do regret that tbh but that’s another issue. No one bats an eye. It’s not less simple. In a way, far more because there’s no gap in my career achievements- eg publications before marriage. Its 2024. Teachers etc understand different last names. I’ll let you in on a secret - many of them aren’t changing their names either.

Keeping separate last names might be more accepted now, but it still creates avoidable complications. The majority of women—over 70% of college-educated and 80% of non-college-educated—still choose to take their spouse’s name, and it’s not just about tradition. A shared name simplifies everything from legal documents to social interactions, clearly showing family unity.

Yes, teachers may recognize different last names, but a single family name prevents misunderstandings and assumptions about family dynamics. And hyphenating? That’s a short-term fix. Future generations face the hassle of multiple hyphens, which just isn’t sustainable.

Career identity can be preserved through other means, so let’s not pretend that keeping separate names is the only progressive choice—it often adds more complexity than it’s worth

What complications are avoided? I fill out plenty of legal documents and keeping my maiden name has never made anything more complicated. I would love actual examples of all these alleged situations that can be simplified. Schools are pretty adept at navigating family dynamics so the idea that sharing a family name somehow prevents "misunderstands and assumptions" ignores what families actually look like today. Kids might have two moms or dads, or are being raised by their grandparents or other family members. Schools are much more sensitive to family dynamics and specifically DON'T make assumptions about any of it. Whether everyone shares a name doesn't even matter.

And if a family needs to share a single name to show unity (to themselves or the outside world), they have bigger problems.

4 kids, living overseas for years, literally never an issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t and somehow when my old friends send me something, noting it is from ‘THE HINKLEBOTTOMS’ rather than from how I think of them ‘Jane Maiden Name’ it strikes me as a little creepy stepford. My issue, I’m sure, but it does strike me

me too. but i think of the general tradition of women who take their husband's names as creepy stepford.

Labeling women who take their husband’s name as stepford is a bit narrow. In 2024, the real goal is having the freedom to choose what feels right—whether that’s keeping your name or sharing one. Taking a partner’s last name isn’t about losing individuality; it’s often about simplifying life and showing commitment. It’s a personal choice with meaning, and it deserves respect, not shame

I am the person you are quoting.
Women have a lot of choices and freedom in 2024.
I find the choice to change the name "because it feels right" extra weird (esp because it's usually saying 1950 "feels right," and - barring exceptional circumstances -- I don't respect rhe choice, sorry.

NP. I think it’s weird to think people who make different choices than you would make are weird and creepy.

We can do better and treat all people with respect, even when we don’t agree with them or their choices.

[Anonymous]

I did not. One of our kids has my last name and one has his. I expected that to cause small bureaucratic complications throughout our lives but it basically never has and they are teens now.

[Anonymous]

I wish I hadn’t changed it.

Now I feel that was my identity, who I was born with- and I shouldn't have changed it.