DD has to wake up DH on school mornings

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:A nine year old should absolutely be capable of hanging by themselves for a half hour. Hell, they should be capable of locking the door and going to the bus stop on time without adult supervision.


This. BUT, if DH is going to take her to the bus stop, he should be responsible for setting an alarm clock and getting up on his own. What time are we talking? Laziness is such a turn off, but I am sure you were aware of his laziness before marrying him.


OP here. They need to be out the door by 7:40am to get to the bus. It's not that she can't or isn't responsible for herself, I just think he's being lazy. He actually wasn't lazy at all when I met him.

Did his mama baby him?
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm stunned by some of these responses.

I'm the mom in the family and am wired as a night owl. When the kids were super little I managed to get up early with them, but it was very difficult for me and I was often exhausted.

Now that they're early elem, DH gets up with them in the morning, and I'm scrambling out of bed at 7:45 to take them to school. Two days a week when DH is in the office, the kids get themselves breakfast since DH leaves early those days.

I'm not having an affair. I'm fit. I'm not depressed. My internal clock is just wired differently.


OP here. I'm sure that's what he would say too (and I don't think he's depressed or having an affair and he is fit). But my thing is as an adult, you have to do things you don't want to do sometimes. I don't WANT to get up at 5am so I can be in the office early to leave early to make our family life go 'round. Our life would be infinitely easier if I didn't work, but any time I've suggested that to DH, he's in shock and says I make too much money to quit ... ok, fine, but why is it fair to me to get up even earlier so you can get your sleep in the morning?

Plus, what are we teaching DD? She has to be up by a certain time for school (and it's not even that early) so why is it expected of her and not her parents? Sure, she's largely self sufficient, but I just don't think it's asking too much for him to get up 30 minutes earlier to spend a little bit of time together in the morning when he's not able to spend much time with her at night (his work and her activities). Also I don't like making her stress and watch the clock to make sure he's up in time. That's parenting your parents.


OP, I agree with you. This dynamic is very unhealthy in lots of different ways.

What are you going to do about it?
Anonymous
I would raise it with him and it's not ideal. But seriously don't think it's the biggest deal in the world if it were just this issue. People aren't morning people. The kid is fine by herself. But sounds like there are some broader issues going on.
Anonymous
OP I'd be super pissed! It's the principle that everyone has to get up and get going except an adult in the family? Uh, no.
Anonymous
Sounds like you married a loser. Divorce him.
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