Why are people more sympathetic to Lindsay Clancy than Andrea Yates? (Child death mentioned)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why have 3 kids? I have not seen any mom (unless they are wealthy like Hilaria Baldwin or Kim K) who don't start losing it after two kids.

3 is super hard and no one else wants to look after your kid either. This is not a society where women have a village to raise their kids. You are seriously screwed if you have 3 kids. In our circle the only people who have had 3 kids were people whose second pregnancy resulted in twins. And the moment you hear "twins" for a second pregnancy, you start to feel bad for them because more than 2 kids is chaos.

This is seriously one of the dumber takes I’ve seen on here, and that’s saying something.

Actually, I don't think it's a dumb take at all. When you don't have family or the money to hire others to help take care of your children, get them to lessons and activities, etc., and you work full time, it can be very hard and stressful as the number of children increases.

[Anonymous]

Because he knows that she would never have done this in her right mind.
—Previous postpartum RN who briefly educated moms as they left on baby blues, anxiety and PPD.
This Mom/RN knew she was in trouble and was trying to get help…she was doing the right thing. What more could she have done? My heart aches for both parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are these women’s husbands?! Andrea Yates’ husband should be serving time with her. He just totally ignored all her symptoms. What an a££.

Clancy's husband did seem to be actively involved, however his recent post to the GFM definitely confirms my prior belief that he totally had his head in the sand about the extent of what was going on. He clearly didn't grasp it. Even now he sounds kind of delusional, which is to be expected.

I think very few people fully understand the complexities of significant mental illness, in whatever form it takes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are these women’s husbands?! Andrea Yates’ husband should be serving time with her. He just totally ignored all her symptoms. What an a££.

Clancy's husband did seem to be actively involved, however his recent post to the GFM definitely confirms my prior belief that he totally had his head in the sand about the extent of what was going on. He clearly didn't grasp it. Even now he sounds kind of delusional, which is to be expected.

The clinic treating her didn’t grasp it and they were experts… it’s a tragedy to all. Of course he didn’t know..

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are these women’s husbands?! Andrea Yates’ husband should be serving time with her. He just totally ignored all her symptoms. What an a££.

Clancy's husband did seem to be actively involved, however his recent post to the GFM definitely confirms my prior belief that he totally had his head in the sand about the extent of what was going on. He clearly didn't grasp it. Even now he sounds kind of delusional, which is to be expected.

Yes, I read his GFM comment. But Yates’ husband sounded like he ignored her PPD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is sympathetic to either of them. Maybe they are paying lip service to sound enlightening, but only a monster can murder their own child.

I have no idea who this Clancy person is, but Andrea Yates gets a lot of sympathy. Tons.

Really? I don't remember that being the case. I remember hearing that she was told not to not have more kids due to previous post partum depression. yet she still chose to have another child and it out her over the edge. I think she was judge pretty harshly for this.

It takes a man and women to make a baby. Her husband was fully aware of her condition yet decided he couldn't wear a condom or pull out to stop having more kids? Was she allowed to have an abortion if she wanted one? Why didnt he drive her to a clinic then? Why is the man always blameless?

Patriarchal fundamentalist religion.

I blame the man. I absolutely blame the man.

We have no idea what it was like within their marriage, but I'll be damned if I'm going to feel any sympathy for that man. Takeout or not. Can he not cook a meal at home? My STBX couldn't even figure out how to make me a pot of tea when I was recovering from childbirth.

Raise better men.

What a cold, pathetic post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are these women’s husbands?! Andrea Yates’ husband should be serving time with her. He just totally ignored all her symptoms. What an a££.

Clancy's husband did seem to be actively involved, however his recent post to the GFM definitely confirms my prior belief that he totally had his head in the sand about the extent of what was going on. He clearly didn't grasp it. Even now he sounds kind of delusional, which is to be expected.

I think very few people fully understand the complexities of significant mental illness, in whatever form it takes.

Lindsay also may have been very good at masking how unwell she was. It's not uncommon for people who are mentally unwell to do this especially when the person is intelligent. And given her job she'd know what to say and what not to say to not set off alarm bells. She herself may have been in denial about her state of mind. I have met more than one woman in healthcare who is in denial about their mental health and frequently are judgemental of those struggling with mental health and don't see or refuse to see their own struggles

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Because he knows that she would never have done this in her right mind.
—Previous postpartum RN who briefly educated moms as they left on baby blues, anxiety and PPD.
This Mom/RN knew she was in trouble and was trying to get help…she was doing the right thing. What more could she have done? My heart aches for both parents

Voluntarily commit herself?

Was she on medication?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are these women’s husbands?! Andrea Yates’ husband should be serving time with her. He just totally ignored all her symptoms. What an a££.

Clancy's husband did seem to be actively involved, however his recent post to the GFM definitely confirms my prior belief that he totally had his head in the sand about the extent of what was going on. He clearly didn't grasp it. Even now he sounds kind of delusional, which is to be expected.

The clinic treating her didn’t grasp it and they were experts… it’s a tragedy to all. Of course he didn’t know..

We absolutely do not know this. She could have signed out AMA. She could have been told not to be alone with the kids. We have no idea what happened.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are these women’s husbands?! Andrea Yates’ husband should be serving time with her. He just totally ignored all her symptoms. What an a££.

Clancy's husband did seem to be actively involved, however his recent post to the GFM definitely confirms my prior belief that he totally had his head in the sand about the extent of what was going on. He clearly didn't grasp it. Even now he sounds kind of delusional, which is to be expected.

I don’t think we should judge anyone by how they are days after their three kids were murdered by their mother. Give the guy some grace and some room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People understand quite a bit more now about PPD nowadays.

+1 this

This, for sure.

And also ... People see themselves in Clancy in a way they didn't relate to Yates. The religion thing, the controlling husband, the number of kids, their lifestyle overall .... It was easy to "other-ise" Yates. "I'm not like her, so I can blame her because I'll never be in her shoes" (which nobody ever said or loud, but was there). Classic blame the victim response. People look at Clancy (or at least the image of her life that she projected) and see someone aspirational. Someone they not only can be like, but someone they would normally WANT to be like. That makes them look for other reasons for the actions, to absolve her of blame ... Because deep down, we all know that we could be Clancy in a way that we would never see ourselves as Yates.

Yes. Especially the wine Instagram mommy culture. Post cute pictures everything perfect. Sometimes I hate my kids lots of praise for being honest about parenting but no one questions if anything deeper is going on.

People are largely sympathetic because this is a white suburban woman, relatively well off from a nice liberal state with a cool career
Change anyone if things and she'd be more harshly judged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are these women’s husbands?! Andrea Yates’ husband should be serving time with her. He just totally ignored all her symptoms. What an a££.

Clancy's husband did seem to be actively involved, however his recent post to the GFM definitely confirms my prior belief that he totally had his head in the sand about the extent of what was going on. He clearly didn't grasp it. Even now he sounds kind of delusional, which is to be expected.

I don’t think we should judge anyone by how they are days after their three kids were murdered by their mother. Give the guy some grace and some room.

+1 seriously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Where are these women’s husbands?! Andrea Yates’ husband should be serving time with her. He just totally ignored all her symptoms. What an a££.

Clancy's husband did seem to be actively involved, however his recent post to the GFM definitely confirms my prior belief that he totally had his head in the sand about the extent of what was going on. He clearly didn't grasp it. Even now he sounds kind of delusional, which is to be expected.

The clinic treating her didn’t grasp it and they were experts… it’s a tragedy to all. Of course he didn’t know..

We absolutely do not know this. She could have signed out AMA. She could have been told not to be alone with the kids. We have no idea what happened.

What good does that do when someone is experiencing mental illness and possible psychosis.

[Anonymous]

Andrea Yates became a more sympathetic figure over time, as more details came out about her husband and there was increased public awareness about PPP. I don't recall any outrage whatsoever about the verdict at her second trial. It's probably because of the groundwork her case laid that Clancy is being treated more sympathetically from the off.

I can be both horrified by what happened to the Yates children and sympathetic to Andrea Yates. She was completely out of her mind. And to be restored to her mind, she then had to come to grips with what she'd done while out of it, which sounds like an unspeakable hell. Apparently she refuses to be reviewed for release from the mental hospital every year even though she might be eligible at this point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one is sympathetic to either of them. Maybe they are paying lip service to sound enlightening, but only a monster can murder their own child.

I have no idea who this Clancy person is, but Andrea Yates gets a lot of sympathy. Tons.

Really? I don't remember that being the case. I remember hearing that she was told not to not have more kids due to previous post partum depression. yet she still chose to have another child and it out her over the edge. I think she was judge pretty harshly for this.

It takes a man and women to make a baby. Her husband was fully aware of her condition yet decided he couldn't wear a condom or pull out to stop having more kids? Was she allowed to have an abortion if she wanted one? Why didnt he drive her to a clinic then? Why is the man always blameless?

Patriarchal fundamentalist religion.

I blame the man. I absolutely blame the man.

We have no idea what it was like within their marriage, but I'll be damned if I'm going to feel any sympathy for that man. Takeout or not. Can he not cook a meal at home? My STBX couldn't even figure out how to make me a pot of tea when I was recovering from childbirth.

Raise better men.

I think your personal feelings are getting in the way here. The wife was in a 5 day a week program. That means the doctors did not deem her a danger to herself or others. Otherwise, she would have been committed. The doctors should be blamed here! Shameful.

Pp one for all you know she could have insisted on a particular restaurant for food and pressured him to go out. Dating he needed to trust her. She was better no longer in treatment. Etc.

Pp two for all you know she could have manipulated the doctors as well. She was a professional specifically skilled in women in childbirth meaning she would know what buzzwords to use to be medically cleared.

Do you both see how that works? Just speculating.

At this point we only have enough facts to blame Lindsay herself. She was the one to kill her kids. It's upsetting to know a mother can do this especially a mother whose demographic many here identify with. It's easy to want to lay the blame elsewhere.
But as of yet until more facts come out. She is responsible. What consequences she or others will face have yet to be determined.