Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I’m not going to pretend there’s not a vast amount of misogyny baked into ALL aspects of this— paying teachers so little that “appreciation” gifts matter, expecting teachers to be “appreciated” by free breakfast something provided every day in Silicon Valley…expecting mothers to spend time being “appreciation chairs” as an unpaid activity…all of it. All of it.

But, you are making this way too hard on yourself and there is no excuse for that other than poor planning. Let me help you make 2023 the last year this sucks for you:

On prime day or cyber week, gift cards are discounted (I think last year target did $10 off every $50). Purchase $400 worth of $50 gift cards, put them in your top desk drawer.

If you or anyone in your group chat go to Aldi you will find occasionally nice-looking but inexpensive thank you cards. Buy 8. If you must make your life harder also grab a holiday themed card or two.

Every time there is a request for teacher appreciation, Venmo the organizer, have your kid scribble in a card, add a gift card and send the card to school. Do not “scramble”. Do not volunteer for anything extra. Do not stress further. Do not continue to think about this after confirming the card reached the teacher.

Tone deaf, much? Not all of us have $400 to “just” throw around at any one time, let alone to pre-pay a long-term investment for some future date. Wow, $50 each for teacher gift cards? Must be freaking nice. Wow, how organized you are, what a planner you are. Oh, wait. You’re just rich.

I mean... I'm definitely not rich, solidly MC by DCUM standards but I basically do what this PP suggests. It's a priority to me to be able to give to DC's teachers.
I SAH now but was a teacher. Gift cards are best, no need for much of anything else. Of course I had many students who genuinely could not afford gifts of any type but when their parents thanked me for helping them or whatever that was just as awesome as a gift card.
I started out working at a wealthy school and during TAW the PTA did a catered lunch from a very nice restaurant and that was the only time I felt like it was worth the effort they put in...but I'm sure it was $$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I’m not going to pretend there’s not a vast amount of misogyny baked into ALL aspects of this— paying teachers so little that “appreciation” gifts matter, expecting teachers to be “appreciated” by free breakfast something provided every day in Silicon Valley…expecting mothers to spend time being “appreciation chairs” as an unpaid activity…all of it. All of it.

But, you are making this way too hard on yourself and there is no excuse for that other than poor planning. Let me help you make 2023 the last year this sucks for you:

On prime day or cyber week, gift cards are discounted (I think last year target did $10 off every $50). Purchase $400 worth of $50 gift cards, put them in your top desk drawer.

If you or anyone in your group chat go to Aldi you will find occasionally nice-looking but inexpensive thank you cards. Buy 8. If you must make your life harder also grab a holiday themed card or two.

Every time there is a request for teacher appreciation, Venmo the organizer, have your kid scribble in a card, add a gift card and send the card to school. Do not “scramble”. Do not volunteer for anything extra. Do not stress further. Do not continue to think about this after confirming the card reached the teacher.

Tone deaf, much? Not all of us have $400 to “just” throw around at any one time, let alone to pre-pay a long-term investment for some future date. Wow, $50 each for teacher gift cards? Must be freaking nice. Wow, how organized you are, what a planner you are. Oh, wait. You’re just rich.

I mean... I'm definitely not rich, solidly MC by DCUM standards but I basically do what this PP suggests. It's a priority to me to be able to give to DC's teachers.
I SAH now but was a teacher. Gift cards are best, no need for much of anything else. Of course I had many students who genuinely could not afford gifts of any type but when their parents thanked me for helping them or whatever that was just as awesome as a gift card.
I started out working at a wealthy school and during TAW the PTA did a catered lunch from a very nice restaurant and that was the only time I felt like it was worth the effort they put in...but I'm sure it was $$.

NP. Ohhhhh, so people who can afford to pre-pay $400 at a time for teacher gift cards are able to do so because it’s a “priority.” Got it. Sorry, poors, you’re going to have to make $400 for gift cards a *priority.* It has to be important to you. Go put the bread, green beans, cereal and milk back, because Good People Prioritize Gift Cards. It’s a matter of priorities, you see. Not means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I’m not going to pretend there’s not a vast amount of misogyny baked into ALL aspects of this— paying teachers so little that “appreciation” gifts matter, expecting teachers to be “appreciated” by free breakfast something provided every day in Silicon Valley…expecting mothers to spend time being “appreciation chairs” as an unpaid activity…all of it. All of it.

But, you are making this way too hard on yourself and there is no excuse for that other than poor planning. Let me help you make 2023 the last year this sucks for you:

On prime day or cyber week, gift cards are discounted (I think last year target did $10 off every $50). Purchase $400 worth of $50 gift cards, put them in your top desk drawer.

If you or anyone in your group chat go to Aldi you will find occasionally nice-looking but inexpensive thank you cards. Buy 8. If you must make your life harder also grab a holiday themed card or two.

Every time there is a request for teacher appreciation, Venmo the organizer, have your kid scribble in a card, add a gift card and send the card to school. Do not “scramble”. Do not volunteer for anything extra. Do not stress further. Do not continue to think about this after confirming the card reached the teacher.

Tone deaf, much? Not all of us have $400 to “just” throw around at any one time, let alone to pre-pay a long-term investment for some future date. Wow, $50 each for teacher gift cards? Must be freaking nice. Wow, how organized you are, what a planner you are. Oh, wait. You’re just rich.

I mean... I'm definitely not rich, solidly MC by DCUM standards but I basically do what this PP suggests. It's a priority to me to be able to give to DC's teachers.
I SAH now but was a teacher. Gift cards are best, no need for much of anything else. Of course I had many students who genuinely could not afford gifts of any type but when their parents thanked me for helping them or whatever that was just as awesome as a gift card.
I started out working at a wealthy school and during TAW the PTA did a catered lunch from a very nice restaurant and that was the only time I felt like it was worth the effort they put in...but I'm sure it was $$.

NP. Ohhhhh, so people who can afford to pre-pay $400 at a time for teacher gift cards are able to do so because it’s a “priority.” Got it. Sorry, poors, you’re going to have to make $400 for gift cards a *priority.* It has to be important to you. Go put the bread, green beans, cereal and milk back, because Good People Prioritize Gift Cards. It’s a matter of priorities, you see. Not means.

Look, if you want to start a thread about teacher appreciation week and other commitments being expensive, you will get helpful responses to that problem. This thread was about someone being “run ragged” but not about her budgeting woes, so maybe stay on topic.

[Anonymous]

Giant gift card, done. And likely valued.

[Anonymous]

It is optional... opt out.

[Anonymous]

Every. Year.

Every year, someone starts this thread.

Every year, Teacher Appreciation Week is just before Mother’s Day.

Every. Year.

So plan for it. Buy whatever in February, write a note and stick it in your tickler file. Send it in for Teacher Appreciation Week and then do whatever else you feel like doing that week. No one is forcing you.

So much whining.

[Anonymous]

Why are all you moms doing all the work? Where are the kids’ dads?

You are doing this wrong.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I’m not going to pretend there’s not a vast amount of misogyny baked into ALL aspects of this— paying teachers so little that “appreciation” gifts matter, expecting teachers to be “appreciated” by free breakfast something provided every day in Silicon Valley…expecting mothers to spend time being “appreciation chairs” as an unpaid activity…all of it. All of it.

But, you are making this way too hard on yourself and there is no excuse for that other than poor planning. Let me help you make 2023 the last year this sucks for you:

On prime day or cyber week, gift cards are discounted (I think last year target did $10 off every $50). Purchase $400 worth of $50 gift cards, put them in your top desk drawer.

If you or anyone in your group chat go to Aldi you will find occasionally nice-looking but inexpensive thank you cards. Buy 8. If you must make your life harder also grab a holiday themed card or two.

Every time there is a request for teacher appreciation, Venmo the organizer, have your kid scribble in a card, add a gift card and send the card to school. Do not “scramble”. Do not volunteer for anything extra. Do not stress further. Do not continue to think about this after confirming the card reached the teacher.

Tone deaf, much? Not all of us have $400 to “just” throw around at any one time, let alone to pre-pay a long-term investment for some future date. Wow, $50 each for teacher gift cards? Must be freaking nice. Wow, how organized you are, what a planner you are. Oh, wait. You’re just rich.

I mean... I'm definitely not rich, solidly MC by DCUM standards but I basically do what this PP suggests. It's a priority to me to be able to give to DC's teachers.
I SAH now but was a teacher. Gift cards are best, no need for much of anything else. Of course I had many students who genuinely could not afford gifts of any type but when their parents thanked me for helping them or whatever that was just as awesome as a gift card.
I started out working at a wealthy school and during TAW the PTA did a catered lunch from a very nice restaurant and that was the only time I felt like it was worth the effort they put in...but I'm sure it was $$.

NP. Ohhhhh, so people who can afford to pre-pay $400 at a time for teacher gift cards are able to do so because it’s a “priority.” Got it. Sorry, poors, you’re going to have to make $400 for gift cards a *priority.* It has to be important to you. Go put the bread, green beans, cereal and milk back, because Good People Prioritize Gift Cards. It’s a matter of priorities, you see. Not means.

Yeah this is crazy to me. We don't make a lot for DCUM and $50 is more than our budget for Christmas or birthday gifts for any adults, including each other (we usually try to keep it $20-40 max). $400 is close to what we'd spend at Christmas for the entire extended family. Teachers are important but not a higher priority than everyone else in my life.

[Anonymous]

No one said you have to participate in any of it, OP. You are doing this to yourself.

Just have your kid write the teacher a nice thank-you note at the end of the year where your kid mentions one or two things they liked/learned in class this year. Throw in a gift card in any amount if you feel so inclined, and boom done. You don't have to do anything more than that.

[Anonymous]

I admittedly didn’t read all 8 pages here, but I’m confused about the relationship between teacher appreciation week and Mother’s Day. My husband sat with my kid to make cards. He venmoed the room mom money for the class gift. And I don’t do a thing for Mother’s Day, he does. We’re only martyrs if we want to be.

[Anonymous]

What do you have to do for Mother’s Day? Doesnt your husband/ family plan something for Sunday and you get gifts? I don’t understand what the big deal is. Send a gift card for the teacher if you want, or don’t. The PTA gives us a lunch.

I just don’t understand how it conflicts with Mother’s Day when you are celebrated

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why are all you moms doing all the work? Where are the kids’ dads?

You are doing this wrong.

You mean administration. The moms didn’t hire the teachers and they aren’t aren’t personal employees. Administration should be planning and executing teacher appreciation. If they don’t, oh well. Join the rest of us that get no “appreciation week” of gift cards and free food

[Anonymous]

HS teacher here. Honestly, the best thing I could ask for is a written note or email from a student saying something nice. I've even had a couple drawings or cute doodles. I keep them all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are all you moms doing all the work? Where are the kids’ dads?

You are doing this wrong.

You mean administration. The moms didn’t hire the teachers and they aren’t aren’t personal employees. Administration should be planning and executing teacher appreciation. If they don’t, oh well. Join the rest of us that get no “appreciation week” of gift cards and free food

You missed it.

If a family wants to show appreciation for a teacher, a dad can do it just as well as a mom.

We will be showing appreciation because we view our kids’ teachers as important members of the team.

You don’t have to do anything at all and it seems like that would suit you best.

You might want to work on that bitterness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are all you moms doing all the work? Where are the kids’ dads?

You are doing this wrong.

You mean administration. The moms didn’t hire the teachers and they aren’t aren’t personal employees. Administration should be planning and executing teacher appreciation. If they don’t, oh well. Join the rest of us that get no “appreciation week” of gift cards and free food

You missed it.

If a family wants to show appreciation for a teacher, a dad can do it just as well as a mom.

We will be showing appreciation because we view our kids’ teachers as important members of the team.

You don’t have to do anything at all and it seems like that would suit you best.

You might want to work on that bitterness.

Dads won’t/don’t do it because they don’t care. Really. They just don’t and at their jobs this doesn’t exist. It wouldn’t even occur to them to buy the teacher a week of stuff/gift cards in the name of teacher approximation. Moms do it out of social obligation and pressure. But moms don’t have to do it either. As several teachers have pointed out; nothing is necessary. Better yet, send well behaved kids and a thank you note outlining how they have made a different. This week of stuff is bananas