Sister and her husband nap every time they come over

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a way it’s endearing that they feel so comfortable at the sister’s home to make themselves feel at home enough to seek out couches for napping. It sounds like they relish these naps. It’s their routine for some reason. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this, but they have been doing it for years according to the Op. Why is this now becoming an issue for you, Op?

Exactly this. I find this culture so weird that they’d find napping inconsiderate and unnatural. These people aren’t strangers. Let them be. I wouldnt mind it one bit if my sister or BIL napped at my house. I want them to feel at home. But that’s my culture.

I think it’s rude. You go to someone’s home to enjoy their company, to catch up - not to fall unconscious and make that person feel like they need to be quiet in their own home to make sure you can sleep soundly.

It’s her SISTER. Why are you all so freaking formal with each other even with blood relatives? I don’t get it

Is it a white people thing? It would be very common in my culture where close relatives would feel comfortable enough to nap.

It might be a white people thing, but I’m white and I think the behavior OP describes is beyond weird. When I visit my brother and MIL I often do take naps, but it’s during a visit that is long, like all-day, and DH and the kids are hanging around people. (DH might do it too). And I definitely wouldn’t expect people to be quiet for me.

So you take naps at relatives’ homes even for a 1 day visit- you just happen to think your conditions for it are okay? I mean even your kid could stay up. It’s not weird for you but weird for OP’s sister?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a way it’s endearing that they feel so comfortable at the sister’s home to make themselves feel at home enough to seek out couches for napping. It sounds like they relish these naps. It’s their routine for some reason. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this, but they have been doing it for years according to the Op. Why is this now becoming an issue for you, Op?

Exactly this. I find this culture so weird that they’d find napping inconsiderate and unnatural. These people aren’t strangers. Let them be. I wouldnt mind it one bit if my sister or BIL napped at my house. I want them to feel at home. But that’s my culture.

I think it’s rude. You go to someone’s home to enjoy their company, to catch up - not to fall unconscious and make that person feel like they need to be quiet in their own home to make sure you can sleep soundly.

It’s her SISTER. Why are you all so freaking formal with each other even with blood relatives? I don’t get it

Is it a white people thing? It would be very common in my culture where close relatives would feel comfortable enough to nap.

It might be a white people thing, but I’m white and I think the behavior OP describes is beyond weird. When I visit my brother and MIL I often do take naps, but it’s during a visit that is long, like all-day, and DH and the kids are hanging around people. (DH might do it too). And I definitely wouldn’t expect people to be quiet for me.

So you take naps at relatives’ homes even for a 1 day visit- you just happen to think your conditions for it are okay? I mean even your kid could stay up. It’s not weird for you but weird for OP’s sister?

Yes because I can’t go home and nap because of a) distance and b) I’m with people who are still visiting and I can’t ditch them there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a way it’s endearing that they feel so comfortable at the sister’s home to make themselves feel at home enough to seek out couches for napping. It sounds like they relish these naps. It’s their routine for some reason. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this, but they have been doing it for years according to the Op. Why is this now becoming an issue for you, Op?

Exactly this. I find this culture so weird that they’d find napping inconsiderate and unnatural. These people aren’t strangers. Let them be. I wouldnt mind it one bit if my sister or BIL napped at my house. I want them to feel at home. But that’s my culture.

I think it’s rude. You go to someone’s home to enjoy their company, to catch up - not to fall unconscious and make that person feel like they need to be quiet in their own home to make sure you can sleep soundly.

It’s her SISTER. Why are you all so freaking formal with each other even with blood relatives? I don’t get it

Is it a white people thing? It would be very common in my culture where close relatives would feel comfortable enough to nap.

It might be a white people thing, but I’m white and I think the behavior OP describes is beyond weird. When I visit my brother and MIL I often do take naps, but it’s during a visit that is long, like all-day, and DH and the kids are hanging around people. (DH might do it too). And I definitely wouldn’t expect people to be quiet for me.

So you take naps at relatives’ homes even for a 1 day visit- you just happen to think your conditions for it are okay? I mean even your kid could stay up. It’s not weird for you but weird for OP’s sister?

Yes because I can’t go home and nap because of a) distance and b) I’m with people who are still visiting and I can’t ditch them there.

Listen, I’m very pro sleep (different than pro nap). Your reasons on why your nap is ok and OP’s sister’s nap is weird is not the great difference you seem to think it is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I mean you're the one that keeps doing the same thing over and over again too. Stop inviting them for lunch. Next time say, "hey you guys come over after your afternoon nap. we can go for a walk and play a game."

Good idea

[Anonymous]

I’d let her be but it is completely odd, at least to those living in the US. Typically people do not go to other peoples homes for a short visit to sleep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a way it’s endearing that they feel so comfortable at the sister’s home to make themselves feel at home enough to seek out couches for napping. It sounds like they relish these naps. It’s their routine for some reason. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this, but they have been doing it for years according to the Op. Why is this now becoming an issue for you, Op?

Exactly this. I find this culture so weird that they’d find napping inconsiderate and unnatural. These people aren’t strangers. Let them be. I wouldnt mind it one bit if my sister or BIL napped at my house. I want them to feel at home. But that’s my culture.

I think it’s rude. You go to someone’s home to enjoy their company, to catch up - not to fall unconscious and make that person feel like they need to be quiet in their own home to make sure you can sleep soundly.

It’s her SISTER. Why are you all so freaking formal with each other even with blood relatives? I don’t get it

Is it a white people thing? It would be very common in my culture where close relatives would feel comfortable enough to nap.

It might be a white people thing, but I’m white and I think the behavior OP describes is beyond weird. When I visit my brother and MIL I often do take naps, but it’s during a visit that is long, like all-day, and DH and the kids are hanging around people. (DH might do it too). And I definitely wouldn’t expect people to be quiet for me.

So you take naps at relatives’ homes even for a 1 day visit- you just happen to think your conditions for it are okay? I mean even your kid could stay up. It’s not weird for you but weird for OP’s sister?

Yes because I can’t go home and nap because of a) distance and b) I’m with people who are still visiting and I can’t ditch them there.

Listen, I’m very pro sleep (different than pro nap). Your reasons on why your nap is ok and OP’s sister’s nap is weird is not the great difference you seem to think it is.

Well agree to disagree. I mean, another thing is that my MIL would think I was nuts to go home and sleep when there’s a perfectly good bed in the basement, or to try to stay awake when I’m nodding off during a conversation, and clearly OP doesn’t feel the same way about her guests. So yeah there are pretty good distinctions here but I’d you’re anti-nap in general of course you’re not going to agree.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love napping so much. And I'm an introvert. I would absolutely do this if I were visiting family.

What's so strange to me is how you've decided that something completely innocuous is weird, and you want to punish them for it. I mean, WTH?

I love napping, but I can stay awake when I am a guest in someone’s home.

Yes, but you are at a family member's home, so you are more informal. If I went to my friend's house, I would not nap...except that one very close Jewish friend (happens to be white and from NY) who feeds and feeds and feeds you enormous amounts of food and then invites you to relax on her hammock. I invariably doze off.

[Anonymous]

I have not read the whole thread but this would be very common in Southern European culture to take a siesta after the mid afternoon meal. This is really the norm over there.


Americans have a really high strung out workaholic culture
and unless the nappers are 60 or older most Americans would find the nap thing weird/lazy etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a way it’s endearing that they feel so comfortable at the sister’s home to make themselves feel at home enough to seek out couches for napping. It sounds like they relish these naps. It’s their routine for some reason. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this, but they have been doing it for years according to the Op. Why is this now becoming an issue for you, Op?

Exactly this. I find this culture so weird that they’d find napping inconsiderate and unnatural. These people aren’t strangers. Let them be. I wouldnt mind it one bit if my sister or BIL napped at my house. I want them to feel at home. But that’s my culture.

I think it’s rude. You go to someone’s home to enjoy their company, to catch up - not to fall unconscious and make that person feel like they need to be quiet in their own home to make sure you can sleep soundly.

It’s her SISTER. Why are you all so freaking formal with each other even with blood relatives? I don’t get it

Is it a white people thing? It would be very common in my culture where close relatives would feel comfortable enough to nap.

It might be a white people thing, but I’m white and I think the behavior OP describes is beyond weird. When I visit my brother and MIL I often do take naps, but it’s during a visit that is long, like all-day, and DH and the kids are hanging around people. (DH might do it too). And I definitely wouldn’t expect people to be quiet for me.

So you take naps at relatives’ homes even for a 1 day visit- you just happen to think your conditions for it are okay? I mean even your kid could stay up. It’s not weird for you but weird for OP’s sister?

Yes because I can’t go home and nap because of a) distance and b) I’m with people who are still visiting and I can’t ditch them there.

Listen, I’m very pro sleep (different than pro nap). Your reasons on why your nap is ok and OP’s sister’s nap is weird is not the great difference you seem to think it is.

Well agree to disagree. I mean, another thing is that my MIL would think I was nuts to go home and sleep when there’s a perfectly good bed in the basement, or to try to stay awake when I’m nodding off during a conversation, and clearly OP doesn’t feel the same way about her guests. So yeah there are pretty good distinctions here but I’d you’re anti-nap in general of course you’re not going to agree.

You misunderstand- I think you and OP’s sister are the same. I take issue that you say she’s weird and you’re not. The difference seems to be your MIL and OP or other relatives. No difference in the behavior (napping in relative’s house in the middle of company on a day trip) itself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH often naps after lunch when at his parents or sometimes even at his brothers house. Usually falls asleep on the sofa and MIL makes us all (including 5 young children) be quiet until he wakes up from his nap. Drives me insane.

MIL claims he must need to nap because ‘he works so hard.’ All of us work too and do most of the home/kid management on top of that…. but he’s the golden child of the family.

If you need sleep, why don’t you get it rather than begrudging your husband that time?

Because I’m helping MIL serve meals to and clean up after 6 adults and 5 kids. Then I’m helping keep the kids entertained and supervised after lunch. Not exactly the time for a leisurely nap, in my opinion!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the whole thread but this would be very common in Southern European culture to take a siesta after the mid afternoon meal. This is really the norm over there.


Americans have a really high strung out workaholic culture
and unless the nappers are 60 or older most Americans would find the nap thing weird/lazy etc.

There’s two things going on here - thinking it’s weird to nap daily, and thinking it’s weird to go to someone else’s house to nap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In a way it’s endearing that they feel so comfortable at the sister’s home to make themselves feel at home enough to seek out couches for napping. It sounds like they relish these naps. It’s their routine for some reason. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this, but they have been doing it for years according to the Op. Why is this now becoming an issue for you, Op?

+1 I also think it is endearing that they are comfortable doing this. I also wonder why all of a sudden it has become an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have not read the whole thread but this would be very common in Southern European culture to take a siesta after the mid afternoon meal. This is really the norm over there.


Americans have a really high strung out workaholic culture
and unless the nappers are 60 or older most Americans would find the nap thing weird/lazy etc.

There’s two things going on here - thinking it’s weird to nap daily, and thinking it’s weird to go to someone else’s house to nap.

+1. It’s one thing to take a nice nap over the weekend, its another to insist on napping at someone else’s house during a short visit. If I was so tired that I did not think I could make it through the afternoon without sleeping I would likely not go visit someone.

It actually wouldn’t bother me if someone did this at my home but I would never do it, myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In a way it’s endearing that they feel so comfortable at the sister’s home to make themselves feel at home enough to seek out couches for napping. It sounds like they relish these naps. It’s their routine for some reason. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing this, but they have been doing it for years according to the Op. Why is this now becoming an issue for you, Op?

Exactly this. I find this culture so weird that they’d find napping inconsiderate and unnatural. These people aren’t strangers. Let them be. I wouldnt mind it one bit if my sister or BIL napped at my house. I want them to feel at home. But that’s my culture.

I think it’s rude. You go to someone’s home to enjoy their company, to catch up - not to fall unconscious and make that person feel like they need to be quiet in their own home to make sure you can sleep soundly.

It’s her SISTER. Why are you all so freaking formal with each other even with blood relatives? I don’t get it

Is it a white people thing? It would be very common in my culture where close relatives would feel comfortable enough to nap.

It might be a white people thing, but I’m white and I think the behavior OP describes is beyond weird. When I visit my brother and MIL I often do take naps, but it’s during a visit that is long, like all-day, and DH and the kids are hanging around people. (DH might do it too). And I definitely wouldn’t expect people to be quiet for me.

So you take naps at relatives’ homes even for a 1 day visit- you just happen to think your conditions for it are okay? I mean even your kid could stay up. It’s not weird for you but weird for OP’s sister?

Yes because I can’t go home and nap because of a) distance and b) I’m with people who are still visiting and I can’t ditch them there.

Listen, I’m very pro sleep (different than pro nap). Your reasons on why your nap is ok and OP’s sister’s nap is weird is not the great difference you seem to think it is.

Well agree to disagree. I mean, another thing is that my MIL would think I was nuts to go home and sleep when there’s a perfectly good bed in the basement, or to try to stay awake when I’m nodding off during a conversation, and clearly OP doesn’t feel the same way about her guests. So yeah there are pretty good distinctions here but I’d you’re anti-nap in general of course you’re not going to agree.

You misunderstand- I think you and OP’s sister are the same. I take issue that you say she’s weird and you’re not. The difference seems to be your MIL and OP or other relatives. No difference in the behavior (napping in relative’s house in the middle of company on a day trip) itself.

Okay but I still disagree. Doing it occasionally on a longer visit when you can’t go home to nap and when it’s welcome by the host is different than doing it every time when you’re on a shorter trip and you can go home and isn’t welcome by the host. Plus in my case the hosts are still hosting visitors who are actually visiting. I don’t think what OP’s sister and brother is doing is awful but I do think it’s weirder than what I do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love napping so much. And I'm an introvert. I would absolutely do this if I were visiting family.

What's so strange to me is how you've decided that something completely innocuous is weird, and you want to punish them for it. I mean, WTH?

I love napping, but I can stay awake when I am a guest in someone’s home.

Yes, but you are at a family member's home, so you are more informal. If I went to my friend's house, I would not nap...except that one very close Jewish friend (happens to be white and from NY) who feeds and feeds and feeds you enormous amounts of food and then invites you to relax on her hammock. I invariably doze off.

I would like this friend to be my friend.