Mother’s Last Name as Baby’s Second Middle Name

[Anonymous]

OP, I would just use your last name as the kid's middle name, make things less complicated for the child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just do one middle name

+1

No one wants FOUR names. No one. It looks and sounds dumb.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I gave myself 2 middle names when I got married, but forms never have room for 2 middle names. It’s kind of meaningless. Plus, I know some people use their kids’ middle names (like, “come here, Sally Mae!”), but I have never once used my kids’ middle names except in official forms. I can’t even imagine how a second middle name would even factor into their lives.

+1. I hate 2 middle names. Please avoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did this and as the kids are near adults I am so glad that I did. They like it too (they have told me). We actually did four names: First Middle MyLastName HisLastName.

Thanks! OP here. That’s helpful to hear. And they didn’t have any issues with filling out forms and such?

Don't forget the hyphen! DS at college, and it's such a pain in the butt.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why get so precious?
Regardless, feminist women are kidding themselves with “keeping their names.” We have a patriarchal naming system, so if anything, you are just keeping and “passing on” your DAD’s name.

Seriously, it’s one dude’s name or another (your husband’s or your dad’s!)

The name I received at birth is every bit as meaningful as the name my husband received at birth. The argument above is based on gross biases or lack of critical thinking skills.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't do it. My last name is my son's middle and it works out perfectly.

The problem for my son is the ' in is last name for O'Reilly. Co.puters hate it so much son has even dropped the ' from his signature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents did what you're describing OP. To be honest I don't love it - it doesn't fit on most forms and can be confusing what my actual legal name is. That being said, mine is a very long and hard to pronounce name so if yours is one syllable as you say it may be better. I would have preferred my parents just dropped my "first" middle name and named me FIRSTNAME MOMSLASTNAME DADSLASTNAME.

I posted the above and after seeing this thread take off I'm pretty sure I'm the only person with this name situation who has responded? I wouldn't tell my parents that I hate having the extra name-- it would make them feel bad, but it is really annoying and inconvenient. It is normal in some cultures but it isn't in ours and it makes every legal form difficult, cumbersome, and confusing. Seriously. There have been so many times in my life when it has caused issues -- airport, security documents, drivers license, background checks, graduations, etc etc. I'm getting married soon and planning to drop the extra middle name when I change my last name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why get so precious?
Regardless, feminist women are kidding themselves with “keeping their names.” We have a patriarchal naming system, so if anything, you are just keeping and “passing on” your DAD’s name.

Seriously, it’s one dude’s name or another (your husband’s or your dad’s!)

It’s interesting you view a man’s name as his own but a woman’s name as her father’s. Isn’t the husband’s last name his dad’s name??? If the choice is between keeping my dad’s name or my husband’s dad’s name, it seems really weird to choose your father in law.

[Anonymous]

I like this.

I wish my name were longer. It gives your kids options.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents did what you're describing OP. To be honest I don't love it - it doesn't fit on most forms and can be confusing what my actual legal name is. That being said, mine is a very long and hard to pronounce name so if yours is one syllable as you say it may be better. I would have preferred my parents just dropped my "first" middle name and named me FIRSTNAME MOMSLASTNAME DADSLASTNAME.

I posted the above and after seeing this thread take off I'm pretty sure I'm the only person with this name situation who has responded? I wouldn't tell my parents that I hate having the extra name-- it would make them feel bad, but it is really annoying and inconvenient. It is normal in some cultures but it isn't in ours and it makes every legal form difficult, cumbersome, and confusing. Seriously. There have been so many times in my life when it has caused issues -- airport, security documents, drivers license, background checks, graduations, etc etc. I'm getting married soon and planning to drop the extra middle name when I change my last name.

That’s great for you. Good choice. For you.

I have two middle names. It has never been more than a minor inconvenience. If I didn’t like it or it was an issue, I would change it. Just like you are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I kept my last name after marrying DH. We’re expecting our first baby now. I’m considering having my last name (one syllable) as a second middle name for the baby. That way, my last name would be part of baby’s official name without dealing with having a hyphenated last name (I don’t want to go the hyphenated last name route). I’d like to keep the first middle name short with a one syllable name as well. Thoughts? Is it a hassle having two middle names?

OP, I’m not reading all the replies, but we did what you’re thinking for similar reasons. I wanted official documents like passport and SSN to have my name somewhere but didn’t want to deal with a hyphenated ln. In cases where there’s not enough room for two relatively long mns, I just put the two initials.

I also like that he has name options and choices. Right now, our “Roberto Timothy Johnson Smith” is just Bob Smith. But he has lots of options for name combos and nns as he grows and changes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ve been held up at the airport immigration and security lines more than once for someone in our party having one letter different from ticket and ID (usually the middle name vs abbreviation is the culprit). Such a pain just for “Liam” vs “L”. I’d avoid doing 2 middle names just because computers (and dmv people) do not know how to consistently handle them. I’ve heard the same for people with “NMN”. Life’s hard enough.

Such a pain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why get so precious?
Regardless, feminist women are kidding themselves with “keeping their names.” We have a patriarchal naming system, so if anything, you are just keeping and “passing on” your DAD’s name.

Seriously, it’s one dude’s name or another (your husband’s or your dad’s!)

It’s interesting you view a man’s name as his own but a woman’s name as her father’s. Isn’t the husband’s last name his dad’s name??? If the choice is between keeping my dad’s name or my husband’s dad’s name, it seems really weird to choose your father in law.

I'm so annoyed by this. It's as much my name as my Dad's name. We earned it the same way. No one ever questions my brother's name or says it's only his Dad's name.

[Anonymous]

I was recently married and decided to do the double middle name for myself. I grew up with my dad’s very large Irish Catholic family and couldn’t imagine not having that name as part of my identity, but I’m also very attached to my middle name (my mom sometimes uses both names, ex Mary Kate), so there wasn’t an easy name to “drop.” I’m now something like “Mary Katherine Kelley Smith.” I love that instead of “loosing” part of my name/identity in marriage I gained a name - doesn’t feel like a loss. Once I finish changing my legal docs I don’t see how this would be a pain at all - my new middle is just something like “Katherine Kelley”. OP you should do it if you want to!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this and as the kids are near adults I am so glad that I did. They like it too (they have told me). We actually did four names: First Middle MyLastName HisLastName.

I’m from South America where this is standard naming practice. (Actually there is no concept of middle name there and official forms only have a first name and surname spot.) Everyone has 1 or 2 first names and 2 surnames. The last names are made from each of the parents paternal last name. I always liked it because it shows the blending of two families. It’s especially nice when women don’t change their names so they have an official connection to their child’s name.

We did this for my American born kids too. Their birth certificates are American so we had to put the second first name and my last name in the “middle name” spot. Only my firstborn is old enough to understand her full name and she likes it. (My other child is a toddler.)