Stop asking student tour guides where they're applying to college

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

This

We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was. Had one kid that came across as not very bright and stated he was going to Stanford. That was surprising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

This

We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was. Had one kid that came across as not very bright and stated he was going to Stanford. That was surprising.

Probably a URM, athlete, or donor’s child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Generally kids here at XYZHS apply to a wide range of schools. There is actually a list of matriculations in your welcome packet."

Done.

Except there isn’t a list of matriculations in your welcome packet. There is a list of schools where at least one kid matriculated over the last 4 years (and I am not sure it is in the welcome packet) which is essentially useless information.

Then ask the Admissions office for more information

They literally won’t give it to you…if only it was that easy.

Ours is on the website, and there is a page of 2023 grads with how many matriculated at each school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

This

We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was. Had one kid that came across as not very bright and stated he was going to Stanford. That was surprising.

This is exactly why these questions are useless. It's not the school that affects top admissions - it's having a hook. If your kid isn't hooked, don't count on T20. Especially at highly regarded private schools filled with hooked kids.

Plus - if a student already knows they are going to Stanford during fall tours, they are a recruited athlete. Even for EA/SCEA/ED tops schools don't release decisions until December (and they are typically in the latter half of December).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

This

We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was. Had one kid that came across as not very bright and stated he was going to Stanford. That was surprising.

This is exactly why these questions are useless. It's not the school that affects top admissions - it's having a hook. If your kid isn't hooked, don't count on T20. Especially at highly regarded private schools filled with hooked kids.

Plus - if a student already knows they are going to Stanford during fall tours, they are a recruited athlete. Even for EA/SCEA/ED tops schools don't release decisions until December (and they are typically in the latter half of December).

How many recruited athletes are there to Stanford from the DMV private school scene? Assuming it’s less than three, you should delete this post. You are calling said kid stupid (aka “came across as not very bright”). Plus, the fact that you are posting that a kid came across as stupid on an anonymous message board speaks volumes about YOUR stupidity, assuming you are a grown up. And it’s further proof that the morons that ask these questions should be excluded from the Big3 private our child attends. Finally, if you think Stanford is admitting based on a kids ability to lead an admissions tour group at their high school I have a bridge to sell you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

This

We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was. Had one kid that came across as not very bright and stated he was going to Stanford. That was surprising.

WOW. How could you make such an intellectual assessment from a brief school tour?! That student could have been introverted, reserved, speech impediment, sleepy, etc etc. The possibilities are endless but there is no way to accurately determine aptitude from such an encounter. And let me assure you, Stanford's comprehensive evaluation of that application is certainly more reliable than your opinion after a school tour, knowing nothing about said student. Ridiculous!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was.

This reveals quite a lot about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

This

We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was. Had one kid that came across as not very bright and stated he was going to Stanford. That was surprising.

What wouldn’t have been surprising?? What’s surprising is thinking that asking a student tour guide what College/University they are attending during a fall tour will net you an answer that tells you anything meaningful about the school or the student.

These guides are not your friends or the kids of your friends. They are serving a role for the school to facilitate group tours and answer questions about the school from a student point of view. Their personal business is just that, their personal business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

This

We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was. Had one kid that came across as not very bright and stated he was going to Stanford. That was surprising.

What wouldn’t have been surprising?? What’s surprising is thinking that asking a student tour guide what College/University they are attending during a fall tour will net you an answer that tells you anything meaningful about the school or the student.

These guides are not your friends or the kids of your friends. They are serving a role for the school to facilitate group tours and answer questions about the school from a student point of view. Their personal business is just that, their personal business.

Not true. When they apply to be a tour guide, they are putting themselves up front as a representative for a school. Asking about college they might be attending is - as someone else said above - expected cocktail party chatter. And if touring a school, I would certainly want to find out as much as possible about college opportunities. If the student guide doesn't like it, there are many good suggestions about about how to deflect. Or do something other than tours if that worked up over the issue (I think only mom is worked up).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

This

We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was. Had one kid that came across as not very bright and stated he was going to Stanford. That was surprising.

What wouldn’t have been surprising?? What’s surprising is thinking that asking a student tour guide what College/University they are attending during a fall tour will net you an answer that tells you anything meaningful about the school or the student.

These guides are not your friends or the kids of your friends. They are serving a role for the school to facilitate group tours and answer questions about the school from a student point of view. Their personal business is just that, their personal business.

Not true. When they apply to be a tour guide, they are putting themselves up front as a representative for a school. Asking about college they might be attending is - as someone else said above - expected cocktail party chatter. And if touring a school, I would certainly want to find out as much as possible about college opportunities. If the student guide doesn't like it, there are many good suggestions about about how to deflect. Or do something other than tours if that worked up over the issue (I think only mom is worked up).

What you fail to understand is that it's NOT polite or expected chatter. And if it's really only chatter, which seems odd given how defensive the Nosey Nellies are, find something else to talk about. If that's hard for you on the spot, think about and write down your questions in advance so you don't make a fool out of yourself asking rude questions on a tour, embarrassing your kid. The OP is just writing a PSA for people like you who don't get it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC conducts tours for prospective students. On almost every tour, DC is asked where he is applying to college. He is happy to talk about the college guidance office and the process in general, but asking someone where they're applying is not okay. It's personal and absolutely none of your business. Please stop. There are far better and more relevant questions to ask.

Okay snowflake

Maybe a public-facing role is not a fit for your fragile kid

PP, what is wrong with you? What a stupid response. It’s not fragile to expect people to have manners, but you’re clearly unfamiliar with manners.

OP — totally agree. It’s rude and irrelevant, and I cringe when people ask that on tours.

It's not rude. it's a common question to ask any junior or senior.

In fact, it'd be great practice if your teen can give a 20 second response on their interests and why they match with program x y and z. whereever those x y z colleges may be.

No one can argue with logic. "I'm interested in environmental science and hope to go to U COlorado Boulder. It has a great program for that."

Of course your snowflake may say: "I'm hoping to go to Harvard so I can be a career protestor and save the PLO for its invader opppressors."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

This

We asked the question. Didn’t really care what the answer was. Had one kid that came across as not very bright and stated he was going to Stanford. That was surprising.

What wouldn’t have been surprising?? What’s surprising is thinking that asking a student tour guide what College/University they are attending during a fall tour will net you an answer that tells you anything meaningful about the school or the student.

These guides are not your friends or the kids of your friends. They are serving a role for the school to facilitate group tours and answer questions about the school from a student point of view. Their personal business is just that, their personal business.

We absolutely judged our parent tour guide. And did not apply because of her. Plus a few other concerns but they all added up to a false facade at the Big 3 or 5 or whatever school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There was a great article in the NYTimes about how normal stressors are viewed by today's teens as a serious mental health issues. Like instead of saying I feel very nervous about standing up in front of class to give my presentation, they think they have a social anxiety disorder. Every one of us was asked awkward questions when we were teens and we learned how to brush them off. They were more likely to be "why don't you have a boyfriend?" from my elderly aunt for me in the 1980s but we need to teach our teens how to have lots of different social interactions without becoming unglued.

You all keep missing the point. The point isn't whether kids can answer awkward questions. The point is a PSA to adults to get them up to speed on the fact that this is no longer an appropriate small talk topic, no longer simple question. College admissions has changed so much in the last 4 years...it was already stressful before that.

I get the point and I never ask this question myself. But life is filled with awkward questions and you are missing the point that we need to teach our teenagers how to handle themselves in uncomfortable situations, particularly when they have to interact with people of a different generation or from a different culture. I know that some people wish we could curate settings with nothing but easy social interactions for our kids but that's not likely going to be how the rest of their lives work. And if the worst most stressful thing that your 17 has to deal with is someone asking about their college applications they are extraordinarily fortunate.

+1000 I seriously worry about the resilience of this generation of kids! And their parents are not helping.

Why can't you guys read the thread properly and actually understand we are NOT talking about kids being fragile?

.

Being offended by an innocent question is the definition of fragile.

Yep

They aren't saying they are offended; they are saying it is a rude question.

that's one and the same though.

plus it's their personal opinion.

am willing to bet the teen didn't really care but once they told OP, she sure got all persnickety and offended.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DC conducts tours for prospective students. On almost every tour, DC is asked where he is applying to college. He is happy to talk about the college guidance office and the process in general, but asking someone where they're applying is not okay. It's personal and absolutely none of your business. Please stop. There are far better and more relevant questions to ask.

Okay snowflake

Maybe a public-facing role is not a fit for your fragile kid

PP, what is wrong with you? What a stupid response. It’s not fragile to expect people to have manners, but you’re clearly unfamiliar with manners.

OP — totally agree. It’s rude and irrelevant, and I cringe when people ask that on tours.

It's not rude. it's a common question to ask any junior or senior.

In fact, it'd be great practice if your teen can give a 20 second response on their interests and why they match with program x y and z. whereever those x y z colleges may be.

No one can argue with logic. "I'm interested in environmental science and hope to go to U COlorado Boulder. It has a great program for that."

Of course your snowflake may say: "I'm hoping to go to Harvard so I can be a career protestor and save the PLO for its invader opppressors."

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't be serious. That's the tour guide equivalent of cocktail party question. Where do you live/work. Good lord.

Not OP but the where do you work/what do you do question needs to die.