Big 3 Nightmare

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve had kids in both private and public. The quality and rigor of the private was orders of magnitude better (and harder) than the public. Apparently even saying this is insulting all public school kids or something, based on the extremely sensitive posters I saw earlier. I don’t get the extreme over-sensitivity. It was a fact of our lives. Nothing more, nothing less. 🤷‍♀️

I guess I am supposed to pretend otherwise or something? Idk. Maybe the super sensitive posters were trolls.

Name the schools. I’m sure there are some privates harder than some publics but around here, publics have rigorous programs. Numbers wise, there are more high achievers in publics. Obviously.

No. I’m not outing my kids.

I take it you want me to pretend that difference didn’t occur. So weird.

DP. Sidwell vs. Ballou ==> big difference

Sidwell vs Whitman/BCC/RMIB/magnet/others ==> sometimes a difference in terms of educational emphasis but not quality

Whitman/BCC are not the same as magnets. Unless you've had a kid in Whitman/BCC and a kid at Sidwell/GDS/Cathedral Schools, just stop. The workload is NOT the same at these schools, even if public kids are taking the most rigorous classes. Plus the grading scale, ability to retake, etc. makes getting good grades at Whitman/BCC so much easier. The PP had kids at both...why not believe her?

Bottom dwellers (bottom 10%) at TJ would be in the top 10% at any Big3.

TJ is great. Truly fantastic. But you can't possible know that. There are extremely bright kids everywhere. Saying kids at X school work hard is not an insult to kids at TJ, who also work hard. PP stating her experience with her kids at their schools is also not an insult to TJ kids.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve had kids in both private and public. The quality and rigor of the private was orders of magnitude better (and harder) than the public. Apparently even saying this is insulting all public school kids or something, based on the extremely sensitive posters I saw earlier. I don’t get the extreme over-sensitivity. It was a fact of our lives. Nothing more, nothing less. 🤷‍♀️

I guess I am supposed to pretend otherwise or something? Idk. Maybe the super sensitive posters were trolls.

Name the schools. I’m sure there are some privates harder than some publics but around here, publics have rigorous programs. Numbers wise, there are more high achievers in publics. Obviously.

No. I’m not outing my kids.

I take it you want me to pretend that difference didn’t occur. So weird.

DP. Sidwell vs. Ballou ==> big difference

Sidwell vs Whitman/BCC/RMIB/magnet/others ==> sometimes a difference in terms of educational emphasis but not quality

Don't the local privates try to recruit the best public school kids?

I attended a top western private school as a day student for basically the cost of the included lunch at the school after being in a magnet pre-IB program. The private school was able to get great local students that way. Most of us had an additional talent too. Mine happened to be on the athletic side but the same was true of the stars in the theater department too. They got great HS kids and admission into all of HYP and top LACs out of it (non-legacy). Here I know they recruit a ton sports wise but haven't seen them actively trying to get non-athletes in the same way.

Whitman/BCC are not the same as magnets. Unless you've had a kid in Whitman/BCC and a kid at Sidwell/GDS/Cathedral Schools, just stop. The workload is NOT the same at these schools, even if public kids are taking the most rigorous classes. Plus the grading scale, ability to retake, etc. makes getting good grades at Whitman/BCC so much easier. The PP had kids at both...why not believe her?

Bottom dwellers (bottom 10%) at TJ would be in the top 10% at any Big3.

No they wouldn’t. TJ kids would not survive level of rigor in English or History classes.

TJ kids routinely win state writing competitions. How many big3 kids could take upper level math and science classes at TJ?

shhh they don’t want to accept that the best & brightest are at public schools

Yet somehow the leaders of major companies, etc. in the US are not all TJ grads.

[Anonymous]

I think there are teen TJ students trolling this thread. Do your homework, kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These days I'm thankful my kids can attend a regular public school and do well academically and socially. We did private from K-8, but made the choice to move to public last year. With three kids, we spent a lot of $$ those years.

We did a lot of research when deciding to move our oldest from private to public in 9th. Overall, we are really pleased with our school and surprised that the only real difference is that private schools are more polished in many ways (facilities, brochures, presentations etc), but public seems to get the important stuff right[i][u]. We're happy with the rigor and that DC has time to work on his other interests. Grading is very transparent. We'll see how things turn out in a few years, but I know I would've regretted staying in private, if after spending $40K per year we felt other wealthier, more prominent families were given more attention in the college application process.

It's a known fact that kids are competing within their schools for college admissions, so there is much more to consider than simply choosing the most prestigious high school. Choose the school where your kids will excel and be happy.

The bolded is probably the truest thing to be posted in this thread.
I have one in each. Yes, the private facilities and presentations (from admin, not kids) are more polished. But also yes, the public gets the important stuff right and is providing my kid with a great education.
The major significant difference is class size. For some kids that's critical. For others it's not. And for some others bigger is better.
Put your child in a school where they will thrive - that's the best way to set them up for success in college and life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think there are teen TJ students trolling this thread. Do your homework, kids.

This thread and the people posting about their big 3 nightmare deserve, even NEED to be trolled. Not that it will change their view that they are “disadvantaged” and “penalized” even though they are so much smarter and better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think there are teen TJ students trolling this thread. Do your homework, kids.

This thread and the people posting about their big 3 nightmare deserve, even NEED to be trolled. Not that it will change their view that they are “disadvantaged” and “penalized” even though they are so much smarter and better.

You could just ignore it. I think you are being ridiculous here with the over-the-top drama in your post. My kids are not in a Big 3 and I have kids in both public and private for context.

[Anonymous]

TJ alum here with kids in “big 3” — both super rigorous; both involve high schoolers with 5-6 hours homework some nights; lots to love about public and private. It is harder to get into TJ than a private in some cases; TJ has amazing arts/ theater grads who have published novels, starred on Broadway, started companies — the difference was lots of TJ were immigrant children like me, and did not even know private schools existed, so much less wealth and more scrappiness — it is hard to engineer/ recreate the bootstrapping vibe in private school unfortunately. Kids can succeed in both worlds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TJ alum here with kids in “big 3” — both super rigorous; both involve high schoolers with 5-6 hours homework some nights; lots to love about public and private. It is harder to get into TJ than a private in some cases; TJ has amazing arts/ theater grads who have published novels, starred on Broadway, started companies — the difference was lots of TJ were immigrant children like me, and did not even know private schools existed, so much less wealth and more scrappiness — it is hard to engineer/ recreate the bootstrapping vibe in private school unfortunately. Kids can succeed in both worlds.

Maybe back in your day. TJ is about 2% FARMs now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TJ alum here with kids in “big 3” — both super rigorous; both involve high schoolers with 5-6 hours homework some nights; lots to love about public and private. It is harder to get into TJ than a private in some cases; TJ has amazing arts/ theater grads who have published novels, starred on Broadway, started companies — the difference was lots of TJ were immigrant children like me, and did not even know private schools existed, so much less wealth and more scrappiness — it is hard to engineer/ recreate the bootstrapping vibe in private school unfortunately. Kids can succeed in both worlds.

Bootstrapping and private are not two things that I’d ever associate. You’re paying a lot of money so that you kid has resources and faculty who care specifically so that they don’t have to fend for themselves

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TJ alum here with kids in “big 3” — both super rigorous; both involve high schoolers with 5-6 hours homework some nights; lots to love about public and private. It is harder to get into TJ than a private in some cases; TJ has amazing arts/ theater grads who have published novels, starred on Broadway, started companies — the difference was lots of TJ were immigrant children like me, and did not even know private schools existed, so much less wealth and more scrappiness — it is hard to engineer/ recreate the bootstrapping vibe in private school unfortunately. Kids can succeed in both worlds.

Maybe back in your day. TJ is about 2% FARMs now.

A family of 4 needs to make less than $50K to qualify for FARMS. It's not just the families who qualify for FARMS who have less income than the majority of families at Big 3's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:TJ alum here with kids in “big 3” — both super rigorous; both involve high schoolers with 5-6 hours homework some nights; lots to love about public and private. It is harder to get into TJ than a private in some cases; TJ has amazing arts/ theater grads who have published novels, starred on Broadway, started companies — the difference was lots of TJ were immigrant children like me, and did not even know private schools existed, so much less wealth and more scrappiness — it is hard to engineer/ recreate the bootstrapping vibe in private school unfortunately. Kids can succeed in both worlds.

Maybe back in your day. TJ is about 2% FARMs now.

A family of 4 needs to make less than $50K to qualify for FARMS. It's not just the families who qualify for FARMS who have less income than the majority of families at Big 3's.

Very true. Income levels between TJ families and Big 3 families are not comparable, let alone wealth. Why don't more privates try to recruit TJ kids after 1-2 years? My prep school did this effectively from a couple of very good magnates near where I grew up. It ends up working out very well for everyone involved, especially since I've heard mixed reviews about the actual TJ experience.