Obnoxious Sister and Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

+1

Sounds like OP pissed her off.

Sounds like sis was going to bring bagels for everyone but also wanted to cook a big breakfast for her family.

Sounds like it is unrealistic to expect growing boys to eat just bagels, and the alternative it starbucks.

So what? Nothing like being an ungrateful guest who isn't listing a finger to do anything for the group but complain.

she offered to make the breakfast, that is lifting a few fingers

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

No it didn't. What in God's name are you boiling for 8 hours?

I exaggerate a little but it was all systems go from 7am on. Chop veggies for stuffing, prep stuffing, cook stuffing, chop herbs/spices for turkey, prep turkey, cook turkey, peel potatoes, cook potatoes, prep rolls … I promise you I did all the prep the day before that I could and it was still a race. In a narrow city kitchen I did not want anyone else in there. Dishes had to be managed too. Cooking for 15 is no joke.

No, you didn't. At a minimum, you can make the stuffing the day before, and chop herbs and vegetables.

thanks Martha. so I guess your view is that nobody non-perfect should host. I guess nobody should ever host. PS reheated stuffing is NOT “a good thing.”

NP. You are an inept host and you are projecting your anxiety and lack of skills onto your guests. It's not their fault you can't swallow your pride, give up, and order in food from Wegmans or even Cracker Barrell.

You are so inept you can't pre-chop vegetables? Cooking for 15 is not that hard, really. I make a huge spread. You are a poor host and you're making it everyone else's problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to do a better job of planning. You can make a lot the day before. If you are slogging in the kitchen 8-4 and no one can get in there to toast a bagel, you’re doing it wrong.

Pioneer Woman Make-Ahead Mashed Potatoes; make it the day before

Cranberry sauce, obviously make it the day before

Green beans, you can do the microwave steam bag

Pies, you can do the day before, or buy

Dressing, it takes 20 minutes to prep and get started in the crock pot; crock pot means you don’t have to mess with one more thing in the oven

Mac and cheese or practically any casserole, you make it the day before and heat up the day of

If you struggle with a whole turkey, get a few breasts and some legs

Seriously, there is barely anything to do day-of if you plan and prepare; you can also buy a lot or assign to guests

You’re making this a huge production when it’s not.

OP won't take your helpful advice. She just wants everyone to just dump on her sister. What's Thanksgiving without a host playing martyr? OP invited these people and now resents the hell out of them for existing.

My family would be pissed if I served that disgusting-*ss menu. I agree you can prep a lot ahead of time but some of us have higher standards.

Higher standards belong to competent and confident cooks. If you are neither, then corners can and should be cut.

+1. Exactly. If you can't pull off a Thanksgiving meal for *15* (big whoop, try 30, honey) without being a frazzled mess, you should stick to Stovetop and leave the real dishes to the competent cooks.

[Anonymous]

OP ignore the poster at 10:15. There is nothing wrong with setting boundaries/limits of what you are willing to do. I think your sister and BIL are outrageous. I say this after 20 years of catering to everyone's whim and deciding enough is enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. To the PP above - yes the truth is I’m nervous about getting dinner ready for 15 in my small kitchen. I’m not the best of cooks for large scale and I’m worried. I offered to host because I’m the middle point for family coming from all different directions and i’m the only one with a big enough house. My parents are elderly, my Dad isn’t doing well and I worry this could br one of the last times we are all together as a family. Everyone, except my sister, understands that I’m trying to keep things as simple as possible, so there is no stress and we can all enjoy each others time to the extent possible. I’m not mad about my sister’s bossiness and insistence that what I’m doing isn’t enough, I’m mad that when things didn’t go her way she is now pouting and refusing to bring bagels. Like who does that? It’s petty and obnoxious. And btw - her boys are babied by her and it’s embarrassing. They were never allowed to launch. They are great however. The problem has always been her. I always try to overlook her crazy and and I will do so this year too. Oh - and I like the suggestion of a breakfast casserole so I plan on having that to go with the bagels. Easy enough and will hopefully keep my sister happy and quiet for the day.

We get it op. Everyone is zooming in on "boys" and "bagels"
They don't understand that you're trying to pull something off with a lot of unknowns, and your sister is doing the bare minimum to help but making a lot of demands. These are all adults. Most will be sleeping until noon. They can find food if they need to eat. Then they'll all sit their expectant a$$es down at 4 and want more food and then leave you to clean up.

Gimme a break. OP isn't mission control for Apollo 13, she's preparing Thanksgiving dinner. Millions of people have done that, for centuries.

Also, all this is about OP being miffed that her sister isn't bringing bagels? Seriously? So all OP has to do is go get 2 dozen, bagels, some cream cheese, and there's absolutely no other impact on her? Good grief.

Have you ever made Thanksgiving for 15 in a small kitchen with a 4-burner stove? I have. It took every single burner & pot & pan from around 7am - 3pm.

I have. And you're doing it wrong.

+1

[Anonymous]

My son is little, but I sure hope that when he is a young man he will be a helpful and self-sufficient houseguest vs. sleeping until noon and expecting mommy to cook him a big breakfast while his hosts are busy preparing a full Thanksgiving spread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

+1

Sounds like OP pissed her off.

Sounds like sis was going to bring bagels for everyone but also wanted to cook a big breakfast for her family.

Sounds like it is unrealistic to expect growing boys to eat just bagels, and the alternative it starbucks.

So what? Nothing like being an ungrateful guest who isn't listing a finger to do anything for the group but complain.

she offered to make the breakfast, that is lifting a few fingers

No, she offered to make breakfast for her sons. Not for anyone else. Who the hell does that? So rude.

[Anonymous]

If you aren't prepared to feed your guests, you shouldn't be hosting. I know it's a lot of work, but you aren't planning and using your time well. Bagels shouldn't be a problem. If you are seriously working 8-4 and it's a problem to even have someone toast a bagel, you are honestly doing it wrong. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm just questioning why you can't acknowledge that there are tons of ways to make day-of a lot easier, and you're not open to that feedback. Why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't prepared to feed your guests, you shouldn't be hosting. I know it's a lot of work, but you aren't planning and using your time well. Bagels shouldn't be a problem. If you are seriously working 8-4 and it's a problem to even have someone toast a bagel, you are honestly doing it wrong. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm just questioning why you can't acknowledge that there are tons of ways to make day-of a lot easier, and you're not open to that feedback. Why?

Because OP doesn't want to address any of that. She wants us all to gripe about her sister. That's the whole point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

+1

Sounds like OP pissed her off.

Sounds like sis was going to bring bagels for everyone but also wanted to cook a big breakfast for her family.

Sounds like it is unrealistic to expect growing boys to eat just bagels, and the alternative it starbucks.

So what? Nothing like being an ungrateful guest who isn't listing a finger to do anything for the group but complain.

she offered to make the breakfast, that is lifting a few fingers

No, she offered to make breakfast for her sons. Not for anyone else. Who the hell does that? So rude.

Well at least some of the people will be partially fed. OP would rather have nobody eat breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get it. If she had arranged bagels for breakfast why did you make the comment about not making a big breakfast? It sounds like she had it handled without needing the kitchen.

+1

Sounds like OP pissed her off.

Sounds like sis was going to bring bagels for everyone but also wanted to cook a big breakfast for her family.

Sounds like it is unrealistic to expect growing boys to eat just bagels, and the alternative it starbucks.

So what? Nothing like being an ungrateful guest who isn't listing a finger to do anything for the group but complain.

she offered to make the breakfast, that is lifting a few fingers

For only her two adult children, not the group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't prepared to feed your guests, you shouldn't be hosting. I know it's a lot of work, but you aren't planning and using your time well. Bagels shouldn't be a problem. If you are seriously working 8-4 and it's a problem to even have someone toast a bagel, you are honestly doing it wrong. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm just questioning why you can't acknowledge that there are tons of ways to make day-of a lot easier, and you're not open to that feedback. Why?

She wasn't against people toasting bagels (that was her plan that her sister poo-pooed) and has since stated she would make an egg casserole in response to suggestions that bagels don't count as breakfast. She just doesn't want people cooking a meal in her kitchen - at noon when the "adult boys" are expected to roll out of bed - while she is trying to prepare a meal for 15.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't prepared to feed your guests, you shouldn't be hosting. I know it's a lot of work, but you aren't planning and using your time well. Bagels shouldn't be a problem. If you are seriously working 8-4 and it's a problem to even have someone toast a bagel, you are honestly doing it wrong. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm just questioning why you can't acknowledge that there are tons of ways to make day-of a lot easier, and you're not open to that feedback. Why?

She wasn't against people toasting bagels (that was her plan that her sister poo-pooed) and has since stated she would make an egg casserole in response to suggestions that bagels don't count as breakfast. She just doesn't want people cooking a meal in her kitchen - at noon when the "adult boys" are expected to roll out of bed - while she is trying to prepare a meal for 15.

There won't be room for an egg casserole in the oven, who is OP fooling by pretending to agree to this plan? Why are 10 people spending the night at this tiny house? What a nightmare. Sister and family (4), elderly parents (2), brother and his family (4?). This is worse than those beach house rental horror stories.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you aren't prepared to feed your guests, you shouldn't be hosting. I know it's a lot of work, but you aren't planning and using your time well. Bagels shouldn't be a problem. If you are seriously working 8-4 and it's a problem to even have someone toast a bagel, you are honestly doing it wrong. I'm not saying that to be mean, I'm just questioning why you can't acknowledge that there are tons of ways to make day-of a lot easier, and you're not open to that feedback. Why?

She wasn't against people toasting bagels (that was her plan that her sister poo-pooed) and has since stated she would make an egg casserole in response to suggestions that bagels don't count as breakfast. She just doesn't want people cooking a meal in her kitchen - at noon when the "adult boys" are expected to roll out of bed - while she is trying to prepare a meal for 15.

So you work with your sister to find a solution. "How about hard-boiled eggs instead, and some charcuterie a little later to tide them over until dinner? You're welcome to bring anything, but if you could keep it to the parlor or the living room and stay out of the kitchen, that would be great."

Look at that, a two-sentence solution.

[Anonymous]

I'll admit that I'm still fixated on this phrase - "one of my nephew’s adult girlfriends". How many adult girlfriends does he have?