Would you marry someone whose parents are divorced?

[Anonymous]

Amicable divorce is better than sociopathic MILs.

[Anonymous]

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I would rather marry someone whose parents are divorced than someone whose parents stayed together but were miserable. Divorce is not a failure. Why stay with someone if it isn't working out?

+1. As the child of an alcoholic parent and a verbally abusive parent, it served no societal good for two people to remain in an absolutely miserable marriage.

Having an alcoholic parent is a big red flag.

I am the former pp. It sounds like you are blaming the kid for having an alcoholic parent...which is pretty crappy. You can't choose your parents, you do know that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Amicable divorce is better than sociopathic MILs.

Or alcoloholic Jerk of a FIl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:?

I would rather marry someone whose parents are divorced than someone whose parents stayed together but were miserable. Divorce is not a failure. Why stay with someone if it isn't working out?

+1. As the child of an alcoholic parent and a verbally abusive parent, it served no societal good for two people to remain in an absolutely miserable marriage.

Having an alcoholic parent is a big red flag.

I am the former pp. It sounds like you are blaming the kid for having an alcoholic parent...which is pretty crappy. You can't choose your parents, you do know that?

I’m a DP but I don’t think it’s about blame, per se. It’s about the knowledge— borne out by studies— that certain traits tend to run in families. We talk about cycles of abuse. We know that women in particular are often blamed for their choices of partners if they marry abusers, alcoholics, addicts. Therefore we do well to consider the reality of the totality of the people we (or our children) marry.

[Anonymous]

Being divorced might be a failure of marriage, however being miserable and married is a failure at life.

You only get one life. I refuse to be miserable, sad or angry.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Being divorced might be a failure of marriage, however being miserable and married is a failure at life.

You only get one life. I refuse to be miserable, sad or angry.

Ha this is my new motto. I love it so so much.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It would give me pause. I am in my late 30s and have 4 close friends who have already divorced. In 3 out of 4 of those cases, the person asking for the divorce has divorced parents. The outlier has parents who are still married but went through multiple separations when the family was young.

I agree. I think the more that divorce is normalized growing up, the more likely someone will turn to it.

'

Divorce is not a sign of failure and there is nothing wrong with it.

Regular people think a successful marriage is one that never ends. That mindset is a problem in it self.

You're an idiot. Please don't get married. Enjoy a long-term, non binding relationship. Ever heard of "til death do we part"?

I don't see divorcees as FAILURES, but their marriage, by definition, failed.

Sometimes the marriage failed. Sometimes the marriage was right for the couple when they were 20 and 30 and 40, but isn't right as they move into middle age. That's not a failure. It's just growing up. If you succesffully lived together for 20 years, you were successful for 20 years. "Until death do us part" is unrealistic for people who get married in their 20s or 30s and live until they are 80+

Sometimes the marriage was a mistake and never right from day one and people stay for YEARS or a DECADE or more becaues of the stigma of divorce and the stupid "try to make it work." When there is nothing there, there is no reason to stay. Not divorcing immediately destroyed my life. I am so sick of people trying to define marriage and divorce. The word "successful" should never come into play when describing either.

Why? Because you weren’t strong enough to accept a failure, dust yourself off and move on we should all pretend there are successful and unsuccessful marriages?

Divorce is a failure even if it was the right decision because the bad decision of marriage (to that person ) was not foreseen and avoided. Doesn’t make the divorcees bad people or globally failures. We all fail in life sometimes. No one is perfect and no life is perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a child of divorced parents, if someone's going to judge me for something I couldn't control, rather than how I dealt with that event, I have zero interest in marrying them. So, there's that.

My parents aren't divorced and I agree with you absolutely! This is the correct answer.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:It would give me pause. I am in my late 30s and have 4 close friends who have already divorced. In 3 out of 4 of those cases, the person asking for the divorce has divorced parents. The outlier has parents who are still married but went through multiple separations when the family was young.

I agree. I think the more that divorce is normalized growing up, the more likely someone will turn to it.

'

Divorce is not a sign of failure and there is nothing wrong with it.

Regular people think a successful marriage is one that never ends. That mindset is a problem in it self.

You're an idiot. Please don't get married. Enjoy a long-term, non binding relationship. Ever heard of "til death do we part"?

I don't see divorcees as FAILURES, but their marriage, by definition, failed.

Sometimes the marriage failed. Sometimes the marriage was right for the couple when they were 20 and 30 and 40, but isn't right as they move into middle age. That's not a failure. It's just growing up. If you succesffully lived together for 20 years, you were successful for 20 years. "Until death do us part" is unrealistic for people who get married in their 20s or 30s and live until they are 80+

Sometimes the marriage was a mistake and never right from day one and people stay for YEARS or a DECADE or more becaues of the stigma of divorce and the stupid "try to make it work." When there is nothing there, there is no reason to stay. Not divorcing immediately destroyed my life. I am so sick of people trying to define marriage and divorce. The word "successful" should never come into play when describing either.

Why? Because you weren’t strong enough to accept a failure, dust yourself off and move on we should all pretend there are successful and unsuccessful marriages?

Divorce is a failure even if it was the right decision because the bad decision of marriage (to that person ) was not foreseen and avoided. Doesn’t make the divorcees bad people or globally failures. We all fail in life sometimes. No one is perfect and no life is perfect.

Marriage is not success. You don't know the details of a marriage.
Divorce is not a failure.
Marriage can be a failure.
Divorce can be a success.

"Success" does not belong with either word because there are too many variables. Staying married is not a successful marriage...that is what you are implying when you are a calling divorce "a failure." On the contrary, I had the courage to get out of a bad situation which many people would have stayed for appearances....that is a resounding success and the opposite of failure. No one cares what your 1800s brain thinks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a child of divorced parents, if someone's going to judge me for something I couldn't control, rather than how I dealt with that event, I have zero interest in marrying them. So, there's that.

My parents aren't divorced and I agree with you absolutely! This is the correct answer.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It would give me pause. I am in my late 30s and have 4 close friends who have already divorced. In 3 out of 4 of those cases, the person asking for the divorce has divorced parents. The outlier has parents who are still married but went through multiple separations when the family was young.

I agree. I think the more that divorce is normalized growing up, the more likely someone will turn to it.

'

Divorce is not a sign of failure and there is nothing wrong with it.

Regular people think a successful marriage is one that never ends. That mindset is a problem in it self.

You're an idiot. Please don't get married. Enjoy a long-term, non binding relationship. Ever heard of "til death do we part"?

I don't see divorcees as FAILURES, but their marriage, by definition, failed.

Sometimes the marriage failed. Sometimes the marriage was right for the couple when they were 20 and 30 and 40, but isn't right as they move into middle age. That's not a failure. It's just growing up. If you succesffully lived together for 20 years, you were successful for 20 years. "Until death do us part" is unrealistic for people who get married in their 20s or 30s and live until they are 80+

Sometimes the marriage was a mistake and never right from day one and people stay for YEARS or a DECADE or more becaues of the stigma of divorce and the stupid "try to make it work." When there is nothing there, there is no reason to stay. Not divorcing immediately destroyed my life. I am so sick of people trying to define marriage and divorce. The word "successful" should never come into play when describing either.

Why? Because you weren’t strong enough to accept a failure, dust yourself off and move on we should all pretend there are successful and unsuccessful marriages?

Divorce is a failure even if it was the right decision because the bad decision of marriage (to that person ) was not foreseen and avoided. Doesn’t make the divorcees bad people or globally failures. We all fail in life sometimes. No one is perfect and no life is perfect.

Marriage is not success. You don't know the details of a marriage.
Divorce is not a failure.
Marriage can be a failure.
Divorce can be a success.

"Success" does not belong with either word because there are too many variables. Staying married is not a successful marriage...that is what you are implying when you are a calling divorce "a failure." On the contrary, I had the courage to get out of a bad situation which many people would have stayed for appearances....that is a resounding success and the opposite of failure. No one cares what your 1800s brain thinks.

I’m not the poster you’re quoting. But I don’t think divorce is a failure, I think it’s often the best possible outcome for a marriage— I am confident it saves women’s lives. I would still consider the statistics before marrying someone who was a child of divorced parents, though, because there are correlations with their probability of divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would give me pause. I am in my late 30s and have 4 close friends who have already divorced. In 3 out of 4 of those cases, the person asking for the divorce has divorced parents. The outlier has parents who are still married but went through multiple separations when the family was young.

I agree. I think the more that divorce is normalized growing up, the more likely someone will turn to it.

'

Divorce is not a sign of failure and there is nothing wrong with it.

Regular people think a successful marriage is one that never ends. That mindset is a problem in it self.

You're an idiot. Please don't get married. Enjoy a long-term, non binding relationship. Ever heard of "til death do we part"?

I don't see divorcees as FAILURES, but their marriage, by definition, failed.

Sometimes the marriage failed. Sometimes the marriage was right for the couple when they were 20 and 30 and 40, but isn't right as they move into middle age. That's not a failure. It's just growing up. If you succesffully lived together for 20 years, you were successful for 20 years. "Until death do us part" is unrealistic for people who get married in their 20s or 30s and live until they are 80+

BOOM!!!!!!

Especially in this day and age where people are living much longer and technology plays an immense roe in ours lives[b].

Such wives on instagram, facebook, twitter, etc. developing unreal expectations about what their husbands income must be and concluding that they can do better which leads them to cheating and divorce? Yes, women cheat. Self reported studies show that women cheat almost as much as men. Also, as a divorce lawyer I can tell you women cheat just as much as men. Also, people are not marrying in their 20s much these days. The average age for marriage is early 30s. You should have yourself figured out by then. I can't tell you the number of divorces I've done where the wife argued emotional neglect/abuse but interestingly the divorce happened right after he lost his job or right after she got a better job. Its disgusting to perpetuate the myth that divorce only happens because men cheat and that wives are innocent. It simply isn't the case.

FaceBook should be known as “Envy Book.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a child of divorced parents, if someone's going to judge me for something I couldn't control, rather than how I dealt with that event, I have zero interest in marrying them. So, there's that.

Yeah. I can see your point of view. And honor you for it. But I would still not want my kid to marry a child of divorce. That being said, you may end up as my dil or sil because I have about as much control over who my child marries as I have over who you marry

[Anonymous]

Is this a real question? What type of person asks this question? It's probably best for you to stay out of dating pool. This isn't 1956.

Here's a question- how many people had parents who stayed together because they had to for sociological/economic reasons? Somehow that's better, right?

[Anonymous]

I think we need to understand what marriage is and not the fantasy people make it out to be. To death dobus part is not reasonable for anyone. Marriage isn't what it was 30 years ago, or 50 years ago. It's a whole new paradigm.