Men, would you date or marry someone considered fat?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should if you like her. But, she should not be with you bc you are unable to overcome societal negativity and pressure around someone “considered fat.”

If I’m being completely honest, societal pressure has zero to do with who I’m attracted to and who I’ll date. I can’t emphasize this enough. I date who I’m attracted to - much the same as women.

I’m also in the “lid for every pot” camp. Some of our friends are definitely what you’d describe as fat (I personally don’t think about it) and have a very happy marriage.

I dont believe this. So many men are easily influenced, but they all want to believe their mavericks who think for themselves. I dated a very powerful/well known man in my city and it was amazing how much more male attention I got afterwards. Suddenly men were coming out of the woodwork after we broke up, all because I had some kind of new status or social clout since such a powerful man had wanted me. It was really a turn off. Men who were quiet before were suddenly all over me, because of the social status.

I'm not fat but I have no doubt there are many men attracted to fat women who dont come forward because most men are cowards and extremely concerned/preoccupied with what their friends will say. Many men are essentially social golddiggers, looking to use a woman for clout and social recognition

It's much easier for you to believe in this huge conspiracy than to accept that men just might not be attracted to you or very overweight women. Interesting.

Well, men are very attracted to me, or did you not read my post at all? What a bizarre comment that has nothing to do with what I said. Anyway...

I have heard some fat women say (and maybe on this thread, I haven’t read all the comments) that they date and then marry very desirable (and conventionally attractive men) because dating a conventionally attractive woman affords a man social status. Extremely desirable men don’t need that extra social status, but men who are less attractive, make less money, don’t have awesome personalities etc can’t afford the hit in social capital that comes from dating somebody who is overweight. I don’t actually know anybody like this IRL (I don’t actually know that many *extremely* desirable men IRL; DH is desirable but he’s short) but I do see it online.

I think that's probably true. I am the PP of that post and the man who had "high status" who I was speaking about was extremely attractive and known as the guy who could have anyone he wanted. I was a slim weight, so not relevant in the sense of weight, but I guess something interesting is he actually encouraged me to gain weight and preferred me a higher weight. but anyway, my point is that he had no concern for the social thoughts of others, which was why he kind of singled me out when I didn't have a lot of status compared to him. Afterwards, lots of less desirable men came out of the woodwork like cockroaches, presumably because I was now a "status symbol" because I dated him. Actually several of the men directly brought up my ex by name so I know for a fact that his relationship with me was very exciting for them and it WAS a factor.

This series of events totally woke me up to how many men are easily influenced and socially susceptible. Women are stereotype about caring more what their friends think, but I find it's the opposite. Most men are incredible status conscious. I have no doubt in my mind that, had this whole thing been applied to weight, the original high status guy, who was very attractive, wouldn't have minded, and the low status guys would have. So I dont believe men when they say they dont like larger women. BBW porn is just too popular.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I have heard some fat women say (and maybe on this thread, I haven’t read all the comments) that they date and then marry very desirable (and conventionally attractive men) because dating a conventionally attractive woman affords a man social status. Extremely desirable men don’t need that extra social status, but men who are less attractive, make less money, don’t have awesome personalities etc can’t afford the hit in social capital that comes from dating somebody who is overweight

File under: huge cope

Very desirable men have very desirable women throwing themselves at them, they don’t need to settle for a fatty.

Nah, I don't think that's it. These women don't care what these obnoxious men with a chip on their shoulder think about them. (And it's really not about me; I'm not super thin but as a size 2 I don't think I'm fat either.)

[Anonymous]

I think we need to be clear that men commenting here are not those "highly desirable" partners we are talking about. Sorry but the mere fact that you are a man commenting on an anonymous forum on the internet about fat women takes you out of that category. (And yes it takes me out of the "highly desirable women" category too)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we need to be clear that men commenting here are not those "highly desirable" partners we are talking about. Sorry but the mere fact that you are a man commenting on an anonymous forum on the internet about fat women takes you out of that category. (And yes it takes me out of the "highly desirable women" category too)

Exactly. I'm also very thin and any man bashing "fatties" on an anonymous mommy forum is the definition of low value and no high value woman would want anything to do with them. We women are trying to figure out what the DESIRABLE men want, not the losers and leftovers.

[Anonymous]

Black and Hispanic men are more likely to date someone heavier or fat than someone skinny or thin. They don't generally find thin to be too attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we need to be clear that men commenting here are not those "highly desirable" partners we are talking about. Sorry but the mere fact that you are a man commenting on an anonymous forum on the internet about fat women takes you out of that category. (And yes it takes me out of the "highly desirable women" category too)

Exactly. I'm also very thin and any man bashing "fatties" on an anonymous mommy forum is the definition of low value and no high value woman would want anything to do with them. We women are trying to figure out what the DESIRABLE men want, not the losers and leftovers.

So any man who comments here should automatically be ignored? Yeah, whatever, keep drinking your own delusional bathwater then.

I'm a high value man. No, I don't care if you believe it or not. Neither I nor any of my peers is married to a fatty. If you want a desirable man, lose weight. It's about that simple.

[Anonymous]

Date, as in sleep with? Maybe.
But date as in an ongoing steady romantic relationship? No.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we need to be clear that men commenting here are not those "highly desirable" partners we are talking about. Sorry but the mere fact that you are a man commenting on an anonymous forum on the internet about fat women takes you out of that category. (And yes it takes me out of the "highly desirable women" category too)

Exactly. I'm also very thin and any man bashing "fatties" on an anonymous mommy forum is the definition of low value and no high value woman would want anything to do with them. We women are trying to figure out what the DESIRABLE men want, not the losers and leftovers.

So any man who comments here should automatically be ignored? Yeah, whatever, keep drinking your own delusional bathwater then.

I'm a high value man. No, I don't care if you believe it or not. Neither I nor any of my peers is married to a fatty. If you want a desirable man, lose weight. It's about that simple.

I don’t think you should be ignored, I’m just not including you when I talk about men who are in the “highly desirable” category. It’s 7PM on a Friday night and you’re calling people fatties on the internet. I’m sure there are people out there who desire you but you’re not top tier.

[Anonymous]

I like some fat on women. I actually visualize Sarah Jessica Parker whenever I have to slow down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Of course you should if you like her. But, she should not be with you bc you are unable to overcome societal negativity and pressure around someone “considered fat.”

If I’m being completely honest, societal pressure has zero to do with who I’m attracted to and who I’ll date. I can’t emphasize this enough. I date who I’m attracted to - much the same as women.

I’m also in the “lid for every pot” camp. Some of our friends are definitely what you’d describe as fat (I personally don’t think about it) and have a very happy marriage.

I dont believe this. So many men are easily influenced, but they all want to believe their mavericks who think for themselves. I dated a very powerful/well known man in my city and it was amazing how much more male attention I got afterwards. Suddenly men were coming out of the woodwork after we broke up, all because I had some kind of new status or social clout since such a powerful man had wanted me. It was really a turn off. Men who were quiet before were suddenly all over me, because of the social status.

I'm not fat but I have no doubt there are many men attracted to fat women who dont come forward because most men are cowards and extremely concerned/preoccupied with what their friends will say. Many men are essentially social golddiggers, looking to use a woman for clout and social recognition

It's much easier for you to believe in this huge conspiracy than to accept that men just might not be attracted to you or very overweight women. Interesting.

Well, men are very attracted to me, or did you not read my post at all? What a bizarre comment that has nothing to do with what I said. Anyway...

I have heard some fat women say (and maybe on this thread, I haven’t read all the comments) that they date and then marry very desirable (and conventionally attractive men) because dating a conventionally attractive woman affords a man social status. Extremely desirable men don’t need that extra social status, but men who are less attractive, make less money, don’t have awesome personalities etc can’t afford the hit in social capital that comes from dating somebody who is overweight. I don’t actually know anybody like this IRL (I don’t actually know that many *extremely* desirable men IRL; DH is desirable but he’s short) but I do see it online.

I think that's probably true. I am the PP of that post and the man who had "high status" who I was speaking about was extremely attractive and known as the guy who could have anyone he wanted. I was a slim weight, so not relevant in the sense of weight, but I guess something interesting is he actually encouraged me to gain weight and preferred me a higher weight. but anyway, my point is that he had no concern for the social thoughts of others, which was why he kind of singled me out when I didn't have a lot of status compared to him. Afterwards, lots of less desirable men came out of the woodwork like cockroaches, presumably because I was now a "status symbol" because I dated him. Actually several of the men directly brought up my ex by name so I know for a fact that his relationship with me was very exciting for them and it WAS a factor.

This series of events totally woke me up to how many men are easily influenced and socially susceptible. Women are stereotype about caring more what their friends think, but I find it's the opposite. Most men are incredible status conscious. I have no doubt in my mind that, had this whole thing been applied to weight, the original high status guy, who was very attractive, wouldn't have minded, and the low status guys would have. So I dont believe men when they say they dont like larger women. BBW porn is just too popular.

Fact. Men are easily influenced by others. They are the weaker most emotional sex. They will have sex with a fat woman they said was repulsive to their friends at the drop of a hat and may even go on to build a relationship with a fat woman. They are good liars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Yep, because the point is men are very easily socially influenced. And their so called "innate desire" fluctuates wildly based on a woman's social status and social desirability.

You’re making stuff up. I married a woman without social status. Because she was hot, fun, and she wanted to have sex with me frequently.

Hot as in hot to you but fat to us?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This topic has come up in another group I am in, and the men all say they don't care about a woman's weight. These are men from outside DC and across the country.

Simps gonna simp.

I think it is more likely that they aren't the usual DCUM assholes. I mean, look at this thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Yep, because the point is men are very easily socially influenced. And their so called "innate desire" fluctuates wildly based on a woman's social status and social desirability.

You’re making stuff up. I married a woman without social status. Because she was hot, fun, and she wanted to have sex with me frequently.

Hot as in hot to you but fat to us?

Hot to me. Her “social status” and anything else people might think of her or me were irrelevant.

[Anonymous]

She would have to make up in other areas.

[Anonymous]

If she was willing to give it up on demand and any hole, sure.