Can I divorce my husband over furniture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You can divorce for any reason you like.

Early in my marriage (granted, we were mid 20s, not mid 30s) my husband didn't understand my love of jewelry. When we got engaged I gave him my grandmother's diamond to set in a plain engagement ring and got a plain gold wedding band because my husband was pretty poor. Meanwhile, I got him a platinum band that cost 8x as much. When I wanted to spend about as much as his platinum band on a diamond band for our one year anniversary, my husband was weirdly unsupportive. He had a little tantrum and accused me of being materialistic, basically. It turns out he was embarrassed that I would want something like that for a "small" anniversary and felt like people would judge us. Anyway, lots to unpack there. We were young. We figured it out, eventually. I have plenty of baubles now, lol, and an account just for buying more.

When someone who doesn't have good self-awareness decides that a small thing actually means a big thing, it can blow up like what you are describing. The issue isn't really the furniture but whether you can both figure out why you're misaligned here and find a way to meet in the middle. If he's got issues about replacing furniture tied up in ideas of self-worth and personal values then he'll need to unpack those in order to understand your point of view. Meanwhile, model being the kind of spouse you want him to be and try to understand why this upsets him so much.

I don't remember an antique side table thread, but if that was you, maybe you are leaving out some details?

In any event, back to my first sentence . . . of course you can end the relationship. If he doesn't value your opinion or strive to make you happy, then it doesn't sound like the relationship for you. Just make sure you're looking at your part in this dance as well.

It is absolutely hilarious that you are talking about *other* people having a lack of self awareness. Holy cow.

I'm not following. You're saying it's materialistic to want a $700 diamond band?

[Anonymous]

You posted this exact same thing a couple years ago. Why are you still with him instead of finding someone else? You could have divorced him and moved on with decent furniture by now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Almost divorced my wife over an argument about the amount of water to put in an ice tray so, yes, you can consider divorce over furniture.

Ok, I’m quite curious what that fight was about!

[Anonymous]

This thread has gone completely off the rails so I’d like to bring us back to what’s important here - the amputee who has to hop over the tub!

[Anonymous]

You can do whatever you like, dear.

[Anonymous]

I’m only responding to OP but …I’m a minimalist and everything your just listed does sound like a waste of money to me. Thankfully I married someone with same mentality so we have a bed a table and chairs and a couch. No side tables no nightstands no blinds or upholstery or whatever that means no dumb pier 1 decor nothing extra. Now, we do go all out on other things but definitely not furniture. I recommend finding out his reasoning and explain your position but I too would find it dumb to spend even 3$ on a side table it’s pointless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I understand what you mean. In my case, the furniture was a huge issue, and it was one of many things that he was ultra controlling about. I decided to take a freelance gig on the side and didn't mention it. I saved up $20k over several months, and spent a large part of that on new furniture. He didn't ask many questions since I was paying for everything. We did eventually divorce due to his controlling nature.

What kind of freelance work did you do?

[Anonymous]

Also …Walmart and target have cute stuff lol sorry to say! Don’t be a boomer pls you can find very nice pieces at these stores just say yes and get the expensive stuff there haha