Is 7 "too old" for first grade?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the? My kid was 7 in 2nd grade.

Yes, so was I. Clearly 7 in the first grade is not uncommon at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the? My kid was 7 in 2nd grade.

My 7 in 2nd grade kid just got a 1570 on his first SAT as a 15 year old high school junior.
What's nice is that he has the luxury of time to take a gap year and collect himself before he spends the next couple of years back in the grind of school that is college.

[Anonymous]

I have a September birth, child will be 7 in first all year. Cut off in MD is September 1st. If your son has a summer birthday, not an issue (very common).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the? My kid was 7 in 2nd grade.

My 7 in 2nd grade kid just got a 1570 on his first SAT as a 15 year old high school junior.
What's nice is that he has the luxury of time to take a gap year and collect himself before he spends the next couple of years back in the grind of school that is college.

Anyone can do that. There is no requirement to start college at age 18

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, 7 is not too old for first grade, as "on time" kids start tuning 7 on the first day of school and sooner. My Fall boys were 7 for nearly all of first grade.

The question is whether you agree that homeschooling has held you child back socially. How often has your child been in a situation with 16-20 age mates for extended time?

This will be no different for the child in first or second. Either way, he’s with a new, large group of children who have already been in school for at least a year. No justification there.

OP - the school needs to fill the first grade class and has enough kids for second. That is the ONLY reason. If this were kindergarten, I would maybe believe them but in first grade the kids will already have been in school a year and they’ll all be adjusted to school. Either way, your child will be the “odd man out” when everyone else knows the rules and knows the school.

Do what you want, plenty of August kids will already be 7 in first grade but the social emotional needs to adjust excuse is utter BS.

THIS OP. Your child will be with kids who have already been in school in either grade. The social emotional adjustment excuse makes absolutely no sense.

But it sounds like you've already made up your mind. I don't know why you even bothered asking the question when you argue with anyone who says your child should start in 2nd.

[Anonymous]

OP you need to ask this on the private school forums. In most private schools kids born in August before 1st grade have just turned 7. There might be some exceptions for girls but all the boys who were born in the summer along with some May (and maybe even an April birthday) will have turned seven before 1st grade starts.
What the school is suggesting is extremely common for private schools. So the ages for most private schools are:
K: Start at age 6 and stay 6 the entire school year or start at 5 and turn 6 by the end of the school year. (exception might be for a May birthday who will turn 7 or a mature girl)
1: start at age 7 and stay 7 the whole school year or start at 6 and turn 7 during the school year
2nd start at age 8 and stay 8 the whole school year or start at 7 and turn 8 during the school year.

So your child in most private schools should be going into 1st next year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, 7 is not too old for first grade, as "on time" kids start tuning 7 on the first day of school and sooner. My Fall boys were 7 for nearly all of first grade.

The question is whether you agree that homeschooling has held you child back socially. How often has your child been in a situation with 16-20 age mates for extended time?

This will be no different for the child in first or second. Either way, he’s with a new, large group of children who have already been in school for at least a year. No justification there.


OP - the school needs to fill the first grade class and has enough kids for second. That is the ONLY reason. If this were kindergarten, I would maybe believe them but in first grade the kids will already have been in school a year and they’ll all be adjusted to school. Either way, your child will be the “odd man out” when everyone else knows the rules and knows the school.

Do what you want, plenty of August kids will already be 7 in first grade but the social emotional needs to adjust excuse is utter BS.

THIS OP. Your child will be with kids who have already been in school in either grade. The social emotional adjustment excuse makes absolutely no sense.

But it sounds like you've already made up your mind. I don't know why you even bothered asking the question when you argue with anyone who says your child should start in 2nd.

OP here. I asked this question this morning just to get some feedback (which clearly wasn't a good idea for the Internet 🙃). I've identified myself in almost every reply, there's just a few I forgot to put that upfront.

I haven't been arguing with anyone. Those are other people being rude and nasty.

I have made up my mind at this point after weighing the options (mostly in my head and with speaking with my husband).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the? My kid was 7 in 2nd grade.

Most kids are…

The kids are going on 8. The only 7 yr olds all year are summer birthdays, 25% of the class. 75% will be 8 in 2nd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Almost all of the kids in the class will turn 7 by the end of the school year. A few will be 7 before school starts

Just like in second grade, so your argument holds no water.

Kids are 8 in 2nd grade. Mine has been 8 since November.

Kids should be 7 when they start 2nd grade and turn 8 either during the school year or shortly after the school year.

THE RULES, according to random DCUM poster.

Lol!

[Anonymous]

Totally normal. My kid turns 7 just after the start of 1st grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What the? My kid was 7 in 2nd grade.

My 7 in 2nd grade kid just got a 1570 on his first SAT as a 15 year old high school junior.
What's nice is that he has the luxury of time to take a gap year and collect himself before he spends the next couple of years back in the grind of school that is college.

He doesn't have the luxury of time. You get same amount of time either way. It's how he chooses to spend it. Only kids of rich parents take a "gap" year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Totally normal. My kid turns 7 just after the start of 1st grade.

Mine turned 6 right as 1st was starting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Totally normal. My kid turns 7 just after the start of 1st grade.

Mine turned 6 right as 1st was starting.

It’s a range. Maybe your child turned 6 end of Aug and started first grade. Maybe someone else’s was 6 when school started but had a birthday and turned 7 in Sept, Oct, or Nov. Both of these situations are within normal. Age 6 or 7 are normal for first grade age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

As a second-grade teacher at a highly regarded private school in the DMV area, I'd like to share my perspective.

Please understand that my feedback is not personal. It's from many years of experience. Nobody is judging you.
Likewise, I urge you to answer the questions honestly and without emotion.

As someone already immersed in this environment, my sole aim is to assist you in securing the best possible outcome for your son, okay? 🙂

Based on the information you provided in earlier posts, it would seem as if your son has not been exposed to:

• Any form of schooling (daycare, preschool/nursery school, elementary)

• Organized sports, clubs, or hobbies (such as weekly in-person soccer, t-ball, art, gaming, dance, drama, music, cooking, boy scouting, etc)

• Regular playdates with peers (defined as weekly)

• Close in person relationships with cousins or family members of the same age

I'm also curious about the extent of his social interactions with other children over the past three years?
For instance, has he frequented parks where he could engage with the same group of children regularly?

If the answer is no to the aforementioned above, then in my professional opinion, it seems that he has been too deprived of sufficient learning experiences with peers in a structured, formal environment to transition successfully into second grade.

That type of experiential learning cannot be acquired through computer screens or television shows, nor can it be cultivated solely within a singular student homeschooling environment.
It can only be gained through experience.
By living, breathing, feeling, and experiencing it firsthand, and for extended periods of time in a formal school-like environment.

In addition, given your feedback that both your home life & homeschooling environments lack structure, it is essential to recognize the existence of this gap.

Those who are advocating for second grade are failing to grasp this fundamental point.

Your son not only lacks experience in structured learning but also hasn't had the benefit of being socialized with other children.
If your son had regular social interaction with peers his own age OR had been in a structured, regulated, rule-based learning environment, second grade may have been feasible.

However, the truth remains that he hasn't been exposed to either, which will pose a significant challenge for him.

I'm concerned that second grade would overwhelm him, setting him up for failure and disappointment.
If he were my child, I would heed the principals advice and place him in the first grade.

Transitioning from little to no social interaction with peers his own age in a second-grade rule-based environment could prove disastrous for him.

Both myself and the principal are always impartial; our one goal is to place your child in the best possible learning environment for them to succeed. Please disregard anyone suggesting otherwise (shame on the poster who suggested it was a money grab).

Your son desperately needs to learn essential classroom etiquette, such as waiting his turn, lining up quietly, respecting the rules, participating attentively during lessons, and showing consideration and respect for his classmates.
In lacking these crucial skills, he may find it challenging to keep pace within the classroom. Children tend to get frustrated with classmates who struggle, which could cause him to become a target for teasing or bullying (particularly if he seems less mature than his classmates).

It's important to note that most children in private school have already spent one to two years in class together and are already adapted to classroom rules. Private school classes are very small, thus the same kids are usually in class together year after year.

Placing your son in second grade would require him to seamlessly integrate, which is likely to prove challenging given his background.

First grade offers a much more relaxed and playful environment compared to the measured, structured and organized nature of second grade and second grade curriculum.

As a teacher with over 20 years of experience teaching in private schools, I've seen the repercussions of rushing a child into a grade that they're not mentally ready for.
I've never once had a parent regret holding their child back, but many have wished they hadn't pushed them too soon.

If he struggles in second grade and is moved back to first, he may face teasing from peers who will always remember that he was "held back" in second grade (kids can be cruel).
Placing him in first grade now will avoid any stigma associated with being "held back" and it will be a much smoother transition for him from being exclusively homeschooled.

Again, what I'm expressing to you is not personal, so please don't interpret it that way.
The foundation of my feedback comes from many years of experience.

What's important is that you prioritize his well-being as well as his academic success.
You can accomplish this by making the best possible decision for his current stage in his educational journey, rather than focusing on where he conventionally should be.

Good luck! 🙂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

As a second-grade teacher at a highly regarded private school in the DMV area, I'd like to share my perspective.

Please understand that my feedback is not personal. It's from many years of experience. Nobody is judging you.
Likewise, I urge you to answer the questions honestly and without emotion.

As someone already immersed in this environment, my sole aim is to assist you in securing the best possible outcome for your son, okay? 🙂

Based on the information you provided in earlier posts, it would seem as if your son has not been exposed to:

• Any form of schooling (daycare, preschool/nursery school, elementary)

• Organized sports, clubs, or hobbies (such as weekly in-person soccer, t-ball, art, gaming, dance, drama, music, cooking, boy scouting, etc)

• Regular playdates with peers (defined as weekly)

• Close in person relationships with cousins or family members of the same age

I'm also curious about the extent of his social interactions with other children over the past three years?
For instance, has he frequented parks where he could engage with the same group of children regularly?

If the answer is no to the aforementioned above, then in my professional opinion, it seems that he has been too deprived of sufficient learning experiences with peers in a structured, formal environment to transition successfully into second grade.

That type of experiential learning cannot be acquired through computer screens or television shows, nor can it be cultivated solely within a singular student homeschooling environment.
It can only be gained through experience.
By living, breathing, feeling, and experiencing it firsthand, and for extended periods of time in a formal school-like environment.

In addition, given your feedback that both your home life & homeschooling environments lack structure, it is essential to recognize the existence of this gap.

Those who are advocating for second grade are failing to grasp this fundamental point.

Your son not only lacks experience in structured learning but also hasn't had the benefit of being socialized with other children.
If your son had regular social interaction with peers his own age OR had been in a structured, regulated, rule-based learning environment, second grade may have been feasible.

However, the truth remains that he hasn't been exposed to either, which will pose a significant challenge for him.

I'm concerned that second grade would overwhelm him, setting him up for failure and disappointment.
If he were my child, I would heed the principals advice and place him in the first grade.

Transitioning from little to no social interaction with peers his own age in a second-grade rule-based environment could prove disastrous for him.

Both myself and the principal are always impartial; our one goal is to place your child in the best possible learning environment for them to succeed. Please disregard anyone suggesting otherwise (shame on the poster who suggested it was a money grab).

Your son desperately needs to learn essential classroom etiquette, such as waiting his turn, lining up quietly, respecting the rules, participating attentively during lessons, and showing consideration and respect for his classmates.
In lacking these crucial skills, he may find it challenging to keep pace within the classroom. Children tend to get frustrated with classmates who struggle, which could cause him to become a target for teasing or bullying (particularly if he seems less mature than his classmates).

It's important to note that most children in private school have already spent one to two years in class together and are already adapted to classroom rules. Private school classes are very small, thus the same kids are usually in class together year after year.

Placing your son in second grade would require him to seamlessly integrate, which is likely to prove challenging given his background.

First grade offers a much more relaxed and playful environment compared to the measured, structured and organized nature of second grade and second grade curriculum.

As a teacher with over 20 years of experience teaching in private schools, I've seen the repercussions of rushing a child into a grade that they're not mentally ready for.
I've never once had a parent regret holding their child back, but many have wished they hadn't pushed them too soon.

If he struggles in second grade and is moved back to first, he may face teasing from peers who will always remember that he was "held back" in second grade (kids can be cruel).
Placing him in first grade now will avoid any stigma associated with being "held back" and it will be a much smoother transition for him from being exclusively homeschooled.

Again, what I'm expressing to you is not personal, so please don't interpret it that way.
The foundation of my feedback comes from many years of experience.

What's important is that you prioritize his well-being as well as his academic success.
You can accomplish this by making the best possible decision for his current stage in his educational journey, rather than focusing on where he conventionally should be.

Good luck! 🙂

This was such a well thought out and considerate post, while also serving brutal, much needed truths.

I'm surprised OP didn't at least say thank you to the PP for typing all of this important info out for her.
It was a very nice thing for the PP to do.

You need to wake up, OP.
You can't blame covid, you can't blame your moves, or whatever else you're using as an excuse or a scapegoat a to why you didn't make an effort to step up for your kid, because the fact of the matter is, you've totally failed your son up until this point as far as structured learning, but far more important, his socialization goes.

Everyone suffered through covid & closures. E-VER-Y-ONE.
It wasn't just your kid.
My spouse is military, and we've had to move three times in five years.
However, the very first thing I made sure to do wherever we moved, was to get my kids involved in as many activities, sports & clubs possible, so they could make new friends in the new town we moved to and they'd have some friends in school.

Your child is definitely going to be awkward in a new environment with new kids, especially when all of those kids know each other already and yours hasn't been exposed at all to hanging out with other kids.

Your child doesn't have friends, doesn't have classmates, doesn't participate in clubs, doesn't play sports, doesn't have regular playdates, doesn't have similar aged relatives locally, etc. etc. etc, AND your homeschooling is on the lax side too?? Yikes.
Sorry, but this sounds like lazy parenting.

You need to step up big time for your kid, OP. You weren't helping them by isolating them away from the rest of the world, you were hurting them.