Vent: Invited to 4 child-free weddings this summer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

If your kids are in the wedding party, I imagine you’re pretty close to the bride or groom. What they’re doing is insulting. If they truly want child free, they shouldn’t have children in the wedding party.

Op here. That’s the thing- my girls are insulted. They’re still in the Princess stage still and are enamored by all things wedding. They’re very well behaved and are 8 and 9, so they’re not young at all. I understand not wanting kids under 5 at a wedding (I wouldn’t bring our baby even if they were invited.)

The way I’ve been looking at it is do I want my girls to be flower girls? The answer is yes. If I didn’t I would have declined for them. I guess I’m glad they’re invited to the wedding part.

Not being invited to the rehearsal dinner is really pissing me off though. Dh and I have to be there since we’re both in the wedding. I think I’ll just take the girls to a different restaurant next door while dh eats. It’s not local so it’s not like we can go home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

If your kids are in the wedding party, I imagine you’re pretty close to the bride or groom. What they’re doing is insulting. If they truly want child free, they shouldn’t have children in the wedding party.

Op here. That’s the thing- my girls are insulted. They’re still in the Princess stage still and are enamored by all things wedding. They’re very well behaved and are 8 and 9, so they’re not young at all. I understand not wanting kids under 5 at a wedding (I wouldn’t bring our baby even if they were invited.)

The way I’ve been looking at it is do I want my girls to be flower girls? The answer is yes. If I didn’t I would have declined for them. I guess I’m glad they’re invited to the wedding part.

Not being invited to the rehearsal dinner is really pissing me off though. Dh and I have to be there since we’re both in the wedding. I think I’ll just take the girls to a different restaurant next door while dh eats. It’s not local so it’s not like we can go home.

Oops I’m not OP. I’m just the pp

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The kids take over the dance floor, spill things, cry, etc. Just not cute. IMO weddings are for adults.

Oh my goodness. The kids taking over the dance floor was just about my FAVORITE thing at my wedding!!!! I loved it so much. Still makes me smile after all these years.

By the way I think this is a cultural thing.

If you like that sort of thing. But I've also seen kids ruin first dances by breakdancing on the dance floor during the couple's first dance. Or the time my friend, the bride, danced with her dad who was in his wheelchair while suffering from ALS. He would die a few months later. But kids were tearing it up around them and the bride was not pleased. Selfish parents who probably thought it was all "so stinking cute" obvious to everyone else and without a modicum of propriety. Respect the wishes of the brides and grooms and what they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

If your kids are in the wedding party, I imagine you’re pretty close to the bride or groom. What they’re doing is insulting. If they truly want child free, they shouldn’t have children in the wedding party.

Op here. That’s the thing- my girls are insulted. They’re still in the Princess stage still and are enamored by all things wedding. They’re very well behaved and are 8 and 9, so they’re not young at all. I understand not wanting kids under 5 at a wedding (I wouldn’t bring our baby even if they were invited.)

Why do you think you have to do all these things? Have the girls in the wedding? Attend the rehearsal dinner? Just say no.

The way I’ve been looking at it is do I want my girls to be flower girls? The answer is yes. If I didn’t I would have declined for them. I guess I’m glad they’re invited to the wedding part.

Not being invited to the rehearsal dinner is really pissing me off though. Dh and I have to be there since we’re both in the wedding. I think I’ll just take the girls to a different restaurant next door while dh eats. It’s not local so it’s not like we can go home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

If your kids are in the wedding party, I imagine you’re pretty close to the bride or groom. What they’re doing is insulting. If they truly want child free, they shouldn’t have children in the wedding party.

Op here. That’s the thing- my girls are insulted. They’re still in the Princess stage still and are enamored by all things wedding. They’re very well behaved and are 8 and 9, so they’re not young at all. I understand not wanting kids under 5 at a wedding (I wouldn’t bring our baby even if they were invited.)

The way I’ve been looking at it is do I want my girls to be flower girls? The answer is yes. If I didn’t I would have declined for them. I guess I’m glad they’re invited to the wedding part.

Not being invited to the rehearsal dinner is really pissing me off though. Dh and I have to be there since we’re both in the wedding. I think I’ll just take the girls to a different restaurant next door while dh eats. It’s not local so it’s not like we can go home.

Why do you think you have to do all these things? Have the girls in the wedding? Attend the rehearsal dinner? Just say no.

[Anonymous]

I would never expect children the bride and groom didn't know to be invited to the wedding. The people who have invited my kids are all people who knew and liked my kids (some family, some not). But if a wedding is not convenient for us for whatever reason, we send our regrets and move on.

[Anonymous]

Kids are a Waste of money at weddings. Why do so many people still make a big deal about this? $39 for your kids to eat chicken fingers and then you leave early to accommodate their bedtime is a waste of money. Period.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

NP. I don’t have young kids and I hate child-free weddings. They are always boring, always just tedious exercises in narcissism. I agree, I would rather just not be invited.

If you're that bored, you'd probably be bored in any environment geared towards adults. That's nothing to brag about. It speaks to some poor social skills.

Oh, no. I go to many, many events that are geared towards adults. Those are enjoyable, because they aren’t the tedious celebration of narcissism that child free weddings are. I realize you are a narcissistic bride who is in a rage that not everyone wants to fawn over you, but you will have to get over that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

NP. I don’t have young kids and I hate child-free weddings. They are always boring, always just tedious exercises in narcissism. I agree, I would rather just not be invited.

If you're that bored, you'd probably be bored in any environment geared towards adults. That's nothing to brag about. It speaks to some poor social skills.

Oh, no. I go to many, many events that are geared towards adults. Those are enjoyable, because they aren’t the tedious celebration of narcissism that child free weddings are. I realize you are a narcissistic bride who is in a rage that not everyone wants to fawn over you, but you will have to get over that.

I've been married for almost 20 years so, miss me with your wild accusations. Your kids are brats and that's why they're not invited.

[Anonymous]

To the pp. I would not attend the rehearsal dinner. I would attend just the wedding ceremony where my girls could walk and I probably would not attend the reception. I would go and have fun with my family!

[Anonymous]

I agree it’s off putting but it just seems to be the norm these days.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've been attending weddings for 20 years and this is the 2nd to 5th time I've been invited to child-free weddings. I don't get it. At least for one wedding we know we're one of only 2 people with kids in the family. It's just so off putting. I'd frankly rather not be invited.

NP. I don’t have young kids and I hate child-free weddings. They are always boring, always just tedious exercises in narcissism. I agree, I would rather just not be invited.

If you're that bored, you'd probably be bored in any environment geared towards adults. That's nothing to brag about. It speaks to some poor social skills.

Oh, no. I go to many, many events that are geared towards adults. Those are enjoyable, because they aren’t the tedious celebration of narcissism that child free weddings are. I realize you are a narcissistic bride who is in a rage that not everyone wants to fawn over you, but you will have to get over that.

I've been married for almost 20 years so, miss me with your wild accusations. Your kids are brats and that's why they're not invited.

Just because you’ve been married for twenty years does not mean you aren’t a raging narcissist having a temper tantrum. I’m sure you were a bridezilla on your wedding day, and now you defend bridezillas.

Also, you can’t read. I don’t have young kids. My kids are older teens and adults, and when they were kids, were always invited. Fortunately, that was before this current trend of wedding-as-social-media-event started, and unbridled narcissism from brides was considered quite tacky. I miss those days, honestly. Going to current weddings where the guests are just props for the bride’s socials is so soulless and tacky.

[Anonymous]

Def a bridezilla thing. Even when it’s your day, still not the center of the world. Kids are a part of the community. Folks have really gotten too precious about their expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sympathies. I can beat you! Dh and I are both in a wedding. Our kids are flower girls. And they aren’t invited to the wedding. Our baby isn’t invited at all. It’s insanity trying to figure this out. We basically have a series of babysitters working long hours. And the baby is headed hours away to grandparents. It kills me that they’re invited to the rehearsal but not the rehearsal dinner. Don’t they realize how impossible this is for parents? The reason they aren’t invited to the reception is cost and because everyone has kids, which I get. But our girls are pretty devastated at not getting to go. I sit then down before every meeting and forbid them from mentioning it at all. We aren’t local to the wedding.

I too had a childfree wedding but we also didn’t know any kids. Our flower girl did come.

Lots of irony in your post.

[Anonymous]

I declined a family wedding that I actually really wanted to attend because it was child free. I don't have a place to stash my kids while I travel out of state for a weekend. But the couple deserves to have the kind of wedding they want, and I don't begrudge them the choice.