Redshirting a March birthday boy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Redshirting is a huge advantage for boys both socially and with sports in middle and high school. Other parents will be mad because your son is bigger and more developed than theirs, but I would gladly do this for a March birthday boy.

You’re stupid. Plain and simple.

Wow, thanks. Sophisticated argument there. There is tons of data about how the oldest boys allowed on a team are likely to develop sooner and outperform, getting more playing time and reinforcing the advantage. If your son isn't athletic I don't see much of an advantage to red shirting, beyond the social skills and maturity. It is widely understood to be an advantage for athletes though.

They aren't developing sooner. They are developing before the kids in the same grade as they are a year or two older.

No one is 2 years older than kids in the same grade. If March bday kid is redshirted (which would be the earliest bday I’ve ever heard of redshirting), they’d be AT MOST 1.5 years older than a few other kids in their grade (if you live somewhere w a September cut off…some privates have august or even July cut offs in which case the March bday kid could possibly be 16-17 months older than the youngest kids in the grade). There are not kids who are actually 24 months older than other kids in the same grade.

Maybe not 2 years, but more than 18 months definitely possible. Unusual and I was surprised.

Yeah I don’t believe that you know any kids more than 18 months apart in the same grade. That is not believable and you are exaggerating (unless you’re talking about a kid w special needs)

NP but the entire premise of this thread is a school wanting to redshirt a March birthday. Well if he is redshirted, he would be 18 months older than any August birthdays in the class. So obviously it can happen. And according to OP, her son doesn't have special needs.

It's just weird to accuse someone of making up a scenario that is literally the scenario OP is proposing.

That is 17 months. I know math is hard but cmon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting is a huge advantage for boys both socially and with sports in middle and high school. Other parents will be mad because your son is bigger and more developed than theirs, but I would gladly do this for a March birthday boy.

You’re stupid. Plain and simple.

Wow, thanks. Sophisticated argument there. There is tons of data about how the oldest boys allowed on a team are likely to develop sooner and outperform, getting more playing time and reinforcing the advantage. If your son isn't athletic I don't see much of an advantage to red shirting, beyond the social skills and maturity. It is widely understood to be an advantage for athletes though.

They aren't developing sooner. They are developing before the kids in the same grade as they are a year or two older.

No one is 2 years older than kids in the same grade. If March bday kid is redshirted (which would be the earliest bday I’ve ever heard of redshirting), they’d be AT MOST 1.5 years older than a few other kids in their grade (if you live somewhere w a September cut off…some privates have august or even July cut offs in which case the March bday kid could possibly be 16-17 months older than the youngest kids in the grade). There are not kids who are actually 24 months older than other kids in the same grade.

Maybe not 2 years, but more than 18 months definitely possible. Unusual and I was surprised.

Yeah I don’t believe that you know any kids more than 18 months apart in the same grade. That is not believable and you are exaggerating (unless you’re talking about a kid w special needs)

NP but the entire premise of this thread is a school wanting to redshirt a March birthday. Well if he is redshirted, he would be 18 months older than any August birthdays in the class. So obviously it can happen. And according to OP, her son doesn't have special needs.

It's just weird to accuse someone of making up a scenario that is literally the scenario OP is proposing.

No, that’s 17 months. Also, pp first said there would be kids 2 years apart in same grade which is absolutely false and then backpedaled and said “oh it’s 18+ months.” I was a teacher. Oldest redshirt kid I ever heard of in 10 years at a private school was an April bday. To truly be 18+ months older than another kid in the grade you would need a January-February redshirted kid which I have never heard of. And even if you had that, they’d only be 18+ months older than an August-September bday kid which is a very small number of August-September kids who go on time anyway.

In short, the scenario of kids being 18+ months older is something that totally sounds exaggerated/made up bc it so rarely-never happens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting is a huge advantage for boys both socially and with sports in middle and high school. Other parents will be mad because your son is bigger and more developed than theirs, but I would gladly do this for a March birthday boy.

You’re stupid. Plain and simple.

Wow, thanks. Sophisticated argument there. There is tons of data about how the oldest boys allowed on a team are likely to develop sooner and outperform, getting more playing time and reinforcing the advantage. If your son isn't athletic I don't see much of an advantage to red shirting, beyond the social skills and maturity. It is widely understood to be an advantage for athletes though.

Not sophisticated because it isn’t. Just call it what it is. Stupid, plain and simple.

Why is it stupid? Why wouldn't you want your son to be one of the oldest in his class? What disadvantage is there?

Being a high school student at 19

It’s really not something high school students care about. The people hyperventilating about how kids will hate being 19 in HS are clearly not around current teens very much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, private school parent here who redshirted a summer birthday. One of his friends is a redshirted spring birthday. No one cares. One thing about starting in PK or K is that the kids all know each other. Social groups are well established before that stuff is on their radar. It’s a non-issue.

And I can’t help but laugh at everyone who says that they’re trying to bill you for extra money. They are not. We were recommended for an extra year when we were on a ton of financial aid. They definitely lost money on us. Believe me, as another poster said, they filled their classes just fine. They don’t have to try and squeeze an extra year’s tuition out of anyone.

Your child must be young. The kids definitely talk about it by 3rd/4th grade and I’m sure your child will be asked why he was “held back” and it will be implied he’s stupid. This always happens. How naive to think that because kids went to the same preschool and their moms volunteered together on the PTA that they will not be aware of Larlo being 1.5 or 1 year older than the vast majority of the class. Ask me how I know.

This is abject nonsense. What a weirdo you are.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

If there aren’t many March redshirted kids at your school, but they want to redshirt your child, you need to find out why. This does not sound right. And I say this as someone who thinks DCUM anti-redshirters are collectively one of the dimmest group of posters on DCUM, so I am hardy an anti-redshirter. It would be one thing if the school regularly redshirted March kids, but to have it rarely recommended for one child, especially when that child is a sibling, is unusual. Something seems off here, and you need to understand why.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

If there aren’t many March redshirted kids at your school, but they want to redshirt your child, you need to find out why. This does not sound right. And I say this as someone who thinks DCUM anti-redshirters are collectively one of the dimmest group of posters on DCUM, so I am hardy an anti-redshirter. It would be one thing if the school regularly redshirted March kids, but to have it rarely recommended for one child, especially when that child is a sibling, is unusual. Something seems off here, and you need to understand why.

+1 and listen very carefully. Also talk to a specialist about the immaturity and speech delays. They may be what you should be concerned about, not the admissions offer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Redshirting is a huge advantage for boys both socially and with sports in middle and high school. Other parents will be mad because your son is bigger and more developed than theirs, but I would gladly do this for a March birthday boy.

You’re stupid. Plain and simple.

Wow, thanks. Sophisticated argument there. There is tons of data about how the oldest boys allowed on a team are likely to develop sooner and outperform, getting more playing time and reinforcing the advantage. If your son isn't athletic I don't see much of an advantage to red shirting, beyond the social skills and maturity. It is widely understood to be an advantage for athletes though.

They aren't developing sooner. They are developing before the kids in the same grade as they are a year or two older.

That's what I meant, these boys will generally be bigger and more physically developed than their peers in the same grade. This is a big advantage for them, if you're thinking about the long term you should be doing this for your son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

If there aren’t many March redshirted kids at your school, but they want to redshirt your child, you need to find out why. This does not sound right. And I say this as someone who thinks DCUM anti-redshirters are collectively one of the dimmest group of posters on DCUM, so I am hardy an anti-redshirter. It would be one thing if the school regularly redshirted March kids, but to have it rarely recommended for one child, especially when that child is a sibling, is unusual. Something seems off here, and you need to understand why.

+1 and listen very carefully. Also talk to a specialist about the immaturity and speech delays. They may be what you should be concerned about, not the admissions offer

OP here. He does not stand out to me in any ways compared to his classmates (boys especially). Some kids speak really well and have great vocabulary at 4-5. Others, it’s difficult to understand what they are even saying. Same goes for immaturity. His teachers tell me that kids are all over the spectrum at this age in both maturity and academic abilities.
My son is in speech already and I am not sure what else I can do.

[Anonymous]

Parent of a 3rd grader in a private school writing.

I have not met any March red shirted child in our child's cohort. I have also seen many summer born kids in my child's cohort that were not redshirted.

I am only aware of one child redshirted despite being born so early in the year. She is born in February, at another state and has very serious developmental delays that affected her functioning in classroom. Both family and teachers were on the same page regarding redshirting and the family is happy with the decision.

[Anonymous]

OK I am doing a 180. That’s because I just saw this.

OP definitely check this out. I think it may be a good idea to redshirt. This is in contrast to what I thought previously.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C22JDwtuvUe/?igsh=NHdzZnNpbzAzd2hr

[Anonymous]

If a school cares more about getting your money then getting your kid in an appropriate setting you should pull both kids out and find another school. Ridiculous. Also how will you explain to larlo why he’s older than all his classmates- ‘sorry that was the only place they could fit you and your sister really loved her school so…”. That will not go over well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

If there aren’t many March redshirted kids at your school, but they want to redshirt your child, you need to find out why. This does not sound right. And I say this as someone who thinks DCUM anti-redshirters are collectively one of the dimmest group of posters on DCUM, so I am hardy an anti-redshirter. It would be one thing if the school regularly redshirted March kids, but to have it rarely recommended for one child, especially when that child is a sibling, is unusual. Something seems off here, and you need to understand why.

+1 and listen very carefully. Also talk to a specialist about the immaturity and speech delays. They may be what you should be concerned about, not the admissions offer

OP here. He does not stand out to me in any ways compared to his classmates (boys especially). Some kids speak really well and have great vocabulary at 4-5. Others, it’s difficult to understand what they are even saying. Same goes for immaturity. His teachers tell me that kids are all over the spectrum at this age in both maturity and academic abilities.
My son is in speech already and I am not sure what else I can do.

Real life experience here. Son is now a senior. May birthday. He went to a very small preschool that had kindergarten but it was like a 2 1/2 day kindergarten. Son tested very well on WPPSI - a little lower on indicators for speech and comprehension though - and was definitely on quiet side for speech. Applied to private which encouraged repeating K and getting a full day in of K for a year. No really good reason given. He was a bit shy.

Looking back I regret this decision - let
me emphasize, in our case. Son is not super smart but definitely above average. He ultimately left the first private school in high school to go elsewhere because he was unhappy socially and it is here when repeating while switching schools might have been helpful because it would have been 9th to 9th grade - but then he was way too old for that. He was also lightly teased for being older than his peers - the suggestion was always he must have been dumb. He hated it. Also my son is tall but at a younger age parents were always saying out loud in front of other people, “oh well he’s taller because he’s older.” My son is 6”3 now. He is just plain tall.

I would wait a few years, get support for language, and see what happens. Boys can also be slower in this area. Then, if you really really need to you can repeat by going to another school if need be or you may be just fine. My son has done fine, is happy and going to T50 college.

That said it irks me when parents get upset that there are older kids in a grade. Some kids really need it. It is unkind to bash a kid for being older - like he is, at such young age, trying to get some kind of advantage over other children. Like Johnny is going to take your kids college spot. (And athletic reclasses in high school are a whole other conversation)

Be compassionate people. Jeez.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:NP. So many bad takes here. OP, this is a private school. They can do what they want. If you want to attend the school, you can either accept this or go to another school. You can argue with the school if you want, maybe it will work, maybe it won’t. The school is certainly under no obligation to admit your child in the grade you want, versus what the admissions team wants. They’ll just go to the next person on the list if you seem difficult.

OP already has another child at currently enrolled there, they aren’t new to the private school world or this school specifically.

I know. That still does not mean the school is under any obligation to admit the sibling in the grade that OP prefers. If the school has a wait list — and many do — the school is not going to spend a lot of time worrying about the decision. OP is of course free to ask for reconsideration politely, but the school has no obligation to admit according to what OP wants. All the hyperventilating in this thread is useless.

Thank you. OP here. What I was hoping to get from this thread was the opinion of parents of older children. There aren’t many March redshirted kids at our school and I worry that my son will feel “less then” or perhaps other kids will make fun of him. He is also tall for his age and quite athletic (for an almost 5 year old).

I appreciate some some of the apps that mentioned that in middle school this becomes a non issue, but I am afraid of my son being embarrassed of turning 7 in K with some of his friends still being 5 and much smaller than him.

We are not very tall people (though my husband’s family has very tall people) so it’s likely his growth will slow down (it happened with my older kids).

If there aren’t many March redshirted kids at your school, but they want to redshirt your child, you need to find out why. This does not sound right. And I say this as someone who thinks DCUM anti-redshirters are collectively one of the dimmest group of posters on DCUM, so I am hardy an anti-redshirter. It would be one thing if the school regularly redshirted March kids, but to have it rarely recommended for one child, especially when that child is a sibling, is unusual. Something seems off here, and you need to understand why.

+1 and listen very carefully. Also talk to a specialist about the immaturity and speech delays. They may be what you should be concerned about, not the admissions offer

OP here. He does not stand out to me in any ways compared to his classmates (boys especially). Some kids speak really well and have great vocabulary at 4-5. Others, it’s difficult to understand what they are even saying. Same goes for immaturity. His teachers tell me that kids are all over the spectrum at this age in both maturity and academic abilities.
My son is in speech already and I am not sure what else I can do.

You need to ask them point-blank why they are recommending it, and as the PP says, listen very carefully because some concerns will be coded.

[Anonymous]

No way. Send him to public and reevaluate your options in a few years. You could always do public K and repeat next year at the private school if you really want him there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If a school cares more about getting your money then getting your kid in an appropriate setting you should pull both kids out and find another school. Ridiculous. Also how will you explain to larlo why he’s older than all his classmates- ‘sorry that was the only place they could fit you and your sister really loved her school so…”. That will not go over well.

For most good private schools the issue isn’t money. That isn’t what is driving this here, either. Something else is going on, and OP needs to figure out what.