Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?

[Anonymous]

Only if I’m puttering around my house or picking up a quart of milk will I dress down. If I’m going somewhere and meeting with others for any reason I always dress attractively and comfortably. And I like it when my husband says how nice I look. I’m not dressing for him but it’s nice to receive a compliment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is fascinating to look at photographs of cities and people back in the 1950s and earlier and notice how dressed up everyone was in public, even the working people. And for an older generation, they still wore ties to do chores around the house. People clearly believed it was part of being a citizen to show respect for others by dressing nicely in public. And I do agree there is merit to it. I definitely treat people who dress better differently than those who are slobs and indifferent.

Well, that makes you shallow. Not sure why you're bragging about that.

How people look is like product packaging. All things being equal you will select the product that looks better. It’s not shallow, it’s just human nature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It is fascinating to look at photographs of cities and people back in the 1950s and earlier and notice how dressed up everyone was in public, even the working people. And for an older generation, they still wore ties to do chores around the house. People clearly believed it was part of being a citizen to show respect for others by dressing nicely in public. And I do agree there is merit to it. I definitely treat people who dress better differently than those who are slobs and indifferent.

Well, that makes you shallow. Not sure why you're bragging about that.

How people look is like product packaging. All things being equal you will select the product that looks better. It’s not shallow, it’s just human nature.

This is the point - no one is being "selected" while they are out grocery shopping. Maybe stop objectifying people who clearly don't want it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

They care about the people who matter.

I think this response actually illustrates a previous poster’s point about dressing nicely being a sign of respect.

Many people in this thread have said they don’t feel the need to dress nicely to go to the grocery store, or the post office, or Target, etc. And I think that subtly sends the message (intentionally or not) that the people you encounter at those places (most notably the employees) simply don’t matter and are not worthy of any extra consideration.

Oh for gd's sake.

[Anonymous]

OP here - wow this is a much more heated debate than I thought it would be.

I think there is a huge range between wearing your pajamas out in public and dressing like a runway model. Of course you don't need to dress to the nines to go to Target or the grocery store. But I do think people should have some basic decorum and not wear their pjs out in public. Where do leggings fall on that range is very subjective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

I care about PEOPLE not what people WEAR.
Do you not grasp the difference?

You aren’t what you say, you’re what you do.

Do you not grasp the difference?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

They care about the people who matter.

I think this response actually illustrates a previous poster’s point about dressing nicely being a sign of respect.

Many people in this thread have said they don’t feel the need to dress nicely to go to the grocery store, or the post office, or Target, etc. And I think that subtly sends the message (intentionally or not) that the people you encounter at those places (most notably the employees) simply don’t matter and are not worthy of any extra consideration.

Oh for gd's sake.

If you have an actual counter argument I’m sure we’d all be interested to hear it…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - wow this is a much more heated debate than I thought it would be.

I think there is a huge range between wearing your pajamas out in public and dressing like a runway model. Of course you don't need to dress to the nines to go to Target or the grocery store. But I do think people should have some basic decorum and not wear their pjs out in public. Where do leggings fall on that range is very subjective.

Very overweight women should not appear in public in leggings. That’s not subjective!

[Anonymous]

The topic title's premise is false. The past is full of people who did not try to look attractive when they went out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

I care about PEOPLE not what people WEAR.
Do you not grasp the difference?

You aren’t what you say, you’re what you do.

Do you not grasp the difference?

I'm not the one judging what people wear (action) and making snarky comments (action).
So yeah, I think I do grasp the difference. If you want to wear your pantyhose and it makes you feel good, amazing, more power to you! But treating someone else who prefers sweats or joggers or leggings as lesser than you is your action of being a shallow disgusting person.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.

I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.

Social work draws the very best people with deep hearts who just want to help. Unfortunately, it also the very worst of humanity, the type who salivate over and thoroughly enjoy other people’s misery; the type with a power trip in their position to change other people’s lives; the type who feel thoroughly superior to their clients.

While no remotely decent mental healthcare worker would deign to pretend to diagnose a person sight unseen from a forum post, I can very well guess which type of social worker you are. And I’ll bet you’re fugly to boot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

They care about the people who matter.

I think this response actually illustrates a previous poster’s point about dressing nicely being a sign of respect.

Many people in this thread have said they don’t feel the need to dress nicely to go to the grocery store, or the post office, or Target, etc. And I think that subtly sends the message (intentionally or not) that the people you encounter at those places (most notably the employees) simply don’t matter and are not worthy of any extra consideration.

How about saying hello and treating them considerately instead?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here - wow this is a much more heated debate than I thought it would be.

I think there is a huge range between wearing your pajamas out in public and dressing like a runway model. Of course you don't need to dress to the nines to go to Target or the grocery store. But I do think people should have some basic decorum and not wear their pjs out in public. Where do leggings fall on that range is very subjective.

Very overweight women should not appear in public in leggings. That’s not subjective!

Leggings are for kids and dancers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.

I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.

Social work draws the very best people with deep hearts who just want to help. Unfortunately, it also the very worst of humanity, the type who salivate over and thoroughly enjoy other people’s misery; the type with a power trip in their position to change other people’s lives; the type who feel thoroughly superior to their clients.

While no remotely decent mental healthcare worker would deign to pretend to diagnose a person sight unseen from a forum post, I can very well guess which type of social worker you are. And I’ll bet you’re fugly to boot.

We obviously have a troll here, people. Please don’t feed her.

[Anonymous]

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