5 1/2 year old niece only eats hot dogs…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 13 year old who is very picky. She will eat peanut butter on toast or chicken nuggets for most meals. The only fruit she will eat is applesauce, or an occasional banana. Our rule is that if she's not eating what we provided/made, then she has to make her own dinner. She does this without complaint. It is what it is. There were times when she was young where we tried to bribe her or cajole her into trying something, and she would gag. She has a real aversion to certain textures and a very narrow palate.

She's a very mature young teen in most areas and she's started to challenge herself more. For example, she ate some pasta the other night. She didn't like it, but she ate it. She also got her flu shot and even though she has a phobia of shots, she just told herself that it was something she had to do. I always knew that at a certain point she'd just make herself overcome it.

There was a time when she was younger that I felt frustrated and, yes, embarrassed that she didn't have a wider palate. But then I asked myself, "Do you know any adults who only eat chicken nuggets?" And the answer is no. Eventually people grow out of this. No one wants to go to high school or college and get made fun of for only eating kid food.

To sum up, you can judge your sibling and their spouse all you want, but this is a very common issue. If you feel it falls into a larger pattern of not enforcing rules, well we don't know, we're strangers on the internet. You may be right. I just know from my experience that some kids are just like this. Her younger sister never had any trouble trying or eating anything, so I know it wasn't that I somehow caused this to happen. At a certain point parents have to choose their battles.

I actually do know an adult who never grew out of this and now her child, who is 19 and in college, has the same palate. Plain hamburgers, fried chicken, chicken breasts, white rice, pound cake, and Hawaiian rolls are what these people eat. It is awful because the mother has incredibly poor health after a lifetime of eating this way, and had been told this very clearly by medical professionals. Yet she's still not made changes and her child will suffer same fate.

Google "Warren Buffet diet."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

I'm American and I have never, known of a kid who will only eat hot dogs, or any one particular food. I've never even heard of it happening until I saw this post. But I wouldn't have said "this doesn't happen in America" because I know that I do not know the details of the eating habits of every child in the country. And I'm pretty sure you don't either. Yes, Americans do eat much worse food than in other countries, but that doesn't have anything to do with an extreme eating issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

I am an American and this is what my mother did and I do the same.

+1. Another American here, and we had to sit at a the table until we had eaten a reasonable portion of the food. It taught us lessons about waste.

meh, you were just weak and gave in. Guess what? My parents tried this and I just sat at the dinner table until bedtime. Every night. No problem. Didn't give a damn. If they pulled it out for breakfast the next morning to "prove a point" I would simply sit until I needed to catch the bus for school. It taught me nothing except how not to treat my child.

+1
My parents pulled that once. I slept at the dinner table. One time they tried to make me take a bite of a food to which I had a texture aversion. I vomited all over the table. (I have grown up into an adult who eats a normal variety of foods, but still retains a few texture aversions.)

We have friends who tried this with their kid who, unlike his siblings, who were actually pretty adventurous eaters, had severe food restrictions. He refused to eat and started losing weight. He wasn't "picky," he had serious sensory issues that required years of therapy to deal with. People think kids are "picky" if they don't like absolutely everything; no wonder they don't understand real eating disorders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh honestly, not EVERYONE in any country does the same thing. I bet the people with kids who would rather starve than eat certain textures just hide it bette4 and live in shame.

Because even here there is shame around it. No one WANTS ago feed their kid five foods or less. Or spend money on books and specialists to be told don’t worry - they might outgrow it.

It sucks. It is embarrassing. But I also can’t fight 3 meals a day.

I’m the PP. No need to fight with your kid three meals a day. My mother would just calmly put the meal in front of me and basically that was all that was offered until the next meal (besides the occasional fruit.) If I didn’t eat any of it, that was fine….no one would get upset, shame me or flight with me to eat. I would just be hungry until the next meal.

My family also did this and I just didn't eat. I was an extremely thin kid and I'm the shortest woman in my family by a couple inches. I think I didn't achieve my potential height because I didn't consume enough calories to grow. I also developed a severe eating disorder as a teen, I think in part because I was so used to being hungry and not responding to hunger cues.

It was your decision not to eat. Blame yourself.

Ha! Sure. That's what I tell my kid about her asthma.

How did what she ate cause her to get asthma? You’re comparing apples to oranges.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 yo is in a hot dog phase. She has grassfed organic beef dogs with shredded cheese on with brioche buns. On top she pico de gallo. Seems like a compete meal until she moves into the next thing.

Lol. Brioche and salsa. That definitely makes it ok

What? There's even calcium! Good hotdogs are literally beef and spices. Think of a hotdog as a blank slate that you can put anything on. There are even dessert dogs!

Don't let food restrictions limit you. Expand your creativity

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

Immigrant here too. And I would never, ever claim to know what every family in my country does or does not do and how they feed their kids. If your country limited to persons in your family so you know all of them?

[Anonymous]

I posted earlier about knowing an adult who had passed down her disordered eating to her now adult child. The poor health outcomes she is experiencing are horrible. People do not understand that many kids will NOT grow out of this without serious intervention.

She has an extreme deficiency of nearly every single vitamin. She is so anemic she needs to have iron infusions. Her hair is thinning, her vision is deteriorating and she has a permanent handicap placard because she cannot walk more than 30 steps without being completely winded and needing to take a break.

She is 48 and I've never once seen her eat a vegetable that is not a potato. Her child once told me that they didn't know until high school that the mother was not normal. Child thought everyone's mom couldn't walk anywhere and was weird about food.

The child (who is now in college) eats a few more foods than the mom, but is still very, very stunted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier about knowing an adult who had passed down her disordered eating to her now adult child. The poor health outcomes she is experiencing are horrible. People do not understand that many kids will NOT grow out of this without serious intervention.

She has an extreme deficiency of nearly every single vitamin. She is so anemic she needs to have iron infusions. Her hair is thinning, her vision is deteriorating and she has a permanent handicap placard because she cannot walk more than 30 steps without being completely winded and needing to take a break.

She is 48 and I've never once seen her eat a vegetable that is not a potato. Her child once told me that they didn't know until high school that the mother was not normal. Child thought everyone's mom couldn't walk anywhere and was weird about food.

The child (who is now in college) eats a few more foods than the mom, but is still very, very stunted.

Is your point that it’s not always something that people grow out of, and requires medical intervention, so it’s more than just picky eating? Or is it that if people could easily change their palates, they would, because who would choose poor health and iron infusions over vegetables, and therefore they need some sort of medical intervention? That it’s beyond being picky and getting into physical and mental health issues that require more than a “clean your plate” or “you eat what the family eats” approach? Or do you think that if the parents had starved them a little more when they were kids, they would’ve snapped out of it and learned to love everything from asparagus to zucchini?

[Anonymous]

My son is very picky specific to protein sources and anything not plain. He loves hot dogs, but wouldn't touch even chicken nuggets for years. Or when he would eat them, only microwaved so they were soft, not crunchy, if they were crunchy he would gag. Would not eat pizza. No beans. Specific kind of cheese such as cheese sticks. Any "real" meat like homemade chicken or steak or even meatballs, hamburger, might come back out if the texture bothers him and/or taste is surprising. I've constantly worried about if he's getting enough protein and iron. Thankfully, inexplicably, is ok with plain vegetables and most fruit.

He's gotten a little better, but it's still tough. He has a sensitive gag reflex and it gets overactive with food that is unfamiliar.

I grew up with a strict single, widowed mom who was born in the 1930s (adopted me so I had a much older parent than others my age) who did the whole eat what's on your plate or go hungry, and eat enough of it or you'll sit at the table for hours. So I tried that, I was used to that. However, my son will starve. Or you can push him to take a bite and he might start to retch and has even vomited on the table. He's had a referral to a nutritionist for small growth year on year and picky eating. Now that he's older, he is better at verbalizing what is happening or what he is feeling when he starts to retch/gag. This is helping us to take steps to work past it because we can talk about figuring out how to get past that sensation and he is becoming slightly more willing to try some new things.

DHs parents are very picky and I think he gets it from his side. My FIL who is in his early 70s will only eat meat and potatoes and white wonderbread and balks at any vegetable that isn't a potato. If he takes a bite to be polite, he has the exact same look on his face as my son of trying to sort of force himself to swallow it. My MIL is OCD and bothered if different food touches on her plate.

If I hadn't had my son, I just wouldn't understand it as an outsider. I have a 2nd child who is slightly picky, but it's not the same at all. Please don't judge, it's just some kids are different.

[Anonymous]

I had a colleague whose son only at McDonalds chicken nuggets, And only in a moving car.

Later was diagnosed as extremely autistic. This was about 8 years ago and I lost touch with the guy but they were doubtful he'd ever live alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they let her eat what she wants when family/friends are around? Better than making an issue of it in front of others.

This is what I'd guess is going on. They don't want to make family visits a power struggle, so they bring/serve her the food they know she'll eat without complaint. Or maybe she's on a hot dog jag and will exhaust her interest in them in another week (and the parents know this). In any event, either it's a medical issue (and not your business), or there's more going on that they're not telling you (therefore not your business). I'm sure we'd hear a very different story from the child's parents, so let's all just take OP's recounting with a big grain of salt.

My family was thinking it was a "you're too lenient" issue till I pushed DS to try a bite of something at their house and he threw up onto my hand as I tried to catch the vomit before it hit their table.

No more judgment after that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MYOB

This is the most common response on any Family Relationships thread. What do you think the purpose of an Internet forum on Family Relationships is? Do you think this is a helpful comment?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 13 year old who is very picky. She will eat peanut butter on toast or chicken nuggets for most meals. The only fruit she will eat is applesauce, or an occasional banana. Our rule is that if she's not eating what we provided/made, then she has to make her own dinner. She does this without complaint. It is what it is. There were times when she was young where we tried to bribe her or cajole her into trying something, and she would gag. She has a real aversion to certain textures and a very narrow palate.

She's a very mature young teen in most areas and she's started to challenge herself more. For example, she ate some pasta the other night. She didn't like it, but she ate it. She also got her flu shot and even though she has a phobia of shots, she just told herself that it was something she had to do. I always knew that at a certain point she'd just make herself overcome it.

There was a time when she was younger that I felt frustrated and, yes, embarrassed that she didn't have a wider palate. But then I asked myself, "Do you know any adults who only eat chicken nuggets?" And the answer is no. Eventually people grow out of this. No one wants to go to high school or college and get made fun of for only eating kid food.

To sum up, you can judge your sibling and their spouse all you want, but this is a very common issue. If you feel it falls into a larger pattern of not enforcing rules, well we don't know, we're strangers on the internet. You may be right. I just know from my experience that some kids are just like this. Her younger sister never had any trouble trying or eating anything, so I know it wasn't that I somehow caused this to happen. At a certain point parents have to choose their battles.

I will say that i do know adults (2) who only eat chicken nuggets and burgers. No veg, no fruit of any kind.

My SIL is one of these. My brother thought it was just a question of exposure and then they got married. If he wants to eat anything else, he is supposed to fix it. And unfortunately, she has taught their two children that all other foods are "gross."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Immigrant here. Honestly this kind of behavior does not occur in my country. One dish is prepared for each meal and the WHOLE family must eat whatever is served. Don’t want to eat it because of ‘pickiness’ then fine, go hungry. They eventually will eat some of what is served.

We don’t coddle the children like they do in the US.

complete rubbish!! Researchers at Childrens National Medical Center have traced this problem with eating to a specific gene. These kids would starve to death versus eat what they perceive as atrocious. It’s extreme. It’s called problem eaters, not picky eaters. It’s a real problem.

How common do you think this really is? It is much MORE common for parents to satisfy the tantrums thrown by kids who want to eat foods that we are genetically programmed to desire: high fat, high sugar, high salt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:MYOB

This is the most common response on any Family Relationships thread. What do you think the purpose of an Internet forum on Family Relationships is? Do you think this is a helpful comment?

Of course it is. Sometimes the OP needs to be told to stay in their lane. Most people don’t know when to do that.