Stop asking student tour guides where they're applying to college

[Anonymous]

Where is OP claiming that DC can't "aptly handle small talk"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

+1
I will continue to ask. If the tour guide is too sensitive about their personal experiences at the school, they need a different role.

[Anonymous]

Well, not the PP, but if a simple question about their college interests sends the kid into enough of a tizzy that they went home to mommy...and that mommy is sufficiently outraged to start a thread, I suspect that resilience and extemporaneous conversation is not on the top ten attributes of the student guide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

+1
I will continue to ask. If the tour guide is too sensitive about their personal experiences at the school, they need a different role.

How many tours do you go on and why are you obsessed with knowing? Especially now that it exposes you as an obnoxious boor?

[Anonymous]

So is it rude to ever ask any senior this question, or is it only rude in the OP’s situation? Because I distinctly recall being asked this same question by everyone when I was a senior, whether it was an acquaintance of my parents, my boss or a customer at work that was chatting with me, or a friend’s parents. It was just small talk. And later in the school year it changed from “where are you applying” to “where are you going to college?”

It’s weird to treat this information as confidential.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s inconsiderate to ask any HS senior but it’s rude to ask a stranger. As many posters have explained, life is different than it was 20 or 30 years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

+1
I will continue to ask. If the tour guide is too sensitive about their personal experiences at the school, they need a different role.

How many tours do you go on and why are you obsessed with knowing? Especially now that it exposes you as an obnoxious boor?

We've been on 6 tours. I'm interested in how articulate the students are because it says something about their ability to navigate social situations, which is an important life skill. If your kid can't handle it and they are a senior, then it's not the right fit for my child/family. That's information I need to have. I agree it's the equivalent of the cocktail party question 'where do you live/work'.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

+1
I will continue to ask. If the tour guide is too sensitive about their personal experiences at the school, they need a different role.

How many tours do you go on and why are you obsessed with knowing? Especially now that it exposes you as an obnoxious boor?

We've been on 6 tours. I'm interested in how articulate the students are because it says something about their ability to navigate social situations, which is an important life skill. If your kid can't handle it and they are a senior, then it's not the right fit for my child/family. That's information I need to have. I agree it's the equivalent of the cocktail party question 'where do you live/work'.

Good, I hope you don't get the answer you're looking for so that you self select out. On a recent tour we got a pamphlet where the graduating class of 2023 matriculated and we found that very helpful information. No need to harass the tour guide there were plenty of other questions to ask that actually mattered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s inconsiderate to ask any HS senior but it’s rude to ask a stranger. As many posters have explained, life is different than it was 20 or 30 years ago.

Why is it different, though? How is it any different than "what do you do?" when meeting another adult and engaging in small talk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think student guides should report these parents to the admissions office. I went on probably ten tours last Fall and no one asked these ridiculous and rude questions so hopefully these posters are way outliers. In light of how many competent kids applied to the schools we were interested in, there is zero reason to give further consideration to any families that behave in this way. I would instantly move them to the reject pile.

Bahahahahaha. Yeah, schools will definitely not consider the applications of families who have the audacity to ask a tour guide where they are interested in attending college.

Are you serious?

Yep. The student who have shadowers typically report on the kids who follow them. Why not have the tour guides have a box for a*holes? It would be super easy and a very simple way for my Big3 schools to get rid of these undesirables.

Don’t get me wrong. Big3 parents think these thoughts ALL THE TIME and post them on anonymous message boards. But there is a huge difference between thinking it and saying it. You can think these questions all you want in your head but if you don’t have the wherewithal to shut your trap and not ask a high school child I definitely don’t want you anywhere near my kid. Signed, parent on the inside.

If someone asks a high school junior/senior where they are applying to college you don't want them anywhere near your kid?

This is an unhinged take even by DCUM standards.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s inconsiderate to ask any HS senior but it’s rude to ask a stranger. As many posters have explained, life is different than it was 20 or 30 years ago.

Why is it different, though? How is it any different than "what do you do?" when meeting another adult and engaging in small talk.

Because they are only applying to schools. It's just wishful thinking in some cases. Why do you think they need to share this with you? They don't currently go to any college so they aren't "doing" anything. A more applicable question would be "what classes are you taking now"?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Where is OP claiming that DC can't "aptly handle small talk"?

If DC finds it so distressing that he reports it to his mommy and she feels compelled to anonymously rant and demand that people fall in line with her expectations of appropriate inquiries on a tour, it's safe to say he's not handling mildly invasive but ultimately harmless small talk well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where is OP claiming that DC can't "aptly handle small talk"?

If DC finds it so distressing that he reports it to his mommy and she feels compelled to anonymously rant and demand that people fall in line with her expectations of appropriate inquiries on a tour, it's safe to say he's not handling mildly invasive but ultimately harmless small talk well.

It's not appropriate. But keep doing it anyway and pat yourself on the back for your impeccable social skills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s inconsiderate to ask any HS senior but it’s rude to ask a stranger. As many posters have explained, life is different than it was 20 or 30 years ago.

Why is it different, though? How is it any different than "what do you do?" when meeting another adult and engaging in small talk.

Because they are only applying to schools. It's just wishful thinking in some cases. Why do you think they need to share this with you? They don't currently go to any college so they aren't "doing" anything. A more applicable question would be "what classes are you taking now"?

This is nonsense. It's not rude to ask people about their thoughts and plans for the future. Small talk is not limited to topics only regarding what is happening now.

I was making small talk with a client at work while waiting for my boss and she asked me where I see my career heading and what kind of roles I would like to move into. Who cares? I didn't think it was invasive, but I also didn't really want to talk about it because it's kind of a loaded topic in my life right now. I answered vaguely and pivoted the conversation. No harm was done, she meant no ill intent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think it’s inconsiderate to ask any HS senior but it’s rude to ask a stranger. As many posters have explained, life is different than it was 20 or 30 years ago.

Why is it different, though? How is it any different than "what do you do?" when meeting another adult and engaging in small talk.

Because they are only applying to schools. It's just wishful thinking in some cases. Why do you think they need to share this with you? They don't currently go to any college so they aren't "doing" anything. A more applicable question would be "what classes are you taking now"?

That goes to whether it's relevant or helpful, as opposed to "inconsiderate." And by your logic, asking a child or teenager what they would like to do when they grow up would be similarly "inconsiderate" because it's just wishful thinking?

A HS senior should be handle basic questions about themselves. No wonder we are seeing such an uptick in mental health crises with our kids in this country.