5 1/2 year old niece only eats hot dogs…

[Anonymous]

The poor kids who are allowed to eat like this develop so much anxiety about going to friends' houses (not to mention whatever sort of constipation this poor girl must be going through). The lazy parents think they are being kind to the kid, but they are doing active harm. I know a teen who literally only eats chicken nuggets and sweets. It's bad and if she can't get those things she does not eat anything. She is literally at the point of needing a therapist to deal with food.

This stuff doesn't always pass.

[Anonymous]

In one of my Facebook groups one person asked how the Costco Shepherd's Pie is. One woman replied it was great and her house full of picky eaters ate it right up. I chuckled to myself because, IMO, if your kid will eat Shepherd's Pie without complaint you don't have a picky eater.

It's really easy to diagnose a problem and what you think you would do about it if you aren't the one dealing with it day in and day out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The poor kids who are allowed to eat like this develop so much anxiety about going to friends' houses (not to mention whatever sort of constipation this poor girl must be going through). The lazy parents think they are being kind to the kid, but they are doing active harm. I know a teen who literally only eats chicken nuggets and sweets. It's bad and if she can't get those things she does not eat anything. She is literally at the point of needing a therapist to deal with food.

This stuff doesn't always pass.

Did it occur to you that the anxiety probably comes before the food control? Not the other way around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 5 yo is in a hot dog phase. She has grassfed organic beef dogs with shredded cheese on with brioche buns. On top she pico de gallo. Seems like a compete meal until she moves into the next thing.

This comment is a fascinating mixture of support mixed with complete douchiness. I can't decide whether to applaud it or to tell the PP to eff off.

ITA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe they let her eat what she wants when family/friends are around? Better than making an issue of it in front of others.

This is what I'd guess is going on. They don't want to make family visits a power struggle, so they bring/serve her the food they know she'll eat without complaint. Or maybe she's on a hot dog jag and will exhaust her interest in them in another week (and the parents know this). In any event, either it's a medical issue (and not your business), or there's more going on that they're not telling you (therefore not your business). I'm sure we'd hear a very different story from the child's parents, so let's all just take OP's recounting with a big grain of salt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Y'all realize that such kids wouldn't be coddled in other cultures right? Children in other cultures have much wider palates.

And in some cultures they die, and it's called "Failure to Thrive". Please don't be so dense.

[Anonymous]

I have a kid with a feeding disorder (Google ARFIG). It’s a living hell, it makes mealtimes miserable, and the judgement from others makes it all harder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are picky kids, and then there are kids who will, in fact, starve themselves rather than eat the "wrong" foods. If you've never had a severely underweight kid, I don't think you can understand that anxiety -- it's primal. It can take years of therapy to deal with. You sound both super-judgmental and like you don't actually understand what's going on.

We have friends who have two kids who are perfectly normal eaters and one who would only eat an extremely limited diet (basically, only white, bland foods, so he lived on potatoes and white bread and not much else). And they tried all kinds of things, but he would, in fact, starve rather than eat. He was under the care of a medical team and it took many years to (very gradually) expand his palate. I'm sure lots of people judged them, but they didn't know the facts.

This was my family. Two normal eaters and a kid who are one food. We went to every specialist around and no one had any successful ideas. After awhile they advised to just do what it takes to keep the kid alive. I still have PTSD from that 12 year period of my life.

[Anonymous]

The DC obviously has an eating disorder, Op. Just layoff.

[Anonymous]

My kid is not picky but went to sleep away camp for the first time and literally only ate fruit for 6 days. She lots 3lbs. They probably thought she was picky… still don’t really know what the issue was. Tonight for dinner she had lentil/vegetable soup with black beans mixed in, over rice, then tomatoes on the side and a pear afterwards. She’s never had a hotdog in her life. I told her she could eat whatever while away but I guess it just wasn’t appealing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I didn’t have a child with food concerns, but if you really think that a child who will *only* eat hot dogs and is underweight can somehow be out willed, you might want to spend some time educating yourself.

Aside from that, your judgments like “gross” and “repulsed” shows that you just need to back off and let this family dealt with what they’re dealing with, as you lack empathy and any obvious skills that can help this family.

All. Of. This.

[Anonymous]

Colon cancer

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 13 year old who is very picky. She will eat peanut butter on toast or chicken nuggets for most meals. The only fruit she will eat is applesauce, or an occasional banana. Our rule is that if she's not eating what we provided/made, then she has to make her own dinner. She does this without complaint. It is what it is. There were times when she was young where we tried to bribe her or cajole her into trying something, and she would gag. She has a real aversion to certain textures and a very narrow palate.

She's a very mature young teen in most areas and she's started to challenge herself more. For example, she ate some pasta the other night. She didn't like it, but she ate it. She also got her flu shot and even though she has a phobia of shots, she just told herself that it was something she had to do. I always knew that at a certain point she'd just make herself overcome it.

There was a time when she was younger that I felt frustrated and, yes, embarrassed that she didn't have a wider palate. But then I asked myself, "Do you know any adults who only eat chicken nuggets?" And the answer is no. Eventually people grow out of this. No one wants to go to high school or college and get made fun of for only eating kid food.

To sum up, you can judge your sibling and their spouse all you want, but this is a very common issue. If you feel it falls into a larger pattern of not enforcing rules, well we don't know, we're strangers on the internet. You may be right. I just know from my experience that some kids are just like this. Her younger sister never had any trouble trying or eating anything, so I know it wasn't that I somehow caused this to happen. At a certain point parents have to choose their battles.

Did I write this! This almost perfectly describes my 13 year old daughter as well. Peer pressure has definitely had an influence and she has recently added a couple new foods to her diet. As a healthy eater myself her diet used to drive me batty. I have learned that she will figure this out over time. She knows that I will always take her to the grocery store to get heathy foods if there is something she’d like try. Recently it was pita and hummus and yogurt drinks. She liked them and now eats those fairly regularly. Yeah!!!

OP unless you’ve walked in somebody else’s shoes then don’t judge.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess: "Kids don't starve themselves! If they just served her healthy food at every meal they would eventually break her and she would eat!"

A kid who only eats one food needs medical followup (and maybe she's getting it) but I'm on team parents because at least they are keeping this child alive.

A boy in the UK went blind because of his avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. If she isn’t getting medical attention, she should be.
https://www.bbc.com/news/health-49551337


“ Experts are warning about the risks of extreme restrictive eating after a teen developed permanent sight loss after living on a diet of chips and crisps.

Eye doctors in Bristol cared for the 17-year-old after his vision had deteriorated to the point of blindness.

Since leaving primary school, the teen had been eating only French fries, Pringles and white bread, as well as an occasional slice of ham or a sausage.

Tests revealed he had severe vitamin deficiencies and malnutrition damage.

Malnourished


The adolescent, who cannot be named, had seen his GP at the age of 14 because he had been feeling tired and unwell. At that time he was diagnosed with vitamin B12 deficiency and put on supplements, but he did not stick with the treatment or improve his poor diet.

Three years later, he was taken to the Bristol Eye Hospital because of progressive sight loss, Annals of Internal Medicine journal reports.

Dr Denize Atan, who treated him at the hospital, said: "His diet was essentially a portion of chips from the local fish and chip shop every day. He also used to snack on crisps - Pringles - and sometimes slices of white bread and occasional slices of ham, and not really any fruit and vegetables.

"He explained this as an aversion to certain textures of food that he really could not tolerate, and so chips and crisps were really the only types of food that he wanted and felt that he could eat."

Dr Atan and her colleagues rechecked the young man's vitamin levels and found he was low in B12 as well as some other important vitamins and minerals - copper, selenium and vitamin D.

Shocking findings


He was not over or underweight, but was severely malnourished from his eating disorder - avoidant-restrictive food intake disorder.

"He had lost minerals from his bone, which was really quite shocking for a boy of his age."

He was put on vitamin supplements and referred to a dietitian and a specialist mental health team.

In terms of his sight loss, he met the criteria for being registered blind.

"He had blind spots right in the middle of his vision," said Dr Atan. "That means he can't drive and would find it really difficult to read, watch TV or discern faces.

"He can walk around on his own though because he has got peripheral vision."
Nutritional optic neuropathy - the condition the young man has - is treatable if diagnosed early. Left too long, however, the nerve fibres in the optic nerve die and the damage becomes permanent.

Dr Atan said cases like this are thankfully uncommon, but that parents should be aware of the potential harm that can be caused by picky eating, and seek expert help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let me guess: "Kids don't starve themselves! If they just served her healthy food at every meal they would eventually break her and she would eat!"

A kid who only eats one food needs medical followup (and maybe she's getting it) but I'm on team parents because at least they are keeping this child alive.

A boy in the UK went blind because of his avoidant restrictive food intake disorder. If she isn’t getting medical attention, she should be.
https://www.bbc.com/news/health-49551337


“ Experts are warning about the risks of extreme restrictive eating after a teen developed permanent sight loss after living on a diet of chips and crisps.

Eye doctors in Bristol cared for the 17-year-old after his vision had deteriorated to the point of blindness.

Since leaving primary school, the teen had been eating only French fries, Pringles and white bread, as well as an occasional slice of ham or a sausage.

Tests revealed he had severe vitamin deficiencies and malnutrition damage.

Malnourished


The adolescent, who cannot be named, had seen his GP at the age of 14 because he had been feeling tired and unwell. At that time he was diagnosed with vitamin B12 deficiency and put on supplements, but he did not stick with the treatment or improve his poor diet.

Three years later, he was taken to the Bristol Eye Hospital because of progressive sight loss, Annals of Internal Medicine journal reports.

Dr Denize Atan, who treated him at the hospital, said: "His diet was essentially a portion of chips from the local fish and chip shop every day. He also used to snack on crisps - Pringles - and sometimes slices of white bread and occasional slices of ham, and not really any fruit and vegetables.

"He explained this as an aversion to certain textures of food that he really could not tolerate, and so chips and crisps were really the only types of food that he wanted and felt that he could eat."

Dr Atan and her colleagues rechecked the young man's vitamin levels and found he was low in B12 as well as some other important vitamins and minerals - copper, selenium and vitamin D.

Shocking findings


He was not over or underweight, but was severely malnourished from his eating disorder - avoidant-restrictive food intake disorder.

"He had lost minerals from his bone, which was really quite shocking for a boy of his age."

He was put on vitamin supplements and referred to a dietitian and a specialist mental health team.

In terms of his sight loss, he met the criteria for being registered blind.

"He had blind spots right in the middle of his vision," said Dr Atan. "That means he can't drive and would find it really difficult to read, watch TV or discern faces.

"He can walk around on his own though because he has got peripheral vision."
Nutritional optic neuropathy - the condition the young man has - is treatable if diagnosed early. Left too long, however, the nerve fibres in the optic nerve die and the damage becomes permanent.

Dr Atan said cases like this are thankfully uncommon, but that parents should be aware of the potential harm that can be caused by picky eating, and seek expert help.

You’re assuming OP has a medical degree focused on childhood nutrition and food aversion disorders, so they can help? Do you think sitting at the Christmas table and proclaiming things “gross” and “repulsive” will get this family the help they need?