Men 45+ on OLD: are they all broke?

[Anonymous]

I expect the man to be similarly situated.

Excellent credit
Retirement savings
Emergency fund
Car
Nice house or apartment
Entertainment funds to eat dinner, lunch, or brunch at least once a week
Funds for 3 to 4 short weekend trips annually
Funds for a longer week long vacation annually

I don't have high expectations.

Also non smoker who works out regularly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect the man to be similarly situated.

Excellent credit
Retirement savings
Emergency fund
Car
Nice house or apartment
Entertainment funds to eat dinner, lunch, or brunch at least once a week
Funds for 3 to 4 short weekend trips annually
Funds for a longer week long vacation annually

I don't have high expectations.

Also non smoker who works out regularly

This ^^^^

[Anonymous]

Current BF makes less than what I do. First time being with someone that doesn’t make more. Mid 40s, divorced with a child. I really like him as a person and he is a decent guy so what he makes does not matter. We have a similar lifestyle and he treats me well.
At this point you can’t have it all so you need to pick your difficult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect the man to be similarly situated.

Excellent credit
Retirement savings
Emergency fund
Car
Nice house or apartment
Entertainment funds to eat dinner, lunch, or brunch at least once a week
Funds for 3 to 4 short weekend trips annually
Funds for a longer week long vacation annually

I don't have high expectations.

Also non smoker who works out regularly

This is bare minimum right here

[Anonymous]

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I finally met a lovely man. I think he runs deficit of about $700 every month. He works his tail off and didn't buy anything outrages. It's temporary and I will gladly help him fix it. I would even help him if we weren't together.

Really? You would financially help a single adult man? Mega turn off.

Yeah, nope. I’ve established my life independently and am not tying myself to just another dead weight.

So what kind of income/wealth do you expect a man to have?

Enough disposable income to match mine. Enough free time to match mine.

Sure, but what constitutes matching yours?

I'm a woman make about 300K a year. My average weekend outing is about $150; I take one large vacation a year at about $20K, couple small trips in the range of $5k. So it's about $15,000 on travel and $3600 on dates that a BF would need to match my expenses on entertainment and travel only. If we move in together, we would be saving on mortgage/rent so not a bad deal for him overall

I’m similar to you financially as are most of my friends. We’ve all come to realize that we are the ones that can afford our lifestyle. It means we don’t date and while we miss it, we don’t miss the drama that goes along with being in a relationship. We go out together on the weekends and always have a good time. And we travel together. I haven’t met a man in a similar financial situation yet.

Yea, because if he makes less he will resent the woman for making more, will be emasculated causing all the relationship drama. I tried to subsidize men financially, it didn't work out well either (these were professional men making about 200K but with CS obligtions which I don't have). So I guess single wealthy women should prepare for solitude entering elderly years

You want the older widowers. The ones I know were happily married, have adult children, and now have substantial assets but no one to share their lives with. We’re talking 60s and 70s.

I’ll focus on them in my 50s and 60s if I still feel like dating at that point. For now I have a younger FWB as I’m mid 40s.

No way am I spending my 50s and 60s taking care of an old man who won’t be there to take care of me and leaves his property to kids from his marriage.

Why should he take care of you or leave you anything if you’ve got your own money?

If I devote my one and only life to someone long term until death, I expect to be treated like a partner and would do the same for a partner / husband.

You expect your wealth to pass to your kids.

You also expect his wealth to pass to you, and not to his kids.

You're just another gold-digger.

Can you read at all? That is not what this reply says. But just keep seeing what you want to see.

It’s exactly what she means. In fact she’s counting on milking him because she thinks he will die first.

I am the pp and explicitly said I’d do the same for a partner/husband. You don’t know bc who will die first or what they will need before they do. I know people of both sexes who have buried more than one spouse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DCUM women: “Women don’t benefit financially from divorce.”

Also DCUM women: “How come all the older single men are broke AF?”

🙄

In many cases, divorce screws up both, so no contradiction here.

Well yeah, if you are involved with someone who is divorced, their spouse gets at least half of everything - even more if they have a better attorney. What is the point of getting involved with someone who is divorced? Especially if they have kids, who are inevitably going to hate your guts? Probably in addition to your own kids hating your guts. You think YOUR being with a divorcee is going to be different than everyone else's experience?? Grow up.

They don’t hate your guts if the parents were already divorced or divorcing anyway when you met the partner.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

At age 55 only one or two percent of the population have $1 million or more in retirement savings. Of that one or two percent, 95 percent are married.

For my $1 million, that's just what I've been able to create since a divorce 9 years ago. By the time I retire I hope it's 2-3 times larger.

90%ile of every age bracket above 45 has NW over $1M.

I don't think so. The median household net worth (and we were discussing retirement funds not net worth) at age 55 is around $110,000, no where close to $1 million. And much of that net worth is in the form of housing, which is not liquid and which can crash in value.

If you think people in this area or on this board represent the mean I don’t know what to tell you. Op is clearly not the mean and would match well with someone who is. The mean in this country is a pathetic standard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s crazy how every woman on DCUM is a mini Sheryl Sandberg yet whenever I go on a date with a cute late 20’s chick from Hinge they’re all broke. The only single women I know irl who aren’t broke are the ones who I work with. Never been on a date with a chick under 35 making six figures.

And? At 35 I made $60K and had $125K in debt. By 45 I made $180K with no debt and was married to someone making $325K. People develop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The ones I’ve dated who aren’t broke were either an alcoholic or a narcissist. I’d rather date broke men because they are at least great in bed!

I’ve dated both and both have been great in bed in different ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect the man to be similarly situated.

Excellent credit
Retirement savings
Emergency fund
Car
Nice house or apartment
Entertainment funds to eat dinner, lunch, or brunch at least once a week
Funds for 3 to 4 short weekend trips annually
Funds for a longer week long vacation annually

I don't have high expectations.

Also non smoker who works out regularly

My current 50+ year old boyfriend checks all these boxes : )

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect the man to be similarly situated.

Excellent credit
Retirement savings
Emergency fund
Car
Nice house or apartment
Entertainment funds to eat dinner, lunch, or brunch at least once a week
Funds for 3 to 4 short weekend trips annually
Funds for a longer week long vacation annually

I don't have high expectations.

Also non smoker who works out regularly

This sums up the bare minimum for me. Most of my single female friends would agree. We talk about it s lot and why should we have these things and not want to expect our partner to be the same?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I expect the man to be similarly situated.

Excellent credit
Retirement savings
Emergency fund
Car
Nice house or apartment
Entertainment funds to eat dinner, lunch, or brunch at least once a week
Funds for 3 to 4 short weekend trips annually
Funds for a longer week long vacation annually

I don't have high expectations.

Also non smoker who works out regularly

specifically how much for each? $100, $1k, $10k?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

At age 55 only one or two percent of the population have $1 million or more in retirement savings. Of that one or two percent, 95 percent are married.

For my $1 million, that's just what I've been able to create since a divorce 9 years ago. By the time I retire I hope it's 2-3 times larger.

90%ile of every age bracket above 45 has NW over $1M.

I don't think so. The median household net worth (and we were discussing retirement funds not net worth) at age 55 is around $110,000, no where close to $1 million. And much of that net worth is in the form of housing, which is not liquid and which can crash in value.

If you think people in this area or on this board represent the mean I don’t know what to tell you. Op is clearly not the mean and would match well with someone who is. The mean in this country is a pathetic standard.

This board is chock full of lies and delusions. If everyone here was $5 million in net worth, the owner of the site would be an idiot to not have a huge membership fee. Also, the targeted ads are pretty middle-class.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I expect the man to be similarly situated.

Excellent credit
Retirement savings
Emergency fund
Car
Nice house or apartment
Entertainment funds to eat dinner, lunch, or brunch at least once a week
Funds for 3 to 4 short weekend trips annually
Funds for a longer week long vacation annually

I don't have high expectations.

Also non smoker who works out regularly

specifically how much for each? $100, $1k, $10k?

$150, $2k, $10k

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm cheap af, and also poor by DC standards (only $1 million in the bank and $200k income).

But the bigger problem is that I have no intention of dissipating my wealth on an over-the-hill woman.

What wealth?

At age 55 only one or two percent of the population have $1 million or more in retirement savings. Of that one or two percent, 95 percent are married.

For my $1 million, that's just what I've been able to create since a divorce 9 years ago. By the time I retire I hope it's 2-3 times larger.

90%ile of every age bracket above 45 has NW over $1M.

I don't think so. The median household net worth (and we were discussing retirement funds not net worth) at age 55 is around $110,000, no where close to $1 million. And much of that net worth is in the form of housing, which is not liquid and which can crash in value.

If you think people in this area or on this board represent the mean I don’t know what to tell you. Op is clearly not the mean and would match well with someone who is. The mean in this country is a pathetic standard.

This board is chock full of lies and delusions. If everyone here was $5 million in net worth, the owner of the site would be an idiot to not have a huge membership fee. Also, the targeted ads are pretty middle-class.

You are delusional. A pretty average home in NW DC or Bethesda is worth $1.5mm now. How much in NW do you think the women living there have ? Of course it’s well over $1mm. Read finance forum. People who started at WB/IMF/IFC before 1998 have 300k/year pensions. Feds have military pensions, current salaries and rentals. 300k combined income from all sources is pretty common for the area and nothing to brag about.
Signed $4.5mm NW mid 40s female. In addition to this current NW, I’m very frugal and save around $170k/year in my brokerage and pension combined.