If 45+ and you had a chance to talk to your 38-year-old self, what would you say?

[Anonymous]

Don't even try to have kids, you won't be able to anyhow. Travel now, buy Apple stock, and go ahead and charge your career, the sooner the better.

And, buy a house further away from DC so you will be happier during the pandemic.

[Anonymous]

Start exercising. Have a baby asap and don’t wait. Put more energy into your friendships. Change your marital dynamics and if things aren’t what you want in a few years, then split up. Make a different job choice. Visit family more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on this thread sound like they are in their 80s rather than their 40s. Sheesh.

This entire thread is weird. 38 ain't all that different from 45. I wonder if op made a typo and she's actually 28.

Haha, I agree! I’m 43 and find this all a tad perplexing…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spend time with your parents and grandparents! They won't be around forever.

Savor the time with your young kids--these are precious and carefree years. It gets so much harder when they're teens.

Not arguing but in my case I finally started enjoying my kid’s company when they became a young teen. He matured, developed interests beyond YouTube and videogames, finally I can reason with him and he is more open to doing things. 6-9 were terrible, 10-12 were better, 13 is great so far (knock on wood).

This is the trend I seem to be in with my 10 year old son. Except he was very difficult from age 4 on. Just very intense and willful without the maturity to control his emotions and impulses…it’s amazing how much each year helps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on this thread sound like they are in their 80s rather than their 40s. Sheesh.

This entire thread is weird. 38 ain't all that different from 45. I wonder if op made a typo and she's actually 28.

Haha, I agree! I’m 43 and find this all a tad perplexing…

At 42, I was feeling great and in great shape. It was like a switch flicked and everything changed dramatically at 46. Not many years in number but huge in terms of changes for me.

[Anonymous]

The marriage will end but do not fear. Things are immeasurably better for you and the kids. Amazingly, you can get out of the SAHM rut and be competitive. The kids will do great.
Power on.

[Anonymous]

Advise dad to leave the out of his will the children who alienated him.
Because they will continue to be destructive about all the jointly held assets.
Their willingness to destroy family bonds while you are alive demonstrates their willingness to continue doing so after you are gone.

[Anonymous]

Double wrap when in Bangkok

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Double wrap when in Bangkok

I assume op isn't a ladyboy but all those American men go to Bangkok for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on this thread sound like they are in their 80s rather than their 40s. Sheesh.

This entire thread is weird. 38 ain't all that different from 45. I wonder if op made a typo and she's actually 28.

Haha, I agree! I’m 43 and find this all a tad perplexing…

I love this thread. In fact, I have advice to give myself one month ago. It's really interesting to see the advice that is most shared here like not to worry, enjoy the kids or workout more.

[Anonymous]

Stop it with the "lean in" crap. Your job is your job, not your reason for being. Put in your 40 hours a week and stop being a martyr. Lean in to your kids, because they need you, and they grow up really fast. Get fit and stay fit, stop shorting yourself on sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some people on this thread sound like they are in their 80s rather than their 40s. Sheesh.

This entire thread is weird. 38 ain't all that different from 45. I wonder if op made a typo and she's actually 28.

Haha, I agree! I’m 43 and find this all a tad perplexing…

I love this thread. In fact, I have advice to give myself one month ago. It's really interesting to see the advice that is most shared here like not to worry, enjoy the kids or workout more.

We must be a pretty privileged bunch.

[Anonymous]

All I’ve learned from this thread is to avoid mid 40s white women like the plague

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Spend time with your parents and grandparents! They won't be around forever.

Savor the time with your young kids--these are precious and carefree years. It gets so much harder when they're teens.

Not arguing but in my case I finally started enjoying my kid’s company when they became a young teen. He matured, developed interests beyond YouTube and videogames, finally I can reason with him and he is more open to doing things. 6-9 were terrible, 10-12 were better, 13 is great so far (knock on wood).

This is the trend I seem to be in with my 10 year old son. Except he was very difficult from age 4 on. Just very intense and willful without the maturity to control his emotions and impulses…it’s amazing how much each year helps!

I am the PP you responded to. I noticed my kid becoming difficult at 6, I think it’s when his very low level anxiety set in, and I honestly think elementary school was to blame. We changed schools in 3rd, it helped somewhat, but Middle school was really a much better fit for him. Sorry I digress!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Stop it with the "lean in" crap. Your job is your job, not your reason for being. Put in your 40 hours a week and stop being a martyr. Lean in to your kids, because they need you, and they grow up really fast. Get fit and stay fit, stop shorting yourself on sleep.

This!

Also, stop caring what your friend group thinks. They’re not really friends, so be yourself.