Big 3 Nightmare

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, the term big 3 is not helpful. These private schools are all very different and lumping them together does not produce a useful data point.

My take is that seniors at my kid’s school are doing just fine. It is definitely true that it is no longer the 1950s where a third of the class got into Harvard, Yale and Princeton. The landscape is vastly more competitive for everyone, including private schools. But I would hold my head high to be at a number of the schools where graduates plan to matriculate.

Kids (beyond athletes) have been accepted to Chicago (in droves), UVA, Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth, Hopkins, UNC, Notre Dame, Davidson, Williams, BC, and Tulane off the top of my head. At other privates, the list feels pretty similar for the kids I know. Also, UMD (if you are in-state) was not as difficult an admit as a PP claimed.

My kid loved high school and is excited for college. That is enough for me to consider tuition a worthwhile investment for our family.

Is this STA?
It sounds like it by the kids I know. The school is doing well.

I am poster and yes, kid is at STA. But has friends at Visi, SR, Holton, HC, Prep and Landon and the college admissions seem to be very comparable. I actually don’t know much about NCS, Maret, GDS or Sidwell.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand that not many on this forum have empathy for Big 3 kids. That's fine and even understandable, but the nastiness is misplaced and not very nice. These are kids after all.

Plenty of these kids are on full financial aid or have parents working in gov't who sacrifice a LOT to send their kids to private school. Make no mistake, the real "rich kids" at these schools are fine. Their parents still make a donation, use their status/fame, or have a powerful pal make a call to the Ivy admissions office. Everyone sees it. Those aren't the kids who've gotten screwed once again this year.

Look, it's not that there is a lack of empathy...it's just that we (at least I) know a bunch of families that claimed for years they picked their Big3 school for all these various reasons absolutely having nothing do with college...but actually it really was all about college and many are none too happy because they fall squarely into your demographic. These families all live in the neighborhood and opted to sacrifice for the Big3 private school, while the rest of us were fine with public or a much cheaper Catholic option (even without being Catholic).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:First, the term big 3 is not helpful. These private schools are all very different and lumping them together does not produce a useful data point.

My take is that seniors at my kid’s school are doing just fine. It is definitely true that it is no longer the 1950s where a third of the class got into Harvard, Yale and Princeton. The landscape is vastly more competitive for everyone, including private schools. But I would hold my head high to be at a number of the schools where graduates plan to matriculate.

Kids (beyond athletes) have been accepted to Chicago (in droves), UVA, Harvard, Yale, Dartmouth, Hopkins, UNC, Notre Dame, Davidson, Williams, BC, and Tulane off the top of my head. At other privates, the list feels pretty similar for the kids I know. Also, UMD (if you are in-state) was not as difficult an admit as a PP claimed.

My kid loved high school and is excited for college. That is enough for me to consider tuition a worthwhile investment for our family.

Is this STA?
It sounds like it by the kids I know. The school is doing well.

And most of these kids are hooked

If it is the kids I am thinking of, parents went to different schools than they will.

Legacy not only hook

[Anonymous]

Big 3 parent here. Not STA. Is it fair to say that the results are notable worse than 2022? Then the narrative seemed to be that things weee rough in December and then seemed to work out ok in RD. Is that no longer the case?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you are correct. I'm also the parent of a senior and the Big 3 results in terms of top 20 schools are worse this year than in the past for unhooked Big 3 kids.

Love them or hate them, the top private school kids are working their butts off and not seeing a correlation with high acceptance rates at competitive schools.

This is a national trend with test optional and the added impact of elite privates eliminating AP's makes it harder to compete.

So it is a bummer that yes, my kid works way harder than their sibling in public; yes, their big 3 private is more rigorous than public; yes, our kid in public may actually fare better in the admissions game. I think the money we spent on private was worth it in that it was the right fit for our kid, and I know they will be well-prepared for college.
But they sure as heck are not going to an Ivy, despite what, on paper, seem to be the right qualifications.

Why do you pay for one kid to go to a super expensive private and the other stay in public? That seems more unfair than losing an admissions edge. And what's the quality of the public school? And your kids courseload there?
Or maybe you're just making things up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are correct. I'm also the parent of a senior and the Big 3 results in terms of top 20 schools are worse this year than in the past for unhooked Big 3 kids.

Love them or hate them, the top private school kids are working their butts off and not seeing a correlation with high acceptance rates at competitive schools.

This is a national trend with test optional and the added impact of elite privates eliminating AP's makes it harder to compete.

So it is a bummer that yes, my kid works way harder than their sibling in public; yes, their big 3 private is more rigorous than public; yes, our kid in public may actually fare better in the admissions game. I think the money we spent on private was worth it in that it was the right fit for our kid, and I know they will be well-prepared for college.
But they sure as heck are not going to an Ivy, despite what, on paper, seem to be the right qualifications.

Why do you pay for one kid to go to a super expensive private and the other stay in public? That seems more unfair than losing an admissions edge. And what's the quality of the public school? And your kids courseload there?
Or maybe you're just making things up.

I think the parent with one at a big3, one at a public is a common character on this board. Said parent usually says that both schools are best for their individual children but always takes shots at one or the other depending on the point they are making. Personally I don't think there is a large population of parents who pay forty thousand a year for one kid to go to a school that the parent loves while sending their other child to a school that they believe is over crowed, not providing an education, and has behavior problems.

[Anonymous]

Are people hitting the panic button a little too early? I still don't know enough solid info to say it has been anything close to a "nightmare."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that not many on this forum have empathy for Big 3 kids. That's fine and even understandable, but the nastiness is misplaced and not very nice. These are kids after all.

Plenty of these kids are on full financial aid or have parents working in gov't who sacrifice a LOT to send their kids to private school. Make no mistake, the real "rich kids" at these schools are fine. Their parents still make a donation, use their status/fame, or have a powerful pal make a call to the Ivy admissions office. Everyone sees it. Those aren't the kids who've gotten screwed once again this year.

Look, it's not that there is a lack of empathy...it's just that we (at least I) know a bunch of families that claimed for years they picked their Big3 school for all these various reasons absolutely having nothing do with college...but actually it really was all about college and many are none too happy because they fall squarely into your demographic. These families all live in the neighborhood and opted to sacrifice for the Big3 private school, while the rest of us were fine with public or a much cheaper Catholic option (even without being Catholic).

It’s absurd that you think that you know better that people posting their own reality. So freaking arrogant.

[Anonymous]

The new equity focused regimes at top schools driving this insanity is having a positive effect on schools in the next tier. They are getting better students (Asian kids, mostly.) In the long run, this will end up democratizing higher ed and lower the relative advantages of the top names. We are seeing this at our firm; Harvard ain’t what it used to be (worse on average), and neither is William and Mary (better on average). Troll away on this post but it’s reality.

[Anonymous]

I don't get drama. Every school is going ongoing to take so many students per school. Most privates have average to bright kids, now struggling kids so they are all applying to the same schools. Same with the the more expensive housing/public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I understand that not many on this forum have empathy for Big 3 kids. That's fine and even understandable, but the nastiness is misplaced and not very nice. These are kids after all.

Plenty of these kids are on full financial aid or have parents working in gov't who sacrifice a LOT to send their kids to private school. Make no mistake, the real "rich kids" at these schools are fine. Their parents still make a donation, use their status/fame, or have a powerful pal make a call to the Ivy admissions office. Everyone sees it. Those aren't the kids who've gotten screwed once again this year.

Look, it's not that there is a lack of empathy...it's just that we (at least I) know a bunch of families that claimed for years they picked their Big3 school for all these various reasons absolutely having nothing do with college...but actually it really was all about college and many are none too happy because they fall squarely into your demographic. These families all live in the neighborhood and opted to sacrifice for the Big3 private school, while the rest of us were fine with public or a much cheaper Catholic option (even without being Catholic).

Public school parents complain about the same issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are correct. I'm also the parent of a senior and the Big 3 results in terms of top 20 schools are worse this year than in the past for unhooked Big 3 kids.

Love them or hate them, the top private school kids are working their butts off and not seeing a correlation with high acceptance rates at competitive schools.

This is a national trend with test optional and the added impact of elite privates eliminating AP's makes it harder to compete.

So it is a bummer that yes, my kid works way harder than their sibling in public; yes, their big 3 private is more rigorous than public; yes, our kid in public may actually fare better in the admissions game. I think the money we spent on private was worth it in that it was the right fit for our kid, and I know they will be well-prepared for college.
But they sure as heck are not going to an Ivy, despite what, on paper, seem to be the right qualifications.

Why do you pay for one kid to go to a super expensive private and the other stay in public? That seems more unfair than losing an admissions edge. And what's the quality of the public school? And your kids courseload there?
Or maybe you're just making things up.

I think the parent with one at a big3, one at a public is a common character on this board. Said parent usually says that both schools are best for their individual children but always takes shots at one or the other depending on the point they are making. Personally I don't think there is a large population of parents who pay forty thousand a year for one kid to go to a school that the parent loves while sending their other child to a school that they believe is over crowed, not providing an education, and has behavior problems.

I don’t think it’s that hard to see how this happens. Parents place the older child on one path—public or private—feel disappointed by it for whatever reason and do the opposite for the younger kid, but by then, older kid is happy, has friends and doesn’t want to switch. Happens all the time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP you are correct. I'm also the parent of a senior and the Big 3 results in terms of top 20 schools are worse this year than in the past for unhooked Big 3 kids.

Love them or hate them, the top private school kids are working their butts off and not seeing a correlation with high acceptance rates at competitive schools.

This is a national trend with test optional and the added impact of elite privates eliminating AP's makes it harder to compete.

So it is a bummer that yes, my kid works way harder than their sibling in public; yes, their big 3 private is more rigorous than public; yes, our kid in public may actually fare better in the admissions game. I think the money we spent on private was worth it in that it was the right fit for our kid, and I know they will be well-prepared for college.
But they sure as heck are not going to an Ivy, despite what, on paper, seem to be the right qualifications.

Why do you pay for one kid to go to a super expensive private and the other stay in public? That seems more unfair than losing an admissions edge. And what's the quality of the public school? And your kids courseload there?
Or maybe you're just making things up.

I think the parent with one at a big3, one at a public is a common character on this board. Said parent usually says that both schools are best for their individual children but always takes shots at one or the other depending on the point they are making. Personally I don't think there is a large population of parents who pay forty thousand a year for one kid to go to a school that the parent loves while sending their other child to a school that they believe is over crowed, not providing an education, and has behavior problems.

I don’t think it’s that hard to see how this happens. Parents place the older child on one path—public or private—feel disappointed by it for whatever reason and do the opposite for the younger kid, but by then, older kid is happy, has friends and doesn’t want to switch. Happens all the time.

I'm a long time public school parent who has one kid at a Big3 high school and I can think of 20+ others families like mine. I'm not the above poster but I've also posted on here before.

I actually know two set of twins who were/are a public/private split for high school.
It's far more common to use different schools for different kids than you might think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The new equity focused regimes at top schools driving this insanity is having a positive effect on schools in the next tier. They are getting better students (Asian kids, mostly.) In the long run, this will end up democratizing higher ed and lower the relative advantages of the top names. We are seeing this at our firm; Harvard ain’t what it used to be (worse on average), and neither is William and Mary (better on average). Troll away on this post but it’s reality.

At the risk of hijacking’s the thread, I actually thought W&M has fallen off a bit. It was close top 25 I think back in the 1990s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The new equity focused regimes at top schools driving this insanity is having a positive effect on schools in the next tier. They are getting better students (Asian kids, mostly.) In the long run, this will end up democratizing higher ed and lower the relative advantages of the top names. We are seeing this at our firm; Harvard ain’t what it used to be (worse on average), and neither is William and Mary (better on average). Troll away on this post but it’s reality.

At the risk of hijacking’s the thread, I actually thought W&M has fallen off a bit. It was close top 25 I think back in the 1990s.

It is lower in the rankings, but is more trusted by the hirers--W&M has a very strong rigorous program.