Is this “boys will be boys” or an offense?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.

saying he'll break up with her can be considered a threat

That doesn’t make it a crime if a reasonable person would not give in to the threat. Threatening to break up with her is not the same as threatening to kill or maim her. You know that, right?

This is an unfortunate situation but the girl has a role here. She ultimately agreed to have sex whether she really wanted to or not. That agreement = consent. She needs help figuring out why she kept putting herself in this situation of repeatedly going to his house for lunch when she knew what was happening and to agreeing to have sex when she really didn’t want to. Not saying the boy’s behavior is okay here either, but it’s not criminal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.

saying he'll break up with her can be considered a threat

That doesn’t make it a crime if a reasonable person would not give in to the threat. Threatening to break up with her is not the same as threatening to kill or maim her. You know that, right?

This is an unfortunate situation but the girl has a role here. She ultimately agreed to have sex whether she really wanted to or not. That agreement = consent. She needs help figuring out why she kept putting herself in this situation of repeatedly going to his house for lunch when she knew what was happening and to agreeing to have sex when she really didn’t want to. Not saying the boy’s behavior is okay here either, but it’s not criminal.

+100

[Anonymous]

It is criminal in some states, including Virginia, for a 17 year old to have sex with a 14 year old, whether some of you PPD like it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is criminal in some states, including Virginia, for a 17 year old to have sex with a 14 year old, whether some of you PPD like it or not.

Statutory rape is a way for parents to attack their daughter's boyfriend. It's not about a crime against her, it's about a crime against them.

[Anonymous]

There is no state in the US where 14 is the legal age of consent - and there are good reasons for this.

https://www.bhwlawfirm.com/legal-age-consent-united-states-map/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.

saying he'll break up with her can be considered a threat

That doesn’t make it a crime if a reasonable person would not give in to the threat. Threatening to break up with her is not the same as threatening to kill or maim her. You know that, right?

This is an unfortunate situation but the girl has a role here. She ultimately agreed to have sex whether she really wanted to or not. That agreement = consent. She needs help figuring out why she kept putting herself in this situation of repeatedly going to his house for lunch when she knew what was happening and to agreeing to have sex when she really didn’t want to. Not saying the boy’s behavior is okay here either, but it’s not criminal.

It is a crime in most states. The boy was too old for meeting the Romeo and Juliette law criteria

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.

saying he'll break up with her can be considered a threat

That doesn’t make it a crime if a reasonable person would not give in to the threat. Threatening to break up with her is not the same as threatening to kill or maim her. You know that, right?

This is an unfortunate situation but the girl has a role here. She ultimately agreed to have sex whether she really wanted to or not. That agreement = consent. She needs help figuring out why she kept putting herself in this situation of repeatedly going to his house for lunch when she knew what was happening and to agreeing to have sex when she really didn’t want to. Not saying the boy’s behavior is okay here either, but it’s not criminal.

It actually is criminal and she is suffering. She was 14 and below the age of legal consent in every single US state. He was 4 grades higher at school and close to legal adulthood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.

saying he'll break up with her can be considered a threat

That doesn’t make it a crime if a reasonable person would not give in to the threat. Threatening to break up with her is not the same as threatening to kill or maim her. You know that, right?

This is an unfortunate situation but the girl has a role here. She ultimately agreed to have sex whether she really wanted to or not. That agreement = consent. She needs help figuring out why she kept putting herself in this situation of repeatedly going to his house for lunch when she knew what was happening and to agreeing to have sex when she really didn’t want to. Not saying the boy’s behavior is okay here either, but it’s not criminal.

It actually is criminal and she is suffering. She was 14 and below the age of legal consent in every single US state. He was 4 grades higher at school and close to legal adulthood.

He was in college? That’s 4 grades higher. It won’t be prosecuted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not all asshole behavior is a crime.

This boyfriend sounds like a tool but come on, saying “I’ll break up with you if you don’t have sex with me” is not rape. If she had been a little older and wiser she probably would have seen this for the red flag that it is. He was selfish. He sounds like a crappy boyfriend and not a great person. That doesn’t make him a rapist though.

I hope your niece gets help and I hope she stays away from the jerk guys in the future.

saying he'll break up with her can be considered a threat

That doesn’t make it a crime if a reasonable person would not give in to the threat. Threatening to break up with her is not the same as threatening to kill or maim her. You know that, right?

This is an unfortunate situation but the girl has a role here. She ultimately agreed to have sex whether she really wanted to or not. That agreement = consent. She needs help figuring out why she kept putting herself in this situation of repeatedly going to his house for lunch when she knew what was happening and to agreeing to have sex when she really didn’t want to. Not saying the boy’s behavior is okay here either, but it’s not criminal.

It actually is criminal and she is suffering. She was 14 and below the age of legal consent in every single US state. He was 4 grades higher at school and close to legal adulthood.

He was in college? That’s 4 grades higher. It won’t be prosecuted.

It won’t be prosecuted if the family chooses not to press charges but if they do then they have a strong case.

She was below the age of consent in every single US state. He was at age of consent in most US states.

Demonstrable harm to victim since repeated rapes, and they can be legally
Treated as rapes since she was below age of consent.

It comes down to what is in the best interests of the victim. If she and her family want to fight, they have a strong case.

[Anonymous]

So she snuck around, slept with her boyfriend and hid it from her parents, and told her aunt when he broke up with her to go to college.

The aunt's role is to offer her a shoulder to cry on. Her role is to learn from the experience.

Do the parents even know about any of this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So she snuck around, slept with her boyfriend and hid it from her parents, and told her aunt when he broke up with her to go to college.

The aunt's role is to offer her a shoulder to cry on. Her role is to learn from the experience.

Do the parents even know about any of this?

What part of 14 do you fail to understand ? Did you have good judgment at 14? I sure did not.

She was almost a child. I am sure the parents of full of shame as they would not have known.

The boy picked her up and drove her to his house regularly without her parents permission. He was of legal age and she was not.

If the parents want to press charges they have a strong case. They need to consult with experts as to what would be in the best interests of the victim.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she snuck around, slept with her boyfriend and hid it from her parents, and told her aunt when he broke up with her to go to college.

The aunt's role is to offer her a shoulder to cry on. Her role is to learn from the experience.

Do the parents even know about any of this?

What part of 14 do you fail to understand ? Did you have good judgment at 14? I sure did not.

She was almost a child. I am sure the parents of full of shame as they would not have known.

The boy picked her up and drove her to his house regularly without her parents permission. He was of legal age and she was not.

If the parents want to press charges they have a strong case. They need to consult with experts as to what would be in the best interests of the victim.

She's not a victim. She made some bad decisions and now she's dealing with the consequences.

Her parents should know that she's struggling and cutting, if they don't already know, and get her some counseling. Therapy may or may not help but it's the appropriate step for the parents to take next.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So she snuck around, slept with her boyfriend and hid it from her parents, and told her aunt when he broke up with her to go to college.

The aunt's role is to offer her a shoulder to cry on. Her role is to learn from the experience.

Do the parents even know about any of this?

What part of 14 do you fail to understand ? Did you have good judgment at 14? I sure did not.

She was almost a child. I am sure the parents of full of shame as they would not have known.

The boy picked her up and drove her to his house regularly without her parents permission. He was of legal age and she was not.

If the parents want to press charges they have a strong case. They need to consult with experts as to what would be in the best interests of the victim.

She's not a victim. She made some bad decisions and now she's dealing with the consequences.

Her parents should know that she's struggling and cutting, if they don't already know, and get her some counseling. Therapy may or may not help but it's the appropriate step for the parents to take next.

She is a victim. She was 14 and no where close to legal age of consent in any US state.

He was of legal age and taking her away from school grounds durinf school day without her parents knowledge or permission. She was too young to resist his pressure.

I would press charges if she were my daughter.

[Anonymous]

if she was beneath the age of consent at the time, it is an offense. Report it. If she was of legal age, it is just despicable behavior on his part but not an offense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if she was beneath the age of consent at the time, it is an offense. Report it. If she was of legal age, it is just despicable behavior on his part but not an offense.

.

She was below age of consent in every single US state.