Is 7 "too old" for first grade?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Put your child in the grade he is academically prepared for. If they cannot fit in socially, you can move them back. I promise though, you will not need to do that. Also, you have more than 6 months to prepare your child for that. Place your child in 2nd.

Not if the school turns them down for 2nd.

OP here - yes, I distinctly got the impression that if we said no, we still want to be considered for 2nd, then we'd be getting a "thanks, but no thanks" letter very soon.

Because I said okay to 1st grade evaluation instead, I think we're still in the running then.

They will take him for 2nd, they just want you to agree to 1st without any pushback.

OP here - I know I'm totally overthinking this, now that I've seen so many responses 🤣

I believe if they evaluate for 1st and accept at 1st, then that's what we'll be doing for the Fall. I don't get the impression that the question was a test.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

Understandable, the structure and routine will not be difficult and will be overcome in no time. It’s only second grade and not like upper grades where students need to concentrate more. There is still a lot of play in second grade and your child will fall in line to what the others are doing. Homeschool children typically are more mature and you mentioned you moved quite a bit so I would be willing to bet that your child is above level and can tolerate better than older kids.

My kiddo reads very well and is doing well in double digit math. Started reading chapter books recently. Language seems above a typical kid age - says words and uses descriptions that I know I didn't say at that age 😆

But yes, the biggest strike is not having formal structure because we are loosy goosy and don't have a routine. School said kiddo took longer to complete some tasks compared to others in class.

Granted, it was only one day, and the kids being compared are almost done with their first year.

Overall, though, I can improve on points made before the next school year if we are accepted.

Your kid will get it. That is so minor, he will figure it out and it will be quick. He just hasn’t had to do it, but he will when his peers are. Put him in second and I wish you luck on whatever choice you make.

I'd be fine with that, but again, got the impression if we said no to a grade 1 evaluation, then we'd be out for consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My older son has friends who turned 7 in July and August prior to 1st grade. My child turned 7 after the end of 1st grade.

Summer birthday kids are outliers no matter which way you go. Just do what is best for your kid. If his BD is truly “just before school” aka July / August / September, it should not be an issue.

Where people get all judgy is when kids turn 7 before the end of Kindergarten (March/April/May/sometimes June).

This, precisely.

OP, you need to compare both options. Yes, if he goes to 1st grade he will be among the oldest (I doubt he'll actually be the oldest because I expect this school likely has a decent number of summer redshirts, which means there will be kids who turned 7 in July and maybe June as well) and there may be some repetition of concepts.

If he goes to 2nd, he will be among the youngest, and there may also be some redshirted kids in class (so kids starting the school year at 8). It will be a transitional year for him since he was previously home schooled. On the other hand, it sounds like academically he'd be right on target.

With a summer birthday and especially in your situation with this being the first formal school environment for him, you need to consider the pluses and minuses of both options, and listen to WHY the school is recommending that he go to 1st grade instead of 2nd. It does not sound like it's an arbitrary recommendation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate everyone's comments (except that one flex person 😆).

I honestly didn't even know there was a term for this. I think I'm fine with starting 1st grade at 7 and ultimately graduating at 18.

I was weird, I am nearly a mid-Sept baby and graduated HS and started college at 17.

Sorry OP. As someone who is familiar with education, I would not recommend holding back.

Familiar with education? Like you once read a book?!

Yes, I have read a book. We all have read a book. I am an educator.

And? Still not impressed. All educators don't recommend never holding back. You're being cagey about your so called expertise. Maybe you're a dog trainer?

I don’t care to impress you. This isn’t about you. No one said all educators don’t recommend never holding back. You are way too invested and reaching for out don’t know what with your made up “gotchas.”

Taking advice from an anonymous "educator" who won't even say what they teach is like taking advice from someone online who claims to be a "health care worker" which almost always means they work in some back office of a hospital system. A nurse or MD would identify as such.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not put your child a grade behind. He/she will be able to adjust fine.

Kiddo is doing academically well, but even I admit there can be some social/emotional improvements, and that's on me, not my child. I need to help them and set new boundaries.

The impression I got from the school is that they would reject my child if being considered for 2nd grade, but not for 1st.

Do not hold your child back. This is not the right school for them. Expecting 6-year-olds to be mature shows they don't know much about child development and you don't want a 6-year-old to be mature as that causes other issues.

[Anonymous]

Of course not. Almost all of the kids in the class will turn 7 by the end of the school year. A few will be 7 before school starts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not put your child a grade behind. He/she will be able to adjust fine.

Kiddo is doing academically well, but even I admit there can be some social/emotional improvements, and that's on me, not my child. I need to help them and set new boundaries.

The impression I got from the school is that they would reject my child if being considered for 2nd grade, but not for 1st.

Do not hold your child back. This is not the right school for them. Expecting 6-year-olds to be mature shows they don't know much about child development and you don't want a 6-year-old to be mature as that causes other issues.

Don’t be silly.

OP, there is a weird rabid anti-redshirting lady on the website - she’s almost certainly found this thread. This sounds like an easy decision to me…first grade makes sense for her!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not put your child a grade behind. He/she will be able to adjust fine.

Kiddo is doing academically well, but even I admit there can be some social/emotional improvements, and that's on me, not my child. I need to help them and set new boundaries.

The impression I got from the school is that they would reject my child if being considered for 2nd grade, but not for 1st.

Do not hold your child back. This is not the right school for them. Expecting 6-year-olds to be mature shows they don't know much about child development and you don't want a 6-year-old to be mature as that causes other issues.

Don’t be silly.

OP, there is a weird rabid anti-redshirting lady on the website - she’s almost certainly found this thread. This sounds like an easy decision to me…first grade makes sense for her!

I agree and I'm redshirting-agnostic (sometimes I think it's a good idea, sometimes I don't). But in this specific situation, it seems like the obvious right solution for this specific child, because they've never been in a classroom environment before. This sounds like an obvious situation where socially and in terms of development, redshirting makes sense even though your kid is on track academically.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

Our local public school has a "bridge to kindergarten" program for kinders who never did formal preschool. It's like 3 weeks of doing a school routine over the summer.

It really sounds like what your son needs is something like that - a program that does school routines without the academics - and then he'd be ready for 2nd.

But if you love the school, then I can see doing whatever it takes to have your kid there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

Understandable, the structure and routine will not be difficult and will be overcome in no time. It’s only second grade and not like upper grades where students need to concentrate more. There is still a lot of play in second grade and your child will fall in line to what the others are doing. Homeschool children typically are more mature and you mentioned you moved quite a bit so I would be willing to bet that your child is above level and can tolerate better than older kids.

My kiddo reads very well and is doing well in double digit math. Started reading chapter books recently. Language seems above a typical kid age - says words and uses descriptions that I know I didn't say at that age 😆

But yes, the biggest strike is not having formal structure because we are loosy goosy and don't have a routine. School said kiddo took longer to complete some tasks compared to others in class.

Granted, it was only one day, and the kids being compared are almost done with their first year.

Overall, though, I can improve on points made before the next school year if we are accepted.

Your kid will get it. That is so minor, he will figure it out and it will be quick. He just hasn’t had to do it, but he will when his peers are. Put him in second and I wish you luck on whatever choice you make.

I'd be fine with that, but again, got the impression if we said no to a grade 1 evaluation, then we'd be out for consideration.

Been there. Rejected for K across the board. For Pre-K? Come on in, they said, across the board. Money grab, maybe, but it was our reality and we got the message.

DC did end up having a learning disability, but has worked through that and is now in college.

It works out in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do not put your child a grade behind. He/she will be able to adjust fine.

Kiddo is doing academically well, but even I admit there can be some social/emotional improvements, and that's on me, not my child. I need to help them and set new boundaries.

The impression I got from the school is that they would reject my child if being considered for 2nd grade, but not for 1st.

Do not hold your child back. This is not the right school for them. Expecting 6-year-olds to be mature shows they don't know much about child development and you don't want a 6-year-old to be mature as that causes other issues.

OP here - My child is mature for age 6 - the challenge is that we've got no formal structure or routine (part of why we did homeschooling because we also travel a lot), but now that we're all having to "grow up" (ha), that lack of routine is coming to bite us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

Our local public school has a "bridge to kindergarten" program for kinders who never did formal preschool. It's like 3 weeks of doing a school routine over the summer.

It really sounds like what your son needs is something like that - a program that does school routines without the academics - and then he'd be ready for 2nd.

But if you love the school, then I can see doing whatever it takes to have your kid there.

It would be great to have our kid attend there. Really great environment, kids are respectful and helpful. We really like it all.

Just as mentioned, not having a solid routine has come to bite us in the butt, it seems! We did homeschooling for the freedom, but I have recognized that I need to have kiddo with peers in a formal setting to set them up for success later in life.

I think we're willing to follow the school's lead on this if it means getting in the door for the long haul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - I can see the request because my child has never been in a formal environment with other kids, like preschool or daycare and things have been more lax at home.

I think the school's biggest reason is to get my child to understand structure and routine.

I of course want to set my child up for success and don't want them to be struggling if they were to be in 2nd grade.

Understandable, the structure and routine will not be difficult and will be overcome in no time. It’s only second grade and not like upper grades where students need to concentrate more. There is still a lot of play in second grade and your child will fall in line to what the others are doing. Homeschool children typically are more mature and you mentioned you moved quite a bit so I would be willing to bet that your child is above level and can tolerate better than older kids.

My kiddo reads very well and is doing well in double digit math. Started reading chapter books recently. Language seems above a typical kid age - says words and uses descriptions that I know I didn't say at that age 😆

But yes, the biggest strike is not having formal structure because we are loosy goosy and don't have a routine. School said kiddo took longer to complete some tasks compared to others in class.

Granted, it was only one day, and the kids being compared are almost done with their first year.

Overall, though, I can improve on points made before the next school year if we are accepted.

Your kid will get it. That is so minor, he will figure it out and it will be quick. He just hasn’t had to do it, but he will when his peers are. Put him in second and I wish you luck on whatever choice you make.

I'd be fine with that, but again, got the impression if we said no to a grade 1 evaluation, then we'd be out for consideration.

Been there. Rejected for K across the board. For Pre-K? Come on in, they said, across the board. Money grab, maybe, but it was our reality and we got the message.

DC did end up having a learning disability, but has worked through that and is now in college.

It works out in the end.

OP here - Yes, it could be a money grab, but I didn't get that vibe. The school is on the smaller side and I do believe they genuinely want to place students in the right grade level to ensure success.

Obviously I want that, too!

I mentioned above that if we get accepted, it really will be an "all" thing since we've been loose on structure, it'll be a new thing for everyone! But I do think it's a good thing.

I have come to realize over this last year's time that I cannot provide an environment that a formal peer environment can. One day they'll have to get a job and work with others so I need to set my child up for success now and not try at 18 😅

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a child with a similar birthday. It's a challenging birthday because no matter what you do, they will be on the edge of the age curve. So there's no right answer, but that also means there's no wrong answer.

My child started 1st at just turned 6 and it's been fine. However, if the school had recommended starting 1st at 7, I would have been totally fine with that. In some ways it's better to have the school tell you what they think will work best because then you don't have to guess and you can be more confident that they will provide your child with the support he needs, whether he's among the youngest or among the oldest.

No, it is not best for that school to make that decision. Are you crazy and a lazy parent?

Ah, I recognize you.

Yes, it is best for the school to make that decision because they will have a far better idea of what the age range of other kids in the grade will be, as well as what will be expected of children in the grade and what skills the kids will be expected to have coming in. Especially in a private school, they are best able to make a recommendation. A parent might know their own child well, but especially coming to a school for the very first time after traveling, can't really have any idea of what the classroom environment will be like or what the other kids are like.

School is not an individualized experience. It's a group experience. It works best when kids are ready for what they will be asked to do and when they will fall within the expected range of abilities and behaviors. If you want a fully individualized education, homeschool or hire tutors. If you want school, you will need to defer to their judgment on some of these things, and your judgment comes into play in choosing the school.

Thank you for confirming your lazy parenting.
I bet you would medicate OPs child too if it made your life easier.

Stay mad. It is working out so well for you.

Stay lazy. It is working out so well for you since you are only concerned about yourself.

You get that you're arguing with yourself here, right?

Then who are you arguing with?

No one, I'm not arguing. I noted in my original comment that as a parent of a child who has the same birthday (late August) that there are pluses and minuses both to sending "on time" and redshirting. We sent on time and it's been fine, we could have redshirted and that would have been fine. My recommendation is to listen to the school's recommendation because give that it can really go either way, I'd heavily weight what the school thinks you should do because it's a strong indication of what they will be best able and willing to support. Meaning that if they recommend redshirting, this is likely because they often recommend redshirting in similar circumstances and will have experience making sure kids in that position are well supported. And I might worry that going against the recommendation would result in my child being the youngest kid in a classroom with many redshirted summer birthdays, which would exacerbate any delays he might have due to homeschooling and moving around. I stand by this recommendation and no one has actually said anything in response to counter it.

The PP (who is probably you, just sockpuppeting manically) was triggered by some aspect of this, called me crazy and lazy and then accused me of wanting to forcibly medicate OP's child. This is, in a word, insane.

If you want to provide OP with some advice based on your experience or views on redshirting, I would encourage you to do so. Calling me names and accusing me of a bunch of stuff is unproductive. Yes, you are arguing with yourself.

Thank you for the dissertation that no one will read.

I would not take advice on education from someone who calls three paragraphs a "dissertation."

Three paragraphs is ridiculous on this forum. If you don’t get the reason why someone would call it that, you are dumb as a box of rocks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I appreciate everyone's comments (except that one flex person 😆).

I honestly didn't even know there was a term for this. I think I'm fine with starting 1st grade at 7 and ultimately graduating at 18.

I was weird, I am nearly a mid-Sept baby and graduated HS and started college at 17.

Sorry OP. As someone who is familiar with education, I would not recommend holding back.

Familiar with education? Like you once read a book?!

Yes, I have read a book. We all have read a book. I am an educator.

And? Still not impressed. All educators don't recommend never holding back. You're being cagey about your so called expertise. Maybe you're a dog trainer?

I don’t care to impress you. This isn’t about you. No one said all educators don’t recommend never holding back. You are way too invested and reaching for out don’t know what with your made up “gotchas.”

Taking advice from an anonymous "educator" who won't even say what they teach is like taking advice from someone online who claims to be a "health care worker" which almost always means they work in some back office of a hospital system. A nurse or MD would identify as such.

Did you ask the pp what they teach? It doesn’t appear so in the thread.
There is such a thing as educators.
I assume you took your medication since you’ve seem to have calmed down a tad, but you’re still hell bent on making up imaginary scenarios.