If you get Starbucks with your kids present, do you always buy Starbucks for your kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Starbucks is a treat because it's not a necessity (like groceries, or meals at mealtime). I would get my kid something at Starbucks but I might put parameters on it. Like maybe they can get a small tea but not a XXL milkshake.

It’s a necessity if I’m out and didn’t have time to make coffee this am.

I’m getting coffee. No your not getting anything.

Agree. Me getting black coffee doesn’t entitle my kids to a milk shake and chocolate croissant

Why are people jumping from "I'd get my kids something" to "I'd have to get them anything they want from the menu."?

I don't drink coffee, but if I was stopping for a cup of something that seems to cost about $2.00 to 3.00. I wouldn't think twice about telling my kids they each have a budget of $2.00 or $3.00 and they need to pick from a list of things I think are relatively healthy. So, a cake pop or a cookie to eat with water or a tall steamed milk with a little vanilla (that was my kids' go to for a long time) or chocolate syrup, or a tall refresher made with extra water.

The idea that if you say "yes you can have something" means you have to let them have whatever size of whatever thing they want is a little weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would never go to an establishment and buy something for myself and not allow my kids to get something, too. It works for us and if your way works for you, that's cool.

+1

We had a nanny who would do this regularly. Once we found out about it, we fired her on the spot - and it wasn't even Starbucks.

I think it is selfish (Starbucks or not) OP. Since you asked.

Your poor nanny. “Fired her on the spot” for not buying your child and unnecessary treat every time she tries to make her day infinitesimally better by getting herself something. I’m guessing you also taught your child that respecting their nanny is optional.

NP. Regularly purchasing something to eat or drink, and not offering the person with you some is really rude. And yes, it’s rude even if it’s your child. Or the child you nanny for.

If I stop at Starbucks for a drink (or anywhere else), and my kids are with me, I absolutely ask them if they want something. And yes, if I am at the grocery store, and my kids happen to be with me, I ask if they want to pick something out.

For the people saying no, if your spouse or friend was in the car, would you offer them something?

My husband and I both contribute to the household finances, so he is entitled to purchase a drink with our money. My friends pay for their own drinks. I live in NYC, though, so we are never in a drive-through situation. That’s totally foreign to me. Is whoever is driving the car the “host?”

[Anonymous]

The bigger rule here is, I always mobile order and he knows he's always the one running in. He doesn't always want something but regardless, he's nice enough to go in for me. On the mornings I do go to Starbucks (maybe twice a week), he doesn't always ask to get a drink. He doesn't ask for food because he eats breakfast at home before we even leave and if he were really hungry for breakfast number two, he'd hit the student store when I drop him off. Way cheaper than Starbucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So for all the “omg it’s so rude” people, if you need to shop for an item of clothing, and need to bring your kid along, do you automatically purchase them an item of clothing as well?

That's different and you know it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Starbucks is a treat because it's not a necessity (like groceries, or meals at mealtime). I would get my kid something at Starbucks but I might put parameters on it. Like maybe they can get a small tea but not a XXL milkshake.

It’s a necessity if I’m out and didn’t have time to make coffee this am.

I’m getting coffee. No your not getting anything.

So how would like it if your spouse took you to Starbucks and bought " a treat" for himself. Difference is you can buy something but most kids don't have money with them.

Very mean

[Anonymous]

I didn’t read this whole thread… but usually I will get my kids an ice water lol. There are plenty of times I take them to McDonalds or other places when they ask and do not get myself anything. Just because I’m stopping for coffee doesn’t mean they also need some sort of special drink.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read this whole thread… but usually I will get my kids an ice water lol. There are plenty of times I take them to McDonalds or other places when they ask and do not get myself anything. Just because I’m stopping for coffee doesn’t mean they also need some sort of special drink.

Yes, easier to just waste whole Boatloads of plastic cups lids and straws, than teach a child they don’t get everything adults do. Saying no is like a lost art anymore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Starbucks is a treat because it's not a necessity (like groceries, or meals at mealtime). I would get my kid something at Starbucks but I might put parameters on it. Like maybe they can get a small tea but not a XXL milkshake.

It’s a necessity if I’m out and didn’t have time to make coffee this am.

I’m getting coffee. No your not getting anything.

So how would like it if your spouse took you to Starbucks and bought " a treat" for himself. Difference is you can buy something but most kids don't have money with them.

Very mean

seriously? I’m laughing. Would your kids really get bent out of shape over not getting a Starbucks treat? Perhaps they need to become more resilient!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn’t read this whole thread… but usually I will get my kids an ice water lol. There are plenty of times I take them to McDonalds or other places when they ask and do not get myself anything. Just because I’m stopping for coffee doesn’t mean they also need some sort of special drink.

Yes, easier to just waste whole Boatloads of plastic cups lids and straws, than teach a child they don’t get everything adults do. Saying no is like a lost art anymore.

You do know that Starbucks will put your drink in a cup you bring right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. I would never order food or drink for myself without ordering something for my kids. That's horrifyingly rude.

Yea it’s grotesque. Always offer. I just can’t believe not wanting to spend money on your kids. Much much better to maybe go to a less expensive coffee shop and be able to include them if they are hungry or want a shake or a milk or whatever.

This is greedy, selfish and sad.

[Anonymous]

Wait, people really go out with their kids, get food or drink - and don't get their kids something? Is this a troll post?

I can't imagine going to get a treat (ice cream, coffee whatever) and bringing my child to just watch me.

This can NOT be real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have food or drink (whatever it is) and your family or guests are there, you should offer to share. This is why I often save my treats to eat after they are asleep. I would just skip SB if my kids are present but I don’t want to buy for them.

Coffee isn’t a treat. It’s for adults like alcohol. I made it abundant clear since my kids were toddlers: no caffeinated drinks until you’re done growing. That’s how I grew up and I don’t see any problem with it. So no, I’m not buying you any sugary garbage just because I’m getting my coffee.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Starbucks is a treat because it's not a necessity (like groceries, or meals at mealtime). I would get my kid something at Starbucks but I might put parameters on it. Like maybe they can get a small tea but not a XXL milkshake.

It’s a necessity if I’m out and didn’t have time to make coffee this am.

I’m getting coffee. No your not getting anything.

Agree. Me getting black coffee doesn’t entitle my kids to a milk shake and chocolate croissant

Why are people jumping from "I'd get my kids something" to "I'd have to get them anything they want from the menu."?

I don't drink coffee, but if I was stopping for a cup of something that seems to cost about $2.00 to 3.00. I wouldn't think twice about telling my kids they each have a budget of $2.00 or $3.00 and they need to pick from a list of things I think are relatively healthy. So, a cake pop or a cookie to eat with water or a tall steamed milk with a little vanilla (that was my kids' go to for a long time) or chocolate syrup, or a tall refresher made with extra water.

The idea that if you say "yes you can have something" means you have to let them have whatever size of whatever thing they want is a little weird.

If you consider cake pop or cookie something relatively healthy to choose from, you and I have very, very different standards.

[Anonymous]

I only have one kid so I never think about the cost that way. I might nix an unnecessarily large or spends order (if I’m getting a $4 latte, I’m not spending $15 for my kid to get some enormous frappe and a couple pastries), but I’d get something that cost around the same amount.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Starbucks is a treat because it's not a necessity (like groceries, or meals at mealtime). I would get my kid something at Starbucks but I might put parameters on it. Like maybe they can get a small tea but not a XXL milkshake.

It’s a necessity if I’m out and didn’t have time to make coffee this am.

I’m getting coffee. No your not getting anything.

So how would like it if your spouse took you to Starbucks and bought " a treat" for himself. Difference is you can buy something but most kids don't have money with them.

Very mean

seriously? I’m laughing. Would your kids really get bent out of shape over not getting a Starbucks treat? Perhaps they need to become more resilient!!!

Why are you assuming my kids aren't resilient? What does it have with anything? If I stop by Starbucks with my kids I get them something. If I just want to treat myself I don't do it front of them.

It's rude