Help me get out of this funk, please!

[Anonymous]

Over the last 5-6 months, I’ve put on about 6 pounds, adding to the 15 or 20 I already needed to lose. I’m 5’4 and 162. I’m 45 and highly successful in most areas of my life: happy, kind kids, great marriage, wonderful old and new friendships.

I’m also doing “well” at work. Late last summer, I was promoted to a highly visible position within the firm, a job I actually initially turned down and didn’t want. They asked me to reconsider and I ended up taking it, mainly because of the fear of the career repercussions of saying no again (I was offered and negotiated the position with my then boss’s boss). But now, I work a lot, can’t do the morning walks I had previously been doing before starting the job and I get home from the office exhausted (I never WFH during Covid, always in person). I can exercise in the evenings time-wise but energy-wise it’s dicey!

All that is TLDR, sorry. Bottom line, where do I start? Without me doing something, obviously this is only going to continue to go in the wrong direction. Any good meal planning website recommendations? What about noom, has that worked for anyone? 20 years ago I completed a few marathons but now I’m almost afraid to try to run, is walking enough? I just feel huge, tired and old. And then I feel guilty for feeling this way, as I have absolutely everything in the world and didn’t just leave my home and country with my kids, leaving my husband behind to fight Putin.

Arghh, can anyone relate? What do I do? Where do I start, today? Thanks in advance.

[Anonymous]

Each night before you go to bed, I would plan your meals for the next day. Log it in somewhere (my fitnesspal or a journal). Do this each night with whatever plan works for you to lose weight (I like myfitnesspal with setting my macros at lower carb). Eliminating choices when you've been making bad ones because you're busy is key. After you have this down, tweak what you are eating where needed (ie, maybe need more fiber or add a cheat meal for a special occasion). Then after that add exercise. It really is a process and you need to have patience with yourself. I started a similar process Feb 1 and have lost 10 pounds. I'm 54 years old if that is relevant.

[Anonymous]

I think the meal planning is a critical part of this. That, and getting into a habit of drinking more water and less caffeine during the day. Stress levels also play a huge part in weight gain or maintenance for some, at least it did for me.

We have been using a meal delivery service territory in the area now going on 2+ years and its great. I usually take those for lunch and we eat those for lunch at home on the days we are working from home.

As the poster said above, I would worry about the exercise as a secondary issue once you get your food lifestyle (not diet) more in line with what will help your normalize your weight.

You got this!

[Anonymous]

Can you try Weight Watchers? It’s pretty easy. Or Noom?

[Anonymous]

I'm also 5'4 and a mom in my mid-40s. As recently as last summer I was around your weight. Now I'm about 20lb less, losing about half a pound a week. I know people say tackle diet first before exercise, but I think what got me started was to start with lots of walking. Then gradually adding weight training and running. Exercising is what allows me to see myself as strong and healthy and to not want to ruin that by unhealthy food choices. I think if I were just dieting, I'd see it as deprivation. As for food, I find batch cooking healthy meals to be helpful. Really anything that keeps me from having to think too hard about it.

[Anonymous]

Walking is great. I’ve been loving apple fitness+ treadmill walking workouts that incorporate hills and speed intervals. Peloton has this type of content too that I’ve heard is awesome.

I agree with PP that exercise helps me eat better. Dieting without exercise feels like…dieting. When I’m exercising I feel strong and more inspired to fuel my body with healthier food.

[Anonymous]

I have two friends who love Noom and have lost a significant amount of weight with it. What works for me is planning my food ahead of time, as others have suggested. I'm generally good with eating healthy meals, but snacks just kill me if I don't plan for them.

I don't know what your work environment is, but would it be possible to use a standing desk, or to walk/pace in your office while working? I spend a lot of time on the phone, and I will literally pace or just walk in place while on calls as a way to get in some extra movement. It probably doesn't burn many calories, but I think it helps keep my energy level up.

[Anonymous]

I'm also 5'4 and a mom in my mid-40s. As recently as last summer I was around your weight. Now I'm about 20lb less, losing about half a pound a week. I know people say tackle diet first before exercise, but I think what got me started was to start with lots of walking. Then gradually adding weight training and running. Exercising is what allows me to see myself as strong and healthy and to not want to ruin that by unhealthy food choices. I think if I were just dieting, I'd see it as deprivation. As for food, I find batch cooking healthy meals to be helpful. Really anything that keeps me from having to think too hard about it.

I had a similar experience (late 40's, dropped from 160 to <120 in 7 months or so by eating less junk food and walking on the treadmill). I'm not sure that I could have done this so easily if I still had kids at home, a commute to an office, a stressful job with long hours, etc. I have an empty nest and a full-time WFH job with standard hours. But I at least wanted to put in a plug for walking. My typical walk is about 65 minutes, covers 5 miles and 2000 vertical feet and absolutely burns fat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm also 5'4 and a mom in my mid-40s. As recently as last summer I was around your weight. Now I'm about 20lb less, losing about half a pound a week. I know people say tackle diet first before exercise, but I think what got me started was to start with lots of walking. Then gradually adding weight training and running. Exercising is what allows me to see myself as strong and healthy and to not want to ruin that by unhealthy food choices. I think if I were just dieting, I'd see it as deprivation. As for food, I find batch cooking healthy meals to be helpful. Really anything that keeps me from having to think too hard about it.

I had a similar experience (late 40's, dropped from 160 to <120 in 7 months or so by eating less junk food and walking on the treadmill). I'm not sure that I could have done this so easily if I still had kids at home, a commute to an office, a stressful job with long hours, etc. I have an empty nest and a full-time WFH job with standard hours. But I at least wanted to put in a plug for walking. My typical walk is about 65 minutes, covers 5 miles and 2000 vertical feet and absolutely burns fat.

NP. This is really inspiring, since I hear nothing but doom and gloom when it comes to weight-loss in your 40s. I am in my mid-40s, 5'5', and just tipped the scales at 180. As a former underweight person/marathon runner/generally healthy person, I'm kind of horrified but also admit that I've been using food and sloth to deal with the absolute massive amounts of stress I currently have at home and work. Did you do anything else besides eat less junk and walk more? I love a hard workout, but using that to mitigate my stress just made me gain more weight because I was always starving. I know I need to add lifting, but planning that into my day and finding the right program, etc is stressing me out more, which isn't helping. Maybe walking and being mindful with my food is a better strategy?! Please share more!! I have three elementary age kids, so my days are little busier, but I WFH 3 days a week and have a treadmill at home and access to them at my office gym.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

I'm also 5'4 and a mom in my mid-40s. As recently as last summer I was around your weight. Now I'm about 20lb less, losing about half a pound a week. I know people say tackle diet first before exercise, but I think what got me started was to start with lots of walking. Then gradually adding weight training and running. Exercising is what allows me to see myself as strong and healthy and to not want to ruin that by unhealthy food choices. I think if I were just dieting, I'd see it as deprivation. As for food, I find batch cooking healthy meals to be helpful. Really anything that keeps me from having to think too hard about it.

I had a similar experience (late 40's, dropped from 160 to <120 in 7 months or so by eating less junk food and walking on the treadmill). I'm not sure that I could have done this so easily if I still had kids at home, a commute to an office, a stressful job with long hours, etc. I have an empty nest and a full-time WFH job with standard hours. But I at least wanted to put in a plug for walking. My typical walk is about 65 minutes, covers 5 miles and 2000 vertical feet and absolutely burns fat.

NP. This is really inspiring, since I hear nothing but doom and gloom when it comes to weight-loss in your 40s. I am in my mid-40s, 5'5', and just tipped the scales at 180. As a former underweight person/marathon runner/generally healthy person, I'm kind of horrified but also admit that I've been using food and sloth to deal with the absolute massive amounts of stress I currently have at home and work. Did you do anything else besides eat less junk and walk more? I love a hard workout, but using that to mitigate my stress just made me gain more weight because I was always starving. I know I need to add lifting, but planning that into my day and finding the right program, etc is stressing me out more, which isn't helping. Maybe walking and being mindful with my food is a better strategy?! Please share more!! I have three elementary age kids, so my days are little busier, but I WFH 3 days a week and have a treadmill at home and access to them at my office gym.

This is definitely a good strategy and place to start. Diet will have a bigger impact on fat loss than exercise and you really need to get that under control first. No need to go crazy and overhaul your entire life at once. Start by tracking EVERYTHING you eat for a week. This will bring more awareness/mindfulness to your eating. Why you eat, when you eat, how much you eat and where extra calories are being added in.

[Anonymous]

Get a Fitbit or Apple Watch. Download Myfitnessplan. CICO.

[Anonymous]

For me, intermittent fasting works well. If I am busy, I have no problem with black coffee for breakfast and non eating lunch until after 2pm. I think have a normal dinner and can snack as much as I want basically in the evening. I know standard practice is to say no eating after dinner, but I have always had an after dinner snack and while I can manage daytime hunger, I cannot handle hunger in the night.

This may not work for you, but I share bc I strongly believe there is no one right answer to your question. I would try a couple of different approaches for at least a week each and then assess what works best for you.

[Anonymous]

NP. This is really inspiring, since I hear nothing but doom and gloom when it comes to weight-loss in your 40s. I am in my mid-40s, 5'5', and just tipped the scales at 180. As a former underweight person/marathon runner/generally healthy person, I'm kind of horrified but also admit that I've been using food and sloth to deal with the absolute massive amounts of stress I currently have at home and work. Did you do anything else besides eat less junk and walk more? I love a hard workout, but using that to mitigate my stress just made me gain more weight because I was always starving. I know I need to add lifting, but planning that into my day and finding the right program, etc is stressing me out more, which isn't helping. Maybe walking and being mindful with my food is a better strategy?! Please share more!! I have three elementary age kids, so my days are little busier, but I WFH 3 days a week and have a treadmill at home and access to them at my office gym.

I started from a place where I was eating tons of junk (like kid's cereal, cookies, ice cream on a daily basis), so I just focused on eating very little added sugar and processed food. While I was losing, I usually tried to eat between 11 and 7, but I was not strict and I never skipped meals. I would have breakfast at 11, lunch at 2, dinner by 7 and a snack between lunch and dinner. I didn't count calories or track my food (former ED - can't get obsessive about that stuff). I didn't cut dairy or whole grains, added fruits and vegetables, and still ate whatever DH made for dinner (sometimes healthy, sometimes not). I avoided drinking calories (I already liked black coffee and disliked alcohol anyway).

When I reached my goal, those dietary changes stayed, and so did my weight, even when I went back to my natural tendency to eat 3 meals and many, many snacks at all hours of the day. I just don't indulge in the 800 calorie "snack" anymore which I guess is a no brainer for most people, but had to be learned for me. I probably eat over 2000 calories a day to maintain my current weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I'm also 5'4 and a mom in my mid-40s. As recently as last summer I was around your weight. Now I'm about 20lb less, losing about half a pound a week. I know people say tackle diet first before exercise, but I think what got me started was to start with lots of walking. Then gradually adding weight training and running. Exercising is what allows me to see myself as strong and healthy and to not want to ruin that by unhealthy food choices. I think if I were just dieting, I'd see it as deprivation. As for food, I find batch cooking healthy meals to be helpful. Really anything that keeps me from having to think too hard about it.

I had a similar experience (late 40's, dropped from 160 to <120 in 7 months or so by eating less junk food and walking on the treadmill). I'm not sure that I could have done this so easily if I still had kids at home, a commute to an office, a stressful job with long hours, etc. I have an empty nest and a full-time WFH job with standard hours. But I at least wanted to put in a plug for walking. My typical walk is about 65 minutes, covers 5 miles and 2000 vertical feet and absolutely burns fat.

You walk at a 5 mph pace? That’s wild. I can barely get past 3.8 without needing to switch to a jog.

[Anonymous]

Download WW app right now and start tracking what you're eating. Use one of their coaches.

App has recipes, workouts, motivational talks, online community etc

good luck!