Running moms ragged with Teacher Appreciation right before Mother’s Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is about to graduate high school and from the time he entered Kindergarten, I saw what a ridiculous event that was. I spent years on the PTA board of his elementary school, and noticed so many teachers who didn't really want food (they were on diets, or were wary of home-made), and found awkward displays of gratitude, well... awkward. They'd rather have well-behaved students, receive short emails of thanks from a couple of parents, and perhaps a little gift card if you're so inclined. No food or gifts or big shows.

You've been entirely had. Stop doing whatever it is you're doing.

x100000

Those kids who been acting up all freaking year? Control their arses at HOME!

Here's the thing: we know your company think you so "important" as to issue you (a minority female) a patent - but the rest of the moms are thinking WTF up with THAT kid???

Shouldn't your kids come FIRST?? Before your company who only needs you to check the BOX??

Yup, the BOX.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Week! Our school is doing Teacher Appreciation for a whole month!!! The emails never end! Smoothies, coffees, lunches, flowers, desserts, snacks, sign up, cards, etc. Sign up Genius blah blah blah

Oh, that’s just pathetic. Next thing you know they’ll have those swivel card readers at parent-teacher conferences to prompt for a tip.

[Anonymous]

I love my teacher and hate most moms. Too sarcastic bit****

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Teacher here.

I've loved our school's take on the week; Each grade level's room parents took on a day (Monday 4&5, Tue 3rd&2nd, Wed 1st Grade, Thurs Kin, Fri PK). There is a table in the teacher's lounge that has been grab and go for treats/appreciation gifts. This also coincided with grade level classroom presentations, so many parents were already in the building.

No pressure for parents to participate. Our PTA used it as a community building activity and it was well planned out, with donations from a few local businesses. They provided amazing continental breakfasts, had coffee and snacks delivered, goodie bags, and cards from their children each day. Morale has definitely been boosted as this is a tough time of year for most of us.

The great thing is that para-professionals, service providers, and other support staff (behavior techs etc) that also work with children were able to enjoy the treats gifts.

Our teaching staff is diverse in gender and age; we have teachers who are also mothers of small children, fathers, grandparents, beloved aunts/uncles, etc. I think caring about one another is a good thing.

We also have family appreciation day at our school (parent appreciation day). The term family is intentional as many of our students have non-traditional care structures. Children make cards for their family and the school provides a few school branded items for families to keep. This also coincides with a schoolwide assembly and is the kickoff for Family Fun Day. Some schools have "Grandparents Day" which is similar in concept.

Calling businesses to solicit donations is the worst. Your whole week sounds like a lot of work and I’m sure many of the parents felt pressured into doing it. Glad you enjoyed it, but I think it is poor taste for you to minimize the effort that went into it.

Sounds like you're bitter. Several parents at our school own businesses and were happy to contribute, actually giving more than what was requested.

So many complaints about a good deed... sheesh. Get over yourselves!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I’m not going to pretend there’s not a vast amount of misogyny baked into ALL aspects of this— paying teachers so little that “appreciation” gifts matter, expecting teachers to be “appreciated” by free breakfast something provided every day in Silicon Valley…expecting mothers to spend time being “appreciation chairs” as an unpaid activity…all of it. All of it.

But, you are making this way too hard on yourself and there is no excuse for that other than poor planning. Let me help you make 2023 the last year this sucks for you:

On prime day or cyber week, gift cards are discounted (I think last year target did $10 off every $50). Purchase $400 worth of $50 gift cards, put them in your top desk drawer.

If you or anyone in your group chat go to Aldi you will find occasionally nice-looking but inexpensive thank you cards. Buy 8. If you must make your life harder also grab a holiday themed card or two.

Every time there is a request for teacher appreciation, Venmo the organizer, have your kid scribble in a card, add a gift card and send the card to school. Do not “scramble”. Do not volunteer for anything extra. Do not stress further. Do not continue to think about this after confirming the card reached the teacher.

Tone deaf, much? Not all of us have $400 to “just” throw around at any one time, let alone to pre-pay a long-term investment for some future date. Wow, $50 each for teacher gift cards? Must be freaking nice. Wow, how organized you are, what a planner you are. Oh, wait. You’re just rich.

I mean... I'm definitely not rich, solidly MC by DCUM standards but I basically do what this PP suggests. It's a priority to me to be able to give to DC's teachers.
I SAH now but was a teacher. Gift cards are best, no need for much of anything else. Of course I had many students who genuinely could not afford gifts of any type but when their parents thanked me for helping them or whatever that was just as awesome as a gift card.
I started out working at a wealthy school and during TAW the PTA did a catered lunch from a very nice restaurant and that was the only time I felt like it was worth the effort they put in...but I'm sure it was $$.

NP. Ohhhhh, so people who can afford to pre-pay $400 at a time for teacher gift cards are able to do so because it’s a “priority.” Got it. Sorry, poors, you’re going to have to make $400 for gift cards a *priority.* It has to be important to you. Go put the bread, green beans, cereal and milk back, because Good People Prioritize Gift Cards. It’s a matter of priorities, you see. Not means.

Yeah this is crazy to me. We don't make a lot for DCUM and $50 is more than our budget for Christmas or birthday gifts for any adults, including each other (we usually try to keep it $20-40 max). $400 is close to what we'd spend at Christmas for the entire extended family. Teachers are important but not a higher priority than everyone else in my life.

JFC. Do you people have no imagination or problem solving ability? If you can’t buy $50, buy $20. If you can’t buy $20, buy $10. If you can’t afford $10, have your kid make a free card at home. The point is that all of these things can be planned in ADVANCE instead of throwing tantrums when the dates show up just as they do every year.

If the room parent asks for specific things every day of a week, it is not a requirement. If it’s sooooo harrrrd and you’re soooo buuuuusy, just don’t do it. But we all know you won’t, because then you wouldn’t get attention for whining about your mEnTal LoAd.

NP and yes, your privilege is showing, too. I can afford $10 gift cards, but not until the paycheck immediately before the event. Stop acting like some of us are not “planning ahead” or “prioritizing” when we CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY AHEAD.

Since you can’t read, here, let me help you.

“If you can’t afford $10, have your kid make a free card at home.”

You’re welcome, No more need for you to engage in any further melodrama, attention-seeking, whining or ALL CAPS.

Done.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why are all you moms doing all the work? Where are the kids’ dads?

You are doing this wrong.

You mean administration. The moms didn’t hire the teachers and they aren’t aren’t personal employees. Administration should be planning and executing teacher appreciation. If they don’t, oh well. Join the rest of us that get no “appreciation week” of gift cards and free food

Good news! They’re hiring! Enjoy your pay cut, but hey, that’s OK, because it’ll be made up for by all those sweet, sweet gift cards and free food.

Real life and many people across all professions face. This is not unique to teachers and and does not justify expecting parents to shower gift cards their way. By all means, if you feel moved, do so. But do not shame others that don’t/can’t participate for whatever reason. It is 100% fine to not gift teachers at all.

Which has already been said multiple times in this thread. Sorry you’re so dim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I’m not going to pretend there’s not a vast amount of misogyny baked into ALL aspects of this— paying teachers so little that “appreciation” gifts matter, expecting teachers to be “appreciated” by free breakfast something provided every day in Silicon Valley…expecting mothers to spend time being “appreciation chairs” as an unpaid activity…all of it. All of it.

But, you are making this way too hard on yourself and there is no excuse for that other than poor planning. Let me help you make 2023 the last year this sucks for you:

On prime day or cyber week, gift cards are discounted (I think last year target did $10 off every $50). Purchase $400 worth of $50 gift cards, put them in your top desk drawer.

If you or anyone in your group chat go to Aldi you will find occasionally nice-looking but inexpensive thank you cards. Buy 8. If you must make your life harder also grab a holiday themed card or two.

Every time there is a request for teacher appreciation, Venmo the organizer, have your kid scribble in a card, add a gift card and send the card to school. Do not “scramble”. Do not volunteer for anything extra. Do not stress further. Do not continue to think about this after confirming the card reached the teacher.

Tone deaf, much? Not all of us have $400 to “just” throw around at any one time, let alone to pre-pay a long-term investment for some future date. Wow, $50 each for teacher gift cards? Must be freaking nice. Wow, how organized you are, what a planner you are. Oh, wait. You’re just rich.

I mean... I'm definitely not rich, solidly MC by DCUM standards but I basically do what this PP suggests. It's a priority to me to be able to give to DC's teachers.
I SAH now but was a teacher. Gift cards are best, no need for much of anything else. Of course I had many students who genuinely could not afford gifts of any type but when their parents thanked me for helping them or whatever that was just as awesome as a gift card.
I started out working at a wealthy school and during TAW the PTA did a catered lunch from a very nice restaurant and that was the only time I felt like it was worth the effort they put in...but I'm sure it was $$.

NP. Ohhhhh, so people who can afford to pre-pay $400 at a time for teacher gift cards are able to do so because it’s a “priority.” Got it. Sorry, poors, you’re going to have to make $400 for gift cards a *priority.* It has to be important to you. Go put the bread, green beans, cereal and milk back, because Good People Prioritize Gift Cards. It’s a matter of priorities, you see. Not means.

Yeah this is crazy to me. We don't make a lot for DCUM and $50 is more than our budget for Christmas or birthday gifts for any adults, including each other (we usually try to keep it $20-40 max). $400 is close to what we'd spend at Christmas for the entire extended family. Teachers are important but not a higher priority than everyone else in my life.

JFC. Do you people have no imagination or problem solving ability? If you can’t buy $50, buy $20. If you can’t buy $20, buy $10. If you can’t afford $10, have your kid make a free card at home. The point is that all of these things can be planned in ADVANCE instead of throwing tantrums when the dates show up just as they do every year.

If the room parent asks for specific things every day of a week, it is not a requirement. If it’s sooooo harrrrd and you’re soooo buuuuusy, just don’t do it. But we all know you won’t, because then you wouldn’t get attention for whining about your mEnTal LoAd.

NP and yes, your privilege is showing, too. I can afford $10 gift cards, but not until the paycheck immediately before the event. Stop acting like some of us are not “planning ahead” or “prioritizing” when we CANNOT AFFORD TO BUY AHEAD.

Since you can’t read, here, let me help you.

“If you can’t afford $10, have your kid make a free card at home.”

You’re welcome, No more need for you to engage in any further melodrama, attention-seeking, whining or ALL CAPS.

Done.

Why do we need to give teachers cards for doing their jobs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Look I’m not going to pretend there’s not a vast amount of misogyny baked into ALL aspects of this— paying teachers so little that “appreciation” gifts matter, expecting teachers to be “appreciated” by free breakfast something provided every day in Silicon Valley…expecting mothers to spend time being “appreciation chairs” as an unpaid activity…all of it. All of it.

But, you are making this way too hard on yourself and there is no excuse for that other than poor planning. Let me help you make 2023 the last year this sucks for you:

On prime day or cyber week, gift cards are discounted (I think last year target did $10 off every $50). Purchase $400 worth of $50 gift cards, put them in your top desk drawer.

If you or anyone in your group chat go to Aldi you will find occasionally nice-looking but inexpensive thank you cards. Buy 8. If you must make your life harder also grab a holiday themed card or two.

Every time there is a request for teacher appreciation, Venmo the organizer, have your kid scribble in a card, add a gift card and send the card to school. Do not “scramble”. Do not volunteer for anything extra. Do not stress further. Do not continue to think about this after confirming the card reached the teacher.

Tone deaf, much? Not all of us have $400 to “just” throw around at any one time, let alone to pre-pay a long-term investment for some future date. Wow, $50 each for teacher gift cards? Must be freaking nice. Wow, how organized you are, what a planner you are. Oh, wait. You’re just rich.

I mean... I'm definitely not rich, solidly MC by DCUM standards but I basically do what this PP suggests. It's a priority to me to be able to give to DC's teachers.
I SAH now but was a teacher. Gift cards are best, no need for much of anything else. Of course I had many students who genuinely could not afford gifts of any type but when their parents thanked me for helping them or whatever that was just as awesome as a gift card.
I started out working at a wealthy school and during TAW the PTA did a catered lunch from a very nice restaurant and that was the only time I felt like it was worth the effort they put in...but I'm sure it was $$.

NP. Ohhhhh, so people who can afford to pre-pay $400 at a time for teacher gift cards are able to do so because it’s a “priority.” Got it. Sorry, poors, you’re going to have to make $400 for gift cards a *priority.* It has to be important to you. Go put the bread, green beans, cereal and milk back, because Good People Prioritize Gift Cards. It’s a matter of priorities, you see. Not means.

Yeah this is crazy to me. We don't make a lot for DCUM and $50 is more than our budget for Christmas or birthday gifts for any adults, including each other (we usually try to keep it $20-40 max). $400 is close to what we'd spend at Christmas for the entire extended family. Teachers are important but not a higher priority than everyone else in my life.

JFC. Do you people have no imagination or problem solving ability? If you can’t buy $50, buy $20. If you can’t buy $20, buy $10. If you can’t afford $10, have your kid make a free card at home. The point is that all of these things can be planned in ADVANCE instead of throwing tantrums when the dates show up just as they do every year.

If the room parent asks for specific things every day of a week, it is not a requirement. If it’s sooooo harrrrd and you’re soooo buuuuusy, just don’t do it. But we all know you won’t, because then you wouldn’t get attention for whining about your mEnTal LoAd.

How far in advance does your PTA send out the week's calendar? Because mine just sent it out two weeks ago. Sure, I could just buy a gift card. But then my kid wouldn't "participate" in all the theme days. And the theme days are different each year and my kid likes to participate, so I do all this stuff for him, not the teachers. This year we have to design a page around a word that we think of when we think of a teacher. All those pages will be collected into a binder to give the teacher. That's Wednesday. A flower from our garden was today. (We don't have a garden, so a bush bud had to do). Tomorrow is a favorite treat from the teachers "favorite things" list. Thursday is something from the amazon wish list. And Friday is the homemade card.
It's like this every year, only the things are DIFFERENT. (Well, Thursday and Friday are always the same)
Someone in our PTA has lost their marbles.

So
Many
Excuses

For the 900th time, your kid DOES NOT HAVE TO “participate in all the theme days” if it will send you reeling to your fainting couch. Buy your gift card in advance — or don’t. Have your kid make a card — or don’t.

Just frigging stop whining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.

The irony is, you don’t have to participate in this thread if other people’s dissatisfaction bothers you so very much. Live by your same rules! It took you longer to type out your reasoning why OP should see the world the way you do than it would have taken you to, you know, scroll on by.

It’s a discussion board. Not a “beg for virtual azzpats only from people who agree with you” board.

not PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I literally just ordered gift cards from Amazon and they will be delivered same day. I’m going to have my kids make cards after school today. I added a few items that I signed up for on the sign up genius.

It took longer to type this on dcum.

Some people complain for the sake of complaining. OP could have clicked and ordered in the time she was complaining on dcum. You don’t have to do everything.

If this gift card or napkins or orange juice is a hardship for your family, just don’t participate.

The irony is, you don’t have to participate in this thread if other people’s dissatisfaction bothers you so very much. Live by your same rules! It took you longer to type out your reasoning why OP should see the world the way you do than it would have taken you to, you know, scroll on by.

DP. I like that you’re honest about needing to put on that hairshirt.

I like your dedication to hypocrisy, the way you can excuse the 100 things you complain about every day, and justify the minutiae that gets under your skin, just because this one thing that bothers someone else isn’t something that bothers you.

You need to get over yourself, or have a loved one get you some counseling, for real.

I’m sure you’re off to complain about tipping hotel employees or those swivel-tips at the bagel shop, or how some women think leggings are pants, or that you don’t like the new “Bridgerton” spin-off, or one of the 100 things you think it is justified to complain about. Byeeeeee!

Oh, you’re a child. That explains everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as an exhausted teacher this Mondat morning I appreciated the laughs this thread provided.

you must be the reason our spelling program is non-existent

Grammer nazi

I can’t help myself now…

Your text should read:
“Grammar Nazi.”

That was the joke. Whoosh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand all these people getting upset at feeding some teachers and sending in some gift cards. Multiple people have said that you don’t have to do anything and certainly not everything. No one will know you didn’t send in fruit or bagels for the staff breakfast. Have your kids write a note or not.

One year, I forgot and my kid brought in a gift card and hand written note the following Monday. One year, I sent in happy birthday gift cards because I didn’t have my act together. This year, I thought staff appreciation was last week and had extra time and participating in all.

Because it has moved from genuinely showing appreciation to expected tasks made up by women for other women to do. The degree of this expectation and obligation various from school to school, but at most schools, it is there. It is no longer a show of gratitude, but another several things (mostly) women feel socially obligated to do.

It feels like a ‘forced appreciation.’

Look up the word “forced” in the dictionary, then come back here to apologize. Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:as an exhausted teacher this Mondat morning I appreciated the laughs this thread provided.

you must be the reason our spelling program is non-existent

Grammer nazi

I can’t help myself now…

Your text should read:
“Grammar Nazi.”

Wow. There are two of you. DCUM isn’t bringing us its best people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't understand why the timing sucks.

Mother's Day is a day and you don't have to do anything for it (Except what you plan for your own moms). I don't think one has anything to do with the other.

Maybe teacher appreciation is held now because teachers are definitely a little burned out themselves and you are showing appreciation for almost the entire year's work.

If you already feel like you've done enough, that's another story but I don't understand why the timing is a problem.

Because it's one more hurdle to clear before mom's finally get one damn day of appreciation.

Oh, PLEASE. Come down off the cross. Someone needs the wood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I guess I don't understand why the timing sucks.

Mother's Day is a day and you don't have to do anything for it (Except what you plan for your own moms). I don't think one has anything to do with the other.

Maybe teacher appreciation is held now because teachers are definitely a little burned out themselves and you are showing appreciation for almost the entire year's work.

If you already feel like you've done enough, that's another story but I don't understand why the timing is a problem.

Not myself, but I do know many women that are stuck planning Mother’s Day brunches and activists for their own immediate family, their mom, DH’s mom and whatever siblings will also be joining in.

It really isn’t that hard to make a brunch reservation.

I mean, be fair. She might sprain a finger dialing a phone or clicking on a mouse or a screen.