Reply to Is 7 "too old" for first grade?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.[/quote]

As a second-grade teacher at a highly regarded private school in the DMV area, I'd like to share my perspective.

Please understand that my feedback is not personal. It's from many years of experience.  Nobody is judging you.
Likewise, I urge you to answer the questions honestly and without emotion.

As someone already immersed in this environment, my sole aim is to assist you in securing the best possible outcome for your son, okay? 🙂

Based on the information you provided in earlier posts, it would seem as if your son has not been exposed to:

• Any form of schooling (daycare, preschool/nursery school, elementary)

• Organized sports, clubs, or hobbies (such as weekly in-person soccer, t-ball, art, gaming, dance, drama, music, cooking, boy scouting, etc)

• Regular playdates with peers (defined as weekly)

• Close in person relationships with cousins or family members of the same age

I'm also curious about the extent of his social interactions with other children over the past three years? 
For instance, has he frequented parks where he could engage with the same group of children regularly?

If the answer is no to the aforementioned above, then in my professional opinion, it seems that he has been too deprived of sufficient learning experiences with peers in a structured, formal environment to transition successfully into second grade.

That type of experiential learning cannot be acquired through computer screens or television shows, nor can it be cultivated solely within a singular student homeschooling environment.
It can only be gained through experience.
By living, breathing, feeling, and experiencing it firsthand, and for extended periods of time in a formal school-like environment.

In addition, given your feedback that both your home life & homeschooling environments lack structure, it is essential to recognize the existence of this gap.

[b]Those who are advocating for second grade are failing to grasp this fundamental point.[/b]

Your son not only lacks experience in structured learning but also hasn't had the benefit of being socialized with other children. 
If your son had regular social interaction with peers his own age OR had been in a structured, regulated, rule-based learning environment, second grade may have been feasible.

However, the truth remains that he hasn't been exposed to either, which will pose a significant challenge for him.

I'm concerned that second grade would overwhelm him, setting him up for failure and disappointment. 
If he were my child, I would heed the principals advice and place him in the first grade.

Transitioning from little to no social interaction with peers his own age in a second-grade rule-based environment could prove disastrous for him.

Both myself and the principal are always impartial; our one goal is to place your child in the best possible learning environment for them to succeed. Please disregard anyone suggesting otherwise [i](shame on the poster who suggested it was a money grab)[/i].

Your son desperately needs to learn essential classroom etiquette, such as waiting his turn, lining up quietly, respecting the rules, participating attentively during lessons, and showing consideration and respect for his classmates.
In lacking these crucial skills, he may find it challenging to keep pace within the classroom.  Children tend to get frustrated with classmates who struggle, which could cause him to become a target for teasing or bullying (particularly if he seems less mature than his classmates).

It's important to note that most children in private school have already spent one to two years in class together and are already adapted to classroom rules.  Private school classes are very small, thus the same kids are usually in class together year after year.

Placing your son in second grade would require him to seamlessly integrate, which is likely to prove challenging given his background.

First grade offers a much more relaxed and playful environment compared to the measured, structured and organized nature of second grade and second grade curriculum.

As a teacher with over 20 years of experience teaching in private schools, I've seen the repercussions of rushing a child into a grade that they're not mentally ready for. 
I've never once had a parent regret holding their child back, but many have wished they hadn't pushed them too soon.

If he struggles in second grade and is moved back to first, he may face teasing from peers who will always remember that he was "held back" in second grade (kids can be cruel). 
Placing him in first grade now will avoid any stigma associated with being "held back" and it will be a much smoother transition for him from being exclusively homeschooled.

Again, what I'm expressing to you is not personal, so please don't interpret it that way.
The foundation of my feedback comes from many years of experience.

What's important is that you prioritize his well-being as well as his academic success. 
You can accomplish this by making the best possible decision for his [i]current[/i] stage in his educational journey, rather than focusing on where he conventionally [i]should[/i] be.

Good luck! 🙂[/quote]

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