Obnoxious Sister and Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

You're not going to have all the burners going at 8am. Do a lot of your prep the day before. Just have you sister clean up after herself and give her a time that she has to be out of the kitchen. But if you're having houseguests, they need to eat so you need to plan for that. Keeping things simple doesn't mean ignore all the meals but one. If everyone is well fed they are more likely to stay out of your way in the kitchen. Otherwise they will be grazing for hours.

Apparently “the boys” sleep until noon.

When I prepped Thanksgiving for 16, I was in the kitchen nonstop from 8-4. The morning was one of the busier times with prepping the turkey and stuffing. Having to deal with someone using the stove AND getting a bunch of dishes dirty would have been really stressful. It’s truly just common sense for guests in this scenario to realize they need to stay out of the kitchen. If they are unable or so incompetent as to not be able to figure out how to get to McDonald’s for breakfast and refuse to just have cereal or whatever, then the host should figure something out to offer, but demanding kitchen access on Thanksgiving morning is truly extra …

I must be doing it wrong. When I do Thanksgiving, I am not constantly in the kitchen - except for the last hour and a half or so. There is some work prior to that of course, like getting the turkey in the oven is what 20? minutes. We have time for a nice breakfast too. (I also say yes when someone offers to do the breakfast.)

Do you make Thanksgiving for 16 in a tiny kitchen?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

No it didn't. What in God's name are you boiling for 8 hours?

I exaggerate a little but it was all systems go from 7am on. Chop veggies for stuffing, prep stuffing, cook stuffing, chop herbs/spices for turkey, prep turkey, cook turkey, peel potatoes, cook potatoes, prep rolls … I promise you I did all the prep the day before that I could and it was still a race. In a narrow city kitchen I did not want anyone else in there. Dishes had to be managed too. Cooking for 15 is no joke.

Chop all the veggies and herbs on Wed. Can also peel and soak potatoes overnight. If your kitchen and house isn't able to accommodate guests, then point people to a hotel. It's not right or fair to invite people then tell them the kitchen is closed for the day until 3. Once the turkey is in the oven it's a lot of waiting around. This would be fine if the guests weren't rolling in until about noon.

They're in the middle of a city, with numerous food and drink options within walking distance, not on the plains. They're getting several free meals as well as accommodation. It's utterly thoughtless to try and clog up someone's kitchen on what is arguably the biggest cooking day of the year.

Nuts. Breakfast is part of the holiday. Don’t host if you can’t handle it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

You're not going to have all the burners going at 8am. Do a lot of your prep the day before. Just have you sister clean up after herself and give her a time that she has to be out of the kitchen. But if you're having houseguests, they need to eat so you need to plan for that. Keeping things simple doesn't mean ignore all the meals but one. If everyone is well fed they are more likely to stay out of your way in the kitchen. Otherwise they will be grazing for hours.

Apparently “the boys” sleep until noon.

When I prepped Thanksgiving for 16, I was in the kitchen nonstop from 8-4. The morning was one of the busier times with prepping the turkey and stuffing. Having to deal with someone using the stove AND getting a bunch of dishes dirty would have been really stressful. It’s truly just common sense for guests in this scenario to realize they need to stay out of the kitchen. If they are unable or so incompetent as to not be able to figure out how to get to McDonald’s for breakfast and refuse to just have cereal or whatever, then the host should figure something out to offer, but demanding kitchen access on Thanksgiving morning is truly extra …

I must be doing it wrong. When I do Thanksgiving, I am not constantly in the kitchen - except for the last hour and a half or so. There is some work prior to that of course, like getting the turkey in the oven is what 20? minutes. We have time for a nice breakfast too. (I also say yes when someone offers to do the breakfast.)

Do you make Thanksgiving for 16 in a tiny kitchen?

I have, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

No it didn't. What in God's name are you boiling for 8 hours?

I exaggerate a little but it was all systems go from 7am on. Chop veggies for stuffing, prep stuffing, cook stuffing, chop herbs/spices for turkey, prep turkey, cook turkey, peel potatoes, cook potatoes, prep rolls … I promise you I did all the prep the day before that I could and it was still a race. In a narrow city kitchen I did not want anyone else in there. Dishes had to be managed too. Cooking for 15 is no joke.

Chop all the veggies and herbs on Wed. Can also peel and soak potatoes overnight. If your kitchen and house isn't able to accommodate guests, then point people to a hotel. It's not right or fair to invite people then tell them the kitchen is closed for the day until 3. Once the turkey is in the oven it's a lot of waiting around. This would be fine if the guests weren't rolling in until about noon.

Oh come on. Staying out of the kitchen on Thanksgiving morning/day unless you are actively helping is literally the bare minimum of common sense. But yes, if your guests are not able to observe this bare minimum then they should stay at a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to do a better job of planning. You can make a lot the day before. If you are slogging in the kitchen 8-4 and no one can get in there to toast a bagel, you’re doing it wrong.

Pioneer Woman Make-Ahead Mashed Potatoes; make it the day before

Cranberry sauce, obviously make it the day before

Green beans, you can do the microwave steam bag

Pies, you can do the day before, or buy

Dressing, it takes 20 minutes to prep and get started in the crock pot; crock pot means you don’t have to mess with one more thing in the oven

Mac and cheese or practically any casserole, you make it the day before and heat up the day of

If you struggle with a whole turkey, get a few breasts and some legs

Seriously, there is barely anything to do day-of if you plan and prepare; you can also buy a lot or assign to guests

You’re making this a huge production when it’s not.

OP won't take your helpful advice. She just wants everyone to just dump on her sister. What's Thanksgiving without a host playing martyr? OP invited these people and now resents the hell out of them for existing.

My family would be pissed if I served that disgusting-*ss menu. I agree you can prep a lot ahead of time but some of us have higher standards.

Higher standards belong to competent and confident cooks. If you are neither, then corners can and should be cut.

Oh f off. Cooking a holiday meal for 15 is a feat for anyone. I’m not serving plain microwaved green beans and Stovetop just because the “adult boys” want to make scrambled eggs in the kitchen.

Why do people keep harping on the numbers? It's the same work for 8 guests as it is for 15. What's a few extra peeled potatoes or a larger turkey? Some of you are really doing a lot of exaggerating.

No it’s not the same. It’s literally twice the work and twice the volume and dishes. In a small kitchen that’s a big difference.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to do a better job of planning. You can make a lot the day before. If you are slogging in the kitchen 8-4 and no one can get in there to toast a bagel, you’re doing it wrong.

Pioneer Woman Make-Ahead Mashed Potatoes; make it the day before

Cranberry sauce, obviously make it the day before

Green beans, you can do the microwave steam bag

Pies, you can do the day before, or buy

Dressing, it takes 20 minutes to prep and get started in the crock pot; crock pot means you don’t have to mess with one more thing in the oven

Mac and cheese or practically any casserole, you make it the day before and heat up the day of

If you struggle with a whole turkey, get a few breasts and some legs

Seriously, there is barely anything to do day-of if you plan and prepare; you can also buy a lot or assign to guests

You’re making this a huge production when it’s not.

OP won't take your helpful advice. She just wants everyone to just dump on her sister. What's Thanksgiving without a host playing martyr? OP invited these people and now resents the hell out of them for existing.

My family would be pissed if I served that disgusting-*ss menu. I agree you can prep a lot ahead of time but some of us have higher standards.

Higher standards belong to competent and confident cooks. If you are neither, then corners can and should be cut.

Oh f off. Cooking a holiday meal for 15 is a feat for anyone. I’m not serving plain microwaved green beans and Stovetop just because the “adult boys” want to make scrambled eggs in the kitchen.

Why do people keep harping on the numbers? It's the same work for 8 guests as it is for 15. What's a few extra peeled potatoes or a larger turkey? Some of you are really doing a lot of exaggerating.

No it’s not the same. It’s literally twice the work and twice the volume and dishes. In a small kitchen that’s a big difference.

It’s literally not. There are economies of scale.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

No it didn't. What in God's name are you boiling for 8 hours?

I exaggerate a little but it was all systems go from 7am on. Chop veggies for stuffing, prep stuffing, cook stuffing, chop herbs/spices for turkey, prep turkey, cook turkey, peel potatoes, cook potatoes, prep rolls … I promise you I did all the prep the day before that I could and it was still a race. In a narrow city kitchen I did not want anyone else in there. Dishes had to be managed too. Cooking for 15 is no joke.

Chop all the veggies and herbs on Wed. Can also peel and soak potatoes overnight. If your kitchen and house isn't able to accommodate guests, then point people to a hotel. It's not right or fair to invite people then tell them the kitchen is closed for the day until 3. Once the turkey is in the oven it's a lot of waiting around. This would be fine if the guests weren't rolling in until about noon.

They're in the middle of a city, with numerous food and drink options within walking distance, not on the plains. They're getting several free meals as well as accommodation. It's utterly thoughtless to try and clog up someone's kitchen on what is arguably the biggest cooking day of the year.

Nuts. Breakfast is part of the holiday. Don’t host if you can’t handle it.

Stop me if I’m wrong, but I was raised to believe that it is very rude to expect your host to provide every meal to you on a multinight stay. It’s only common courtesy to have a few meals out, offer to take the hosts out, be mindful of messing up their kitchen. If you have little kids this changes a little. But being a good house guest has always meant being mindful of making a mess, inconveniencing the host, and not expecting the host to wait on you hand & foot. For Thanksgiving it is truly inexplicable that anyone would expect the host to provide an elaborate breakfast. If there’s any time a guest should be self-sufficient, that’s it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

I have. And you're doing it wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to do a better job of planning. You can make a lot the day before. If you are slogging in the kitchen 8-4 and no one can get in there to toast a bagel, you’re doing it wrong.

Pioneer Woman Make-Ahead Mashed Potatoes; make it the day before

Cranberry sauce, obviously make it the day before

Green beans, you can do the microwave steam bag

Pies, you can do the day before, or buy

Dressing, it takes 20 minutes to prep and get started in the crock pot; crock pot means you don’t have to mess with one more thing in the oven

Mac and cheese or practically any casserole, you make it the day before and heat up the day of

If you struggle with a whole turkey, get a few breasts and some legs

Seriously, there is barely anything to do day-of if you plan and prepare; you can also buy a lot or assign to guests

You’re making this a huge production when it’s not.

OP won't take your helpful advice. She just wants everyone to just dump on her sister. What's Thanksgiving without a host playing martyr? OP invited these people and now resents the hell out of them for existing.

My family would be pissed if I served that disgusting-*ss menu. I agree you can prep a lot ahead of time but some of us have higher standards.

Higher standards belong to competent and confident cooks. If you are neither, then corners can and should be cut.

Oh f off. Cooking a holiday meal for 15 is a feat for anyone. I’m not serving plain microwaved green beans and Stovetop just because the “adult boys” want to make scrambled eggs in the kitchen.

Why do people keep harping on the numbers? It's the same work for 8 guests as it is for 15. What's a few extra peeled potatoes or a larger turkey? Some of you are really doing a lot of exaggerating.

No it’s not the same. It’s literally twice the work and twice the volume and dishes. In a small kitchen that’s a big difference.

It’s literally not. There are economies of scale.

Some, but not much. Chop twice as many veggies. Cooking takes considerably longer. Set the table with twice as many dishes. It’s a truly huge task. When I did it I maybe had two more dishes than I needed to make but I don’t think I could have trimmed down the time any further, and I did all the prep on Tuesday and Wednesday I reasonably could.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

No it didn't. What in God's name are you boiling for 8 hours?

I exaggerate a little but it was all systems go from 7am on. Chop veggies for stuffing, prep stuffing, cook stuffing, chop herbs/spices for turkey, prep turkey, cook turkey, peel potatoes, cook potatoes, prep rolls … I promise you I did all the prep the day before that I could and it was still a race. In a narrow city kitchen I did not want anyone else in there. Dishes had to be managed too. Cooking for 15 is no joke.

No, you didn't. At a minimum, you can make the stuffing the day before, and chop herbs and vegetables.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

I have. And you're doing it wrong.

So what? the point is that it is a LOT of work to make Thanksgiving for 15 especially when you are also hosting a lot of people in your home. that I or OP are not kitchen experts with maximum efficiency is part of the whole reason good guests should help and not impose. It’s hard! And we don’t do it often!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

No it didn't. What in God's name are you boiling for 8 hours?

I exaggerate a little but it was all systems go from 7am on. Chop veggies for stuffing, prep stuffing, cook stuffing, chop herbs/spices for turkey, prep turkey, cook turkey, peel potatoes, cook potatoes, prep rolls … I promise you I did all the prep the day before that I could and it was still a race. In a narrow city kitchen I did not want anyone else in there. Dishes had to be managed too. Cooking for 15 is no joke.

No, you didn't. At a minimum, you can make the stuffing the day before, and chop herbs and vegetables.

thanks Martha. so I guess your view is that nobody non-perfect should host. I guess nobody should ever host. PS reheated stuffing is NOT “a good thing.”

[Anonymous]

Our Thanksgiving has 28 people coming. I laugh at your 15 like it’s hard. That’s a Sunday dinner for us and NBD. You need to prep more ahead of time and not host if you can’t handle making sure your guests have breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

+1

Sounds like OP pissed her off.

Sounds like sis was going to bring bagels for everyone but also wanted to cook a big breakfast for her family.

Sounds like it is unrealistic to expect growing boys to eat just bagels, and the alternative it starbucks.

So what? Nothing like being an ungrateful guest who isn't listing a finger to do anything for the group but complain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

I have. And you're doing it wrong.

So what? the point is that it is a LOT of work to make Thanksgiving for 15 especially when you are also hosting a lot of people in your home. that I or OP are not kitchen experts with maximum efficiency is part of the whole reason good guests should help and not impose. It’s hard! And we don’t do it often!

If you choose to do things the hard way, don’t have overnight guests.