“Shamed” for Thanksgiving contribution to school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always buy generic for myself, but I always buy name brands for food banks and contributions. The reason is that I had a friend in college who had grown up poor enough to use a food bank regularly and he said that this was something kids always noticed about food bank food--they weren't "good enough" to deserve the brand names.

On an entire Thanksgiving meal for a family of 8 this might add $20 to the price. That's fine with me.

As an occasional recipient I thank you, PP. it does mean a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We volunteer regularly at a food pantry that our church runs.

99% of the food that's going out is provided by the Dept. of Agriculture through their various sourcing contracts and various federal benefit programs.

The people who are picking up mac and cheese on sale, or scouring weekly circulars for a few boxes of brand name cereal, or the local Cub Scout troop doing their annual gathering ... great. That stuff gets thrown into whatever boxes are being packed at the moment. Sure, it helps. But don't get bent out of shape about it, either way.

It doesn't really sound like they need our donations. What organization is this, PP?

I'm not going to specify the church, but it's true of any food pantry that is serving a significant part of the community. And you are absolutely correct that they really don't need your donations. I'm not saying don't do it, whatever is donated gets distributed and added to the top of the standard boxes. So if PP brings in 20 boxes of $0.20 Target macaroni and cheese, then 20 boxes will get one of those thrown on top. Cool.

If you're looking for the workers to be super grateful that you're bringing a few boxes of mac and cheese, you're asking a lot. I agree that commenting on whether something is generic is bullsh1t, though.

I get it; I've noticed over the years that Goodwill workers tend to act like they're doing me a favor when they take all the crap from my SUV on Decluttering Saturdays. But the truth is, they are. Most of it's headed to the landfill, anyway. Nobody actually needs all this used clothes.

NP. Literally no one is asking for that. People are expecting volunteers or whoever to not be openly rude about their donations. What a concept.

The workers probably know that the receivers will complain about the brands. Take notice of those paying with EBT cards at the grocery store, their carts are full or name brand, individually packaged items.

As someone in the know I have to say it’s often true

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did this really happen? I can’t imagine someone saying that. If they did, I would probably explain that they mispronounced “thank you” and then shoot an email to their superior about it.

I believe it.

I stumbled upon a great deal on Market Pantry boxed mac & cheese a few months ago - I was at Target when the worker was placing them on a Clearance endcap - and each box was $.20. I took 12 boxes to take to my local food pantry and when dropping them off, the lady who took the bag passed them to another volunteer and said "mac & cheese GENERIC" and the other worker said "of course it is" and I was stunned.

I've not donated since. There's a little free pantry in one area of my town where someone also set up a table to hold overflow food. I've been leaving food there since.

You don’t have to donate, it’s fine. But also that’s what 99% of recipients think. You just got a glimpse of reality. Your generic 20 cent food is probably being hoarded by old people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did this really happen? I can’t imagine someone saying that. If they did, I would probably explain that they mispronounced “thank you” and then shoot an email to their superior about it.

Yes, really happened. The front desk person has long been the discussion of lack of tact. Which is ironic considering her job.

Public in VA.

And there you go. Maybe she's on the spectrum. Leave it alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We volunteer regularly at a food pantry that our church runs.

99% of the food that's going out is provided by the Dept. of Agriculture through their various sourcing contracts and various federal benefit programs.

The people who are picking up mac and cheese on sale, or scouring weekly circulars for a few boxes of brand name cereal, or the local Cub Scout troop doing their annual gathering ... great. That stuff gets thrown into whatever boxes are being packed at the moment. Sure, it helps. But don't get bent out of shape about it, either way.

Our church has a pantry that is 100% provided by our members. The government doesn't send food or boxes. We appreciate any donations and use anything as long as it is not expired. The people who come to our pantry are thankful for what we provide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Cream cheese specifically, is the exact same thing.

At Giant yesterday, my DD went to get cream cheese and came back with two Phillies.

I said "Whoa, whoa whoa. Hang on. Where's the Giant brand. She had no clue about the distinction."

$2.59 vs $4.59.

I have nothing against many generics but Philadelphia cream cheese and generics are absolutely different.

They are. This was no worthy of three Whoas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We volunteer regularly at a food pantry that our church runs.

99% of the food that's going out is provided by the Dept. of Agriculture through their various sourcing contracts and various federal benefit programs.

The people who are picking up mac and cheese on sale, or scouring weekly circulars for a few boxes of brand name cereal, or the local Cub Scout troop doing their annual gathering ... great. That stuff gets thrown into whatever boxes are being packed at the moment. Sure, it helps. But don't get bent out of shape about it, either way.

Our church has a pantry that is 100% provided by our members. The government doesn't send food or boxes. We appreciate any donations and use anything as long as it is not expired. The people who come to our pantry are thankful for what we provide.

+`1 This is such nonsense. It's fantasy. When people are hungry and need to feed their children, they're happy to have generic mac n cheese. No one rolls their eyes at that.

[Anonymous]

I am an upper middle class family. We shop at Aldi and Trader Joe's and buy generic brands for ourselves. I also had a similar experience for the Thanksgiving donation. Some of the items I could not find at Aldi, so I went to Whole Foods. We only have one car and these are the stores within walking distance. The front desk person at school gave me a look. I wear high end clothing that I buy at consignment but my husband and I shop primarily at Aldi because we get whole foods not processed like fruits, vegetables, milk and fish/meat. I think most of the families at our expensive day care also shopped there. I grew up working class and I know what you mean about the brand names. My mom won't eat something generic or from Aldi or Trader Joe's. She shops at a super pricey boutique market. She only buys new things and would never think of buying old. I wish I knew what I knew as a 46 year old at 26 when I was living in public housing and working 3 jobs to get buy. Back then, I was shopping at Harris Teeter and buying fish and organic salad mixes. I could have bought a house and saved a lot more. Meanwhile, my DH is from a well off family for generations and he is always a bargain shopper. He will figure out deals to get the best stuff. My boys always have Patagonia or North Face coats, nice clothing, but it is almost always consigned or thrifted or if I do buy new, I consign, thrift or donate.

[Anonymous]

As someone who buys a lot of cream cheese and can never find enough, it is amazing you were able to find any in the stores as Thanksgiving approaches. Thank you for your donation, period.

Don't worry about the administrator collecting the items. She probably just knows that the recipients have preferences and that is not for generic items. If you have ever worked at a food bank/food pantry, you will notice taht some recipients will complain about receiving generic, very loudly. When I provided pro bono services on a case, my client complained that they were not being interviewed in a fancy legal office but instead, at the small conference room at legal services, and that we could not afford to provide legal assistance for every single one of their legal issues, but just the singular issue agreed to in the retainer.

It sounds ungrateful but it is just that if something is offered for free, some recipients are merely hopeful that they will get the royal treatment, that they perceive or imagine someone wealthy would receive - not an experience someone in the middle class could afford routinely. Proctor and Gamble and many consumer brands have done research on this and a lot of people aspire to purchase Tide or Coca-Cola, or Dawn. It may not be any better than generic, but it is the perception.

[Anonymous]

I just donate the same brands my family eats. Sometimes that’s brand name, sometimes generic. If it’s good enough for me to feed to my family that I love, it’s good enough for the person receiving the donation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We volunteer regularly at a food pantry that our church runs.

99% of the food that's going out is provided by the Dept. of Agriculture through their various sourcing contracts and various federal benefit programs.

The people who are picking up mac and cheese on sale, or scouring weekly circulars for a few boxes of brand name cereal, or the local Cub Scout troop doing their annual gathering ... great. That stuff gets thrown into whatever boxes are being packed at the moment. Sure, it helps. But don't get bent out of shape about it, either way.

Our church has a pantry that is 100% provided by our members. The government doesn't send food or boxes. We appreciate any donations and use anything as long as it is not expired. The people who come to our pantry are thankful for what we provide.

+`1 This is such nonsense. It's fantasy. When people are hungry and need to feed their children, they're happy to have generic mac n cheese. No one rolls their eyes at that.

LOL. You'd be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an upper middle class family. We shop at Aldi and Trader Joe's and buy generic brands for ourselves. I also had a similar experience for the Thanksgiving donation. Some of the items I could not find at Aldi, so I went to Whole Foods. We only have one car and these are the stores within walking distance. The front desk person at school gave me a look. I wear high end clothing that I buy at consignment but my husband and I shop primarily at Aldi because we get whole foods not processed like fruits, vegetables, milk and fish/meat. I think most of the families at our expensive day care also shopped there. I grew up working class and I know what you mean about the brand names. My mom won't eat something generic or from Aldi or Trader Joe's. She shops at a super pricey boutique market. She only buys new things and would never think of buying old. I wish I knew what I knew as a 46 year old at 26 when I was living in public housing and working 3 jobs to get buy. Back then, I was shopping at Harris Teeter and buying fish and organic salad mixes. I could have bought a house and saved a lot more. Meanwhile, my DH is from a well off family for generations and he is always a bargain shopper. He will figure out deals to get the best stuff. My boys always have Patagonia or North Face coats, nice clothing, but it is almost always consigned or thrifted or if I do buy new, I consign, thrift or donate.

I am a twice a week Aldi grocery shopper. Most of my kids' gifts come from the Dollar Tree. Our clothes are from thrift stores or eBay. We had contributed $40 gift cards to Aldis in the past but the school admin noted that what families need is gift cards to a store that is nearby and convenient. So now, we provide $100 gift cards to Whole Foods. Unfortunately, not all Aldis are located in a convenient and accessible location - and their stock is not restocked fast enough when it is busy. Whole Foods, while expensive, generally have stores in accessible locations and the shelves will stay well stocked during the holidays (near Metro stations and along major bus lines). It's just the reality of some neighborhoods.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She shouldn’t have told you straight to your face, but as an occasional recipient of food boxes I always appreciate when I get something by well known brands. First, it’s more consistent, and second, I feel like the person didn’t think of me as less than. I am sure you got what you usually get for yourself, and I would never ever say anything but just so you know, it does matter. Of course it doesn’t mean you should immediately change your ways.

Not op, but as somebody who buys generic name brands for my own family, I don’t understand how or why you would think you were less than because you receive generic. I think you need to free yourself from that mentality. (And before anybody says it’s a privilege thing, I grew up poor, on farms and everything that entailed. ).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love that for you. I LOVE when people say things like that. And I'd have told her that. "I love that you said that; have a great day, bye!"

This is a very weird response. No one is going to be fazed by your odd retort.

I don't give a crap whether they're fazed. I'd just be sharing my feeling, which is that I love when people are just out in the world, brazenly being rude or obnoxious and don't care that they're showing that negative side of themselves. I always envision myself on a stage with them, and stepping aside to give them the full stage. "Go ahead, show everyone what a judgmental twat you are!"

I understood your response PP. It would make me chuckle if I heard someone say that to someone being rude.

[Anonymous]

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