Friend group is blowing up due to rift between teen girls

[Anonymous]

What did the texts actually say, OP? Lots of people judging and we have no idea what the texts actually said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So OP’s cool daughter excludes artsy girl and that’s ok, but OP is bent because artsy girl’s mom want to…exclude OP? Do I have that right?

Ding, ding, ding!!!

[Anonymous]

I’ve got 4 neighborhood friends who survived our girls’ not hanging I’m MS/HS. My DD was later to mature and got ditched in MS. But she found her own PPl in HS. The girls all had their own journeys. The key is to acknowledge your kid isn’t perfect, don’t expect other kids to be perfect (why would they be). We started doing things without the kids in MS- just adults. And we still do now that they are in college. I guess it helps that I truly love the mom of the girl that was most prone to meanness (I think it’s rooted in anxiety and insecurities mostly). Hell I love that girl too.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is a mean girl, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Social exclusion is absolutely considered bullying.

So everyone needs to include everyone else in everything? Or else it’s bullying?

C’mon now.

For real.
Way to create a generation of victims. Good lord.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear that OP is raising a mean girl and is perfectly okay with excluding behaviors. OP just isn’t okay with the behavior being directed at her. Ah, sweet irony. Here’s thing that OP should recognize - this drama wouldn’t have any juice among her friend group if they didn’t think her DD was a mean girl. If her DD (and mother) were perfectly sweet, people would be defending her or trying not to get involved.

I read the OP (+ the follow ups) and I don’t get the mean girl read at all. It’s not clear at all. I bet you were low on the social totem pole as a teen and that’s coloring your read.

This is always the classic response from people who don’t teach their kids kindness. I was on varsity soccer and student class president, but gasp, I never made another girl cry and leave school early. I was nice to everyone. I guess that is why I got voted in. I was also in a sorority and a Rho Chi. No social problems whatsoever and I’m proud to say my daughter isn’t a mean girl.

The PP you are responding to is not going to get it because she is clearly mean herself. "I bet you were low on the social totem pole as a teen." I mean, who says that besides a mean girl?

Being popular doesn't make you mean. OP's kid excluded another girl in a group text in a way that made her leave school early crying. This is a big freaking hint OP's kid was unkind. Either it was unintentionally mean and OP's daughter needs to learn better social graces, or it was intentionally mean and OP is in denial.

I’m the PP you quoted. I was not super cool in HS. I did know enough to not leave school early or go crying to mommy over a social slight. My mother also knew better enough to blow up the 2000’s version of her friend group group chat over social slights.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your kid is a mean girl, OP.

You’re a mean girl for bullying someone online.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear that OP is raising a mean girl and is perfectly okay with excluding behaviors. OP just isn’t okay with the behavior being directed at her. Ah, sweet irony. Here’s thing that OP should recognize - this drama wouldn’t have any juice among her friend group if they didn’t think her DD was a mean girl. If her DD (and mother) were perfectly sweet, people would be defending her or trying not to get involved.

I read the OP (+ the follow ups) and I don’t get the mean girl read at all. It’s not clear at all. I bet you were low on the social totem pole as a teen and that’s coloring your read.

This is always the classic response from people who don’t teach their kids kindness. I was on varsity soccer and student class president, but gasp, I never made another girl cry and leave school early. I was nice to everyone. I guess that is why I got voted in. I was also in a sorority and a Rho Chi. No social problems whatsoever and I’m proud to say my daughter isn’t a mean girl.

The PP you are responding to is not going to get it because she is clearly mean herself. "I bet you were low on the social totem pole as a teen." I mean, who says that besides a mean girl?

Being popular doesn't make you mean. OP's kid excluded another girl in a group text in a way that made her leave school early crying. This is a big freaking hint OP's kid was unkind. Either it was unintentionally mean and OP's daughter needs to learn better social graces, or it was intentionally mean and OP is in denial.

I’m the PP you quoted. I was not super cool in HS. I did know enough to not leave school early or go crying to mommy over a social slight. My mother also knew better enough to blow up the 2000’s version of her friend group group chat over social slights.

This is completely unrelated, but what was the 2000’s version of the friend mom group chat? I’m really curious!

[Anonymous]

One of my biggest regrets in life was meeting up with an old best friend from childhood in NYC. We went to a club and she wasn’t dressed properly and had gained some weight. I felt embarrassed to be with her. I’m sure she felt it. Years later, her brother became my friend on Facebook and I happily tried to reunite and be friends again. She didn’t seem so excited to meet up and we never did. I still miss her and feel awful about being so shallow in my twenties.

I have 3 kids. 1 kid is an introvert and 2 are extreme extroverts. My one very popular kid has a lot of friends and seems to “drop” friends frequently. I tell him that they don’t have to be close friends but he should still be nice to them and say hi when they see one another.

Your daughter doesn’t have to be close friends with her old friends but she doesn’t have to drop her either. If she wanted to hang out, she could have turned her down nicely.

[Anonymous]

So not cool kid gets up the courage to ask to hang out with cool kid who was a friend but who has apparently moved on. Cool kid totally disses her. Painful for not cool kid - probably devastating.

It won’t be a surprise for the moms to talk about it and to take sides. It’s a pretty awful and painful thing to happen to a kid. No one wants their kid to have experienced what not cool kid experienced.

Not saying they can’t move on. But when a friend takes the risk and asks to hang out, it’s really cruel to say no. I’m pretty shocked at OP’s daughter’s insensitivity and OP’s inability to recognize how cruel her daughter was.

[Anonymous]

I can tell the demographic of DCUM based on the comments here… not a good look for the posters in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So not cool kid gets up the courage to ask to hang out with cool kid who was a friend but who has apparently moved on. Cool kid totally disses her. Painful for not cool kid - probably devastating.

It won’t be a surprise for the moms to talk about it and to take sides. It’s a pretty awful and painful thing to happen to a kid. No one wants their kid to have experienced what not cool kid experienced.

Not saying they can’t move on. But when a friend takes the risk and asks to hang out, it’s really cruel to say no. I’m pretty shocked at OP’s daughter’s insensitivity and OP’s inability to recognize how cruel her daughter was.

A teenagers running home to mama (and leaving school early) over the lack of a play date is pathetic.

[Anonymous]

How old are these girls? How can a girl just leave school?

[Anonymous]

What do the other kids (and moms) think about all this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So not cool kid gets up the courage to ask to hang out with cool kid who was a friend but who has apparently moved on. Cool kid totally disses her. Painful for not cool kid - probably devastating.

It won’t be a surprise for the moms to talk about it and to take sides. It’s a pretty awful and painful thing to happen to a kid. No one wants their kid to have experienced what not cool kid experienced.

Not saying they can’t move on. But when a friend takes the risk and asks to hang out, it’s really cruel to say no. I’m pretty shocked at OP’s daughter’s insensitivity and OP’s inability to recognize how cruel her daughter was.

A teenagers running home to mama (and leaving school early) over the lack of a play date is pathetic.

Kind of makes it a worse look for OP’s daughter. She intentionally devastated a fragile friend.