Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

I care about PEOPLE not what people WEAR.
Do you not grasp the difference?

You aren’t what you say, you’re what you do.

Do you not grasp the difference?

I'm not the one judging what people wear (action) and making snarky comments (action).
So yeah, I think I do grasp the difference. If you want to wear your pantyhose and it makes you feel good, amazing, more power to you! But treating someone else who prefers sweats or joggers or leggings as lesser than you is your action of being a shallow disgusting person.

I didn’t intend for my comments to be snarky. I am sincerely interested in this topic and I have come to the conclusion that dressing increasingly slobbishly in public is a sign of our society’s continued trend toward narcissism.

Again, you can *say* that you respect other people (although at least one previous poster admitted that strangers are just “background noise” to her so I feel I am not entirely off base here) but if your actions do not indicate respect/consideration (say by putting on pants that don’t show the outline of your private parts before you enter their place of employment, for example) then I would argue that you don’t actually respect them. You’re probably not deliberately trying to offend them; you just don’t even think about them. They don’t even register to you. That’s certainly not respect.

And I am not saying you’re a bad person for dressing however you want, whenever you want, wherever you want. I am simply saying that your mindset is indicative of narcissism. You can take that however you choose, but I think you sense the truth of it and that’s why you responded so aggressively.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.

I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.

Social work draws the very best people with deep hearts who just want to help. Unfortunately, it also the very worst of humanity, the type who salivate over and thoroughly enjoy other people’s misery; the type with a power trip in their position to change other people’s lives; the type who feel thoroughly superior to their clients.

While no remotely decent mental healthcare worker would deign to pretend to diagnose a person sight unseen from a forum post, I can very well guess which type of social worker you are. And I’ll bet you’re fugly to boot.

Wow! Who hurt you?

[Anonymous]

I love leggings. Leggings are the best.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.

I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.

Social work draws the very best people with deep hearts who just want to help. Unfortunately, it also the very worst of humanity, the type who salivate over and thoroughly enjoy other people’s misery; the type with a power trip in their position to change other people’s lives; the type who feel thoroughly superior to their clients.

While no remotely decent mental healthcare worker would deign to pretend to diagnose a person sight unseen from a forum post, I can very well guess which type of social worker you are. And I’ll bet you’re fugly to boot.

Wow! Who hurt you?

It’s just an observation, not a sign of being hurt by anyone. Luckily, I’ve never had to deal with any, but a lot of social workers are evil. I thought everyone knew that.

Again, I cannot believe how oblivious people are to obvious things, like some social workers are bad people who feel superior to and get off on the power they have over those less fortunate than they are and that dressing sloppily in gym attire outside of the gym shows a deep disrespect to others.

Would you wear your sweats or leggings as pants to court? No, because there you care about impressing someone you deem to be in power over you, but the other people at a restaurant, they just don’t matter, do they?

The narcissism here is frightening.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.

I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.

Social work draws the very best people with deep hearts who just want to help. Unfortunately, it also the very worst of humanity, the type who salivate over and thoroughly enjoy other people’s misery; the type with a power trip in their position to change other people’s lives; the type who feel thoroughly superior to their clients.

While no remotely decent mental healthcare worker would deign to pretend to diagnose a person sight unseen from a forum post, I can very well guess which type of social worker you are. And I’ll bet you’re fugly to boot.

We obviously have a troll here, people. Please don’t feed her.

The thing is, there are people who genuinely believe that dressing up is a sign of self-respect. I had to stop watching Queer Eye because Tan France was one of them. I know it’s his job, but you can help people who want to dress better without saying that those who don’t have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - wow this is a much more heated debate than I thought it would be.

I think there is a huge range between wearing your pajamas out in public and dressing like a runway model. Of course you don't need to dress to the nines to go to Target or the grocery store. But I do think people should have some basic decorum and not wear their pjs out in public. Where do leggings fall on that range is very subjective.

Agree. I only would judge someone who is out in public in pajamas. But, even then, who knows? Maybe they've dragged themselves out of bed to get a prescription and this is the best they can do.

I had to help write a work dress code at one point and I realized that I think people can look better in a cute pair of jeans and a t-shirt than they do wearing something like dark pantyhose with cheap white pumps, or requiring a tie which means some guys pick really dreadful ones when they would do better without.

Wearing ugly clothes that are more dressy/formal can look a lot worse than clean, new Athleisure and flats or sneakers that show some sense of contemporary fashion and the way we live now. Yes to less makeup and overdone manicures too.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.

I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.

Social work draws the very best people with deep hearts who just want to help. Unfortunately, it also the very worst of humanity, the type who salivate over and thoroughly enjoy other people’s misery; the type with a power trip in their position to change other people’s lives; the type who feel thoroughly superior to their clients.

While no remotely decent mental healthcare worker would deign to pretend to diagnose a person sight unseen from a forum post, I can very well guess which type of social worker you are. And I’ll bet you’re fugly to boot.

We obviously have a troll here, people. Please don’t feed her.

The thing is, there are people who genuinely believe that dressing up is a sign of self-respect. I had to stop watching Queer Eye because Tan France was one of them. I know it’s his job, but you can help people who want to dress better without saying that those who don’t have issues.

This isn’t a matter of dressing better, it’s about dressing appropriately. It’s okay to have different tastes than other people. That is a subjective matter of opinion. What is not okay is being dressed in inappropriate attire, such as wearing sweatpants anywhere outside of your house or the gym. It shows a considerable disrespect to the people around you. I cannot understand how not only do people not get that, they’re defensive and aggressive to those who do.

[Anonymous]

You are presuming that the human body is disgusting if you aren’t “perfect” so it’s disrespectful. Many of us don’t subscribe to the one way to look theory. I don’t find other humans disgusting (and I am fit). Everyone’s lives are different. Everyone goes through different stuff, bodies are different. I don’t believe some people are subhuman based on their looks or weight as many of you are commenting. Those of you who are remarking on people’s bodies are odious. Please stop. Your great body and clothes don’t make you a better person. Have a heart!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.

I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.

Social work draws the very best people with deep hearts who just want to help. Unfortunately, it also the very worst of humanity, the type who salivate over and thoroughly enjoy other people’s misery; the type with a power trip in their position to change other people’s lives; the type who feel thoroughly superior to their clients.

While no remotely decent mental healthcare worker would deign to pretend to diagnose a person sight unseen from a forum post, I can very well guess which type of social worker you are. And I’ll bet you’re fugly to boot.

We obviously have a troll here, people. Please don’t feed her.

The thing is, there are people who genuinely believe that dressing up is a sign of self-respect. I had to stop watching Queer Eye because Tan France was one of them. I know it’s his job, but you can help people who want to dress better without saying that those who don’t have issues.

This isn’t a matter of dressing better, it’s about dressing appropriately. It’s okay to have different tastes than other people. That is a subjective matter of opinion. What is not okay is being dressed in inappropriate attire, such as wearing sweatpants anywhere outside of your house or the gym. It shows a considerable disrespect to the people around you. I cannot understand how not only do people not get that, they’re defensive and aggressive to those who do.

That is subjective and a matter of opinion. Who is to say what is inappropriate? If a business posts a dress code, you follow it if I want to go in. Otherwise, any type of clothing is appropriate, despite your opinion of it being otherwise. You don't set the rules in public.

[Anonymous]

I guess people figured they don't need to try so hard to impress other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a middle aged woman who sent to six stores today to find a pair of jeans that fit correctly. Clothes kinda suck right now so I keep wearing what’s in my closet. Never leggings though. Leggings aren’t pants.

Leggings are fine. I manage to look put together in leggings with a cute top/sweater. I’m a size 2 so that probably helps, no cellulite showing through. It’s possible to look nice on leggings if they fit your body type well.

[Anonymous]

People are tired. Many are depressed.
I often go out unwashed and poorly dressed, if I'm only walking the dog or running an errand. I do feel better when I put in the effort but I rarely do, unless I have plans to see a friend or do something specific.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I was younger, I was much more insecure about my looks so I always put on makeup even to go to the grocery store. Thankfully, I'm much older now, so I don't really care sometimes.

This.

I do moisturize though and apply hair product because otherwise my 4A hair gets really dry fast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

What about men? They aren't even brushing their teeth or wiping their butts. At least women do that!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is fascinating to look at photographs of cities and people back in the 1950s and earlier and notice how dressed up everyone was in public, even the working people. And for an older generation, they still wore ties to do chores around the house. People clearly believed it was part of being a citizen to show respect for others by dressing nicely in public. And I do agree there is merit to it. I definitely treat people who dress better differently than those who are slobs and indifferent.

Maybe you should treat everyone with respect regardless of what they're wearing.
And many people who are slobs and indifferent are struggling. Treating them poorly isn't going to help. It makes far more sense to treat them with a little extra kindness.