Mother’s Last Name as Baby’s Second Middle Name

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why get so precious?
Regardless, feminist women are kidding themselves with “keeping their names.” We have a patriarchal naming system, so if anything, you are just keeping and “passing on” your DAD’s name.

Seriously, it’s one dude’s name or another (your husband’s or your dad’s!)

This is such a tired argument. The name I was born with is my name; I've had it my whole life as a person, including when I was adult enough to decide to get married. Why is it only my dad's name?

Is your 2nd middle name your mom's maiden name? If not, why saddle your kid with extra names? The name given at birth will be their name their whole life, not just their dad's name.

Yes, my 2nd middle name is my mother's maiden name. It's never been a problem, but I travel in fairly international circles. My kids have 4 names, and yes, it works for us. What is the problem? I literally don't understand your point.

Because whatever name you give the kid is "their" name. One middle, 2, none, whatever. Your argument makes no sense.

The person you are quoting here. I re-read your first message about how whatever name they chose will be their name their whole life, not just their dad's name. I couldn't agree more; that's why when I didn't change my name upon marriage I had zero issues with the fact that it was originally my dad's name-- it was my name, too.

At the same time, perhaps in large part because I didn't change my name upon marriage (and I will point out - neither did my DH), and because their last name was going to be my husband's last name, I wanted my last name in my kids' names somewhere, too. So, we gave them 4 names in total.

To me, it's been a complete non-issue. We travel a LOT - multiple passports on both sides. 4 kids; no issues whatsoever.

Sorry, it's been a complete non-issue outside what DCUM has told me in terms of it will be a bureaucratic disaster. It's never, ever been an issue. Sometimes people assume we are Latin and then they think that my last name is actually their "real" last name, but that is once or twice and I don't think it's terrible personally. Some men might feel threatened by that, I suppose, but thankfully I am not married to someone who would be. For what it's worth, it's also never been an issue as far as I am aware that I have a different last name than my husband other on DCUM, but again I am totally happy with that. if anything, it points out that we are not lemmings and if anyone has a problem with my different last name, I would totally be fine not being close to those people.

I think the world is going to only become more global and less sexist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had 4 names in my home country, which included my mom's maiden name.

I tried to do that with my kids here. Submitted 4 names on the form at the hospital... and they deleted my maiden name since it only had room for 3.

I don’t believe you. Either this happened 50 years ago through sheer incompetence or you’re making it up. I gave my children 4 names without issue and know countless others who have done the same.

+1. This cannot be true.

[Anonymous]

I have a long, "ethnic" name that is hard for people to pronounce and at times too long for forms. You know what? It's really, really not a big deal. According to logic on here, some people would have said I should make my name more "american." I Don't agree.

[Anonymous]

I think it sounds fabulous! I vote for yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My children have four names - with my last name as a second middle name. No issue with forms/IDs. The oldest uses first and last name on most things (work, Linkedin, etc), but has/had all four on things like diplomas. The second uses the initials of both middle names - again no issues. We'll see what the third will do (still in high school)>
On the other hand, a few of my nieces/nephews have hyphenated names and have run into problems with "official forms" with the hyphen being left out.
DW and I didn't hyphenate our children's because of the length of the surnames (one is two syllables, the other three). Regardless, we are naming our children not future generations. Among our nieces and nephews one has given his children his hyphenated surname name, another one only one of the surnames from his parents, and a third is using part of her birth surname and her husband's surname. So the naming convention is all over the map in our extended family.

This. I've seen more issues/annoyance from children with hyphenated last names, which is why I think using the mother's last name as the second middle name is the better route (but of course to each their own).

[Anonymous]

My concern about hyphenating my DD’s last name was that it could create issues for her later in life, for instance if she got married. If she already has a hyphenated name, it would be harder for her and her spouse to hyphenate their names if they chose. I’ve also met people who chose to blend their last names (not hyphenated but combining their names into a new, single word name for the whole family) and hyphenation challenges that.

Hyphenation is unwieldy, so to me it made more sense to give her both our names but as stand alone names. My DH’s name is her last name, but that choice wasn’t automatic. We discussed both options but the deciding factor for me was that she is the lone grandchild on my DH’s side (and he’s an only) whereas I have many nieces and nephews with my last name. So it was a bit if a gesture to my ILs. Which of course they didn’t appreciate because they never realized we could have chosen differently. But that’s on them for being narrow.

Names are so hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kept my last name after marrying DH. We’re expecting our first baby now. I’m considering having my last name (one syllable) as a second middle name for the baby. That way, my last name would be part of baby’s official name without dealing with having a hyphenated last name (I don’t want to go the hyphenated last name route). I’d like to keep the first middle name short with a one syllable name as well. Thoughts? Is it a hassle having two middle names?

We did this for both of our kids. It’s truly no big deal. Never been a hassle.

My siblings and I also all have 2 middle names with our mothers last name as the 2nd middle too so I guess we’re carrying on a family tradition at this point.

We did this too without any issues. Kids are older teens now. I kind of wished we switched for my younger child to have my last name and Dad's as second middle. Older DD has a first name from my ethnic background and combined with WASPy last name is interesting. DS has a WASPy first name and just sounds very generic and white for a half-brown child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I kept my last name after marrying DH. We’re expecting our first baby now. I’m considering having my last name (one syllable) as a second middle name for the baby. That way, my last name would be part of baby’s official name without dealing with having a hyphenated last name (I don’t want to go the hyphenated last name route). I’d like to keep the first middle name short with a one syllable name as well. Thoughts? Is it a hassle having two middle names?

We did this for both of our kids. It’s truly no big deal. Never been a hassle.

My siblings and I also all have 2 middle names with our mothers last name as the 2nd middle too so I guess we’re carrying on a family tradition at this point.

We did this too without any issues. Kids are older teens now. I kind of wished we switched for my younger child to have my last name and Dad's as second middle. Older DD has a first name from my ethnic background and combined with WASPy last name is interesting. DS has a WASPy first name and just sounds very generic and white for a half-brown child.

We were considering switching for a second child but ended up with only one.

[Anonymous]

My brother and I had our mother's last name as our middle name. As others having said, having two middle names can be confusing - you need to choose which name to put on forms, some may think that the name is hyphenated, etc. The upside of having two middle names is that you get to have a traditional middle name like Jane or Mary or Katherine, which is fun. I always hated having to explain to everyone as a kid why my middle name wasn't "Elizabeth" or "Mary" and instead was a last name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My brother and I had our mother's last name as our middle name. As others having said, having two middle names can be confusing - you need to choose which name to put on forms, some may think that the name is hyphenated, etc. The upside of having two middle names is that you get to have a traditional middle name like Jane or Mary or Katherine, which is fun. I always hated having to explain to everyone as a kid why my middle name wasn't "Elizabeth" or "Mary" and instead was a last name.

Don’t you think it’s so common for kids to have a family last name as a middle name these days though?

My kids have other family surnames as their middle name. It’s cool and it keeps the family name in circulation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We had 4 names in my home country, which included my mom's maiden name.

I tried to do that with my kids here. Submitted 4 names on the form at the hospital... and they deleted my maiden name since it only had room for 3.

I don’t believe you. Either this happened 50 years ago through sheer incompetence or you’re making it up. I gave my children 4 names without issue and know countless others who have done the same.

My grandparents had no probablem giving my mother 4 names . . . 70 years ago. And all three of my children have 4 names, as well.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has four names. I like all four and it hasn't been an issue yet (we just pick a middle if there's only space for one on a form), but in hindsight I'd just give her my last name as her only middle. It's so rarely used and gets dropped so often that it doesn't seem "worth it." If I had a strong connection to the first middle name, maybe I'd feel differently. But as it is, if she wants to drop it in the future, I won't get my feelings hurt!

[Anonymous]

4 names is a bit precious. Firstname Parent1LastName Parent2LastName is what I would do.

[Anonymous]

My children have: firstname, middlename, then two UNHYPHENATED last names. Mine then my husband's. A total of four names, but the last two are used as the last name, just without the hyphen. It hasn't been an issue on any forms, in school, etc.

[Anonymous]

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-10039099/Melanie-Griffith-Antonio-Banderas-daughter-files-Griffith-removed-name.html

Daughter of Melanie Griffith and Antonio Banderas files to drop her superfluous extra name (Griffith).