Why have people given up on looking attractive when they go out?

[Anonymous]

Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think work at home and everyone fell off a cliff after the Covid pandemic/isolation.

When I started working for the Feds in 1995, I was required to wear panty hose. Men had to wear ties. Fast forward 5 years and 'business casual' was introduced. It was still actually 'business-like' and you only wore jeans on 'casual Friday' I had a lot of black trousers and professional tops, etc. Fast forward a little more and things slowly slid--people started working dark wash jeans, then I started to see sneakers...and then I saw my first pair of fuzzy slippers coming down the hall.

For awhile, when attorneys came in for a meeting you still had to dress professional. The men on the hall shared the same navy blazer in tie on the back of someone's door to throw which was quite comical given the size differences in these guys.

I started WAH in 2005 and when I'd pop in the office people were in all states of unbrushed hair, unkempt attire.

I spend most of my day in workout gear since I usually workout mid-day. So walking the dog- I admit--don't look my best but manage to throw on jeans and big sunglasses and brush my hair.

I do get dressed up, make-up, hair for going out to dinner--restaurants, parties and pull out all stops for special occasions weddings, work galas, etc. My sons have always had to put on a polo/collared shirt when we went out to eat. We never looks schlubby in restaurants. They now go to a private HS and are required to wear khakis, dress shoes, belt and collared shirt of their choosing. It's been great because it's upped their game. They are athletes so will still wear athletic gear, sweats, etc when not at school (unless going out to eat or its a holiday, etc).

I am still giggling to myself about 'casual Fridays'. I remember how exciting that was but also the dilemna of how to dress for it exactly. Some men had their mom jeans and belts. What was 'too casual' was always a dilemna. I even remember emails about when people had crossed the line and a reminder about acceptable office attire went out (and this was a Fed office ).

My how the mighty have fallen...every day is a 'casual friday'...more like 'roll out of bed' attire.

I worked at a K street lobbying firm and finally in 2008/9, we were allowed to have casual Fridays, which consisted of not wearing suits (oh lala) but instead, it would be acceptable for women to wear, say, a blazer and more casual pants (although not jeans of course)

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

+1. Don't move to LA. That balding guy in sweats and a hoodie makes more than you coupd dream of AND the restaurant management is delighted he's there. You are a nobody, dear.

I used to work in entertainment. People dress fairly well. Maybe that guy just told you he was a big producer to you know, get to know you better.

They don't need to tell me who they are. Anyone who currently works in the industry recognizes them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

They care about the people who matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

+ 1, I really could not agree more with this!

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No excuses ladies. You don’t take care of yourselves anymore

You use "taking care of yourself" as code for "striving to appear physically attractive to others". How misogynistic of you.

I'm in excellent health and have excellent hygiene. I usually wear athletic clothing with my hair in a pony tail and no make up. Why should I care whether randos think I'm attractive or not?

I started my professional career, like a PP, being required to wear pantyhose and makeup. I'm SO glad those days are over!

It’s not about others thinking I’m attractive. It’s about respect for myself and respect for those around me. When I’m dressed up and put together, I work harder and do better in everything. You can tell my mental state by the state of my nails.

Besides, it takes just as much time to put on sweatpants as it does to put on a nice outfit. Or do your dressy clothes have some sort of weird contraptions?

I also started off my career in pantyhose and makeup and I wish business formal attire were still a thing. It made most people more present, focused, hardworking and more respectful.

We are degenerating as a society, unfortunately.

Pantyhose =/= respecting others

Perhaps not, hopping out of bed and going out half washed, with your greasy hair pulled into a ponytail, in your leggings to work or the doctor’s office is a huge FU to everyone you encounter.

As long as someone is clean, wearing sweat pants or leggings is not an FU to anyone. Why would you take it personally what anyone else wears?

I do take it personally because it shows a complete lack of manners, proper decorum and respect for others. It’s like picking your nose in public or spitting on the street. Sweatpants are for lounging around your house. They are not proper attire to wear in the outside world. Leggings are not pants. They are for being worn under dresses or for working out. If I see you running in the park, wearing either, I won’t mind, but if you’re wearing that out to dinner or work, yeah, it bothers me A LOT that I have to look at you being that rude.

It’s especially bad if you are the big and beautiful type that likes to wear leggings. I don’t want to see the cellulite in your thighs up that close and personal.

Why even bother getting dressed? Being naked works, too.

I cannot believe how people can be so oblivious to how rude they are.

So anyone who doesnt prescribe to DCUM user 555984832738's definition of style is "rude"? LOL puh-lease. You are delulu and are in fact, the rude one. Fat shaming too? Cherry on top.

Aw, and here we have it: a BB type who wears leggings to dinner…and wants all of us to ignore it because she’s fabulous just as she is.

Why are you busy obsessing over what other people are wearing rather than enjoying the company of your dining party and the food? I couldn't tell you what other people are wearing when I go out and I truly can't imagine their sartorial choices preventing me from having a good time.

For me going out to bars and restaurants is for people watching, not just for food/drinks and conversation with my friends and family. I cannot help but notice an obese woman in skin tight leggings as pants a table over from me. Perhaps, I’m not a self-absorbed as others are. I like to look at other people, not to judge, but to observe. I like seeing well dressed, manicured people. It makes me happy. It makes me feel good that others care about putting their best foot forward. It’s no different than when a stranger smiles and says hello rather than walking by me with a frown.

And if you’re dressed terribly in a nice place, I see it and take offense to it. It’s like you cannot be bothered with keeping a basic dress code for the sake of decency. I cannot make you dress decently, but you cannot make me see it as anything but disrespect and rudeness coupled with extreme self-satisfaction and self-absorption.

Lady you have issues. Perhaps look inside yourself to find happiness. No one cares if you are offended. Just like we don't care what you think of us. At least the grown adults don't. But stew away.

If you don’t care, then why are you responding? Not caring means, just that, not caring. You do care.

Like I said earlier, it’s been deeply amusing to see so many posters who thought that no one noticed their inappropriately bad clothing. We do. We don’t say anything, but we do. And yes, it does speak to us about what type of person you are. These accurate observations have absolutely nothing to do with our personal happiness. It just means we are observant.

And what we are trying to say is that we are not here for your pleasure. We truly do not care what you think about us. I guarantee you that I have more fun when I go out then you do because I am focusing on my food and my companions, not what some random people are wearing.

Keep telling yourself that. Why would a badly dressed woman have more fun than a put together one? Because you’re so fun and carefree you don’t need to try to look nice? Maybe the type of person who openly cares looking nice for herself and other people, feels more to begin with, which is why she cares about looking nice. It’s called having empathy. I think that people with more empathy have more fun.

I’m a clinical social worker. I have empathy in spades, and while you are judging me I am diagnosing you.
Plus, are you the same one who made the remark about big beautiful women and how disgusted you are by them? That is not very empathic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

They care about the people who matter.

I think this response actually illustrates a previous poster’s point about dressing nicely being a sign of respect.

Many people in this thread have said they don’t feel the need to dress nicely to go to the grocery store, or the post office, or Target, etc. And I think that subtly sends the message (intentionally or not) that the people you encounter at those places (most notably the employees) simply don’t matter and are not worthy of any extra consideration.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

I care about PEOPLE not what people WEAR.
Do you not grasp the difference?

[Anonymous]

I honestly had no idea people actually cared and were offended by what others wear on a daily basis just heading out running errands. I don’t see how you feel disrespected by this. It has nothing to do with you. It’s not like you invited them over to your house. Why do you think this affects you at all?

[Anonymous]

Every generation gets scruffier and scruffier.

[Anonymous]

I was on the hill today and lots of sharp key dressed people

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ironically I think it’s due to our society becoming more and more individualistic. As so many posters have said, they DO NOT CARE what other people think of them. And I think that is because they simply DO NOT CARE about other people.

They care about the people who matter.

I think this response actually illustrates a previous poster’s point about dressing nicely being a sign of respect.

Many people in this thread have said they don’t feel the need to dress nicely to go to the grocery store, or the post office, or Target, etc. And I think that subtly sends the message (intentionally or not) that the people you encounter at those places (most notably the employees) simply don’t matter and are not worthy of any extra consideration.

In my daily life, no they don't matter to me. I'll be a normal human being and polite to everyone but they are background noise and don't matter to me one bit in the grand scheme of things.

[Anonymous]

I am a middle aged woman who sent to six stores today to find a pair of jeans that fit correctly. Clothes kinda suck right now so I keep wearing what’s in my closet. Never leggings though. Leggings aren’t pants.