Is 7 "too old" for first grade?

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I have a child with a similar birthday. It's a challenging birthday because no matter what you do, they will be on the edge of the age curve. So there's no right answer, but that also means there's no wrong answer.

My child started 1st at just turned 6 and it's been fine. However, if the school had recommended starting 1st at 7, I would have been totally fine with that. In some ways it's better to have the school tell you what they think will work best because then you don't have to guess and you can be more confident that they will provide your child with the support he needs, whether he's among the youngest or among the oldest.

No, it is not best for that school to make that decision. Are you crazy and a lazy parent?

Ah, I recognize you.

Yes, it is best for the school to make that decision because they will have a far better idea of what the age range of other kids in the grade will be, as well as what will be expected of children in the grade and what skills the kids will be expected to have coming in. Especially in a private school, they are best able to make a recommendation. A parent might know their own child well, but especially coming to a school for the very first time after traveling, can't really have any idea of what the classroom environment will be like or what the other kids are like.

School is not an individualized experience. It's a group experience. It works best when kids are ready for what they will be asked to do and when they will fall within the expected range of abilities and behaviors. If you want a fully individualized education, homeschool or hire tutors. If you want school, you will need to defer to their judgment on some of these things, and your judgment comes into play in choosing the school.

Thank you for confirming your lazy parenting.
I bet you would medicate OPs child too if it made your life easier.

Stay mad. It is working out so well for you.

Stay lazy. It is working out so well for you since you are only concerned about yourself.

You get that you're arguing with yourself here, right?

Then who are you arguing with?

No one, I'm not arguing. I noted in my original comment that as a parent of a child who has the same birthday (late August) that there are pluses and minuses both to sending "on time" and redshirting. We sent on time and it's been fine, we could have redshirted and that would have been fine. My recommendation is to listen to the school's recommendation because give that it can really go either way, I'd heavily weight what the school thinks you should do because it's a strong indication of what they will be best able and willing to support. Meaning that if they recommend redshirting, this is likely because they often recommend redshirting in similar circumstances and will have experience making sure kids in that position are well supported. And I might worry that going against the recommendation would result in my child being the youngest kid in a classroom with many redshirted summer birthdays, which would exacerbate any delays he might have due to homeschooling and moving around. I stand by this recommendation and no one has actually said anything in response to counter it.

The PP (who is probably you, just sockpuppeting manically) was triggered by some aspect of this, called me crazy and lazy and then accused me of wanting to forcibly medicate OP's child. This is, in a word, insane.

If you want to provide OP with some advice based on your experience or views on redshirting, I would encourage you to do so. Calling me names and accusing me of a bunch of stuff is unproductive. Yes, you are arguing with yourself.

Thank you for the dissertation that no one will read.

I would not take advice on education from someone who calls three paragraphs a "dissertation."

I would not this advice from someone who is so literal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As others have said, 7 is not too old for first grade, as "on time" kids start tuning 7 on the first day of school and sooner. My Fall boys were 7 for nearly all of first grade.

The question is whether you agree that homeschooling has held you child back socially. How often has your child been in a situation with 16-20 age mates for extended time?

This will be no different for the child in first or second. Either way, he’s with a new, large group of children who have already been in school for at least a year. No justification there.

OP - the school needs to fill the first grade class and has enough kids for second. That is the ONLY reason. If this were kindergarten, I would maybe believe them but in first grade the kids will already have been in school a year and they’ll all be adjusted to school. Either way, your child will be the “odd man out” when everyone else knows the rules and knows the school.

Do what you want, plenty of August kids will already be 7 in first grade but the social emotional needs to adjust excuse is utter BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older son has friends who turned 7 in July and August prior to 1st grade. My child turned 7 after the end of 1st grade.

Summer birthday kids are outliers no matter which way you go. Just do what is best for your kid. If his BD is truly “just before school” aka July / August / September, it should not be an issue.

Where people get all judgy is when kids turn 7 before the end of Kindergarten (March/April/May/sometimes June).

7 before 1st grade? That’s a bit over the top. Why not 8 or 9 before 1st grade. I mean, where does one draw the line?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Almost all of the kids in the class will turn 7 by the end of the school year. A few will be 7 before school starts

Just like in second grade, so your argument holds no water.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Put your child in the grade he is academically prepared for. If they cannot fit in socially, you can move them back. I promise though, you will not need to do that. Also, you have more than 6 months to prepare your child for that. Place your child in 2nd.

Not if the school turns them down for 2nd.

OP here - yes, I distinctly got the impression that if we said no, we still want to be considered for 2nd, then we'd be getting a "thanks, but no thanks" letter very soon.

Because I said okay to 1st grade evaluation instead, I think we're still in the running then.

They will take him for 2nd, they just want you to agree to 1st without any pushback.

OP here - I know I'm totally overthinking this, now that I've seen so many responses 🤣

I believe if they evaluate for 1st and accept at 1st, then that's what we'll be doing for the Fall. I don't get the impression that the question was a test.

Seemingly sounds like school has already decided what they want without doing its due diligence and what is best and appropriate for the child. Of course, they will say 1st grade because they already had their mind made up. I would not want my child to attend this school. This is not right. Red flags and I see OP as an easy target. -Dp.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

Understandable, the structure and routine will not be difficult and will be overcome in no time. It’s only second grade and not like upper grades where students need to concentrate more. There is still a lot of play in second grade and your child will fall in line to what the others are doing. Homeschool children typically are more mature and you mentioned you moved quite a bit so I would be willing to bet that your child is above level and can tolerate better than older kids.

My kiddo reads very well and is doing well in double digit math. Started reading chapter books recently. Language seems above a typical kid age - says words and uses descriptions that I know I didn't say at that age 😆

But yes, the biggest strike is not having formal structure because we are loosy goosy and don't have a routine. School said kiddo took longer to complete some tasks compared to others in class.

Granted, it was only one day, and the kids being compared are almost done with their first year.

Overall, though, I can improve on points made before the next school year if we are accepted.

Your kid will get it. That is so minor, he will figure it out and it will be quick. He just hasn’t had to do it, but he will when his peers are. Put him in second and I wish you luck on whatever choice you make.

I'd be fine with that, but again, got the impression if we said no to a grade 1 evaluation, then we'd be out for consideration.

Hello OP,
This is bothersome to me. Why are you pandering to the school? Maybe the school should be out for consideration by you. Everything reads it’s what the school wants and you are afraid of not getting in so you will do whatever they want. None of this reads what the child needs or what’s best for him or her. Besides that, I’m getting money grab vibes and or they are looking to fill a spot and it’s available in 1st more so than 2nd. This doesn’t feel right. Find another school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

Understandable, the structure and routine will not be difficult and will be overcome in no time. It’s only second grade and not like upper grades where students need to concentrate more. There is still a lot of play in second grade and your child will fall in line to what the others are doing. Homeschool children typically are more mature and you mentioned you moved quite a bit so I would be willing to bet that your child is above level and can tolerate better than older kids.

My kiddo reads very well and is doing well in double digit math. Started reading chapter books recently. Language seems above a typical kid age - says words and uses descriptions that I know I didn't say at that age 😆

But yes, the biggest strike is not having formal structure because we are loosy goosy and don't have a routine. School said kiddo took longer to complete some tasks compared to others in class.

Granted, it was only one day, and the kids being compared are almost done with their first year.

Overall, though, I can improve on points made before the next school year if we are accepted.

Your kid will get it. That is so minor, he will figure it out and it will be quick. He just hasn’t had to do it, but he will when his peers are. Put him in second and I wish you luck on whatever choice you make.

I'd be fine with that, but again, got the impression if we said no to a grade 1 evaluation, then we'd be out for consideration.

Hello OP,
This is bothersome to me. Why are you pandering to the school? Maybe the school should be out for consideration by you. Everything reads it’s what the school wants and you are afraid of not getting in so you will do whatever they want. None of this reads what the child needs or what’s best for him or her. Besides that, I’m getting money grab vibes and or they are looking to fill a spot and it’s available in 1st more so than 2nd. This doesn’t feel right. Find another school.

Well, if we make a big stink about it, then we'd almost certainly be told "no." So that would just defeat the purpose of applying.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

Understandable, the structure and routine will not be difficult and will be overcome in no time. It’s only second grade and not like upper grades where students need to concentrate more. There is still a lot of play in second grade and your child will fall in line to what the others are doing. Homeschool children typically are more mature and you mentioned you moved quite a bit so I would be willing to bet that your child is above level and can tolerate better than older kids.

My kiddo reads very well and is doing well in double digit math. Started reading chapter books recently. Language seems above a typical kid age - says words and uses descriptions that I know I didn't say at that age 😆

But yes, the biggest strike is not having formal structure because we are loosy goosy and don't have a routine. School said kiddo took longer to complete some tasks compared to others in class.

Granted, it was only one day, and the kids being compared are almost done with their first year.

Overall, though, I can improve on points made before the next school year if we are accepted.

Your kid will get it. That is so minor, he will figure it out and it will be quick. He just hasn’t had to do it, but he will when his peers are. Put him in second and I wish you luck on whatever choice you make.

I'd be fine with that, but again, got the impression if we said no to a grade 1 evaluation, then we'd be out for consideration.

Hello OP,
This is bothersome to me. Why are you pandering to the school? Maybe the school should be out for consideration by you. Everything reads it’s what the school wants and you are afraid of not getting in so you will do whatever they want. None of this reads what the child needs or what’s best for him or her. Besides that, I’m getting money grab vibes and or they are looking to fill a spot and it’s available in 1st more so than 2nd. This doesn’t feel right. Find another school.

Well, if we make a big stink about it, then we'd almost certainly be told "no." So that would just defeat the purpose of applying.

Yep. The schools have the power in the world of private school admissions. You play their game if you want to be a part of it. That’s reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with a similar birthday. It's a challenging birthday because no matter what you do, they will be on the edge of the age curve. So there's no right answer, but that also means there's no wrong answer.

My child started 1st at just turned 6 and it's been fine. However, if the school had recommended starting 1st at 7, I would have been totally fine with that. In some ways it's better to have the school tell you what they think will work best because then you don't have to guess and you can be more confident that they will provide your child with the support he needs, whether he's among the youngest or among the oldest.

No, it is not best for that school to make that decision. Are you crazy and a lazy parent?

Ah, I recognize you.

Yes, it is best for the school to make that decision because they will have a far better idea of what the age range of other kids in the grade will be, as well as what will be expected of children in the grade and what skills the kids will be expected to have coming in. Especially in a private school, they are best able to make a recommendation. A parent might know their own child well, but especially coming to a school for the very first time after traveling, can't really have any idea of what the classroom environment will be like or what the other kids are like.

School is not an individualized experience. It's a group experience. It works best when kids are ready for what they will be asked to do and when they will fall within the expected range of abilities and behaviors. If you want a fully individualized education, homeschool or hire tutors. If you want school, you will need to defer to their judgment on some of these things, and your judgment comes into play in choosing the school.

Thank you for confirming your lazy parenting.
I bet you would medicate OPs child too if it made your life easier.

Stay mad. It is working out so well for you.

Stay lazy. It is working out so well for you since you are only concerned about yourself.

You get that you're arguing with yourself here, right?

Then who are you arguing with?

No one, I'm not arguing. I noted in my original comment that as a parent of a child who has the same birthday (late August) that there are pluses and minuses both to sending "on time" and redshirting. We sent on time and it's been fine, we could have redshirted and that would have been fine. My recommendation is to listen to the school's recommendation because give that it can really go either way, I'd heavily weight what the school thinks you should do because it's a strong indication of what they will be best able and willing to support. Meaning that if they recommend redshirting, this is likely because they often recommend redshirting in similar circumstances and will have experience making sure kids in that position are well supported. And I might worry that going against the recommendation would result in my child being the youngest kid in a classroom with many redshirted summer birthdays, which would exacerbate any delays he might have due to homeschooling and moving around. I stand by this recommendation and no one has actually said anything in response to counter it.

The PP (who is probably you, just sockpuppeting manically) was triggered by some aspect of this, called me crazy and lazy and then accused me of wanting to forcibly medicate OP's child. This is, in a word, insane.

If you want to provide OP with some advice based on your experience or views on redshirting, I would encourage you to do so. Calling me names and accusing me of a bunch of stuff is unproductive. Yes, you are arguing with yourself.

Thank you for the dissertation that no one will read.

I would not take advice on education from someone who calls three paragraphs a "dissertation."

Three paragraphs is ridiculous on this forum. If you don’t get the reason why someone would call it that, you are dumb as a box of rocks.

I read posts of 3 paragraphs (or more!) on this forum all the time. Often they are more interesting and informative than shorter posts. Especially on a subject like this one. The one liners can be cute but they don't really address the issue. Some people come here for substantive conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

Understandable, the structure and routine will not be difficult and will be overcome in no time. It’s only second grade and not like upper grades where students need to concentrate more. There is still a lot of play in second grade and your child will fall in line to what the others are doing. Homeschool children typically are more mature and you mentioned you moved quite a bit so I would be willing to bet that your child is above level and can tolerate better than older kids.

My kiddo reads very well and is doing well in double digit math. Started reading chapter books recently. Language seems above a typical kid age - says words and uses descriptions that I know I didn't say at that age 😆

But yes, the biggest strike is not having formal structure because we are loosy goosy and don't have a routine. School said kiddo took longer to complete some tasks compared to others in class.

Granted, it was only one day, and the kids being compared are almost done with their first year.

Overall, though, I can improve on points made before the next school year if we are accepted.

Your kid will get it. That is so minor, he will figure it out and it will be quick. He just hasn’t had to do it, but he will when his peers are. Put him in second and I wish you luck on whatever choice you make.

I'd be fine with that, but again, got the impression if we said no to a grade 1 evaluation, then we'd be out for consideration.

Hello OP,
This is bothersome to me. Why are you pandering to the school? Maybe the school should be out for consideration by you. Everything reads it’s what the school wants and you are afraid of not getting in so you will do whatever they want. None of this reads what the child needs or what’s best for him or her. Besides that, I’m getting money grab vibes and or they are looking to fill a spot and it’s available in 1st more so than 2nd. This doesn’t feel right. Find another school.

Well, if we make a big stink about it, then we'd almost certainly be told "no." So that would just defeat the purpose of applying.

Not really. Many people apply to multiple schools to see what their options are and then decide after decisions come out. Just because you applied doesn’t mean you have to go there.

Learning routines and being in a school is not difficult for an average well-behaved child. Unless you have reasons to believe your kid have some issues with that. The teachers have to teach rules (standing in line, bathroom procedures, etc) and expectations at the beginning of the school year. It’s not like the kids show up and know exactly what the new teacher wants in the classroom.

Redshirting is very very common in private schools, so if you want to go that route, you need to play the game. That’s just how it is. If you really want your child at this school, and it sounds like you do, then you will have to do what they say. While I think it is an excuse by the school, I don’t think you have any other choice if this is the one you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate everyone's comments (except that one flex person 😆).

I honestly didn't even know there was a term for this. I think I'm fine with starting 1st grade at 7 and ultimately graduating at 18.

I was weird, I am nearly a mid-Sept baby and graduated HS and started college at 17.

Sorry OP. As someone who is familiar with education, I would not recommend holding back.

Familiar with education? Like you once read a book?!

Yes, I have read a book. We all have read a book. I am an educator.

And? Still not impressed. All educators don't recommend never holding back. You're being cagey about your so called expertise. Maybe you're a dog trainer?

I don’t care to impress you. This isn’t about you. No one said all educators don’t recommend never holding back. You are way too invested and reaching for out don’t know what with your made up “gotchas.”

Taking advice from an anonymous "educator" who won't even say what they teach is like taking advice from someone online who claims to be a "health care worker" which almost always means they work in some back office of a hospital system. A nurse or MD would identify as such.

Did you ask the pp what they teach? It doesn’t appear so in the thread.
There is such a thing as educators.
I assume you took your medication since you’ve seem to have calmed down a tad, but you’re still hell bent on making up imaginary scenarios.

Lol the “educator” pp knows they aren’t an authority on this. Their opinion is just that. The educators at OPs school have already weighed in. But sure, internet faux educator knows best!

[Anonymous]

What the? My kid was 7 in 2nd grade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Almost all of the kids in the class will turn 7 by the end of the school year. A few will be 7 before school starts

Just like in second grade, so your argument holds no water.

Kids are 8 in 2nd grade. Mine has been 8 since November.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course not. Almost all of the kids in the class will turn 7 by the end of the school year. A few will be 7 before school starts

Just like in second grade, so your argument holds no water.

Kids are 8 in 2nd grade. Mine has been 8 since November.

Kids should be 7 when they start 2nd grade and turn 8 either during the school year or shortly after the school year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What the? My kid was 7 in 2nd grade.

Most kids are…